


Theory of a Heart

by skrivarmelodi



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AU, Angst, Brotherhood: Final Fantasy XV, Drama, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, High school to University, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Racism, Romance, but includes some canon parts, young and stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2018-11-17 02:17:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 125,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11265879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skrivarmelodi/pseuds/skrivarmelodi
Summary: Ignis Scientia was one of the kids people liked to label as talented or gifted. With his sharp mind and his soul that grew older faster than his body, he got the chance for a new life and to use his talent and gift to support Prince Noctis.He left his hometown with his uncle and finally found a place where he felt like he belonged to. He was allowed to learn as much as he wanted to and people respected him for his talent and praised him for his good work.But everything started to change when Ignis began to visit a public school and had to learn, that not everyone was as welcoming and accepting as the people working for the crown. And things got even more complicated when his heart spoke a language he couldn't understand, especially not when his heart decided to belong to a certain Gladiolus Amicitia.





	1. Roots

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing here but since November I haven't stopped playing XV and eventually Gladnis became my new addiction. So, here we are and let's see where the journey will go. Also, this fic is some sort of canon/AU - if that makes sense. Set Pre-Game for now. Hope you enjoy it! And big thanks to all the other writers for giving us amazing Gladnis fics and also to all the fanart drawers for giving me tons of inspiration!
> 
> I'm also working on a Spotify Playlist and if you like to talk to me about FF or whatever here is [my tumblr](http://skrivarmelodi.tumblr.com/)!

**Theory of a heart**

 

Chapter 1. Roots

 

_He's talented! He has a gift!_

Those words were spoken by his uncle on the day he left his home for the very first time and they were spoken to his mother and father, who barely reacted to his uncle's explanation of why Ignis needed to leave them. Those words opened a door for him he never dreamed of, words that somehow explained to him why he didn't really fit into the world he was born in.

Ignis Scientia was barely five years old when he realized that he was different, that he had a talent. He understood the term talent because his uncle taught him the meaning of it. It meant that he could do something better than other people, in his own unique way. It meant that he was allowed to walk a different path than the rest of the people he knew. A path he couldn't imagine what it would look like but he was eager to try.

With his five years of life he couldn't explain why he was so different from anyone else but he could feel it in his small body, his glasses slipping down his nose too many times - the specs were simply too big for his small face. But everything he wore was a bit bigger, a bit too dirty and a bit too pale compared to his uncle's look. Whenever he visited them Ignis noticed how well dressed his uncle was. Clean, fitting and shining in black and white – and some sort of purple or blue was added to his outfit through a shirt or neckerchief.

His uncle's appearance was enough to get everyone's attention and to make people whisper and believe that Ignis family was wealthy compared to everyone else’s. But that was so far from the truth because no one who had money would – voluntary - live where Ignis was born. It was a land marked by old wars, a land and town filled with stubborn people who had nothing good to say about Insomnia nor any other wealthy place and its people. Ignis never understood that stubbornness and he saw the King's people trying to help, but everyone declined.

“We don't need alms, we're not beggars” was what the adults said, deciding the fate of everyone else who had no voice.

Ignis never wanted any sort of prestige nor did he wish to be rich but he also didn't want to eat the same food every day and he didn't want to feel dirty, even though he washed himself. He wanted to have simple things like a soft bed to sleep in, warm water to wash himself - without wincing because it was too cold -, books to read, clean and fitting clothes and a wider selection of food. Something inside him ached to taste more than just potatoes and vegetables that looked questionable.

Those wishes were born because his uncle told him about Insomnia, about King Regis and his job as an adviser. Through his uncle he understood that all of this could become reality and the more his uncle talked about it, the more Ignis wanted to live that kind of life. It seemed like a life and a place where he belonged and didn't feel out of place.

So when his uncle talked to his parents and tried to convince them to let him go with him, Ignis's fingers fumbled with the hem of his shirt and looked around as if to make sure if he really wanted to leave this place. He did whenever he looked at the cracks on the walls, the dirt in the kitchen and especially when he looked at his parents. They had dark circles under their eyes, the color and shine inside them almost gone and their bodies, for once, not consumed by some weird booze everyone was drinking.

It was a good thing that they were sober so Ignis wouldn't have any concerns about their decision.

“Working for the King you said?” his father asked. “That means he'll earn a lot of money and could support us.”

The word money caught also his mother's attention and without much hesitation she voiced her agreement. And his father as well.

“Thank you.” his uncle said with a little bow – he treated everyone respectfully no matter who it was – and told Ignis to get his things.

Ignis nodded and walked to his room but he didn't stay there for long because there wasn't much he wanted or could take with him. He understood that his clothes would never fit into the society of Insomnia and the last thing he wanted to do was to embarrass his uncle or the King. All he needed was a bag to put the only book he owned inside. It had a melancholic value because it was the only thing that he connected with warm memories about him and his parents. His mother used to read it to him and while doing so he learned to read himself and when his mother realized how fast her too young son learned, she slowly distanced herself from him, and so did his father.

And not just his parents.

Also the children he met outside to play with distanced themselves from him when he announced that he was able to read.

It confused Ignis that his parents reacted the way they did because – logically – shouldn't they have been proud of him? But they weren't. And Ignis, who felt proud of himself, regretted that he didn't keep it a secret to himself. Back then he didn't think that he had a talent but,on the contrary, he thought that the fact that he learned so quickly and understood so many things so early in his life, was a curse. Everything he learned and understood became his secret.

It was his uncle who helped Ignis to see the curse as a talent and it was his uncle who showed Ignis all the doors he could walk through if he would come with him to Insomnia. By that time Ignis already was disconnected to the people and his home, and the perspective to have a different and better life, was giving him hope that he could find a place where he belonged.

“I don't have much but I suppose I won't need any of the things I own, right?” Ignis asked when he left his room to join his uncle and parents in the kitchen.

“You're right, Ignis.” his uncle confirmed and Ignis could see how proud his uncle was by his expression.

He looked at his parents who did look back but their looks didn't tell Ignis that they understood, that their son was about to leave and, if he did good, he probably wouldn't return. Ever.

“Make sure to send us some money, son. You know how hard things are here. ” his father said and Ignis felt the need to leave instantly. He couldn't name the feeling he felt but it was nothing good and was making it hard to fill his lungs with air and even his eyes started to burn, but he did not cry. They bid their goodbye as if they were strangers and Ignis followed his uncle outside to the black car which was standing at the border of the town.

As they walked through the run-down town Ignis didn't spend much time to take anything in. His memory was good enough and he would always be able to recall this place in his dreams. From afar Ignis noticed the black car, shining, clean and looking expensive. He had never seen the car before but it gave him an idea about the life he was about to enter.

 

* * *

 

It took several hours to arrive at the borders of Insomnia and though Ignis wanted to look out of the window and take everything in and watch the scenery change, his little body screamed for sleep.

His uncle woke him up right before they arrived at the border controls and Ignis felt his body becoming tense. He had never seen the King's guards, dressed in fine uniforms and guarded with swords and pistols.

Ignis watched how his uncle smiled at them and greeted the guards as if they were old friends – which was probably the case considering that his uncle lived here for so many years already. He listened to the guard talking, noticing right away that he had a different accent than Ignis and his uncle had. It would take some time until he wouldget used to that, he thought.

The car moved again and after some minutes Ignis sat up straight and pressed his hands against the window's glass to take everything in. It was nighttime but Ignis could still make out how big the city was, bigger than anything he had seen or imagined. The buildings were build high as if they could touch the sky, lights were everywhere and cars and people walking around and simply belonging to this modern world he had never seen before.

He felt dizzy after a while and decided to sit back down and close his eyes to breath for a while. It was much to take in but it didn't scare him or made him unsure. On the contrary, Ignis wanted to see more, learn more and become a part of this world with its many doors he could open and walk through. He was excited and couldn't stop the smile on his lips when he realized that, yes, this was no dream.

It was his new reality.

“I need to tell you something, Ignis.” his uncle began and Ignis had a bad feeling about the way he spoke. It sounded like a warning.

“You're not the only one who'll try to get the position as Prince Noctis' future adviser. There are other children, older than you, who'll compete against you.”

Older than him? Which meant they were better than him at certainthings simply because of their age and experience.

“You didn't say it would be a competition. ” Ignis recalled.

“No. But just because I didn't want your parents to say no. They obviously don't see your talent and like to give up before even trying. I'm certain they would have never agreed if I didn't give them the guarantee that you have a safe job.”

“I understand.” Ignis said. And he did. As long as his parents got something out of it they would have agreed to anything.

“I have no doubt that you'll succeed. Do your best and use your talent, I'll help you of course.”

Ignis nodded and looked back out of the window to see another building which was probably the highest one. It was guarded by many men and women, by walls and gates and Ignis knew that this was the Citadel is uncle told him about. This was the place where King Regis, his family and the people who worked for them, lived. The car stopped in front of the stairs which leaded to the entrance of the building and Ignis followed his uncle and stood close to him as if he was trying to hide himself.

No matter who fell into his sight, was dressed clean and nicely while Ignis appearance couldn't be ignored. He felt dirty and like all eyes were on him as if he were some sort of alien and his big glasses kept slipping down his nose because he wasn't able to stop his body from shaking. His uncle placed a warm hand on his shoulder and it helped him, even if just a little bit. He was not alone, right.

They walked up the stairs and entered the building to walk inside a huge hallway which was shining and breathtakingly beautiful. There were so many doors and ways and two men stood in the middle of it waiting for them apparently. They were dressed in black, but their faces were warm and smiling right at them.

“Welcome back, Ronan. I suppose the young man here is your nephew.” King Regis spoke and his voice sounded nice, Ignis thought.

“Yes, your Majesty,” his uncle said and bowed down, which Ignis copied. He never met a king before and he didn't know much about how to behave and how to speak, but he listened to his uncle and decided it would be smart to just behave like he did. “This is Ignis Scientia.”

“Your uncle told me that you're a boy with a special gift.” Regis said as he hunkered down to be on eye level with Ignis. That small gesture told Ignis more than words could and he understood that he could trust this King and that he really saw the talent Ignis held inside him.

He nodded slowly and watched the other man behind the King smiling amused about his King.

“You look alike, I have to say,” the man spoke and his blue eyes were focused on Ronan.

“The physical heritage is strong on my family's side,” Ronan said and made the other man chuckle. “Gladiolus comes after his mother, right, Clarus?”

“Oh yes, he has her eyes and a certain softness but he'll soon come right after me.” Clarus said proudly and Ronan chuckled and so did the King. Ignis didn't understand what was so funny about that but he also believed it wasn't important for now.

“Now gentleman, let's not forget why we are here,” Regis announced and looked back at Ignis, smiling in a way only a father could and Ignis tried to recall a memory of his father smiling like that. But there was none. “Ignis, I'd like to welcome you to Insomnia and to our, we say, family.”

“But, your Majesty, I still need to prove myself, don't I?” Ignis said confused about the King's words. He looked at his uncle who smiled down at Ignis and patted his head fondly.

No one said a word and Ignis was even more confused when he watched the King's face change into a warmer expression while he rose to his feet. “It's very late for a young man like you and I'm sure you're tired after your long journey. Ronan, will you show him his room?”

“Of course your Majesty.” Ronan said, bowed down again and Ignis did the same.

Regis left and Ignis followed his uncle to one of the elevators. They both said nothing and it wasn't like Ignis was a person of many words, which was probably unusual for his young age, but everything he saw and was still seeing overwhelmed him and he needed his own time to take everything in and realize that this was real. Ignis watched the numbers jump up and up and at the number 22 the elevator stopped and they walked into the hallway. He looked to his left and right and there were many doors and everything was in black and silver and gold. He guessed that this was one of the floors with apartments for the people who worked for the King.

A king who gave his people a place to live in his Citadel must be a kind king, right? At least that was Ignis logical conclusion.

“We'll share an apartment for now and when you get older you'll get your own.” his uncle said when they stopped in front of a door and then walked inside. In fact, it was an apartment with an open kitchen and living room and three more doors. One was probably to the bathroom and the other two bedrooms. But what really caught his attention was the desk filled with books and piles of papers and the shelves along the walls filled with even more books.

“Uncle? King Regis welcomed me as if I already belong here but you said I need to compete against others and if I don't succeed, I won't be allowed to stay here, right?”

Ronan smiled as he untied his tie and hunkered down to his nephew, resting his hand on his shoulder while he spoke.

“You have a gift, Ignis. No matter what happens you have a place here, one way or the other.”

Ignis thought about his words and wondered what kind of place he had here. He wondered what this gift exactly was and what the King planned for him. They were looking for an adviser for the Prince, he was here because of that.

“Do you think I'll do good?” Ignis asked. “Do you think I'm qualified enough to be Prince Noctis' adviser?”

Ronan made a face as if he was sad and proud at the same time and Ignis noticed he always made that face when he used words other kids hisage never used.

“I have no doubt about that.”

 

* * *

 

It took Ignis several days to truly understand that this modern life, where no one was poor nor labeled as bad or looking dirty, was legit – and his first night a real bed was one of the best feelings he ever experienced. It wasn't an illusion he made up in his mind whenever he wanted to escape the harsh life he used to have. It felt like he entered a new world far away form his own while his uncle showed him the Citadel and the ways around it so he would always know how to find his way back and never get lost.

While showing Ignis his new home they also went to the King's tailor and bought new clothes for him and Ronan let Ignis decide what he wanted to wear, trusting his nephew to make the right decisions. Ignis didn't disappoint and proved that he had a gift for learning faster and understanding more than other kids his age did. Being observant, composed and coming across as older and wiser, used to be a burden for Ignis but being here he felt like he truly was blessed with some gift, with some talent he could explore and never be judged for.

One day his uncle accompanied him to a hall that reminded him of a classroom but much bigger. He pushed his new fitting glasses up his nose and watched the other kids – perhaps around 15 kids – as everyone was standing by themselves and not talking, but they all turned around when they heard the door being opened. Ignis tried to breath evenly because there was something about the way their eyes were fixed on him and he felt pretty naked, even though he was fully dressed.

“I'll pick you up when the exam is over,” his uncle said and Ignis heard his words clearly but he also noticed the change in the faces of the others. He couldn't tell what the expressions meant but he didn't have a good feeling.

“I'll do my best,” Ignis promised and then he was standing there alone, ignoring the looks from the others. They probably heard his accent and, unlike the adults, those kids perhaps had never had anything to do with people outside from Insomnia. Ignis was certain about that and pushed any bothersome thought out of his mind. He wasn't here to make friends but to pass an exam so he would become the adviser of Prince Noctis. His uncle told him that that was the easiest way to describe his possible future position but, in fact, he would receive a special education for gifted children and work as a staff officer and a consultant, for the future King. It were words Ignis still needed to learn more about but for now, he would do what he was told to do.

He didn't want to return to his old home, he was more than certain about that.

Without much thinking he sat down in one of the front seats, held the pen his uncle gave him while he taught Ignis everything he needed to know during the past weeks, and waited for an adult to walk through the doors. Since no one talked with each other he didn't see the point in starting a conversation either.

It didn't take long for a young woman to enter the room and tell everyone who was still standing, to sit down. She explained what this exam was about and what the possibilities of their future looked like depending on the score they'd accomplish. Then she gave out the papers and Ignis waited until she was done talking and gave the signal to start with the exam.

Ignis picked up his pen, turned the page, and blocked everything else out.

 

* * *

 

When Ignis was done and the woman collected the papers from everyone, she gave him a knowing smile and he tried to recall her face and a name, but it wasn't so easy for him. He met tons of people every day and was a new sort of frustration he felt because, usually, he remembered everything and saved it in his memory right after he saw it. But with so many faces it wasn't easy even for him. Ignis made a mental note for himself that he needed to work on that as soon as possible, especially if he became Noctis' right hand.

The woman told them that they were allowed to leave and would get their results around evening. Ignis nodded, feeling good about the exam, and made his way to the door where his uncle was waiting for him. He also wore that knowing smile and Ignis, somehow, knew that he did not fail. It was a weird feeling, one that bubbled inside him since he came here and started to learn so many things he didn't know about. It was a sort of satisfaction to be allowed to finally use his full potential and expand it to its limits.

Finally Ignis smiled and, even though he was certain about the result, he was still a kid and didn't hold back to show his happiness when it was officially confirmed that he would become the adviser of the future King.

“Tomorrow you're going to meet the Prince and Gladiolus Amicitia. Do you remember Clarus? Gladiolus is his son and will be Nocits shield, just like Clarus is for King Regis.”

Ignis nodded and remembered the names of Gladiolus and Clarus and listened while his uncle explained to him that the Amicitia family have always been the shield of the Lucis family, men and women alike. He remembered that Clarus came across as some sort of warrior, or as someone who was there to protect others.

“I'll have to work together with him, right?” Ignis asked.

“Indeed. But for now you'll attend a special education and Gladiolus will have his own. Are you worried about working with him?”

Ignis wanted to say that yes because he had his concerns, but he wasn't exactly worried. What bothered him was to actually connect with people in a friendship way. It was a concept he didn't know and didn't understand because he never had that. It had always just been him and his family.

“I... don't know how, you know? I've always been... on my own,” Ignis admitted and he didn't like to do so. It was a weakness, he thought, and he didn't want to appear weak. Something or someone thought he deserved to have a better life and he didn't want to ruin it himself.

“You'll learn how to, I'm sure. And I have no doubt that you'll become good friends with the Prince and his shield,” was all his uncle said.

The next day Ignis woke up early, feeling fidgety and excited at the same time because he was about to meet Prince Noctis, the person he would be responsible for from now on. It was sort of odd, some might have said, for a child to take care of another child, but his uncle explained to him that it was important to create a strong bond with the Prince. Ignis didn't understand much about the concept of friendship and creating a bond with someone who was not blood related to him, but he heard that having friends was one of the best things in life.

He wondered what the difference was between being an adviser and being a friend.

They met the King and his son in a big room which leaded to the beautiful garden. As usual Ignis was fascinated by all the flowers and plants and the many colors because in his hometown plants were a rare thing. Ignis used the time while they waited to admire the view and hoped that he would get the chance to walk through the gardens some time soon.

When the doors opened Ignis stood straight, remembering his uncle's words about how to greet the royal family and bowed down in unison with his uncle when the King walked inside carrying his son in his arms, followed by Clarus and his son Gladiolus – as Ignis guessed. He looked back up after they greeted the King and expected a woman, the queen, to enter the room as well but she never came and Ignis thought it was rather weird. Thinking about it, no one ever mentioned a queen and he wanted to ask where she was, but he didn't. Certain he would eventually learn more about the royal family, he focused on the child in the King's arms, who slowly woke up and his eyes, shining blue and curious, found Ignis and his uncle, though his little hands held tight to his father's shirt

Ignis knew that this was a moment he would never forget and recall many times in his life. It would remind him of what he felt when he saw the Prince and what his future responsibility was.

It happened slowly. As the King put his son down so he could stand on his own feet, his little hand found its way to his mouth as he looked at Ignis as if he had never seen another child before.

“Noctis, this is Ignis. He'll be taking care of you, just like Gladiolus does,” Regis explained but Ignis doubted that Noctis, who was barely three years old, understood what this even meant. Yet Ignis approached him slowly, making himself smaller so he was on eye level with the Prince and smiled as he said.

“It's an honor to meet you, Prince Noctis.”

First Noctis didn't say or do anything. His blue eyes remained on Ignis face, watching his expression carefully before he slowly smiled. His small hands moved and reached out to touch Ignis glasses with a joy only a three year old could show. Ignis blinked confused but took them off to hand them to the Prince who seemed to be fascinated by them. Ignis sighed and looked back to the King and his uncle as if to make sure he was doing good. Their smiles – which he could see good enough even without his glasses – calmed him down and gave him the answer he needed.

“Gladilous?”

“Yes, your Majesty?”

Ignis watched the other kid stand straight when the King addressed him. He hadn't seen Gladiolus before but he definitely looked taller than a six year old would. Perhaps it had something to do with thefact that his family had always been the shield of the Lucis and it was in their DNA to be stronger and taller than usual.

“Why don't you, Noctis and Ignis, go out and get to know each other while we adults talk?”

“Of course, your Majesty.”

Gladiolus didn't hesitate and took his place next to Noctis, standing a bit before him as a shield should and stretched out his hand towards Ignis.

“I'm Gladiolus Amicitia, nice to meet you.”

Ignis watched him smile, a wide and carefree smile as if he had nothing to be worried about and as if he already accepted his role as a shield. He was so different compared to his father, his eyes were brown, his face and eyes softer and Ignis finally understood the jokes the adults had made on his first day.

“Ignis Scientia,” he introduced himself as he took his glasses back from the Prince and then shook Gladiolus hand.

Ronan opened the doors to the garden and Noctis was the first who ran outside, Gladiolus following him and Ignis right behind them. He watched how Noctis started to look at flowers and be fascinated by the butterflies and colors while Gladio kept a close look at him even though there was no potential danger at all. Ignis just stood there, watching the both of them carefully, getting to know them through their expressions and movements first.

Gladiolus though, as Ignis had guessed, didn't mind chatting and started to talk when he was certain that the Prince was safe and doing fine.

“You'll be Noctis' adviser, right?”

“That's correct.” Ignis confirmed.

“Huh, you have a funny way of talking.” Gladiolus chuckled and Ignis arched an eyebrow. Yes, he noticed that his accent was rare in Insomnia and he noticed that people looked up twice whenever he talked to someone who wasn't part of the King's family or working for him. It always left a bad feeling inside him, but his young mind couldn't explain what it actually was and that same feeling started to grow inside him after he heard Gladiolus speak.

He eyed him for a while not sure what to say about that remark and Gladiolus noticed the change of the mood.

“Uh...I wasn't trying to insult you or anything.”

Ignis nodded and decided to believe him for now as he looked back to the Prince who was still admiring the flowers.

“Where's Noctis' mother though?” he asked because it was an information he needed to know.

“She died shortly after he was born,” Gladiolus answered. “My father told me that King Regis chooses the people who'll be at Noctis side carefully so they won't be just working for him but also become his friends. He wants for Noctis a normal life and not to isolate him from the world. King Regis wants to give his son everything he needs since he lost so much so soon.”

Ignis did notice that the royal family wasn't exactly as royal as people imagined it to be. His uncle told him enough for Ignis to understand that. However, with this new information about the Prince a new feeling started to bloom. The feeling came from the thought that Noctis had no mother and Ignis felt sorry for the Prince who would never experience the love of a mother. Ignis, no matter what his relationship with his parents became, knew that sort of love, even though it was a rather blurry memory. But he had a mother and Noctis did not.

“But now he has us in his life and we'll do our best right?” Gladiolus said with a bright smile.

Ignis stared at him for several seconds before he shook himself out of it and nodded slowly.

Right, he needed to do his best.

 

* * *

 

During the years Ignis attended, as his uncle told him, a special education for gifted children. He wasn't the only one at the beginning since they all needed to learn the basics but, when he turned 10, they all got separated and Ignis had his uncle, but also other people who worked for the King, as teachers. He learned all about politics, about the royal family and their history, about other countries and empires and at the same time, he watched Noctis grow and the fortune and misfortune life held for him.

No one ever ordered him to take care of Noctis the way he did – and subconsciously he did try to replace everything that was missing in Noctis' life – and it made him feel proud of himself in his own way. He was at Noctis side after he got badly injured and stayed in Tenebrae for a while, he stood at his side when Noctis started to go to a public school and any other time as well. It was a responsibility he accepted without hesitation because he didn't want to disappoint anyone and he wanted to show the King how grateful he was for the chance he got.

And he felt sorry for the Prince and all the burden that fell on his shoulders while being so young.

But when Ignis turned 15 years old and started to attend a public school himself, while still receiving the special education, he got confronted, for the first time, with what life and the people of Insomnia outside the Citadel were like. Ignis never noticed how guarded he had been during the past years until his first day of High School.

It started with the day he received his school uniform, which was a plain white shirt – long and short sleeves - dark pants, and a black jacket during the cold days. Not that he disliked the look but he wished he could add a black vest to it or something else as he got used to during the past years. But this was a public school and King Regis – who was sometimes like a child and had a lot of humor – thought it was a good idea for the younger people to take part in the public life and know the people and their life because it was very different from the life under the crown.

Ignis understood the reason and agreed to it – since he needed and wanted to learn and know as much as he could, to be the best adviser for Noctis when he would become King. However, that didn't mean he would like everything that came with attending a public school. Besides the uniform, something else made him nervous. And that was dealing with people that were around his age and who hadn't been raised in the way he had been.

Because the only social contact Ignis truly had was with Noctis – most of the time – and all the people who understood and lived the life close to the King. And most of those people were older than him. No one went through puberty anymore and there was no drama only a teenager or child could cause – except for the Prince and the King obviously, but that was different. He couldn't talk about politics or anything related to the crown and he didn't have any other interests besides reading and – just recently – cooking. He wasn't interested in dates, in going out, getting drunk, video-games, or talking gossip and other things any other teenager cared about.

Ignis voiced his concerns to his uncle a week before his high school life would start. But his uncle only smiled and told Ignis: “I understand your concern, Ignis. But I think it'll be good for you to make the experience of what an ordinary life looks like.”

Ignis didn't agree but he didn't say it out loud. Long ago he sworn to himself to be loyal to the crown and do whatever needed to be done and know everything so he could support Noctis in the best way possible. It was what he wanted and what he was good at and he never felt like something was missing. Even though he never said it out loud - how serious he was about his responsibilities - his uncle could see right through him, as if he knew how Ignis felt. Perhaps he did since he had the same responsibilities and went through the same education Ignis did and still had to.

Ronan sighed and placed a hand on Ignis shoulder as he smiled and said: “We all admire your loyalty and your hard work, Ignis. But you're also a young man, you know? You should enjoy your youth as long as you can, do you understand?”

Ignis nodded and knew exactly what his uncle meant. He was talking about the fact that he should do all the things Ignis never really cared about and if he did anything childish or 'to be blamed by the youths stupidity' it happened because of the Prince. Not the he ever blamed Noctis for behaving like a child, but whatever the Prince decided to do, Ignis was right beside him. Sneaking out of the castle to go to the rooftops and watch the sunset or sunrise, sneaking around to play tricks on the King and, whenever they got caught, Ignis took the blame.

It didn't take long and he soon viewed the Prince not just as his responsibility and the person he worked for, but also as some sort of younger brother. And during their childhood he really lived the role as a brother who protected his younger sibling from his own childishness.

He wanted, just like King Regis, for Noctis to have a normal life and enjoy the time he had. Especially since he knew that Noctis was the chosen King and his destiny was already written down. The burden Noctis was carrying with him was much bigger than he was ready for or probably understood, and Ignis felt sad for him. So he did his best to make the Prince happy and also prepare him for the future while he himself never took any sort of interest in behaving like a child or teenager. And it never bothered him. Everything he had made him happy and proud of himself.

“I understand, uncle.”

“Gladiolus attends the same school, so you won't be on your own.” Ronan added and Ignis looked up, one eyebrow raised as always whenever he was skeptical.

 

* * *

 

Gladiolus Amicitia, the shield of Prince Noctis, another brother figure and also the person who taught Noctis how to spare and defend himself since early age. Ignis didn't know much about Gladiolus since the only time they met was when Noctis was involved, mainly when Ignis picked Noctis up from his training with Gladiolus or set him off there. Noctis – who called Gladiolus Gladio – did talk about him, but most of the time he complained how harshly and seriously Gladiolus took their sparing hours.

There was no need to deny that Noctis came across as a brat sometimes and Ignis did blame himself from time to time for being too kind with the Prince.

That was basically all he knew about Gladio. He was strong and pushed Noctis to his limits, complained that he was spoiled and behaved like a brat when they were younger, but that he also had a certain softness and warmth coming from him. Yet, all this information was far too little to really create a picture of who Gladiolus was since they never really spent any time alone or talked about other things. Their topics had always been connected to their responsibilities, the crown or – most of the time – it was all about Noctis and his development.

It had never been anything personal or anything deep and only now Ignis realized that he probably should have put more effort into getting to know Gladiolus since they both were closest to Noctis, not just as shield and adviser but also as friends and brothers.

However, knowing that he wouldn't be alone in that public school, calmed him down a bit, even though he still felt slightly uncomfortable in his school uniform. He just needed to handle that for the next two years. Yes, only two years. Because he was allowed to skip a school year because thanks to his sharp mind and his grades he would graduate when he'd turn 17 years old and attend University.

It was April, a sunny but cold day, so he put his jacket on and left the Citadel to use the public transport. King Regis thought it was a good idea when he announced that everyone should attend the public school and use public transports, and he said it with a chuckle that reminded Ignis how childish he could be. Ignis didn't disobey but he needed to make a lot of research about that so he wouldn't be late nor get lost.

It was a seven minute drive with the bus and another ten minute walk which Ignis used to calm himself down and usually, a walk, helped him doing that. However, when he saw the other students making their way to the school building, behaving like people between 15 and 18 years old did, he sighed. Everyone was so loud and so cheerful and talking about – for Ignis – nonsense and things he had never heard about – what on earth was King's Knight?

As he stood in front of the building and watched the masses enter or standing outside and chatting, he pulled out his phone to read his notes – for the sixth time today – to make sure he remembered the room number right. Ignis nodded to himself, pushed his glasses up his nose and walked towards the entrance to find the room where he would spend half of his day for the next two years. When he arrived at his classroom and saw that it was already filled with other students, he stopped and watched what was happening before him. Everyone was talking, laughing and standing together in little groups as if they knew each other already.

Ignis was confused at first about how this was possible but then he remembered – with an inner groan – that those people already had spent a year together so obviously they knew each other and he was the new one. Feeling ashamed of himself for having overlooked such an obvious point, he rubbed his temples, trying to ignore the headache that threatened to come. He needed to work much harder on himself because if he would ever forget or overlook a detail that was related to political or strategical decisions, it could cause so much harm and he would be responsible for it.

“Hey, Ignis!”

Ignis took a step back and looked to his left side where he saw a guy approaching him. A big guy, taller than him with muscles that made him look older than he actually was. Gladiolus Amicitia, Noctis' shield and friend and the person he would work with in the near future. Ignis blinked several times as he took in and noticed how much Gladiolus had changed. The boyish features were almost gone and his smile that easily turned into a grin, seemed to be different as well and it made his heart react in a way that startled him.

Okay, that was weird, but he didn't pay much attention to it.

“Good morning, Gladiolus.” he greeted him as he usually did whenever they met.

“Stop that Gladiolus thing. Just call me Gladio, we're not inside the Citadel, you know?”

“I know. But it's disrespectful to not address people in the proper way.”

“Says mister fine and proper, huh?” Gladiolus commented with a teasing smile and Ignis almost blushed but busied himself with fixing his blue tie. Right, he was proper but that was a part of him and he didn't think there was anything wrong with that.

“Just because we're outside the Citadel doesn't mean we can behave in a way that could cause a bad image for the crown.” Ignis reasoned.

“Jeez, Ignis, relax. You're young and we're here to be young because we won't get a second chance to be young and stupid.” Gladiolus said, his teasing smile gone, replaced with little concern.

“I'm not exactly interested in excursions that include breaking rules and consuming a certain kind of liquid that washes away all reason.” Ignis said and it was the truth. He was not interested in parties, alcohol or anything like that. Not to mention that he simply had no time for any of those things. Beside school, he also had to take care of Noctis and attend meetings with the King, Clarus and other people working for the crown as they talked about politics and strategies to protect Insomnia and find a friendly way to cooperate with the other nations. It was part of the things he needed to learn and Ignis knew all about the Lucis, the crystal, Niflheim. It was his job to know everything and give the advice, strategies and everything else Noctis would need the moment he became King.

He wasn't important but his abilities were and he needed to work on them, learn more so he would never disappoint the Prince nor the King. That made him happy and he didn't need more than that.

“Now I understand what Noct means when he says you're too old for your age. You look like you're sixteen but you certainly don't behave like that.” Gladiolus said.

“I'm responsible for the Prince,” Ignis said and it wasn't new to him that Noctis thought he was too stiff, as he liked to call it.

“But you're not his mother, Ignis. You spoil him far too much.” Gladiolus chuckled and Ignis understood that he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. Even if Gladiolus didn't agree with the way he treated Noctis, Ignis wasn't sure if he would care enough. He knew his place and his duty.

“And you push him to his limits and then you end up having an argument.”

“Well, someone has to, right? A King who can't fight and defend himself can't protect his people, right?” Ignis noticed the proud sound in his voice and shrugged slowly.

“I can't say anything against that.”

“See? I think we're doing a good job. Me pushing Prince Charmless and you buttering him up a bit so he won't quit.” Gladiolus laughed a little.

Ignis looked at him and nodded and saw how Gladiolus smile disappeared as if he expected for Ignis to react in a different way.

Did he do something wrong? No, he didn't think he did.

“Look, I'm aware of our responsibilities and Noctis fate and his and our role in all of this. But it's not like he's going to be King tomorrow. We're young, Ignis. The King sent us here to be young and make normal experiences like anyone else, just like Noct does.”

Ignis didn't say anything because he didn't want to discuss that matter in a public place where anyone could listen to what they were talking about. All he knew was that it wasn't as easy as Gladiolus described it and maybe it had something to do with the fact that Ignis simply knew more than he did and that's why he couldn't behave in a way that was normal for his age. Not to forget that he wasn't like anyone else and, if he was honest, he didn't know how, or saw the point in, being young and stupid.

He wanted to say that he didn't need any of those things – again – and that he was fine with how his life went. There were many things Ignis wanted to say out loud and talk some reason into Gladiolus and let him understand how serious things actually were and how different their situation was from Noctis'. But he held himself back because he didn't want to have an argument nor did he want to really come across like Noctis' mother. Also, he had no right to tell Gladiolus how to live his life as long as he didn't neglect his duty – which wasn't the case at all.

So he simply nodded and that made Gladiolus smile and Ignis heart react again in this unpleasant way but he ignored it right away.

“My father told me that you'll skip a year. You must be pretty smart though,” Gladiolus said. “What are guys like you called? Gifted children?”

“Something like that.” Ignis confirmed.

“Well, that's good. Now we'll have time to get to know each other, right?”

“I suppose.” Ignis said and the old familiar feeling grew inside him.

Friendship.

He had no friends besides Noctis and he wasn't sure if he could label any of the adults as his friend. They were older than him and he viewed most of them as his teachers and not more. His uncle though, he came close to a father figure, but it wasn't quite like that.

“Good. I'm looking forward to it.” Gladiolus smiled and nudged Ignis shoulder with his fist gently.

He watched Gladiolus entering the classroom and greeting the other people as if he wasn't working for the crown and went through a different education and upbringing than anyone else. If he had to describe it in words, Gladiolus would have appeared as cool, easy going and the typical teenager boy, but those were words Ignis wouldn't say out loud. His eyes wandered to the group of girls who blushed and giggled when Gladiolus winked at them with a smile ~~.~~

A flirt, yes, Ignis realized that Gladiolus was a flirt and no one could blame him for that. Gladiolus simply had the looks and personality to woo women and men alike and it bothered Ignis a lot that he even thought about that. It shouldn't matter at all and something so trivial shouldn't distract him in the slightest.

Sighing he entered the classroom and looked for a seat that was not occupied by a body or a bag.

It was so weird for him to not know where his place was because inside the Citadel it was different. Ignis took his time but it was Gladiolus who interrupted his stern study and pointed at the table across from his, in the back-row, the middle one.

“That spot is free!”

Ignis nodded his thanks and busied himself to his place. He took his jacket off, unpacked all the things he needed for his first day – a notebook and several pens and pencils – and waited for the teacher to arrive while he watched the rest of the class still talking and laughing, sitting on chairs and tables – who sat down on a table if there was a free chair?

Without a word Ignis looked back down on his hands and lifted one to wipe his bangs out of his eyes. He should definitely get an haircut, he knew that but he had been so busy with so many other things – mostly worrying about his first day at a public school – and forgot all about that. There was some free time between school and going home to help Noctis with his homework. Luckily he didn't need to make an appointment with the crowns barber.

The noise died down and he watched everyone taking their place as a man – their teacher – entered the room and greeted them all after he stood behind his desk in the front. Ignis sat straight, listening when the teacher started to call out the names and nodded when the person called back with a yes. He waited for his name and when the teacher stopped for a while and looked, Ignis knew he stumbled over his.

“Ignis Scientia,” the teacher said with a smile and Ignis raised his hand announcing that he was present. “Welcome to our class. How about you introduce yourself to everyone?”

Ignis wasn't exactly fond of that idea because he didn't really want to expose himself – after two years he wouldn't see anyone but Gladiolus again. So there was no point in becoming close with anyone, was what his mind told him. But to disobey wasn't smart either so he stood up and introduced himself briefly, as he was told.

“I'm Ignis Scientia and I'm sixteen years old. I'm working for King Regis and also live inside the Citadel.” he noticed, while he spoke that literally everyone gawked at him – but Gladiolus and the teacher – as if he'd grown a second head or a third eye. Suddenly he felt exposed and wondered if there was anything wrong with the things he said or the way he looked. Was there really something on his face? But when he looked at Gladiolus and at the teacher they both didn't show anything. Maybe he read the whole situation wrong? Okay, he wasn't exactly good at reading people so... it could be that he simply misread their looks?

“Thank you, Ignis. Let's all get along, okay guys?” the teacher said and everyone made a noise of agreement.

Ignis however couldn't shake off the bad feeling right away, only when the lesson began did he find enough things to distract himself with.

During their lunch break half of the class went to the cafeteria while Ignis remained on his seat to eat his self-made lunch, while going through a report he wanted to finish reading by evening. Ignis was so absorbed in the report – what everyone else his age would have labeled as boring – that he didn't notice that three people stood in front of him and watched him.

“You're Ignis, right?” one of them asked when Ignis didn't react and he looked up when he heard his name. He closed the report, placed it under his desk, so no one would snatch it away from him, and nodded.

“Indeed. How can I help you?” he asked. God, all this small talk and dealing with people around his age wasn't easy.

“Uh... no. We don't want your help we're just... curious.” the boy with brown hair said and scratched the back of his head.

“You talk in a funny way, you know?” the girl said and smiled at him. A smile was a good thing Ignis thought so he simply shrugged.

“I've always talked like that.”

“And you always had that accent?”

“Yes.”

Ignis wondered where these questions were going but maybe they simply wanted to know more about him since he did talk differently than most people in Insomnia. His accent was a rare thing here but that never really bothered him. In fact people liked his accent and they liked to listen to him talking. Especially Noctis always said how much he liked his way of speaking – when he was younger and Ignis read to him, but today he would deny such an embarrassment.

“How come someone who isn't even from here works for the crown though? How did you do that?”

Ignis had never been good at reading people's intentions and he was no fan of ambiguity. If someone had to say something they should be straight and clear about it because he was able to come up with a thousand theories about what a person was trying to say and still could be wrong. People weren't easy, he knew that and that's why he preferred books, articles and anything that explained whatever matter without being ambiguous.

Ignis wasn't sure what to say so he decided to not answer.

“You know, we have a lot of refugees here and it's not exactly good for our home. They think they can leave their dirt everywhere.” the black haired boy said.

“I'm certainly not a refugee. I'm loyal to the crown and would never do anything to bring disgrace over the King or the Prince.” Ignis explained and noticed the change in their faces again. Did it even matter what he said? Apparently not since they seemed to be after him for whatever reason.

“You talk in a very funny way for a teenager, you know? Trying to be all grown up and better than anyone? I mean you skipped a year so you probably think you're better than the people from Insomnia, right?” the girl said with a smirk that was anything but friendly.

Ignis really didn't understand what their issue was and he had no idea how to handle the situation. He had never been confronted with such blatant racism or blind hate in the first place because it never mattered where he came from. With a final sigh he went back to his lunch and decided to ignore them until they eventually left him alone.

Although his gut feeling told him that this wasn't going to be the only time he would have to face such a behavior towards him.

 

 


	2. Puberty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Here is the link to my [Gladnis playlist on Spotify](http://skrivarmelodi.tumblr.com/post/162239125781/if-anyones-interested-here-is-a-link-to-my). While writing I'll add songs all the time which inspire me. :) Now, let's see how Ignis deals with his puberty. Hope you enjoy!

 

It wasn't like Ignis completely hated going to public school, because everything that included 'learning' was part of his interests. What he certainly didn't enjoy where the people he met there especially because young people seemed to have only three things in their minds: parties, sex and talking badly about others. And Ignis wasn't interested in any of those things.

But he was, sadly, one of their favorite topics apparently. Expect for the three idiots that called him out so bluntly about his heritage and his personality, others only gave him glances and whispered when he was close but spoke their opinions out loud when they thought he wasn't around. To say that it didn't bother him would have been a lie but Ignis, whose strength was his intelligence, knew that this was simply the stupidity of the youth who had no idea what they were actually saying or doing. They were making experience after experience, good and bad, but that didn't mean that he wanted to be the object of their gossip.

It was a whole new situation for him and he had no idea what would be the best way to handle it. Ignorance usually stopped hate, because fighting hate with hate caused only more of it and he wasn't there to fight with other people. He wasn't even there because he wanted to, but only because the King thought it could be a good idea and Ignis knew that, if he would have said no to it, King Regis would have turned that into an order. And Ignis didn't disobey his King nor the Prince.

Though, after a month, he started questioning his King's decision, wondering what the point in attending a public school – filled with racist people – actually was. He didn't need anyone to remind him about his heritage nor about how people were there. Ignis remembered it all very clearly and the letters he got from his parents – whenever they needed money – made it impossible for him to forget. He didn't want to forget because whenever he recalled the short life he had there and what it could have been like if he hadn't left, the gratefulness returned and he thanked the six Gods for the gift he had and reminded himself to work hard – but it was part of his nature to – whatever he did.

Still, even if Ignis knew the truth and even if he was able to shake most of the whispers and glances off, it still exhausted him on a new level. He was used to always feel exhausted at the end of the day, but it was the sort of exhaustion that made him feel good and like he had done something useful. That exhaustion changed and for the first time he felt like he needed to sleep through his school years and wake up on the day of his final exams and enter University right away. He would pass, he knew it, because the things he learned during the public school were nothing compared to the things he learned inside the Citadel. But here he was, and it was against his own morals and character to simply give up just because some people thought their behavior – towards him – was alright.

Ignis even considered talking to someone about it.

He could talk to King Regis, who probably wanted to know how his people behaved and what happened outside of the Citadel. He could report it to him… but if he did that it was easy to imagine that King Regis would immediately write a message and let one of his people report it to the public.

No, he couldn't do that because no one at school would believe that it was just a coincidence. They would call him a cry-baby, a snitch and laugh at him. No, that was not an option and the King's burden was already big enough.

While lying on his bed he thought about other people he could talk to, and there were a lot of options.

Monica, who always listened and helped wherever she could and was talented in so many different ways.

He could talk to the Prince but he didn't want to bother him with his concerns.

Noctis, who had no friends himself and was struggling with much more than Ignis was, didn't need another burden in his life – and it was Ignis job to make the burden less heavy.

He thought about Gladiolus who knew the public people and school longer than Ignis did and he was friends with so many people outside of the Citadel. But that somehow felt wrong.

He and Gladiolus weren't exactly friends, not really. They were similar when it came to their duty, and being loyal to the crown and to Noctis. Both of them took their roles seriously and did their best to not disappoint. But that was all that connected him to Gladiolus and some small talk, like during his first day of high school, were not enough to classify him as ‘friend’.

Then there was the fact that Ignis never found a common ground with him. First, he never had the time to get to know Gladiolus and, second, from what he heard from Noctis, there really seemed to be nothing they could share.

Gladiolus was a fighter, becoming stronger and bigger with each passing day so that he would be the perfect shield for Noctis. In his free time he wore clothes that made him look like he wasn't part of the people who worked for the crown but more like he was just another citizen of Insomnia – which wasn't a bad thing to stay in disguise but there were other ways to dress yourself, apart from hoodies and sweatpants. He had friends basically everywhere – though how deep those friendships were Ignis did not know – and he liked to flirt and go out with the others from school.

Not to forget that he and Gladiolus never really had much sympathy for the other, which wasn't surprising. They were so different in their way of life, when it came to Noctis, and also about their interests.

No, talking to Gladiolus wouldn't help him. Ignis was sure of that. And he doubted that Gladiolus would understand what it felt like to be an outsider since he was born in Insomnia and his family was a part of it, just like the royal family.

At least Ignis understood it that way, but he could be wrong – even if he didn't like to admit that.

Ignis sighed and took his glasses off to massage his tired eyes as he tried to come up with another person.

His uncle, of course.

His uncle left their home when he was young himself and started a new life in Insomnia as an adviser. Ignis wondered if he ever had to face the sort of racism he was going through and if people ever questioned how he got the job as an adviser, since he was an outsider and could be - yes, Ignis heard them saying that about him - a spy for Niflheim. Which was ridiculous in so many ways and an insult towards the King.

He sat up and looked around his bedroom, trying to find something to distract his mind but there was nothing, since Ignis always made sure to keep his apartment clean. He was a perfectionist in every way. Another sigh left his lips – he had a feeling he would sigh forever – and left his bedroom to walk to his kitchen. Recently he cooked more and more and it slowly became a hobby of him when he noticed that he had a skill for cooking. Back in his hometown they didn't have much to eat and everything they ate tasted old or like nothing at all.

From his first day in Insomnia one of the best things was that he could eat fresh food, cooked in ways he didn't know and served in combinations that seemed impossible to taste well together. When he became older and was allowed to cook himself, he realized how much he liked it and it was, if anything, his only hobby.

The little free-time he had, Ignis spent in the Citadel’skitchen, where he learned from their cook. When he got his own place he started to create his own recipes, much to Noctis liking who came over whenever Ignis created something new – though he still behaved like a kid not eating his vegetables.

He opened the drawer next to the sink and pulled out his notebook with his own recipes. No, he wasn't going to cook anything because it was simply too late for that and he needed to sleep, but reading his own notes somehow calmed him down and let a good feeling grow inside him.

 

* * *

 

When Ignis entered the classroom the next day, the view that welcomed him explained why he decided not to talk to Gladiolus. There he sat, on his chair surrounded by boys and girls and there were also the three – Alina, Bennet and Kenneth – who had confronted Ignis. But that didn't concern him as much as the fact that Gladiolus was actually hanging out with them.

Did he know what they thought about refugees? Did he not realize that they were bad, close minded people and basically questioned the King, even though he was the kindest and yet strongest person Ignis knew? Didn't people say to chose your friends wisely? Because if Gladiolus was friends with those people what did that say about Gladiolus himself?

Ignis had valid doubts that Gladiolus supported their point of view, after all his family worked for the King and his father wasn't racist. Clarus had never shown any sort of dislike towards Ignis, in fact, he had always treated him like a son and worked with refugees himself, since the Kingsglaive wasn't exactly filled with people from Insomnia.

Or maybe Gladiolus entered his rebellious phase?

He stood there, racking his brain, going through each possible explanation without moving at all. Until Gladiolus voice dragged him out of it.

“Hey, Iggy! What are you thinking about? Must be something complicated because you face looks like you're in pain.”

He stood right in front of Ignis, his big hands reaching out for his head and making a mess of his combed, light brown hair.

“It's Ignis, not Iggy.” Ignis said and fixed his hair.

“Hey, come on. Friends give each other nicknames all the time.”

Friends, huh.

The words 'We are not friends' were at the top of his tongue but he swallowed them down and tried to look indifferent. It was one thing for Noctis to give him weird nicknames – like Specs or even ‘mum’ when Ignis lectured him – because it didn't bother Ignis at all. Though, when it came to Gladiolus he couldn't help himself but keep the distance between themselves alive. Nicknames meant being close to a person, he reasoned.

“The lesson is about to start, Gladiolus,” he said as he walked past him to take his seat.

Gladiolus didn't say anything else but Ignis watched him scratching the back of his head and sighing as if he didn't know what he did wrong. No word left his mouth when he looked back to the front as their teacher entered the room.

 

* * *

 

May passed by and Ignis managed to keep the distance between him and his classmates most of the time. Occasionally he would help someone with their homework because that, he could handle, and the people who asked him weren't one of those who whispered about him or gave him weird looks. They were students who wanted to have good marks and leave the school with good grades so they could attend a good university. Helping them to understand a certain topic or issue was one thing, but when they started the so called 'small talk' Ignis was at a loss. Small talk wasn't exactly one of his strengths and the little voice in his head warned him to still keep his distance. There was no point in getting close with anyone outside the Citadel.

“What's up, Specs? You've been spacing out lately,” Noctis said as he looked up from his homework while Ignis – in fact – spent the time the Prince was busy, by looking out of the window. He missed the view of the cherry trees which blossomed at the beginning of April.

“I'm certainly not spacing out, Your Highness. Are you done with your tasks?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Noctis groaned and handed Ignis the paper he was working on.

Noctis was a 13 years old, behaving like a 13 year old – even though it didn't go unnoticed that he still was different, since he was a prince and his upbringing was different – but his marks were more than good. Noctis was smart and had much depth but refused to show it and he struggled with his own little demons.

And one of those things he struggled with was making friends.

Unlike Ignis, who simply refused to be friends with people outside the Citadel, Noctis did want to have friends.

But not simply anyone.

As a prince – and people knew he was the Prince – everyone wanted to have a bit of him and most of them cared about his status, his looks but not about who he was as a person. Ignis wasn't sure if Noctis simply felt that or knew it, but he didn't like to see him so lonely.

“As usual, you did good, Noctis,” Ignis said after he handed him the piece of paper back.

“Don't call me Noctis, Ignis. You sound like my dad,” Noctis pouted.

“It's the proper way to address you.”

“Yeah, Gladio said that when he said to call him Gladio, you said the same thing. But, we're friends so it's alright for you to call me Noct, isn't it?”

Friends, there it was again. The word he couldn't understand and something he didn't know how it worked. It was like someone asked him to fix a bicycle while he had no idea how to do that. The word slowly got on his nerves but he couldn't disagree to what Noctis said and, even though they both probably didn't fully understand what 'being friends' meant, Ignis voiced his agreement.

“Of course we are.”

“Good,” Noctis said and smiled as he leaned back on his chair. “Then I order you to call me Noct from now on.”

“Anytime?” Ignis asked because imagining he would address the Prince like that in front of everyone else – even the King – made his hands sweaty.

“Anytime,” Noctis grinned at him and seeing that carefree expression was enough for Ignis to agree – and it didn't fill him with pride for being so weak towards the Prince but he wanted him to be happy.

“Very well. Now, we should go because it's time for your training with Gladiolus.” Ignis announced going through his schedule on his phone.

“You mean Gladio, don't you Ignis?” Noctis said with that same cocky grin.

“I beg your pardon?”

“We're friends so it's just right to call him Gladio, right?

Ignis wanted to inform the Prince that he and Gladiolus were not friends but he couldn't figure out how Noctis would react to that. What if it was Noctis wish that the three of them were friends – though Ignis knew it was a childish wish because if he and Gladiolus didn't get along because of chemistry or whatever it was, he couldn't force them. But it wasn't like he disliked Gladiolus. He simply didn't understand him.

“I suppose,” Ignis said instead of declining something that wasn't exactly true either. Maybe they would become friends, maybe not, but they would always be connected since Noctis was their responsibility. He couldn't – logically – be on bad terms with Gladiolus and harm the future King because of personal issues.

“Awesome,” Noctis smiled and together they left his room and made their way to the training hall.

All the way there Ignis, rather unconsciously, started to fix his hair – making sure the bangs over his forehead were in place and that his glasses sat right just like his black vest over his white shirt – and hoped that Noctis wouldn't drag him into a situation that forced Ignis to call them by their nicknames. Luckily he had met Gladiolus this morning so he wouldn't need to greet him.

The closer they came the more nervous Ignis became but he didn't know why and it made no sense at all - and that was what annoyed him the most if he was honest with himself.

Noctis opened the door and greeted Gladiolus while walking into the changing room. Ignis watched the Prince go and then looked over to the shield, gulping when he watched him practicing with a sword and the way his body moved.

Ignis had seen Gladiolus so many times practicing alone and with Noctis, but he never paid much attention to the way his body changed since it wasn't anything unusual. As a shield he needed to be strong, to train every single muscle of his body and be bigger than the Prince in order to protect him from any harm. Especially since Noctis was the chosen King. But all of that left his mind and he couldn't stop staring at Gladiolus arms – and he could see the muscles flex since he only wore a black tank top -, his broad shoulders and back and imagine things he had never imagined before.

Like being held by those arms.

The moment the image struck his head he froze on the spot, while his heart hammered against his throat and a cold shiver went down his spine. Though, soon, it was replaced with a hot, unfamiliar feeling which filled his body first and then went south to an area Ignis – to this point – never really paid much attention to. His cheeks became hotter, his whole body seemed to become more and more sweaty and sensitive the longer he looked at Gladiolus.

Somehow he managed to shake himself out from his stare and only then noticed how his usually even breathing had become rather unsteady and his pants a bit tighter than usual. He turned around quickly, holding his notebook down with both hands to hide his front so no one could see his obvious arousal, and his head down to hide his burning face.

If someone saw Ignis and his rather small body no one would have said that he was strong or especially gifted when it came to sports. But he could run and he knew, one day, he would need to learn how to fight and defend himself – especially since the relationship with Niflheim wasn't exactly good and the Kingdom needed to be prepared and so did its people. That's why he started to run - at least three days a week - early in the morning when his schedule wasn't too tight.

His planning ahead turned out to be convenient for him because he arrived in his room without anyone asking embarrassing questions or seeing something that wasn't meant to be seen by anyone. Hell, it wasn't even meant to happen in the first place. However, here he was, leaning against the closed front door of his apartment and looking down on himself. In the past 15 years he had never experienced that kind of feeling and his body had never reacted in the way it did now. It didn't really scare him to feel the way he did, but it confused him more than anything and he wanted to get rid of that feeling as fast as possible.

Because, beside the confusion and the weird warmth he felt, Ignis hated to lose control over anything and especially himself. His strength was reason, composure, and his clear mind, which connected everything with logic and helped him to come up with the best possible solution or way to do anything. Feelings, unreasonable behavior, illogicality, made him feel uncomfortable and upset him more than he was ready to admit.

As he made his way to the bathroom he wished that he could simply jump puberty and become an adult right this instant. He wished for his body to become an adult one because he understood that, all the things his body were going through, had the hormone to blame.

And he loathed it.

His breathing was still fast and his mind still punishing him with images of Gladiolus body and making his arousal more obvious and more painful. For once he tried to not think but focus on undressing, turning on the shower and handle the state his body was in. Ignis doubted that the cold water would help him much but his body was basically burning and he sighed when it finally poured down on his naked body, though it didn't help with his hard on. There it stood, proudly between his legs and begging for any sort of friction. It almost felt like his own body was mocking him as if it knew how much he hated to not be in control.

Yet, when Ignis finally pushed his refusal aside and decided it was better to take care of it instead, he couldn't deny the fact that it felt good to touch his cock. A moan escaped from his lips, a different kind of shiver went through his body and his thoughts got kicked by the sheer feeling of arousal. It was such a primal feeling, without any reason nor sense but just to make him feel good for the time being. He still felt slightly uncomfortable and he still tried to have some sort of control over the situation but it was hard to remain a reasonable man when he started to move his hand.

One moan after the other left his mouth and he needed to lean his hand against the tiles followed by his forehead in order not to fall. The argument happening in his mind - between stopping and continuing and reach his orgasm - was like a storm mercilessly raging as it pleased and then it got replaced by the source of his state.

Gladiolus.

Strong arms, broad back and shoulders, eyes like brown liquid Ignis had never tasted before... all of that was enough to make him spill in his hand and against the tiles. As his orgasm washed over him, turning his mind blank and making him bite his lower lip as lewd noises left his mouth, he eventually couldn't stand anymore and slit down on his knees – somehow he found the little reason that remained inside him to turn the water off.

It was the first time Ignis jerked off and experienced arousal and when he realized why his face became aflame and his heart started to beat in an odd rhythm, the confusion that seemed to have no mercy with him at all, almost brought tears into his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Ignis was glad that when he woke up the next morning, his head didn't hurt and that his mind seemed to be back in its clear state. At least most of it because he couldn't help himself but actually think about the previous day and if it meant anything. His body was going through puberty and reacting naturally, that he understood. But why did it react after he'd seen Gladiolus – and the view really was nothing new to him - was bothering him.

Was he attracted to Gladiolus? No, it couldn't be. And not only because Ignis thought they didn't fit but because it could cause so much more trouble for the King and the Prince.

Was he attracted to men in general? He hoped it was the latter because it made no sense why he should be attracted to Gladiolus. Otherwise his body would have reacted way sooner, right? Maybe it was simply a natural reaction from his body because he liked men who were strong, taller than him with fine, defined muscles and…No! He needed to stop thinking and imagining because the warmth was starting to grow again and he really had no time for that.

He fixed himself breakfast and lunch for the day and went through his schedule on his phone. His eyebrows raised in surprise when he noticed that he had the weekend off. Free time was a rare thing for him and it wasn't like they gave him too much to do and he never felt like he couldn't breath, but a free weekend meant he could cook for hours or go to the impressive library the Citadel had. He wasn't sure if he believed in fate or not, but he was relieved to have the weekend for himself so he could do what he enjoyed the most.

Yes, even Ignis Scientia, the gifted kid, needed a break from everything, especially after what happened yesterday.

He just needed to get through this day and somehow avoid Gladiolus but something told him that he wouldn't have that much luck. Maybe it would even be better to simply face Gladiolus and find an answer for what happened to his body the previous day. Maybe he should pay attention to other men as well and see if his body would react – and there were enough guys who were build almost like Gladiolus was.

Ignis nodded to himself while finishing his breakfast. Yes, he would find his answers today and tomorrow he would use his free days productively.

On his way to school Ignis kept a closer look to the people around him and waited for his body to react whenever a man, who had a similar body as Gladiolus, fell into his view. It was a natural part of him to pay close attention to his surroundings but actually looking at a man and his physical appearance was new for Ignis and making him feel as if he was doing something bad.

It was wrong to reduce a person to their appearance but it was natural to feel attracted and also to not feel attracted at all.

To his relief his body did react whenever he saw a man taller and more muscular than him, but to his disappointment his body never reacted as fiercely as the day before. Well, most men were older than Ignis, so maybe it had something to do with that.

When he arrived at the school building the same thing happened. His body did give some weird signals since he was aware of his attraction but it was basically nothing compared to what he went through.

While he walked to his classroom Ignis couldn't stop thinking about that and it bothered him that he couldn't come up with an answer. It bothered him that he knew so little about feelings, about feeling stuff and friendship and all of that. He still didn't want to become friends with anyone outside the Citadel and he still believed that feelings were unreasonable and not good for his position as the future adviser.

But how was he supposed to come up with an answer if he didn't know most of the feelings and how was he supposed to control something he had no control over? If he was attracted to someone he couldn't do anything against it and if he didn't like something he couldn't do anything against that either. The conclusion was that feelings were a burden and controlling them would be like trying to keep the rain from falling.

Ignis sighed, feeling a headache trying to bother him but all of that was forgotten when he entered the classroom and saw the guy responsible for the state he had been in, sitting on his chair and smiling all wide and carefree at him. There it was, the feeling he had been waiting for to happen. But this time he was ready and managed to keep it down so he wouldn't spend the day with an hard on.

“Good morning Iggy,” Gladiolus said cheerful.

“It's Ignis,” he corrected him, _again_.

“Yeah? I thought Prince Charmless gave you the order to use nicknames,” Gladiolus said with a knowing grin on his handsome face. Oh, okay, he shouldn't think that Gladiolus was handsome because the same person spent his time with racist people.

“The Prince isn't here,” Ignis reasoned though guilt still found its way inside him. Disobeying was not his strength, he knew that, but getting closer to Gladiolus was something he couldn't let happen.

“Oh? Who knew you would disobey him.”

“I'm not... disobeying. I told you that-”

“Hey, relax. It's alright I won't tell our spoiled Prince about that. Don't worry. You can do whatever you want, remember? Being rebellious isn't bad. It's healthy I'd say.”

Whatever he wanted? Right.

He wanted to leave this building and finally welcome his free weekend so he could cook and read and forget about everything else for a while.

“Right. However, is there a reason why you're occupying my seat?” Ignis asked, wanting to get over with this conversation as soon as possible.

“I actually wanted to talk to you.”

Ignis stopped breathing for a moment and his mind came up with so many scenarios about Gladiolus knowing about his private time inside his shower. Though there was no logical way he could know about it, Ignis still went through the past day in his mind just to be sure he didn't miss anything. But the only thing that happened, and Ignis was certain about, was that his cheeks turned red and he hoped he could blame the heat for that if Gladiolus would mention it.

“About what?” he eventually asked because there was no possible way Gladiolus knew anything at all.

“There is a festival tonight and we wanted to go there to eat and have some fun together. No alcohol though, so you won't break any laws,” Gladiolus told him. “I think it will be good for you to join us.”

“Why would it be good for me?” Ignis asked skeptically. Why would he want to go out with a bunch of people when half of them showed their dislike towards him simply because he wasn't from Insomnia nor behaving as everyone else his age did?

“To make friends? To live a little? Whenever I see you you're either studying or working and I've never seen you having fun with others. All you do is work, and that can't be healthy. But, also, I do notice how hard it is for you to find your place here,” Gladiolus explained and surprised Ignis in a good and a bad way.

The good thing was that Gladiolus probably paid far more attention towards Ignis than he was aware of and he liked that thought. It was... a flattering feeling that someone who was not blood related nor part of his responsibility seemed to care about him. But the bad thing was that Gladiolus thought he knew what Ignis needed. Which wasn't the case at all because Ignis knew best what he wanted and needed and what not.

“I do have fun. What makes you think I don't?”

“Well, I get the impression that work is all you live for so I assumed you never went out with anyone nor have any hobbies.”

“I do have hobbies, thank you very much,” Ignis said and he didn't like the sharp note in his voice. He didn't want to snap at Gladiolus, who seemed to be concerned about Ignis.

“Yeah? What are they?”

“Reading.”

Gladiolus snorted and shook his head. “Don't tell me you actually enjoy reading about politics and stuff in your free time.”

“No.”

“Okay, anything else?” Gladiolus asked and stood up from the chair.

Ignis shrugged because he didn't want to admit that he liked cooking. Not because he was embarrassed about it but he didn't want to get too close to Gladiolus before he hadn't found a way to control his feelings. Because the more they talked and the longer Ignis was allowed to look at this face and those eyes, his heart started to beat so fast and strong that he was scared someone could have heard it.

These feelings were like poison for his mind and the needed to be composed at any time. He wished there was a spell or a switch to turn them all off but some things would always be impossible.

If he could only... Right! That was it! If he couldn't control his feelings he could, at least, suppress them and hide them deep inside within himself. Yes, he could do that, he had always done that. He just needed time to figure out how to do it since the feelings were much stronger than anything else he had ever felt before.

“Okay, so what do you say about joining us?”

“I'm not interested,” Ignis refused right away but Gladiolus wasn't just strong and confident, he could also be pretty stubborn – Ignis knew that since he rarely let Noctis get away with anything.

“How do you know though? Have you ever been out to a festival with a bunch of people who aren't working for the King?”

Ignis didn't answer because Gladiolus probably knew that, no, he never had been out with anyone just to have fun. The only adventurous and Not-Ignis-like thing he did, was sneaking out with the Prince and protecting him or taking the blame whenever he followed his childish instincts and explored the world in his unique way.

“Come on, Ignis. I'd like it if you went with us. I'll even pick you up if you're too scared or nervous.”

The words were causing a weird ringing in Ignis ears that shut out the rest of the world as he slowly understood what Gladiolus actually said. Well, maybe he wanted it to mean exactly that but it didn't matter in that moment. Gladiolus said he would like it if Ignis went with them and he said he'd pick him up like... on a date? The idea caused another new wave of positive emotions that confused Ignis all over again and pushed away all his reason as to why he shouldn't go. Valid reasons for that matter. However, Ignis mouth – for the first time – was a bit faster than his mind, but before a word could fall from his lips, Gladiolus gave him the best excuse and reason to agree.

“Noct hopes you'll go. He's worried about you and that you might feel lonely.”

It did warm Ignis heart to hear that the Prince was worried about him and he knew that this was a thing Noctis could have said. He remembered the day when Noctis asked him where his family was and, when Ignis told him about his family and his home, the Prince cried so hard Ignis couldn't calm him down. So he ended up crying himself because that situation had been too much to handle for him. He had been 9 at the time and Noctis 7 and it was King Regis who managed to calm them down - and Gladiolus who babysit the both when the King had to leave.

“Pulling the Noctis card isn't exactly fair, you know?”

“I know. Did it work though?”

“Certainly,” Ignis agreed. “But you don't need to pick me up. Just tell me where the place is and I'll be there. Though I might arrive a bit late.”

“That's alright,” Gladiolus beamed at him and for the first time Ignis felt the need to slap someone's face just for that grin - which caused his body to react in this newfound way, that wasn't meant for any public display – to disappear.

“Though I might drag your ass there if you don't come, got that?”

“Very well,” Ignis said and watching Gladiolus being this happy made him happy too.

Though Ignis was no fool and kept his poker face on.

Which he also mastered in.  
  


 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate feedback! :) Let me know what you think and thank you for reading!


	3. Changes

 

Ignis packed his things once the lesson was over and used that time to watch Gladiolus, who was talking to some classmates. He couldn't hear what they were talking about and it wasn't important actually, he only noticed the fact that they could keep up this sort of small talk. During the day, while knowing that he would join his classmates for dinner, he watched them all carefully and tried to learn how to hold small talk. He tried to figure out what the hot topic was, planningto research about that before going out with them so he wouldn't come across as too boring or too grown up.

It annoyed him that he was starting to put so much effort into something he wasn't interested in. But the reason why he was doingit, annoyed him even more. He was doing it all so Gladiolus wouldn't regret inviting him and in order to not ruin the evening. Maybe he should smile more? Maybe he should simply laugh even if he didn't understand a joke? Why was he so eager to fit in, in the first place?

Ignis shook his head and made his way home without waiting for anyone. Noctis did ask him sometimes why he and Gladiolus never went to school and came back home together, since they were in the same class. Ignis had shrugged and said he still had a different schedule, which wasn't a lie. But Ignis wasn't used to something like that,since he did most things on his own, without anyone to accompany or help him.

When evening arrived Ignis finally made it into his apartment and pulled out his phone to read the address where the festival took place. Then he went into his bedroom and opened his closet and grimaced. What did a person wear for a festival? Did he even had any casual clothes? It was hot so he pulled out a simple short sleeved white shirt and black shorts – he didn't even know he owned things like that, but he was grateful he did.

Mentally he went through his list of things he needed to get done before leaving and when he realized there was nothing that could hold him in his apartment a bit longer, he felt his stomach weirdly twisting. The whispers and the bullying from certain school mates hadn't stopped, and he knew those people would be there as well. He also wondered what their connection to Gladiolus was – although he wished Gladiolus didn't believe nor agreed to what they said about Ignis. Of course he didn't know and it wasn't like he wanted to run away from a bunch of stupid young people who knew nothing.

If he started to shy away now from something so trivial how was he supposed to be braver and more focused when Noctis would be king? He couldn't start doing that now or it would become a part of him that was inconvenient in so many ways. But the difference simply was that inside the Citadel people respected him, liked him, supported him and never ever judged him for his roots.

Yet, most of all, he wanted to be around Gladiolus for a bit longer and meeting with everyone else wouldn't cause questions or people to believe whatever they wanted to believe. Because, no, they still weren't friends and no, he didn't understand the way he felt yet. So, in order to know more and find the answers he needed, Ignis reasoned that spending more time around Gladiolus would help him to achieve that.

 

* * *

 

It didn't take long for Ignis to arrive at the center of the city where most bars and restaurants were. Now there was also a park decorated for the summer festival and he watched the people walk, talk and dance to the music from a band that was performing on a stage in the middle of the park. It was still early and the sky was only beginningto slowly turn from blue to orange. What people liked about parties and festivals Ignis didn't understand, because the balls inside the Citadel were much different.

Everyone was dressed in their best clothes, classic music played in the background and servants holding trays with drinks and food walked through the mass of people and asked if they needed or wanted something. It was his world, the one he felt comfortable in and got used to, so this rather easy-going event was new and he took his time to take it all in.

Maybe Gladiolus was right and he should go out more and learn about the life outside the Citadel, since Noctis was part of it as well. Somehow he realized that he had been selfish, hadn't he?

Just because he wasn't exactly interested in this sort of free activity didn't mean Noctis wasn't. He and Ignis were very different and, as the Prince, he was far more easy going and eager to become part of a normal life than Ignis was. So it was only logical and the right thing to do to learn about this life and make his experience so he could, if that ever happened - but Ignis hoped it wouldn't - help Noctis and give him the advice and support he would need. May it be suggesting a good bar to dance in or a good restaurant or a place where he could go on a date with someone.

Ignis sighed as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses. Right, how did he forget about that? Perhaps because Noctis was still a child and he wouldn't want to go out in the next 2 to 3 years anyway. But by that time Ignis would graduate and he doubted that he would have enough time to make this trivial research later,since he was going to attend university. Though, considering that Noctis had his own issues with showing and understanding feelings and making friends, it was no surprise Ignis never considered any of those things.

No, he needed to be ready just in case and if it meant he could spend more time with Gladiolus while doing his research, it was a win win situation, wasn't it?

He stopped walking when he found Gladiolus and their classmates sitting around a long table and waiting for their food to be served. Slowly he made his way to the nearby tree so he could watch them for a while longer and listen to what they were talking about. The word King's Knight – a mobile phone game he eventually learned – and their fast approaching summer break where the hot topics. But Ignis was busy with watching Gladiolus laughing, smiling and not holding back with his charm.

What did he want though? Why did Ignis want to be close to Gladiolus even though he decided to ignore his feelings? He still didn't plan to get close to anyone because he didn't want to deal with closed minded people and racist comments but... he wanted and needed to understand, if not for himself, for Noctis. Relationships were important and having a good one with all the other nations even more. How was he supposed to give the right advice if he didn't even understand the basics of a friendship?

The headache he had been fighting all day long, threatened to come back and it annoyed him even more. However, there was no way he would run away since he said he would come. And Ignis was a man of his words.

“Hey, didn't you invite four-eyes?” Ignis heard Bennet saying and stopped in his tracks.

“Who are you talking about?” Gladiolus asked while drinking a sip of water.

“You know, what's his name. Egnis?”

“Ignis,” Gladiolus corrected Bennet and Ignis didn't move at all. He had a feeling where this was going and he decided to get to know the truth now. It was better than joining them and become a burden for Gladiolus or get hurt himself.

“Right. So, did you?”

“I did but he said he'll be here a bit later since he has a lot to do,” Gladiolus shrugged.

“Yeah? I wonder how he managed to get to work for the crown though. It's no secret that people with his accent come from poor and dirty places,” Alina shared with a shrug as if she wasn't feeling guilty at all. “They are thieves, maybe even spies working for Niflheim and more and more of those people come here, dirtying our beautiful city we've been defending for so long.”

“Yeah, they shouldn't be living with us and spread their diseases all over the city,” Kenneth agreed and Ignis had enough. No one disagreed, no one said anything against it and it was like they all silently agreed, even Gladiolus. Which hurt Ignis the most, considering that Clarus was his father and Clarus never said anything remotely bad about the refugees or people which family didn't had its roots in Insomnia.

Gladiolus just sat there, sipping his water and never said nor did anything.

Right, Ignis thought, he had a bad feeling right from the first day of school and he was sure that it would have something to do with his classmates who found a certain kind of joy in harassing him and his heritage. But he had been wrong, for the first time in his life Ignis had been wrong about something he had been so sure about.

Some battles weren't worth fighting for, and some battles shouldn’t even start and Ignis decided to not start it now. These feelings he had inside him – and he had no idea for how long they already existed – just began to grow and to reach his consciousness. He never got a taste of the strong arms or the feel of skin under his fingertips. No, he still could control this feeling and push it away, far away so it would never ever stand in his way and his duty.

He walked home and thought about Noctis and what he could do instead to give him advice whenever he decided to go out when he was older. Right, Ignis didn't need to participate in any sort of get together, he could go out on his own, get to know bars and restaurants and watch people have a good time like any other 'normal' person did. He didn't need Gladiolus for that nor did he need to know firsthand what it felt like to be friends with anyone. He had read enough books about love and friendship, revenge and war, sadness and happiness to give good advice.

And he could read even more if necessary.

Yes, he was certain that would be enough.

However... the moment he was safely inside his apartment, doors and windows closed so no one could see him nor get inside, Ignis slumped down on his couch and couldn't stop the tears from falling.

 

* * *

 

Dirty, that's what he thought when he was little and still lived with his parents. Dark, dirty, poor and exhausting were the words he used to describe his home, although he had never seen anything to compare his home with. All he had were the stories told by his uncle about Insomnia and the only book he owned about a boy who tried to save his sick sister.

But his home was not just dirty. It was also filled with stubborn people who hated everything and everyone that was better and bigger than them. They didn't believe in the six Gods nor did they liked King Regis or any other empire. It was a place filled with stubborn and closed minded people and they made it harder for those who left, to start a new life somewhere else. Ignis had read about the past of his home and understood that some people disliked them. But when he asked his uncle if this hate was still the case, he said it became much less. That's why he believed no one would ever judge him for his accent and his roots. But exceptions were everywhere, right?

Ignis felt anger rising inside him after he cried out his pain and then he got upset for these unreasonable thoughts. It were young people saying all those stupid things and it shouldn't bother him at all. And it didn't, not really. It was the image of Gladiolus sitting with them and saying nothing but, apparently, silently agreeing. Maybe he did it because he wanted to belong? But why would someone who had Clarus Amicitia and the whole Crown’s guard behind his back agree to something so obviously ridiculous?

Ignis sighed and cursed the feelings he had. He would just wait until those feelings would slowly die, because that would happen, he was sure of that. As soon as his body was no longer a victim of puberty he would have full control over himself.

Determined to ignore the idiots – as he liked to label them in his mind – Ignis walked to his bathroom to wash his face and go to bed early. There was a book waiting for him to be read and a whole weekend he would spend cooking and reading. No babysitting the Prince, no complicated reports to read, no racists to deal with.

The sound of someone knocking against his door stopped him from entering his bedroom and when he looked at his watch he could only guess who it was. Maybe it was his uncle who wanted to make sure Ignis was doing fine or remind him of his weekend off. Maybe it was Noctis who was running away from whatever responsibility or feeling bad and looked for comfort – which Ignis gave him since the day they met. But it was someone else and when Ignis opened the door and met the brown, beautiful eyes, his mouth hung open slightly.

“Hey, you alright? I wanted to call you but I don't have your number,” Gladiolus said after he simply stared at Ignis for a while. Oh, right, his eyes must have been still red from all the embarrassing crying he couldn't stop from happening.

“I'm just tired,” Ignis used as an excuse and wished for his heart to stop jumping just because Gladiolus was around.

“Long day? That's why you didn't come?”

“You could say that.”

Silence filled the distance between them and Ignis looked down, which wasn't exactly a wise decision. His eyes, unconsciously, took Gladiolus whole frame in and the feeling started to grow again, driving Ignis crazy. Why was this happening? What did it even mean? Why did he have to deal with something like that?

“Are you really okay, Iggy? You don't look too good.”

When Ignis looked back up to see Gladiolus expression, he almost believed that the obvious concern he showed and the way his eyes looked at him, as if he was trying to honestly read Ignis, were honest. He wanted it to be honest and his gut feeling told him that Gladiolus was not a bad guy, he couldn't be. Though his mind showed him what he had seen hours ago and Ignis didn't understand his heart nor his gut. He always trusted his mind and so he did this time.

“It's Ignis. And you can give your racist friends nicknames all you want, but I'm not your friend.”

His heart started to hurt but Ignis ignored it. Every feeling, everything that made no sense got blocked out instantly.

“I don't understand. What do you mean?”

Was he for real? Gladiolus sat with those people and listened to what they had to say about Ignis and now he was pretending as if he didn't know what he was talking about?

Ignis sighed and shook his head. No, it was definitely better to draw a line now and end this mess, otherwise he could never be the adviser Noctis needed nor could Gladiolus be the shield to protect him. That was their duty, that was all that would matter and nothing else.

“Nothing. Just... leave me alone,” Ignis said and closed the door slowly, without force, without anger. Yes, this was the right way to handle this situation, his mind agreed.

But his heart... his stupid heart did not.

 

* * *

 

Gladiolus did what Ignis asked him for.

He left him alone and everything seemed to go back to how it used to be. They would greet each other whenever they crossed paths, talk about Noctis' development and followed their duties. It was exactly what Ignis wanted and needed. Though school didn't change much.

Alina, Bennet and Kenneth still thought it was funny to remind Ignis about his 'dirty family' whenever it was just the four of them, but that, Ignis managed to ignore. Whatever they thought and believed didn't matter because he only needed the approval of the King and his people. Though he wondered sometimes if it was the right thing to do. But what should he say against the truth? No, it was better to ignore them and wait until he graduated from school.

Luckily summer break approached fast and Ignis was relieved to not see anyone for the next six weeks. Also, not facing Gladiolus on a daily basis was a reason for his relief because, even though he managed to push his feelings aside, his mind still mocked him and came up with images of him, recalling Gladiolus voice and making it hard for Ignis to sleep until he took care of his obvious issue. He was young and if Gladiolus was what his fantasy came up with – instead of someone famous – he couldn't do much against it.

It was the beginning of August and everyone was busy with preparing everything for the ball. King Regis invited people from Accordo and Lucis to create new and stronger bonds with those who were still free from Niflheim's claws. The peace that was created many years ago slowly threatened to break. No one knew when, but it was certain that it would happen. So it was only logical that King Regis was trying to find more allies outside of Insomnia, and the guards around the wall which protected Insomnia, increased for that event.

Everyone felt that something was happening and Ignis had never been busier in his life. It was the first time a ball that big happened so it was a whole new experience for him. King Regis took his son everywhere and taught him what was important – manners, speeches, decorations, everything – and Ignis stood right next to him, taking notes while the Prince seemed to have little interested in such a political meeting. Ignis couldn't really blame him because even though Noctis was the Prince, he was also a 13 year old boy who would prefer to play and explore the city.

But he did good and Ignis felt proud of him.

Two days before the ball took place, King Regis showed Noctis how to greet the guests and where Gladiolus should stand when he did so. Yes, Gladiolus was with them and Ignis was calm from the outside but his insides decided to act in a different way. His heartbeat was fast, pumping blood so he almost couldn't hear anything and his body became a bit warmer whenever he looked over at Gladiolus, dressed in his black uniform, hair short but longer on the top and he was probably one of those people who only needed to run his fingers through his hair, and it would look like someone actually put effort into styling it.

Even after all these weeks his feelings didn't disappear.

Ignis looked whenever he was sure no one noticed but most of the time he watched the Prince and wrote down all the things the King told him – because Noctis would forget half of it anyway.

When they were done Ignis closed his notebook and smiled a bit when Noctis only mumbled something under his breath about how boring all of this was. When he looked back up to watch the King leave, his eyes found Gladiolus' and he realized that he had been watching him and probably saw him smiling. It wasn't like Ignis never smiled. He did, but rarely around anyone but Noctis and mainly when he was alone enjoying a book or cooking.

“Ignis-” Gladiolus started and it was the first time since he told him to leave him alone, that Gladiolus addressed him directly without being in a situation where they had to interact.

“I'm sorry, I have to take care of Noctis,” Ignis said. No, he didn't want to talk to Gladiolus, especially not when the Prince was around.

He and Noctis walked to the elevators in silence and only after they entered Noctis' room he asked the question Ignis was waiting for. The Prince was young, yes, but he cared and noticed even though he didn't come across like that.

“Are you and Gladio fighting?”

Ignis went to the closet to take out the suit Noctis would wear in two days because he needed to make sure that it still fit or in case it didn't, if something needed to be fixed. Noctis had a talent for losing buttons and being a bit careless with his clothes in general – so Ignis taught himself how to sew.

“Not really,” Ignis answered and for him this conversation was over, but not for the Prince.

“Really? Gladio told me that you ignore him but I'm sure he did something,” Noctis shrugged and took his shirt off when Ignis made a gesture with his hand to signal that.

“It's nothing, really. We don't share the same opinion about a certain matter. Nothing you should be concerned about, Your Highness,” Ignis assured him, handing him his black button down.

Noctis nodded and said nothing for a while but Ignis could see right through him. He simply learned to read Noctis during the past ten years and the Prince, no matter how much he tried to hide that he cared and felt, let Ignis see it when he couldn't handle it on his own. He helped Noctis get dressed, checked the buttons and the hem and to his relief he didn't find anything that needed to be fixed – maybe it was a sign that Noctis was slowly growing up and cared more about his own belongings.

“Why is it so hard to make friends though? I understand that you and Gladio are different but is that a reason why we can't be friends with someone? You and I are also different but we're still friends,” Noctis said while Ignis fixed his collar.

“Do you want us to get along?” Ignis asked and if Noctis would order that, he was certain he would try. It wasn't in his nature to say no to Noctis.

“I wish? I mean... you both have been with me since I can remember and you both will be at my side, right? Gladio is my shield and you're my adviser but... you're also my friends and I don't want to see you... unhappy because you don't get along but have to because of me,” Noctis explained with a rather grumpy expression because he didn't want to open up like that.

Unhappy? Did Ignis look unhappy? Did Gladiolus look unhappy because they weren't talking more than necessary? Was it so obvious or was it just Noctis who noticed it? Ignis felt a new kind of panic rise inside him feeling that his poker-face was maybe starting to crumble because of irrational feelings he managed to control, but sometimes his young soul and body failed him.

“I think it's a thing of the youth. We'll grow out of it when we get older,” Ignis tried to reassure the Prince and that was what he believed. Maybe, when he and Gladiolus would become older they both would have the experience and knowledge to put their personal issues and feelings about certain things, aside entirely.

Noctis looked at him as if he didn't understand what Ignis was trying to say and, to be fair, how was he supposed to react when he didn't know what happened. Not that Ignis planned on telling him because it was nothing the Prince or the King should be worried about. He could handle it by himself.

“Don't worry about that, Noctis. It'll be alright.”

 

* * *

 

The ball was, as Ignis expected, visited by many people and filling the Citadel with life. Not that it was empty per se but compared to any other day tonight was different. He stood next to Noctis, watching him carefully as he greeted the people, together with his father, and nodded whenever the Prince turned around to make sure he did okay. After Ignis approval he would smile wide, proud of himself – a rare view, and Ignis took much pride himself when it happened. Gladiolus stood between Ignis and his father, not moving but carefully watching the people to make sure there was no threat for the Prince, just like Clarus did for King Regis.

Soon they all gathered together in a huge hall where, along the walls and windows, were tables filled with food and drinks, an orchestra was set on a stage at end of the hall, in front of the stage enough space to dance, and tables and chairs so people could rest. Ignis watched the groups of politics – he knew most of them from pictures – talking about something rather lighthearted. He watched the King talking to the First Secretary of Accordo and other politics from there – it also seemed to be a rather lighthearted topic.

Noctis however was busy eating and listening to the other kids talking about politics. Ignis was relieved that Noctis did not forget about his manners and though he must have been bored, he managed to hide it most of the time. Because Noctis did not want to disappoint his father and tried hard to make him proud. With a content smile Ignis looked down at the glass in his hand and took a sip from his orange juice while the ball continued.

“Ignis,” he heard the voice of Gladiolus before he noticed his body standing in front of him. The sigh that tried to crawl up his throat and leave his mouth got swallowed and he looked up, knowing very well that he could not cause a scene now.

“Gladiolus,” he nodded slowly and watched his face with an raised eyebrow. Behind Gladiolus he could see Clarus glaring at the back of his son's head as if he just lectured him about something and then he looked at Gladiolus face who seemed to have some sort of inner conflict as he tried to come up with words.

“I need to talk to you,” Gladiolus finally said.

“I don't think this is the right place to do so,” Ignis used as an excuse.

“No, this is the right time and place because any other time you'll ignore me,” Gladiolus reasoned and he did have a point.

“I have my reasons and you should know them,” Ignis said and looked him straight in the eyes as if to find a sign that he knew. Because Gladiolus might be straightforward and easy going, but he wasn't stupid and he knew what was right and wrong. However, there was nothing in his eyes and it annoyed Ignis more than he could tolerate.

“I don't. If I did anything wrong you need to tell me that.”

Ignis huffed and wanted to turn away and leave but Gladiolus didn't let him. His big hand held his arm in a grip that didn't hurt but one Ignis knew he couldn't get out of easily. His eyes went back to that handsome face and he could see that Gladiolus honestly didn't know what he did wrong and that he wanted to clarify whatever stood between them. The only thing Ignis wondered about was if Gladiolus was doing it because he wanted to, or out of the responsibility he carried with him as Noctis' shield. Whatever it was Ignis understood that Gladiolus did deserve a chance to explain himself.

Also, deep down, Ignis still couldn't help himself and he wanted to be close to the shield, no matter how little sense it made to him. He sighed and nodded but when he looked over to the King and his son he opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but Gladiolus noticed where he looked and smiled as he shook his head.

“It's alright. My father is with them and the Prince is safe.”

Ignis eyed him skeptically. They couldn't just abandon their places close to the Prince just because of their personal issues.

“It's fine, really. The King and my father said we should talk,” Gladiolus said as if he knew what Ignis was thinking.

“What? Your father and King Regis know about our disagreement?” Ignis suddenly felt embarrassed and incompetent, like he had failed a very simple task – to remain professional and collected and as if nothing was wrong. Though, if Clarus and the King said they should talk about it, Ignis couldn't do anything else but agree and with a final nod – and Gladiolus beaming at him – he followed the shield to the balcony.

While walking, Ignis kept a close look on Gladiolus and thought that, with the uniform he wore whenever he was on King's duty, he created the illusion that he did not attend a public school nor did he hang out with racist people. No one would have thought that about anyone working for the crown and Ignis – not only did he have a weak spot for Gladiolus wearing uniforms – wasn't stubborn or selfish. He wasn't just loyal and gifted with intelligence. Ignis was also selfless and understanding – and sometimes a bit too much, as the King liked to remind him kindly.

Though Ignis didn't think it was anything bad. In fact, it was perhaps something that happened naturally considering where he came from and how ignorant and stubborn people were. He didn't want to be like them and rather help who needed help – and obviously he felt for Noctis and his loss and burden.

When they stepped out of the hall and Gladiolus closed the doors enough to dull the sound from the inside, Ignis felt the feeling return. It wasn't a force he couldn't control, nor was it a heat he didn't know how to handle. His feelings became measurable, servants of his self-control so he wouldn't become the horny teenager his puberty wanted him to be. Nor did he blush like a virgin and gawked at Gladiolus obviously. His face remained unreadable and his posture straight and proper, and his eyes watching Gladiolus as he stepped closer, while the sun went down and let the night fall.

“Look, I'm not the smartest person,” Gladiolus began as he placed his hands on the handrail as if he needed to occupy them with something. “At least I'm not as smart as you are. But no one truly is. At least no one I know.”

Ignis felt the blood rushing to his cheeks because of that obvious compliment but he wouldn't let Gladiolus woo him – though he couldn't blame anyone who fell for him.

“But I honestly don't know what I did to make you refuse to talk to me outside our duties, and it bothers me a lot.”

“Why does it bother you?” Ignis needed to know and added. “As long as our personal issues don't interfere when it comes to the Prince it shouldn't really bother you, or am I wrong?”

Gladiolus chuckled and gave Ignis a soft smile which, again, caused another pang of emotions inside Ignis heart. Gods, he wished it wouldn't react at all because its language was more confusing than anything else.

“No, you're right. It shouldn't bother me as long as we do our job. Yet, it does bother me because I think you're a good person and that we could become good friends,” Gladiolus explained.

Right after he heard those words Ignis didn't know if he felt angry, hurt or confused. Gladiolus thought he was a good person and that they could become friends? If that was, in fact, the truth then why didn't he say anything when their classmates said all those unacceptable and awful lies about him?

“But... I also don't like to see you struggling so hard, you know?”

Now Ignis was clearly confused and he narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out what Gladiolus was talking about. Was this, again, about being young and stupid? About being free and doing mistakes because they were young? Because Ignis didn't need that and he wasn't going to change just to please someone. He was who he was and he liked himself.

“I don't struggle.”

Gladiolus laughed, but it was a warm laugh and not a mocking one. “Right, you don't. At least when it comes to using your brains and following the crown's orders. But I see that you're struggling with making friends and using this,” Gladiolus pointed at his own chest, right there where his heart was and Ignis moved his hand to place it over his own chest.

“And you feel like you need to show me the world and change me?” Ignis asked.

Gladiolus shook his head.

“No. That's not it. I don't want to change you, Ignis. You're fine just the way you are. But I don't like it what people say about you and how they treat you. I didn't say or do anything because I was sure you'd handle it yourself and I didn't want to hurt your pride or anything. I guess, that was a mistake. I should have said something the first time I heard it since I know what the truth is. At least my father told me a little about it.”

It was weird, Ignis thought. So far the only people who really cared about him were his uncle, the King, Clarus and eventually Noctis when he heard his story. They were the only people who really knew anything about his family and his past. It was weird that he never considered that Gladiolus might know something too since Clarus was his father – because Ignis never talked about his past and Noctis was the only one who he ever told his story to.

“You think I'm upset about that?” Ignis asked.

“It's the only thing I can come up with to be honest,” Gladiolus said with a hopeful shine in his eyes.

“It's not... that. I saw you with the others during that festival you invited me to and I heard what they said about me to you,” Ignis explained. “I was sure you shared the same opinions.”

Gladiolus sighed and the soft smiled remained on his lips. “And you left, I suppose, without hearing the rest of it?”

Ignis nodded.

“I actually called them out and I even punched Bennet on the last day of school.”

“You what?”

“Yeah, he deserved it. I didn't want to cause a scene but it pissed me off really bad. Obviously, it came around to my old man and he grounded me for the whole summer break.”

Ignis almost snorted when he heard that because whenever he met Clarus he was a proud and strong man, protecting and accompanying the King anywhere. But he also had a very gentle and funny side and he wondered if he would ever see him as a father. However, what mattered the most was what Gladiolus actually said and Ignis felt like he could finally breathe freely.

“I didn't know that,” Ignis confessed and felt really bad for believing in something he didn't know for sure. Usually he made all the possible research about anything to be sure he got it all right. But when it came to Gladiolus and the stupid feelings, his rationality stopped to function as it usually did. “I'm sorry for my behavior.”

“Nah, it's fine. I get it. I should have said something way earlier. However, we can't change the past but we can change the future, right?” Gladiolus waved it off and his soft smile became another one, which showed his confidence and that he had some sort of idea.

“What are you suggesting?”

“Since you hurt me because you didn't trust me, as a make up I want us to become friends,” Gladiolus voice was all teasing, but Ignis didn't notice right away.

Instead he froze on the spot, but Gladiolus kept on talking.

“I'm sure we'll become good friends and that we'll complement each other perfectly. What do you say?”

Ignis felt his mind starting to work and come up with a thousand reasons why he still should keep a healthy distance between them. Although his gut feeling told him something entirely different, which was hard to understand.

But it didn't feel wrong.

The last time he followed his mind he created this misunderstanding and mess between them – so that Clarus and the King even noticed it – and that's why he decided to trust his gut feeling this time, just like he did when he was a child.

“Let's see if this theory holds any sort of truth,” Ignis agreed and was pleased when he heard Gladiolus laugh.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments, they inspire me a lot! Hope you enjoyed this chapter as well :)


	4. Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added some songs to my [Gladnis](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=spotify%3Auser%3Amonchen7%3Aplaylist%3A5npXHNQnHuLPwi7sKTrG9X&t=YTMyY2U5NDlmODlhYmZlZWRmMTgwMmVkMzJlZmU0MjQxMjYyYWQ2ZixDQmI0T2o2aQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AhMEifwFbwuCFDnsHPk4idg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fskrivarmelodi.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F163007489586%2Five-added-some-songs-to-my-gladnis-playlist-for&m=1) playlist on Spotify :)

 

“Move it,” Gladiolus growled and Ignis almost jumped off of his chair when he heard that deep voice. From the tone he noticed that he was not addressing him but the person sitting right next to him. Slowly he turned his head to the right and watched Gladiolus standing there, all tall and threatening, as he glared at the boy who was sitting there.

“What? Why should I?” he protested but Gladiolus only bent down, becoming even more threatening.

“I'm sitting here from now on, got that?”

Ignis couldn't explain how Gladiolus managed to sound and appear threatening and then switch to carefree and laughing. But it worked and the boy moved away and Gladiolus sat down. Confused, Ignis blinked several times and turned his head back to watch the shield smiling, pleased.

“Care to explain what that was about?” Ignis asked eventually.

“Huh? Isn't it obvious? I want to sit next to you. Besides, that dickhead talks shit about you so he doesn't deserve to sit here.” Gladiolus shrugged and pulled out his bottle of water to take a sip.

“I sat next to him for the past five months, except for the six weeks during summer break. I'm sure I could have handled it myself,” Ignis stated it as a fact – ignoring Gladiolus swears since he had gotten used to that - and he didn't want to insult Gladiolus or say anything rude. Though, when he looked at Gladiolus face, confusion hit him. Was what he said really that wrong?

“That might be true but the assholes need to learn their place and you're too good to actually call them out.”

Okay, so Gladiolus wanted to support him? Even protect him? The emotion this thought caused was a warm flow, tugging at the corners of his lips that tried to make him smile – not to mention how his blood danced through his veins and tried to reach his cheeks, and even succeeded a bit. What was he supposed to say though? He thought about showing his gratitude but then he wasn't used to peoplecaring for him and it made him feel rather uncomfortable and like he was losing control over himself or something.

“You don't need to protect me or anything. I simply ignore them and eventually they lose interest in me.” Ignis reasoned and heard Gladiolus groan as if something annoyed him. Right, Ignis could be annoying with his accuracy and his need to do everything on his own and in the proper way. Noctis told him that many times and both, him and Gladiolus, liked to remind him to relax a bit and speak up if he needed to.

“You're really something, Ignis. I'd say you're stubborn but it's not that. I'm stubborn just like the rest of my family. Anyway, we're friends so it's only natural that I want to protect and support my friend. I don't do it because I think you're weak or anything. It's what friends do,” Gladiolus explained and Ignis remembered that he had a little sister and probably was good at showing understanding when needed but also be a strict teacher. No wonder he was so good at explaining things which were connected to emotions…it made it easier for Ignis to understand.

“I understand,” he said and thought for a while longer before he said: “But I can still handle it myself. I don't want this to become your burden because it's not worth it. Eventually they will learn.. or maybe not.”

“And how are they supposed to learn if you don't speak out?”

Right, Gladiolus said that before and Ignis realized the error in his logic. Yet, calling them out would be like starting a battle he didn't want to fight and one that seemed rather pointless and unimportant compared to his duty. He wanted to say that but when he looked at his 'friend' – the word still felt odd when he connected it with the shield – he couldn't. Gladiolus seemed to be convinced that this was the right thing to do and also something he wanted to do.

“You have a point.” Ignis admitted and let it be as it was.

For the rest of the morning he was focused on his classes and during lunch break he was sure that Gladiolus would join the others to the cafeteria, as he usually did. He didn't and instead he nudged Ignis with his elbow and pointed to the door.

“Wanna come with me?”

Ignis looked rather confused and when he looked around he noticed how some people were throwing disapproving looks at him. Of course, they all got along with Gladiolus, and sharing him now probably went against their will. He was about to blame himself until he figured that it wasn't like he forced Gladiolus to hang out with him or to punch Bennet. He did all that because he wanted to and yet Ignis couldn't stop feeling responsible.

“Are you sure?”

Gladiolus said nothing at first but the change in his face made it clear that he, perhaps, understood why Ignis hesitated.

Was he so easy to read?

Well, maybe he was since Gladiolus obviously has been watching him for a while. And Ignis didn't like it. This feeling of vulnerability and that someone could take the control out of his hands made him uneasy and apprehensive. His mind, however, told him that he could trust Gladiolus and he remembered that friends were supposed to trust each other at some point. A concept he didn't know nor understand and he wondered when the trust would come. When did he start to trust his uncle, the King, his people and eventually the Prince too?

Ignis couldn't remember how he did that nor when it began.

“Of course I'm sure. Come on,” Gladiolus said and grabbed Ignis' briefcase.

That was enough for Ignis to jump off his chair, grab his lunchbox and follow Gladiolus – not because he decided to, but because he had important papers inside his briefcase. Certainly, Gladiolus wasn't a person to be underestimated when it came to his brains. True, he wasn't as smart as Ignis, as Gladiolus said himself, but he wasn't stupid either.

He followed him up the stairs until they reached the rooftop and then he finally could reach for his briefcase and glare at Gladiolus for taking it without asking.

“I have important reports inside there and they are not meant for the public eye,” Ignis informed him.

“Huh, why would you carry something like that with you?” Gladiolus asked and sat down on the ground and pulled out his own lunchbox. Ignis watched him sitting there and hesitated until he was sure the space was clean to sit on.

“So I can read it during breaks,” Ignis sighed and looked around. There was no one but them and the sun was shining down – it was still warm but Ignis could tell that Autumn was close.

“Do you ever take a break though?” Gladiolus asked slightly amused, which confused Ignis in return. What was so amusing about taking his responsibility seriously?

“I do. I'm not a machine and I need a specific amount of sleep so I can function, just like anyone else.” Ignis said as a matter of fact and opened his own lunchbox.

“You seriously need to relax, Ignis.” Gladiolus sighed but with a gentle smile on his lips.

The adviser arched an eyebrow and recalled that Gladiolus, and also the Prince, had told him that many times. Was he really so uptight? Was he really too well-educated, boring and no fun at all? Ignis never questioned his behavior or the way he was since it had been his upbringing. Most of the times though, he felt misunderstood, especially when no one laughed at a joke he made – or when he himself didn't laugh because he didn't get a joke from someone else.

He looked up from his lunchbox and wanted to ask Gladiolus if he came across like a boring prude or if it was something else. But his words never found a way out of his mouth when he saw how the other was staring at his lunchbox.

“What is it?” Ignis asked, feeling rather insecure. Was there something wrong with his food?

“Did your uncle make this for you? It looks fancy.”

Ignis looked down and didn't know what was so 'fancy' about his lunch. It was a healthy mix of everything the body needed and since he was learning how to cook, he paid attention to what he was eating. Though, when he looked over to Gladiolus lunchbox he understood why he thought Ignis' was something special: noodles, with some sauce and meat. Simple and not exactly balanced.

“I... made that myself.” Ignis confessed and somehow it felt like he was opening a bit too much. He took pride in his cooking and he didn't like to be judged for it.

“Really? You can cook?” Gladiolus asked surprised, eyes huge and mouth hanging open with no layer to hide how he felt. This honest expression and how close he was made Ignis heart react for the first time today and it annoyed him. Whenever he thought he had his feelings under control, they showed him that he did not.

“I'm learning,” was all he said and started to eat to keep himself busy with something and not just staring and blushing like a teenager usually did. For a while they said nothing and ate in silence – Ignis, for once, trying not to think at all – though he wondered if Noctis never mentioned his cooking in front of Gladiolus – until Gladiolus spoke with a teasing smile.

“Will you cook for me?”

A lot happened after Ignis heard those words. First he tried not to choke on the piece of carrot in his mouth, then his mind came up with images of him and Gladiolus in his apartment cooking together and doing... other things that made his blood dance and rush down south while he desperately tried to suppress it. All of that happened inside him while his outside remained quiet and he looked back up to see that Gladiolus was waiting for an answer. But, honestly, Ignis didn't know what to say at first. So Ignis shrugged – a rather rare gesture - and when he found the best excuse he said.

“If my schedule allows it, maybe.”

Gladiolus seemed to be fine with the answer and they continued eating, while Ignis body calmed down and suddenly the idea to cook for Gladiolus made him feel happy. Yes, if his cooking could make him smile and feel good, he wanted to try it. But first he needed to become better because he still had his difficulties with certain recipes. After all, he was a perfectionist through and through and, even if it sometimes made things rather complicated, he wouldn't be okay with less.

 

* * *

 

School became bearable, Ignis had to admit. Alina, Bennet and Kenneth still reminded him of his dirty roots whenever he was alone, but didn't go any further than that. They never attacked him physically but Ignis noticed that their anger increased since he started to hang out with Gladiolus and he easily understood the reason why.

First, Gladiolus was an Amicitia and his family enjoyed an high standing from the people of Insomnia since they had always protected the family of Lucis and Insomnia itself. Second, the girls liked Gladiolus and Ignis witnessed how they watched him, some asked him out bluntly and others put love letters under his desk because they were too shy to actually approach him – and not just the girls from their class but from the whole school. He never figured out if Gladiolus actually went out with one of the girls or not, they never talked about that and frankly, Ignis didn't want to know.

Throughout September he noticed all of that and it caused a feeling he usually only felt whenever he got a letter from his parents.

Pain.

But the pain he felt when it came to Gladiolus and the possibility that he could end up with a girlfriend, was much bigger than the one his parent's none existing interest in their own son caused. Throughout the years he had accepted that his parents cared more about money and their own needs than their son.

Which was not the case when it came to the girls trying to win Gladiolus over. He couldn't accept that but Ignis also didn't do anything against it because he didn't understand why he felt that way in the first place.

Alina was one of those girls and her dislike towards him grew even more when they started to hang out together more and more.

“Gladio is so cool, I don't understand why he would hang out with someone as boring and dirty as you are,” she reminded him from time to time when she managed to corner Ignis alone. Ignis learned to handle the words, doubting they would attack him physically because they were too scared to get punished by the King and his people.

She wasn't the only one who shared her disagreement about him and Gladiolus being friends and spending time together. Some even asked Ignis if he could give Gladiolus a letter or a gift, since he seemed to be trustworthy and a person who would keep a secret – which was true. Ignis, who usually helped when he could, found himself in a dilemma. Logically it was something he could do because it didn't take too much effort or time to do so. Emotionally he wanted to yell at the girls and tell them to back off – but Ignis Scientia never yelled or showed any kind of primal behavior.

Some days when he came home he was in a desperate need to throw something or scream into his pillow, other days angry tears tried to mock him and remind him that he was indeed a human being and he was allowed to show how he felt. He read about pent up emotions and needs in a book and that it was unhealthy to keep everything inside. Concerned about that, he thought about a way to let it out without doing something that was not in his nature. It didn't take too long to remember that he wanted to go out on his own, visit restaurants to try their menu and watch people in general. Somehow this seemed to be a good thing for him to try.

 

* * *

 

It was the beginning of October when Ignis finally readjusted his schedule so he had enough time to finally go out on his own. After he finished his research about the restaurants in Insomnia, he created a list of the places he wanted to visit. Some restaurants needed a reservation others he could visit any time, and since he was still sixteen and didn't have enough experience to cook everything – Ignis knew some recipes would end up in a disaster –, he decided to go to the restaurants where a sixteen year old young man wouldn't look out of place.

First he tried meals that Noctis would definitely like and those were mostly meals that required a rather simple process of cooking - Hamburgers, grilled chicken, noodles serves in different ways, soups, etc. While eating he took notes and back home he would look for more recipes just be sure he got it right.

Something so simple as eating a warm meal made him happy and he was sure it always would, because he never wanted to take anything for granted. But soon his joy got disturbed by what he saw happening around him. Ignis noticed when autumn took over since he needed to wear his school jacket because it became too cold for a simple shirt.

Whenever he sat in or outside a restaurant he saw that the other guests rarely came alone. There was always someone with them, a friend, a sibling, coworkers, accompanying them to and enjoy their food together. They said that a meal tasted better with someone they could share it with and Ignis had to admit that he enjoyed the times when Noctis ate with him and voiced what he liked and what not – vegetables were still his nemesis.

Was it really so unusual to eat alone? Judging by the odd looks some waiters gave him, it perhaps was something rather odd for a sixteen year old…or maybe even in general. The thought bothered him a lot and during school he watched his classmates and wondered if there was anyone he could take with him. Maybe he should ask Gladiolus to go out with him, not on a date, obviously not, but as friends. It would be so easy, Ignis thought as he looked to his right where Gladiolus was sitting. He just needed to ask if he wanted to visit a restaurant with him to try their food. However, no matter what sentence he build in his mind and no matter how many times he told himself they were friends and friends went out together, no word left his mouth, not even after the bell went off and everyone jumped off their chairs to finally go home.

Ignis sighed and packed his stuff while looking out of the window and seeing that rain was pouring down. When he looked back up, Gladiolus was already gone. Ignis arched an eyebrow about that because usually Gladiolus waited and asked Ignis if they wanted to go home together. In the past weeks Ignis said no to that because he didn't want to deal with girls stalking Gladiolus and he wasn't going back to the Citadel but visiting restaurants – which he tried to keep a secret.

He stood up and made his way to the exit where he noticed several girls standing in groups together, whispering. It should have been worrisome but Ignis knew these girls because he had been watching them – they all were interested in Gladiolus. Without hesitation he made his way past them and looked for Gladiolus to see if there was a reason why they all didn't move. Though, when he found him, Gladiolus was standing under the roof, safe from the rain and looking up at the sky, rather unhappy.

Ignis waited and looked behind him to notice that all the girls were holding their umbrellas, probably too shy to offer one to Gladiolus. Right, he remembered reading a novel and how romantic it supposedly was to walk under one umbrella together. Did girls really like that sort of thing? Was it really that romantic? He didn't know but something inside him forced him to act before someone else would.

Ignis took his umbrella and made his way to Gladiolus while ignoring his heartbeat and pushing away any unnecessary images the memory of that novel caused.

“I suppose today is your lucky day,” Ignis said and felt proud that his voice did not waver.

Gladiolus turned around to him and Ignis still needed to look up to actually see his whole face. He was so ridiculously tall for a 16 year old but that was something Ignis liked and he hoped that he would never become taller than the shield. Oh, okay, where was this thought coming from?

“My lucky day? What? Don't say we can go home together!” Gladiolus said with a cheerful laugh.

“Affirmative.”

“You and your smartass words. Come on, I'll hold the umbrella.” Gladiolus reached out for it and for just a second his skin touched Ignis' but it was enough to send a spark through his small body and Gladiolus wide smile wasn't helping.

His body moved on its own, walking with Gladiolus, while his mind was still busy sorting everything out, until his consciousness reached him and he realized what was happening.

It was not a dream. He was really walking beside his friend he had so many confusing feelings for. But it made him happy, a happiness that was new but pulling at his lips stronger than ever and he couldn't stop that from happening. He was happy and there was nothing wrong with that.

“What are you smiling about?” Gladiolus asked with curiosity but also with a genuine smile.

“I'm just looking froward to the weekend,” Ignis said.

“Huh? What are your plans?”

“A date with a book and my stove,” Ignis shared and Gladiolus bent down, coming dangerously closer.

“What about the cooking though? Are you finally going to cook something for me?”

Right, Ignis remembered that conversation and his insides were yelling at him to say yes, but not his brain. Never his brain.

“What do you like? Anything you favor?”

“You're going to laugh,” Gladiolus said. “Cup Noodles.”

Ignis mouth hung open for several seconds but the laugh never left his mouth. The opposite actually.

“Cup Noodles? That's not even real food. You just warm water and pour it over the convenience product,” Ignis explained, his smile gone as he eyed Gladiolus.

Really? Cup Noodles? Was he like Noctis? No, Noctis would pick out all the vegetables, so no, he probably was not entirely like Noctis.

“It's easy to do and doesn't consume too much time,” Gladiolus shrugged and the teasing smile felt like some sort of challenge.

“Well, you should definitely try something homemade. I'm sure you'll change your opinion about what's good and what not.”

“You think? So, does that mean you'll cook something for me that tastes better than Cup Noodles?”

“Certainly,” Ignis confirmed without much thinking but still feeling slightly appalled that Gladiolus, who grew up with the crown's kitchen, liked something as simple as Cup Noodles.

Until he realized what he just said.

Crap.

“Soooo, when are you going to do that? I mean, we both have the weekend off,” Gladiolus chattered along as if he didn't know what he just did. But Ignis saw right through him.

Damn himself for being a man of his words.

“I suppose, this weekend it is.”

 

* * *

 

The last time Ignis felt nervous was when he entered Insomnia for the first time and met the King, Noctis and started to attend the special education for gifted children. Back then he had been insecure about being able to fulfill what was expected from him. But his nervousness became less with each passing year because he realized that it was easy for him to learn new things and adjust to his new life. It became his home, his fate and he never wanted to trade this life with anything else.

This situation though was different.

It wasn'ta formula he had to learn, or rules he had to follow with a certainty that things would work out if he just followed the guide that was given to him. This moment had no rules nor a guide, there was nothing he could read and consume to know what to do, no matter the situation. People were complex, unpredictable at times and he had to admit that he did know Gladiolus a bit better than two months ago, but compared to the complexity of a human being, it was very little knowledge. Besides studying other people or watching the Prince, it was still different because his heart did not react towards anyone but Gladiolus.

They texted back and forth since morning about class and homework and Ignis learned that Gladiolus did have his issues with certain subjects, so he promised to help him. Ignis made sure that his apartment was spotless while thinking what he would cook for dinner. There were recipes he wanted to try but taking the risk of ruining something was not an option and cooking something too simple made him feel dissatisfied with himself. He knew he could do better than that but if he cooked something too expensive and too exquisite, he feared that Gladiolus might either not like it or misunderstand what Ignis intention was.

Pride was what he connected with his cooking and he didn't shy away from any challenge but he didn't want to show off his skills or turn this evening into something special.

No, Gladiolus was good at reading people and he decided to keep the dinner simple.

He decided to try a noodle recipe so he made his way to the kitchen when he heard a familiar knocking against his door. It was his uncle, he could tell by the unique way he always knocked – not too hard not too weak and in a rhythm no one else did.

He opened the door and smiled at his uncle but that faded away when he noticed the letter in his hand and the expression on his face. It was the first time he saw his uncle this conflicted and he could tell that something was off.

“Did something happen?” Ignis asked and stepped aside to let him enter his apartment.

“Your parents sent me a letter,” Ronan said and both of Ignis’ eyebrows lifted in surprise. They never wrote to his uncle not even when Ignis was still living with them. But the envelope he held in his hands wasn't opened and it was Ignis name written on it.

“I suppose they wrote you the same message,” was all his uncle said and Ignis took the letter and opened it. There wasn't much written, only three sentences.

_Your father is sick and the bills are piling up._

_We need more money so we can pay the bills._

_I'm sure that won't be an issue since you're working for the king._

Ignis wondered if this was true, if his father was really sick. It would have been normal for anyone else who had a good relationship with their family to react immediately but Ignis hesitated. Which no one could blame him for, considering how cunning the people there were. His eyes wandered back to his uncle as if he would know if the news was true. The expression on his uncle's face told him that he wasn't sure himself if these letters held any sort of truth.

Ignis placed the letter on the desk in his living room. The feeling of worry and fear never started to grow inside him but who could blame him for that? His parents never cared about him and they never asked him when he would visit them or how he was doing. They weren't like Clarus who cared about his family and raised his children alone. They weren't like King Regis who did everything so his son would have everything and live an happy life. Ignis was not jealous nor wished for his parents to change. All he wanted was to close off any sort of connection to them since pain was the only thing they were able to give him.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Ignis asked.

“Of course we can,” his uncle said and gave Ignis a small smile.

Ignis nodded slowly and went with his uncle to the door to see him off. It was a bad timing, he had to admit that, but his uncle didn't know about his dinner plans. If he knew he wouldn't have come and confuse Ignis with this letter.

But it was a matter he couldn't focus on right now. He would have time for that the next day and he was certain that, when Gladiolus would enter his apartment, he would forget about it all.

Dinner was almost ready when he heard the unfamiliar knock of Gladiolus’ hand against the door. It didn't have a specific rhythm like his uncle's but it was a strong knock, louder than usual.

Unconsciously he wiped his hands clean, fumbled with his hair and glasses and fixed his vest before he opened the door.

There he stood, with his handsome face and charming smile, dressed in a nice dark green shirt and black pants. Ignis had been almost certain that Gladiolus would come dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants but apparently he had far more manners than Ignis gave him credit for. He noticed the little package in his hands but didn't pay much attention to it any further – if this was a gift Ignis didn't know what to think about it, so he preferredto ignore it.

“Good evening, Gladiolus,” Ignis said and stepped aside to let him in.

“Gods, Ignis. Drop that Gladiolus crap, it reminds me of my father and he only says my full name when I'm in trouble or when I'm on duty,” Gladiolus said, but not to blame Ignis for anything or to make him feel bad. He said it in a cheerful way and Ignis nodded slowly. Right, they were friends so it was okay for him to address Gladiolus as Gladio.

“Here, this is for you. A little thank you gift because you're cooking for me,” Gladiolus announced when they arrived in the kitchen and handed Ignis the little package. It was wrapped beautifully and Ignis wondered for a second if Gladiolus did that himself. “Iris helped me. I suck at such things.”

“Thank you,” Ignis said.

He opened the gift and was almost certain that it would have been some sweets or something like that, but he was surprised to find a beautiful green cup inside. He held it with his hand, admired it from all its sides and then looked back up to Gladiolus who seemed a bit... flustered? That pink color on his cheeks definitely was something new because this guy flirted with everyone as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

“It reminded me of you so I thought it would be a nice gift.”

His heart jumped in a lot of different rhythms in the past weeks. Sometimes it was strong and loud, or fast but quiet, and sometimes it pumped so much blood through his body that he couldn't hear anything else and needed to be alone as soon as possible. This time it was a painful beat, a desperate one because Ignis wanted these words to mean something that he still couldn't understand.

He wanted words to explain his feelings for Gladiolus that they would allow him to ask for the embrace he had been dreaming of for so long. He wanted to hear this voice in the middle of the night to lull him back into a deep happy sleep.

“It reminded you of me?” Ignis asked as he held the cup carefully.

“Uh... yeah. Your eyes are... the same green so I thought it would fit.” Gladiolus struggled to explain and Ignis wanted to ask more as if Gladiolus had the answer he was looking for. But he didn't. He simply smiled because it made him happy that Gladiolus knew what his eye color was, that he remembered it. And the words made him feel special in a different way, like he was someone special to Gladiolus and not just one of many people he threw compliments at.

“You can be quite cute, you know? Especially when you smile, which you rarely do.” Gladiolus commented and his usual self, the guy who flirted as if it was as easy as breathing, returned. And for a second Ignis missed the flustered Gladiolus because now it was his turn to force his blood down, away from his cheeks as he held up the cup a bit higher to hide half of his face.

“And you're a big flirt. I never know when you're serious and when not,” Ignis huffed and then looked over to the stove. “Anyway, are you here to test your flirting skills or my cooking skills?”

“Ouch, don't be so serious,” Gladiolus joked, confusing Ignis even more.

Right, maybe he wasn't someone special after all. It caused a pang of disappointed inside his soul but Ignis shook it off as he had learned to do in the past weeks.

“What did you cook though? Smells nice.” Gladiolus asked and joined him next to the stove as if nothing happened.

“Since you said you like Cup Noodles best I decided to cook something with noodles. However, to add something healthier I came up with a pasta that comprehends noodles, spinach and salmon.” Ignis explained, drowned in his element.

He turned to Gladiolus and closed his mouth when he noticed how close he actually stood next to him – so close he could feel his body heat – but soon found his words again as he looked beyond his glasses. “I hope you like spinach, unlike the prince.”

“Haha, a prince who's scared of carrots and beans, right? No, I eat everything.”

Ignis nodded and found great relief in this information. His uncle didn't like sweet stuff and Noctis hated any sort of vegetable so it was nice to have someone around who was eager to try whatever was cooked.

It didn't take him long to finish dinner. He told Gladiolus to sit down while he set everything and poured them both water. After Ignis joined him at the table he watched Gladiolus being all eager and excited to try something made by him and that made him fell special again.

Ignis waited before he started to eat. He waited for Gladiolus' reaction and took pride in his words when he confirmed that he liked Ignis’ pasta recipe a lot. It wasn't easy to read people for Ignis, it was one of the hardest things to do since he hadn't been very social in the past years. But Gladiolus made it so easy for him because he didn't try to hide how much he enjoyed the meal.

And he wasn't even pretending. He was open like a book, allowing Ignis to see that he was honest. Maybe Gladiolus knew how hard it was for Ignis to understand people? It wouldn't surprise him considering that Gladiolus remembered and noticed things like his eye color or that he had issues with speaking up for himself, preferring to ignore whatever people said about him.

Ignis wondered how much Gladiolus really knew but he didn't ask. The letter he received still bothered him in the back of his mind and he decided to keep their conversation easy – another thing he noticed. Small talk with Gladiolus was easier since they both grew up in the same environment, even if Gladiolus knew a lot about the people and Ignis always learned something new. This evening Ignis learned also something new about Gladiolus himself and it surprised him.

Gladiolus liked books. He actually read quite a lot and Ignis didn't believe him at first. He had never seen Gladiolus inside the library and Ignis himself spent a lot of time there. But when his friend told him about books and their stories, which Ignis knew himself, he started to believe him eventually.

“So, you like romantic novels?” Ignis asked after hearing about the 5th romance novel Gladiolus had read.

“I don't really have a favorite genre. I like fantasy as well or the fairy tales my mother used to read to me when she was still with us. I read them to Iris now.”

“I... have a book from my hometown. I haven't seen it anywhere in Insomnia, not even in the library. I think you'd like it,” Ignis said and for some reason he felt insecure. The only person he ever read this fairytale to was the Prince, since Noctis wanted to know more about Ignis past. Any other person didn't know about this book and Ignis never felt the need to tell anyone about it. It was the only good connection to his roots and, maybe because it meant to much to him, he didn't share it.

But Gladiolus... he was different.

And Ignis wanted to share this with him for some reason. It felt right.

“Yeah? Can you show me the book?”

Ignis nodded and they both left the kitchen and went to the living room where he told Gladiolus to wait while he walked into his bedroom. He didn't want Gladiolus to enter the room where he spent so many nights fantasizing about him. Not that Gladiolus would ever know just by entering his bedroom, but still.

He walked to his nightstand and took the old book into his hands. Whenever Ignis held it or just looked at it, the memories of his parents being lovely parents returned. The pain he used to feel and the melancholy subsided with time. It didn't give him any hope or made him miss his parents. No, it was just a reminder of something good and something that connected him to the Prince. Maybe it would also create a connection to Gladiolus?

Ignis returned to the living room and found Gladiolus standing next to his desk where the letter was. Any other person would have felt alarmed, upset, maybe even hurt that he obviously read the letter.

Ignis did not. It was his own fault for leaving it there.

“Sorry, I wasn't going through your stuff or anything,” Gladiolus defended himself when he noticed that Ignis returned but didn't say anything. His eyes were glued to the letter that made him feel nothing at first, but now it almost upset him in many ways.

“Your dad's sick?”

Ignis shrugged because he couldn't confirm nor deny it. His parents and the connection they still had wasn't so easy to explain and he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Gladiolus anything about it, since he had already decided to cut off everything that tied him to them. He really saw no reason why he should bother Gladiolus with something like this.

“You don't have a good relationship with them?” Gladiolus continued.

“It doesn't matter,” Ignis said and unconsciously pressed the book closer to his chest.

“Well, it matters to me, you know.”

“To you?” Ignis asked and finally looked away from the letter and back to Gladiolus who smiled at him while he leaned against the desk, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked so good in this dim light coming from the lamp on his desk and Ignis felt the need to touch him rising, but instead he pinched his arm to make sure he was awake and not dreaming.

“Yeah, of course,” Gladiolus answered and both said nothing, ~~but~~ waiting for the other to react.

Ignis didn't understand why it mattered to Gladiolus so much so he had no idea what to say and somehow his friend noticed that. What was it? Why couldn't Ignis read people as easily as Gladiolus could?

“You see, it's hard to understand you sometimes, and I mean that in a good way. As Noctis' adviser you're doing a pretty damn good job, being all calm and knowing what is important and what not. I admire you for this, I really do.” Gladiolus said.

Ignis swallowed because his mouth felt dry and his heart asked for all of Ignis energy so it could pound faster and faster.

“But it makes it hard for me to understand you sometimes. I've spent a lot of time getting to know you from the distance and whenever I got something right, I felt pretty proud because I was able to read the adviser. Though with things like this,” Gladiolus pointed at the letter. “I would never know for sure. I could guess and still be wrong. That's why it matters to me that we talk because I simply want to know more about you.”

Why, was what Ignis wanted to ask and what echoed in his head over and over again. Why do you want to know more about me? Do you feel the same way I do? What does it mean? He didn't find the courage to ask the questions and expose himself. No, he needed more information, more time before he could do that.

“I'm not good at that... friendship and talking about myself. I never considered it as something important,” Ignis said and had no idea where this was coming from but he knew that Gladiolus had already figured that out.

“No, I know and that's okay. Maybe I'll be able to help you a bit just like you help me to take my duty more seriously and devote myself more to become the shield Noctis will need.”

“You're already doing a good job without me helping you,” Ignis said because it was a fact.

“Compared to you? Never. I still have to work hard on myself. But being around you and learning from you helps me. I'm not someone who likes to lose and I have to become as good as you are in my own responsibility, don't you think?”

“Certainly.”

“But I also want to be your friend and get to know you, Ignis Scientia, and not just the adviser. You okay with that?”

“Green,” Ignis agreed and made Gladiolus laugh.

“Good. So, you don't have to tell me any details but... are you going to visit your parents?”

Ignis placed the book on the desk and sighed, a rare thing he did around anyone because it showed that, yes, this was a burden and sometimes life felt like a burden.

His books and cooking helped him, though. Maybe talking with someone would help him, too?

“I don't know. I think they are lying but I don't know for sure,” he looked back up to watch Gladiolus reaction while he said. “It's true what people say about the place where I come from. They are not exactly good people and my parents aren't much different. Since I came here all they asked for was money but never how their son was doing.”

“I understand,” Gladiolus nodded and he didn't look surprised or like he doubted his words. He believed Ignis’ every word.

“I want to... cut off everything that connects me to them. Not because of what people say about me but because I don't want them to be part of my life anymore. They just... use me but don't actually care.”

“And you want to do that through a letter?” Gladiolus asked and Ignis was sure he would try to talk some sense into him since this was about his parents. He didn't and instead accepted Ignis decision.

“I suppose.”

Gladiolus made a noise that signaled that he was thinking until he spoke.

“I think you should go there.”

“My schedule is very tight,” Ignis reasoned because he never thought about going back. He never wanted to, and keeping this distance was easier than returning for no real reason.

“You really think the King wouldn't give you some time off? You've already proven yourself worthy more than anyone. Knowing the King he'd give you far more than time off.”

Well, that was true, Ignis couldn't deny it since King Regis himself tried to convince Ignis to take some time off.

“You think this is the right thing to do it?” Ignis asked.

“To find closure? Yeah, I'm sure. It's hard to explain but some things we need to see and feel, otherwise you won't learn.”

Right, feelings, emotions, talking to people, Gladiolus knew how all of this worked and how important it was…so Ignis decided to trust him.

“And if things go bad I'll be here, alright?”

Ignis felt the hand on his shoulder before he saw it and it caused a warm feeling inside him. It wasn't the same spark that turned his insides into fire and his body sensitive to everything around him. It was a different warmth he felt towards the King and his uncle too, just not this strong. Trust and the certainty that Gladiolus would keep his word.

This time he didn't need to say anything more and nor did Gladiolus. They understood what this moment meant and Ignis nodded slowly.

“Thank you, Gladio,” he said with a smile and enjoyed the way Gladio's cheeks turned slightly pink again.

“Now you finally relax. Good for you, Iggy,” Gladio laughed and ran his hand through Ignis hair as if to distract him from noticing how flustered he was.

“It's still Ignis,” he corrected Gladio but couldn't hold his own chuckle back.

Having a friend wasn't so bad after all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments you left and I'm sorry that I can't find the time to respond to you guys, so I do it here. I'm extremly busy right now so I've finished chapter 4, 5, and 6 withing 3 days so my beta can work on them and I can simply update this fic until things calm down. I hope things will calm down soon so I can sleep and eat properly soon, sometimes life sucks, but what can you do. 
> 
> That's why thank you a lot for all your words, they inspire me in so many ways and keep me motivated and place a smile on my face :) hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as well, let me know what you think!


	5. Closure

 

Ignis realized that having a friend, especially someone like Gladio, was a blessing and a curse at the same time. During their lunch breaks they talked far more than before and, while Ignis judged him for his love for Cup Noodles and romance novels, at the same time his cheerful and free spirit helped him relax. No, he didn't neglect his duties but he made sure to treat himself more often than he used to.

He readjusted his schedule in order to complete his tasks and take care of his responsibilities and still have time to cook, read or spend time with Gladio. In return Gladio worked harder on himself. They somehow started to work in sync whenever they needed to accompany Noctis and were on royal duty and it made everything so much easier since they could count on each other.

Their friendship became a give and take and the understanding they shared for each other was equal. It was good, perfect even when it came to their duty, and Ignis never realized how much he needed that.

Though some things still bothered him, like letter from his parents, Gladio's shameless flirting towards others and the people who still tried to get closer to him, closer than a friend ever would. Ignis learned a lot from Gladio whenever he asked about people, their relationships and certain feelings they felt and things they did.

He learned what it meant to be human through his friend but he never asked about anything romantic.

Not that Gladio ever gave him the feeling that he read more into Ignis words but what they were. It was more like Ignis was scared that he would be too obvious and show something to his friend he himself needed to figure out first. He hoped that by watching couples and people being flirty and touchy feely he would find an answer.

But he didn't.

Whenever he watched them, Ignis ended up imaging him and Gladio being like that and it only reignitethe chaos of emotions all over again.

The only thing Ignis was certain about was, that he liked men and he liked them taller and bigger than him but he wasn't sure if he actually liked Gladio. Also, did Gladio even like men? Ignis wanted to know, as if this would help him figure out what these feelings were.

For example Noctis and him had been friends for so long that Ignis couldn't remember if maybe he had felt the same way abouthim back then.

While he struggled to find an answer or simply ask Gladio about it, he still hadn't decided what to do with his parents. The letter remained on the top of his desk for so long that autumn turned into winter. He was so caught up in his daily life that he almost forgot about it and it was Gladio who made him remember when he asked him if he had decided what to do.

So, on a snowy day, when there wasn't much to do, he visited his uncle.

“Do you think I should visit my parents?” Ignis asked while they drank tea.

“To see if they are telling the truth or not?” his uncle asked.

Ignis leaned back and stared at his cup while nodding. Yes, he wanted to know the truth and he wanted to find closure because there was no point in supporting them anymore. The money he gave them was more than enough and they still asked for more. They used him with no shame, no regret, and he didn't want to be used anymore. Gladio taught him that.

“I think it's time to cut off everything that still connects me to them. I deserve... better than that.”

“Huh? That's pretty selfish coming from you,” his uncle said surprised.

“Do... do you think it's wrong?” Ignis asked.

“Oh no. Gods, no. I'm relieved, Ignis. All you do is give but never take anything in return, so, yes, I'm quite happy to see that you care about yourself. I suppose Gladiolus has a good influence on you.”

“We became friends,” Ignis said. He never told his uncle about the way he felt or how Gladio's presence alone made him feel because it was too embarrassing.

“Yeah, I've noticed that. It's good to see you happy like a ‘normal’ teenager. I was worried we all pushed you too hard.”

“Uncle, you didn't. You all gave me the chance for a new, better life. I simply don't want to disappoint you,” Ignis reasoned.

“You couldn't, Ignis. You did better than anyone expected. But living a little is not wrong and I'm glad you and Gladiolus became friends.”

It wasn't the first time he was hearing that. Noctis shared his happiness about that as well and so did the King after a private meeting. Clarus, on the other hand, thanked Ignis for talking some sense into his stubborn son saying that his influence helped Gladio become a bit more serious. It was still weird being friends with him and it was still hard to talk and let his guard down. But it felt easier and better with each passing day.

“So, about your parents. If you want to we can visit them and you'll see for yourself what is true and what not.”

Ignis nodded. Yes, he wanted to go and cut off every last remaining string that connected them.

“But you have to be sure Ignis. Going there… you might see something you don't like.”

“I'm certain. I know they aren't... good. I know they are my parents but blood is everything that connects us. Nothing more.”

Silence and then his uncle nodded. “I'll talk to the King.”

 

* * *

 

Winter break started and Ignis packed a bag just in case, but he doubted he would stay with his parents longer than necessary. He and his uncle agreed to leave early in the morning and return before evening but anything could happen during the drive there. It was Noctis who voiced his concern about Niflheim being everywhere and demons attacking at night and it was Gladio who suggested to go with Ignis so he could protect them. But Ignis told them they would be fine since two people from the Kingsglaive would accompany them. He understood Noctis fear of losing a friend since he didn't have many and he understood Gladio's concern and wanting to support Ignis. But this was something he needed to do on his own - and with his uncle. They started this journey together and they would end it together. It just felt right.

When everything was packed and there was nothing left but to go to bed, Ignis picked up his phone and found a message from Noctis and several from Gladio.

_Noctis: Be careful, Specs. And come back quickly!_

Right, Ignis had never left Noctis side for longer than a weekend and maybe it wasn't that wrong to start a creating distance now. Noctis, even thought Ignis promised to always take care of him, needed to learn how to be independent as well. And once he would live on his own Ignis wouldn't find the time to be there for him every second of his life.

Selfish brat, that was what Gladio would have said if he had read the text.

Actually, that was what Gladio wrote since he knew Noctis just as good as Ignis did.

_Gladio: I bet the selfish brat is already whining about you leaving._

_Gladio: Am I right? I'm sure I am._

Ignis chuckled. Indeed, he was right.

_Gladio: After you return and need to talk come to me, alright? No matter what time it is._

Ignis sighed and read the last text at least three times. Did friends really do so much for each other? Staying up in the middle of the night just because their friend needed them? Ignis doubted that he would need to see Gladio in the middle of the night just because he was a bit shaken up because, so far, he had handled it alone pretty well.

Yet, he learned to thank his friend and appreciate his concern.

First he texted back Noctis and told him that he would be back as soon as possible. Then he started typing a reply to Gladio.

_Ignis: Thank you. I appreciate it._

_Gladio: I mean it. I'll know when you try to hide something, Iggy. ;)_

Ignis sighed when he fell on his bed.

_Ignis: It's Ignis. And I'm ready for whatever will happen._

_Gladio: If you say so. Still, be careful. In fact, you should start spar_ _r_ _ing with me so you can defend yourself if the Nifs appear one day._

_Ignis: You know my schedule. Besides I'll take fighting classes next year anyway._

_Gladio: Right, and guess who'll teach you ;)_

Ignis chuckled and thought it would be fun to tease Gladio a bit – which was a new enjoyment he learned about just recently.

_Ignis: Perhaps your father or Nyx._

_Gladio: D:_

Ignis laughed and suddenly felt very sleepy. 

_Ignis: Goodnight, Gladiolus._

_Gladio: Goodnight, Iggy ;)_

Ignis didn't find the energy to correct him, all he could do was smile before he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

It was a long drive to his hometown and Ignis forgot how long it actually was. He was sitting on the backseat together with his uncle while he watched Insomnia disappearing and empty sandlands taking over. His eyes watched everything pass by but his mind didn't register most of it, since he was thinking about what was waiting for him. He wondered if anything had changed, if the place was still dirty and broken and filled with people who hated literally everything and everyone that didn't belong to them.

He wondered all about that at the beginning but the further they drove away from Insomnia, the more he wanted to return. He wanted to see Noctis and remind him to eat his vegetables even though Noctis would still refuse to eat them. He wanted to attend the meetings and learn more about politics and read more books in the library. He wanted to see Gladio and listen to him talking about another cheesy romance novel he read.

Yes, he missed all of that and, most of all, he missed Gladio. And this time he didn't beat himself for thinking that. Gladio became just as important as the Prince was, and it was okay.

It was hours later, already after noon, when they finally arrived and Ignis realized that literally nothing had changed in the past almost 11 years. The houses were still broken, still dirty, just as he remembered. There were new houses, yes, but they didn't look much different from those he remembered. He saw faces he recalled but they were older now and he saw the shop which still sold the same things. Yes, nothing had changed and Ignis had a feeling that the same counted for his parents.

“Are you ready?” his uncle asked and Ignis nodded without hesitation.

As they made their way around the houses, Ignis noticed the looks people gave them and he knew these looks like the back of his hand. At school people gave him these looks of disgust and judgment because his roots weren't set in Insomnia. Now they gave him these looks because he was, obviously, living a better life and coming from Insomnia – it was easy to tell by his clothes. Ignis hoped no one would recognize him and after a while he felt certain that no one did or simply ignored him.

His parents house, when they stood in front of it, was exactly like the last day he saw it. He breathed in and out as the sky above him turned dark and the first raindrops started to touch his hair. He looked to his uncle remembering that the last time they stood there he was small, looking up to him and clutching his hand. Today he was a bit taller and able to almost be on eye level with his uncle but he didn't need to hold his hand. Ignis became stronger and was able to knock on the door with his own hand.

It took some time until his mother opened the door and the view should have shocked Ignis, but it didn't. She looked older, yes, and still wore the same dirty clothes and her eyes did not light up when she saw her son. He wasn't even sure if she recognized him but when she saw Ronan, she knew who he was, only because of him.

“Ignis, what are you doing here?” she asked. And of course she would ask that. How have you been, you've grown so much, things like that would never leave her mouth, Ignis knew.

“I came to see what is father's condition,” Ignis said.

“Your father...he's in the hospital,” she said and Ignis knew she was lying.

He knew, he knew it too well. This would hurt, this would cause more pain than any letter ever could but he needed to go through this pain and cut every connection off. He didn't need this life anymore. He would only treasure that one memory of his loving parents so he could support Noctis.

“Please, don't lie mother. I know he's here.”

His mother was stubborn but Ignis was, still, their source of money and she probably thought upsetting him meant no money anymore. That woman was so easy to read for Ignis.

He knew her, he knew this place.

He knew.

They walked inside after she made room for them and everything was still the same. Dirty, broken and filled with so many unnecessary things that Ignis wondered how he had bee able to live there. How were they able to live there without hurting themselves? Ignis stood in the hallway, looking into the living room, looking to the door where his old room used to be but he didn't feel like entering it. They probably found a purpose for it and he wasn't eager to find out what it was. Ronan tapped his shoulder and pointed to the kitchen where his father was sitting. His eyes were on Ignis but unfocused, just as Ignis remembered.

“Ignis. Did you bring us money? We were waiting but nothing came. Aren't kids supposed to help their parents?” he said with a chuckle at the end.

Ignis remained calm because he didn't see the point in getting upset. There was no reason to yell or call them out about something he had known all along. He needed to get over with this quick and clean and return home to Noctis.

To Gladio...

“I see that you are in great health father.”

“He started to feel better, I've sent you a letter Ignis. Didn't you read it?” his mother said after she entered the kitchen.

Ignis sighed and wanted to say something but he decided not to and come straight to the point. The rain was pouring down hard by now and their way back home would take longer since the roads were really bad.

“I wanted to tell you both that I won't send you any more money. This, here,” he held up an envelope, filled with money that should last for a long time. “Is the last money I'll give you.”

His mother stared at the envelope, her fingers reaching out for it, immediately opening it to count how much there was. His father though gave his son a cold look but didn't move. He would have fallen for how drunk he was.

“That's how you thank us? Your parents?”

“You haven't been acting like my parents, haven't you?” Ignis spoke and he felt his uncle react to his words. Gladio was right. Calling people out on their behavior was the right solution. And starting with his parents seemed like a good way to get used to it.

“You little brat. They've spoiled you, huh? Those fancy people over in Insomnia who don't give a fuck about us.”

Ignis clenched his fist, trying to hold back his anger.

“You and your _talent_. I wonder what that talent is. Maybe becoming a dog for the crown? Hmpf. Whatever it is, we don't need you.”

Ignis bit his lips. It wasn't worth it yelling, screaming or crying. He had known all along that this would happen.

He knew it.

“Uncle, we should leave,” Ignis managed to say. “There is nothing left to say.”

He heard his father chuckle while his mother counted the money again and after the door closed behind them Ignis, managed to breathe but his pain, his anger and sadness, were still buzzing through his body.

Why? Why did it hurt even though he knew this would happen? Did he really unconsciously hope for a different outcome? They had stopped being his parents even before he left. He thought he accepted it and he was sure he wouldn't feel anything and just cut this connection off clean and fast.

But it hurt.

And he wondered what he needed to do to stop this pain.

 

* * *

 

Snow.

There was so much snow when Ignis opened his eyes and looked out of the window from the backseat of the car. The sky was dark, night was here but he still could see the snow falling and piling up on the ground. Ignis blinked when he felt how much his head hurt and wrapped the blanket tighter around him. He remembered that his uncle gave him the blanket at some point during their drive back to Insomnia and Ignis imagined that it were warm strong arms holding him and keeping his small body from breaking.

When was the last time someone hugged him? He couldn't remember and he wasn't even sure if someone had hugged him ever in his life. All these simple things - a hug, a word of encouragement, a motherly kiss on his forehead and a father who read him bedtime stories - had really happened?

Ignis tried to sleep again and dream about the strong arms holding him, but when he noticed the borders of Insomnia, sleep became impossible to reach and his mind began to work, recalling the mere minutes he had spent with his parents. And the words they said and the way they treated him. It was over, Ignis realized, and he had no one anymore. No one he could label as the traditional family and it hurt.

To this point he had been strong, working hard on himself and getting used to his new life until he thought of Insomnia as his home and the royal family and their workers as his family. And after reachingthat conclusion, he never wanted to return to his roots. But after attending public school, Ignis, slowly, without understanding it, felt more and more out of place. Maybe he went there to cut all ties, but he also needed to be sure that there was nothing he could return to, and the little hope of an opposite outcome, existed inside unrecognized. That hope crashed him and, although Ignis wanted to tell himself that this was his home and that this was his family, he couldn't.

He was, after all, a sixteen year old who may have been smarter and more mature than other people his age, but his heart was still young, learning and speaking a language Ignis couldn't understand yet. He was just sixteen, he had no idea how to handle this pain of rejection from the people who should have loved him no matter what. They should have been proud of what he became just like King Regis and his uncle were. They should have been asking how he was doing just like Clarus did. They should have been listening to him and talking to him about everything and nothing just like Noctis and Gladiolus did.

But they didn't. And Ignis knew they never would.

“You look pale, Ignis. Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?” Ronan asked after they entered the Citadel and stood in front of his apartment.

“Yes. I need a good amount of sleep, a hot shower and I'll be fine,” Ignis pretended and, though his uncle saw right through him, he didn't push his nephew. His uncle let Ignis decide what was good for him and what not since he became older and something Ignis was grateful for it because it helped him become more independent.

“Don't hesitate to call your friends if you feel like you need them.”

That was the only thing his uncle said before he left Ignis and took the elevator to his floor.

Ignis breathed out and unlocked the door to his apartment and his legs felt heavy, weak and his clothes were wet and cold but he simply didn't have the strength to go to the bathroom. The only thing he could think about and wanted to do was to reach out to someone. He needed to tell Gladio that he was back and that he was doing okay. He needed to read some words from Gladio about how much he liked another ridiculous romance novel or how he disliked math. No, he wanted to hear Gladio say it, he wanted him there with him as if it was all he needed and somehow it made sense. Perhaps everything would have made sense in this very moment since his mind didn't function as it usually did.

He was a mess and not because of stupid teenager stuff like secretly trying alcohol for the first time or smoking something weird. He didn't break any rules, he didn't do the typical youthful mistakes everyone else did. No, he got broken by something entirely different. And his own little wall broke down because his parents did not love him at all while he hoped they would.

He climbed on his couch, leaned his head against his hand and breathed for a while before reaching for his phone inside his pocket.

_Ignis: I'm back._

It was such a untypical message from him considering how Ignis usually texted and spoke but his mind couldn't come up with anything else. The words said what he wanted to say and that was all that mattered. His phone found it's way on the couch next to him and he leaned his head back trying to calm down and handle the pain but it was so strong and irrational it brought tears to his eyes.

Would Gladio respond even though it was in the middle of the night?

He did.

Ignis reached out for his phone and read the text.

_Gladio: Are you alright? What happened to your smart words?_

Reading that he smiled for the first time since they left and it was all because of a short text. But now he was not alright and he didn't know when he would feel alright again.

He was sure only about one thing: Ignis didn't want to be alone.

But could he be so selfish and ask Gladio to come over? Would he do that for Ignis because of something both knew would have happened? Did friends do that for each other? He knew that at least he did stuff like that for Noctis, like taking the blame even though Ignis was not at fault and protecting him even though he did something stupid.

Ignis wanted to text back that he was not alright and that he didn't want to be alone. But the tears made it hard to see anything at all and his hands were shaking because this was not him. He managed to handle so many things on his own without relying on others, without needing comfort, but this felt like something he couldn't handle alone and it scared him alongside the pain he felt.

Ignis breathed for a long time, or at least it felt like that, and thought about taking a shower and going straight to bed. Maybe something familiar, normal and relaxing would help him.

But while he was thinking about his next move, he heard a, by now, familiar knock against his door. It was like his legs found their own will and somehow held him up while walking to the door.

He opened the door and there he was.

His tall, strong friend, dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, who he had missed so much it made no sense at all to him. Gladio stood there, breathless, but he was warm, so warm Ignis could feel it even though they were at arm’s length away from each other.

“Hey,” Gladio smiled while still catching his breath. Did he run there because of Ignis? Just for him?

“You didn't text back so I became worried,” Gladio said but Ignis couldn't speak. He just stared at his friend and tried to understand that this was real.

“Ignis?” Gladio spoke again and his hand reached out for Ignis, touching his cheek and his hand was so big and warm and soft… Ignis never imagined it to be this soft and gentle since he was so strong and tall. “Jeez, Ignis. You're cold.”

Gladio walked inside, his hand still warming up Ignis cheek while the other closed the door silently, in order to not wake up anyone living on the same floor. Then his other hand found its way to Ignis’ other cheek and all he could do was move his own trembling hands and weakly hold onto Gladio's arms. He had been aching for this warmth, for this touch, for so long and now it was burning into his ice cold skin and helping him realize how cold he actually was.

But he didn't say anything, he had no strength for words but he wanted to ask for so much. For Gladio to stay and hold him and warm him up so Ignis would finally know what it felt like to matter to someone, to be safe in someone’s arms.

“Come on. Change into your pajamas and then we can talk or I'll simply stay with you if that's what you need.”

Ignis nodded and did as Gladio told him without thinking too much. When he returned, dressed in his dark blue pajamas, Gladio was sitting on the couch and on the table was the green cup he gave Ignis so many weeks ago, filled with hot chocolate.

Was this real?

Ignis hoped it was and when Gladio smiled warm and gentle and patted the free spot to his left side, Ignis sat down and took the cup to take a sip. It tasted better than anything else he had ever drank in his life, perhaps simply because Gladio made it for him, took care of him. He finished half of it before he sat the cup back down and looked at Gladio.

“Feeling better?”

“I don't know,” Ignis admitted and felt the tears returning. “I don't know how to make myself feel better after today. I don't even understand why I'm this upset.”

Ignis took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes because he didn't want to cry in front of Gladio. He had never exposed himself like this towards anyone and he didn't want to make himself even more vulnerable. He had been strong all this time and now he couldn't and it made no sense at all considering the good life he had in Insomnia.

“When my mother left us, Iris and I went through the same, you know? We pretended for a long time that it didn't bother us,” Gladio started to say and Ignis listened to the voice he ached to hear. The voice that showed him that Gladio understood what he was going through the more he told. “But eventually we couldn't pretend anymore and when we met her she rejected us again. It hurt my sister more than me, but it still hurt. When you told me about your parents it reminded me of my mother and though I know it hurts a hell of a lot, it's better to face the truth in the end.”

“Your mother... rejected you?”

“She did. And looking at you I see the same thing happened to you. Iris looked the same way you do now,” Gladio said and ran his fingers through Ignis hair. “I had a feeling this would happen so I came running because I knew you wouldn't call for me or anyone else. But being alone after being rejected by your own parents isn't something you should go through. It's not a weakness to rely on others from time to time, Ignis.”

Ignis nodded because he really didn't have the strength to pretend or to send Gladio away. After all, he wanted him there and now that he was right next to him, Ignis wanted to show Gladio that he was learning how to let people in.

“I... don't want to to be alone tonight.”

“Then I'll stay,” Gladio smiled all wide and warm and reached out for the blanket before he held his arms open. “And I'll hold you all night so you won't feel alone.”

It was as if Gladio could read his mind but, perhaps, it simply was that Gladio knew how Ignis felt right now and what he needed, since they both had been rejected by the people who were supposed to love them unconditionally. That fact made sense to Ignis and that was why he didn't refuse Gladio's offer. He was in control over his life and he had known returning to his parents wouldn't end up good. Though he didn't imagine to feel so much pain over such a long destined fact. But he had more than just pain inside his heart, there was also this warmth coming to life whenever Gladio was with him and it made him feel better.

Ignis nodded and his aching hands finally touched what they touched in his dreams so many times, and his body finally got to know what it felt like to be embraced by the strong arms he had been admiring for so long. There he rested, right on Gladio's lap while his arms wrapped the blanket around his small shivering body and Ignis rested his hands on Gladio's chest while he listened to his heartbeat. It was strong, warm and fast just like Ignis’.

“You're still cold.” Gladio said.

Ignis nodded.

“And you're so small,” Gladio joked.

“I'll grow. Just wait.”

The laugh coming from Gladio made his whole body vibrate and reached places of Ignis heart he didn't know existed. But it was good and he wanted to feel this good for as long as possible. He wanted to feel more of the hand on his back, running soothingly up and down. He wanted to feel more of the other hand resting on his arm, wiping away some of his hair when it fell in his forehead and stroking his cheek to warm it up. He wanted to hear more of this strong big heart, more of Gladio's body-heat and more of the gentleness he didn't know Gladio had in him.

“You can cry if you want, okay? I won't look, I promise.” Gladio whispered.

And Ignis let his walls fall down.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know what you guys think :)


	6. Jealousy

 

When Ignis woke up the first thing he noticed was that his eyes hurt. It was a new sensation but he remembered that he had been crying a lot so that explained his burning eyes. Though, when he tried to move his arm to rub his eyes with his hand, he felt something heavy on his chest and something warm against his hair.

Slowly he opened his eyes and noticed that there was an arm, and not just that, there was a whole body right next to him taking over the space he usually had all to himself.

Realization hit him hard and fast and his mind recalled the previous evening in detail.

Gladio came over and comforted him and Ignis fell asleep in his arms.

Oh Gods. And Gladio was still there, lying right next to him so close that Ignis blood rushed down south immediately. His first thought was to untangle himself and run to the bathroom but his ears took in the sound of Gladio's even breathing so he decided to wait and watch because he wasn't sure if he would ever get the chance again.

He moved his head to his left side to see Gladio's face so close that he just needed to stretched his neck and he could taste his lips, feel if they were soft and warm as he imagined.

Wait...

Ignis wanted to kiss him? Did that mean he... was that what he had been feeling all along for his friend? Did he actually liked Gladio in a romantic way? Ignis read about love, stories about love and jealousy and its pain and beauty. He felt pain when he saw Gladiolus with other girls and he felt this strong, hot feeling that reminded him of how jealousy was described in books. Also, his body reacted like almost every body would in the company of the person they liked, aching to feel him close in any way possible.

Oh Gods, he was in love, wasn't he?

Perhaps he needed to be rejected by his parents face to face to realize that? To get this time with Gladio alone and finally realize what had been really happening in his heart for so many months?

But what was he supposed to do now with his feelings? Should he tell Gladio hoping that he felt the same way? Ignis somehow untangled himself from Gladio's arm and sat there while his eyes still watched him. His heart was beating, loud and clear and telling Ignis that this was how he felt. He was in love with Gladio and he didn't know what to do.

No, who said he needed to do anything? There was no reason to expose himself more and get hurt again because Gladio was, obviously, interested in girls and cared about Ignis as a friend, or a brother even. Yes, he was his friend, a good friend who came in the middle of the night when Ignis needed a friend and he wouldn't ruin this by saying how he felt out loud.

“Morning, Ignis,” Gladio mumbled and Ignis almost jumped after hearing his deep voice.

“Good morning,” he said as normal as possible and stood up from the couch. “I'm going to use the bathroom and then make some coffee.”

“Are you feeling better? You don't need to push yourself,” Gladio suggested.

“I'm fine,” Ignis said and went into the bathroom. When he returned, still in his pajamas since he had the day off, Gladio was already sitting at the kitchen table and flipping through a book Ignis had left there. Oh Gods, why did it happen today? Couldn't his stupid heart wait a while longer? Because now that he got a taste of what it felt like to be held by Gladio, he wanted more, so much more, and his body ached in an unfamiliar way.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Gladio,” Ignis managed to say after entering the kitchen.

“That's what friends are for, don't worry. I'd do it again,” Gladio smiled and closed the book as he rested his chin on his hands.

Friends, exactly. They were friends and Ignis wanted them to remain friends because Gladio was one of the people who wasn't scared to get a bit closer, physically even, as friends. All the things he did some hours ago didn't mean more than that and Ignis needed to accept that for now. He put his glasses back on his nose when he heard someone knocking on his door, knowing that it was the Prince.

Without hesitation Ignis went to the front door and opened it and a small Noctis, still dressed in his pajamas, stumbled inside to wrap his thin arms around Ignis middle. Surprised, Ignis closed the door while looking at Noctis, who buried his face right under Ignis chest and tighten his grip around him.

“Noctis, are you alright?” Ignis asked and heard Gladio walking towards them without saying a word.

“You're back,” Noctis mumbled against Ignis pajama top and it reminded Ignis of the nights when Noctis came to him because of a nightmare, looking for comfort. Back then he was still a child and the older he became the less he asked for Ignis comfort because it became probably embarrassing for him. Yet, it was a comforting feeling to see how much Noctis cared and that he had missed Ignis.

“I am indeed.”

Noctis looked up, finally, showing Ignis that he hadn't been crying but the mess his hair was and how warm his body still was, told Ignis that the moment Noctis woke up he ran there to see his friend and if he was alright. But before another word left his mouth, the Prince noticed another presence in the apartment and couldn't hide how surprised he was to see his shield.

“Good morning, Prince Charmless,” Gladio grinned.

“What are you doing here?” Noctis asked tightening his grip a bit more and Ignis was surprised about how strong the Prince had become.

“I came to see if Ignis is alright, just like you,” Gladio shrugged and Ignis felt grateful that he didn't tell Noct about what really happened. It was one thing for Gladio to see him all broken but a whole other affair when it came to Noctis. He didn't want the Prince to see him like that because he was the person who needed to be stronger when the King couldn't and he wanted Noctis to believe in that for as long as possible. Besides, it was good that Noctis was there because he was the perfect distraction.

“Don't worry about me. I'll fix us some breakfast, alright?”

Noctis blinked several times before he let go of Ignis and said: “Can I have pancakes?”

There was a groan bubbling inside his throat and trying to come out but Ignis swallowed it down. Today would be an exception and tomorrow he would try, again, to convince Noctis to eat something healthier.

Gladio barked a laugh while they returned to the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

January came and Ignis was lost in studying for their final exams, or rather, he was lost in helping others and Gladio. Ignis himself didn't have any issues no matter the subject, but others did and when Gladio asked Ignis to help him, others joined them soon after – at least those who cared, while everyone else refused to since they didn't like Ignis. He was fine with that and he didn't have any time to pay attention to them anyway. The closer he and Gladio became, the less the attacks became as well, simply because Gladio was glued to Ignis side.

At first Ignis didn't notice it – which wasn't surprising considering how much time he needed to understand his own feelings and what they meant – because he was occupied with sorting out everything that connected him to his parents. Gladio came over almost every evening to and help him and Ignis didn't think much about it,welcoming the presence of the person he loved. Though, when school started again, Ignis became aware of the change in their relationship.

Gladio was, by nature, a protective person and Ignis never thought much about it. But the way he guarded Ignis during their school days and how he always appeared out of nowhere, left Ignis wondering.

It started with Ignis leaving a meeting with the King and other people working for the crown and his hands were filled with papers and his briefcase wad under his arm, while talking over the phone with Noctis to remind him of his appointments. He was doing fine, really. But then Gladio appeared out of nowhere and made it his mission to help Ignis carry his things.

It was nothing since they ran into each other many times inside the citadel. But when Gladio did the same thing while they were at school or when Ignis ran errands for himself and the Prince, he couldn't help but think that it was a bit odd. It was one thing when Gladio helped him because Ignis needed help or asked for it but it was another thing when he did it even though Ignis was able to do it himself. He didn't quite like that since he took pride in being independent and being able to do most things on his own.

Then there was another change and Ignis noticed it when they studied together with other people. They were gathered together around four tables in their classroom and Gladio somehow always kept their bodies close. May it be their shoulders occasionally bumping into each other, or Gladio's frame hovering close to him when someone else got a bit too close to Ignis. Perhaps it was just Ignis body being hyper aware of Gladio's presence since that one night - and it meant nothing - , or there was really a change. Ignis couldn't tell for sure but the shame he felt during the nights while recalling this moments, vanished.

February he turned seventeen and while celebrating with Noctis, his uncle, the Amicitias and the King, their final exams were just around the corner and the tension within his study group grew. Ignis managed to not snap at anyone while others didn't and then Gladio jumped right in and called them out, telling everyone to leave Ignis alone. He didn't like that atmosphere and excused himself to go to the restroom. Luckily it was empty and he spent several seconds breathing and splashing cold water on his face. One more week and they would all calm down, he thought, so he decided to go back.

But outside Alina, Bennet and Kenneth were, obviously, waiting for him.

All he gave them was one meaningless look, continuing walking back, when he felt something cold hitting his back. It smelled sweet and it became sticky within moments and when Ignis turned around he saw Alina holding a plastic cup and something orange colored dripping from its rim.

“Oops! Sorry doggy, you better run to your owner so he can take care of you,” Bennet snickered.

“I doubt he wants to appear in front of Gladio like that. All dirty and pathetic,” Kenneth added and the words didn't bother Ignis much, he heard worse. What alarmed him was Alina's cold glare, as if he was her enemy and had ruined her life.

“Yeah, Gladio doesn't like pathetic people who can't stand up for themselves,” Alina snarled and Ignis clenched his fists.

Jealousy, Ignis thought. He got a taste of Alina's jealousy here and there during the school year but he never reacted to it and gave her what she wanted. Today though he felt how his head started to hurt and he felt tired of dealing with her stupidity. If Gladio decided to spent more time with him than with anyone else, it was his decision and not Ignis' fault. His understanding nature didn't function today and he couldn't stop the words coming from his mouth.

“The only pathetic existence I see here is yours.”

His ears took in the sound of Alina screaming something but his view turned black when her fist hit his face and he fell to the ground. Yes, humans were unpredictable, Ignis was aware of that and yet he never considered someone would actually punch him since he was working for the King. At least no citizen of Insomnia. He had been wrong and now his nose was bleeding and more noise could beheard behind him.

“Ignis!”

It was Gladio's voice who brought him back to reality but he was too busy looking at his blood covered fingers. Then he felt on his shoulder the warm hand his body was aching for every moment he wasn't distracted by something else, and looked up. Gladio's eyes, brown liquid and shining with worry examined him before he turned to the other three people and a growl quaked inside his throat.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Gladio barked.

He heard them argue but all Ignis could care about was if his glasses were unharmed and luckily that was the case. He then reached into his pockets to get out tissues to clean himself, even though he was in a desperate need for a shower.

“He ran into us, we didn't do anything,” Bennet lied and Ignis rolled his eyes after hearing that. Anyone who knew Ignis knew that he would have never accidentally ran into anyone and hurt himself since he kept a close eye on, and listened, everything around him. If things like that happened it was because Ignis carried too many things in his arms, as he sometimes did after spending hours in the library and returned with more books than he could carry.

“Stop lying, Bennet. The three of you have been after Ignis for a year now. Don't you think we've noticed that?” someone, who was not Gladio, said, and it surprised Ignis. Besides Gladio no one ever stood up for him like that.

“You call his shirt soaked in juice and his nose bleeding an accident?” a girl asked upset.

Ignis heard more voices defending him but he didn't have the strength to listen to every word because his head started to hurt and he felt more and more uncomfortable in his sticky clothes. With the tissue still pressed against his nose, he made the motions to stand up and Gladio offered his arm to help him.

“Let's go home,” Ignis said and ignored the three idiots but made his way back into the classroom to get his things. Gladio followed him just like the others did and when they asked Ignis how he felt or if he needed something he said that he was fine and that he only needed a shower.

Ignis packed his things, said goodbye to the others and left the building with Gladio. The blood was still running from his nose but it became less and less and he nodded as a thanks whenever Gladio handed him another tissue.

“How are you feeling?” Gladio asked after they left the bus and walked towards the Citadel.

“I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt that much. Her ability to punch someone wasn't the best, that's for certain.” Ignis said and noticed that the bleeding finally stopped.

“I never thought she would actually punch you,” Gladio said after they entered the Citadel and both noticed the surprised looks everyone they met was giving them. Of course, seeing Ignis with blood under his nose and his clothes messy was certainly a new and unusual sight. He didn't want anyone to see him in that state so he walked a bit faster and pushed the button of the elevator a bit more forceful than usual.

“Did you call her out or something?” Gladio asked when the elevator started and Ignis still wiped at his nose, trying to clean his face, but probably makingit worse.

“I might have said something about her existence being pathetic compared to mine.”

“For real?” Gladio asked surprised.

“Well, I can't say she didn't deserve it.”

His motivation had different cores. One was that Ignis became tired of their constant need to harass him, another was that he didn't like how they talked about him and the relationship he had with Gladio. He was no dog, nor was he less important or did he need Gladio to help him every moment of his life. He had to admit that hearing that hurt his pride because there was a difference between relying on people and helping as a friend, but making himself completely depended was not in Ignis nature. He knew what he could do and what not, and he had come to terms with the fact that certain things weren't his strength.

Also, if Alina – no matter how stupid she might have been – noticed how close they were, Ignis feared that someone might see how he truly felt about Gladio. It was a silly thought because, so far, no one but the people really close to him, had managed to look through his facade. The only one who sometimes managed to, was Gladio.

Ignis gasped when a new thought bloomed in his mind.

Did Gladio know? Was that the reason behind their closeness?

No, Gladio wasn't a person who played with people’s emotions. He was a protective and gentle person by nature while also being threatening, tall and strong. Gladio joked around with Noctis too and with his sister. He hugged and teased them with silly jokes, using his strength and taller body for that as well. He behaved like a big, loving brother and Ignis wondered if his behavior towards Ignis was the same.

They left the elevator together and it wasn't something odd because they studied together a lot in the past weeks and mainly at Ignis apartment since he was living alone – Gladio thought it was a better place to study otherwise his little sister would distract them.

Gladio made his way to the kitchen to get a cool pack while Ignis went to his bedroom to get a fresh pair of clothes and take a shower right after.

He felt better after the shower and when he looked into the mirror he wasn't sure if his nose was actually okay. Noctis never hurt his nose and Ignis had no experience when it came to bruises, but Gladio did, so he didn't say anything after he joined the shield, who was waving with the cool pack in his hand, in the living room.

Ignis sat down next to him and took the cool pack to press it against his nose.

“It doesn't hurt?” Gladio asked while he watched Ignis.

“Not really. I suppose it's not broken, right?” Ignis asked and turned his body to Gladio so he could face him properly.

He did it for one, to be certain his nose was alright but also to see if his theory held any sort of truth.

Did Gladio treat him and touch him in a different way compared to anyone else? His eyes remained on Gladio's face and when his large hands touched his cheeks and his thumbs gently felt along his nose, Ignis almost closed his eyes so he could enjoy the feeling he always anticipated and Gladio gave him - consciously or unconsciously didn't even matter in this moment. Ignis was on a weird high since he called Alina and her friends out but also because so many people defended him. It made him feel like he could do things he usually didn't have the courage to do or thought they better remained undone and say things he thoughtwere better unsaid.

Was this what it felt like to be young and stupid? Doing things instinctively not thinking about consequences but trusting his feelings and his gut?

“It's not broken,” Gladio confirmed.

“That's good,” Ignis said and placed his hands over Gladio's just to feel their gentleness and softness under his fingertips. The more he felt and the longer he held Gladio's hands, Ignis became more and more lightheaded.

“Your hands are soft and... warm. Gentle too,” Ignis said slowly as he guided Gladio's hands away from his face and enjoyed the view of their joined hands for a while longer. He wondered if with their fingers intertwined their hands would fit perfectly and he wanted to try but his mind was still clear enough to stop him. Still, the thought alone gave his heart the permission to jump merciless inside his chest and washed away the ache his body felt every day.

Gladio chuckled and squeezed Ignis hands: “And strong. I almost punched those three idiots but I doubt you would have liked that. Actually, I feel pretty proud that you called them out. Knowing that only confirms that your sass is much bigger than I thought.”

Ignis laughed himself and nodded his head slowly. Right, he felt pretty proud himself for doing that more often now and it was something he had learned from Gladio, and something he was practicing since he broke off every connection to his parents. He wondered if the shield knew how much he had learned from him, that Ignis wasn't there to please people only but that he was allowed to draw clear lines between himself and the people who were no good in his life.

“And you're cute when you laugh,” Gladio whispered suddenly closer so Ignis could feel his breath against his face.

He was used to Gladio's constant flirting and though he waved it off most of the time and called Gladio cheeky or told him that he had no filter at all, he liked even though he never quite believed his words. He heard Gladio calling other girls cute and compliment their looks etc. Being gentle, kind and trying to make people feel good and special was part of him but he was also great in showing people their place and push them to reach their best in a pretty harsh way – as he saw whenever Noctis practiced with his shield.

Right now however, Ignis could tell that his words meant something else. Sure, he still had his difficulties when it came to reading people and understanding the basics of what it meant to feel, to joke, to simply be human. But he had been spending so much time with Gladio that he could tell when he was joking and when he wasn't at least.

Now, he wasn't joking.

Gladiolus Amicitia was serious and Ignis could tell because he had never heard him speaking these words like that.

Almost scared to look up he did it anyway and when he saw that Gladio's cheeks were red, his own face became red, all barriers forgotten. He wanted to hide the way he felt in order to keep this friendship alive, but it was probably too late. Also it made him slightly upset that because of Gladio's tan skin it was harder to see a blush on his face, while Ignis with his pale skin, couldn't do much to hide it.

His mind was suddenly clearer than he liked it to be, his senses hyper aware of how close Gladio was and his eyes lost in the brown liquid he liked to drown in, getting dizzy.

“Can I kiss you?” Gladio asked and Ignis breathing quickened.

He had never liked to be touched by others when it was entirely unnecessary and inappropriate. Comforting Noctis was something different since he felt and was responsible for him and the Prince needed more comfort than Ignis. May it be because of the lack of love from his parents or maybe it was simply in Ignis nature. He didn't know and it never bothered him much because it never became an issue, really. Gladio had been the only person he let close because he needed and wanted it and afterwards it made him feel rather uncomfortable but happy at the same time.

Perhaps Gladiolus was aware of that and that's why he asked, or he was a gentleman just like his father. Whatever it was, Ignis wondered if it was luck that he fell in love with a person who still understood his complex character and asked, as if he knew Ignis needed to be warned about what was to happen. As if he knew Ignis literally had no experience at all when it came to these things.

But for Gladio?

Ignis realized he would do so many things, break so many rules he set for himself and, though it scared him, he wanted it. Gods, he wanted to finally know what it felt like to be kissed by the person he had been loving for so long.

“Yes,” Ignis whispered suddenly feeling nervous because... how did kissing function?

He had never kissed anyone and Gladio seemed to have some sort experience, right?

Ignis cursed himself for never asking about these things but it would have been too obvious, he always reasoned.

His mind was racing, driving him mad with question he couldn't answer now and it was too late anyway. He had given his permission and all he could do was nervously tremble, squeeze his eyes shut and trust that Gladio knew what he was doing.

The moment their lips touched his brain didn't produce anything for the first time in his life. All he could focus on were primal things. The feeling of warm, soft lips on his, the large hand strong and so gentle cupping his face to keep him close and not shy away. There was so much happening inside him that Ignis felt like he would lose his mind, or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he almost forgot how to breath.

Yet, beside the clumsiness, the weird angle and the unfamiliar feeling, Ignis melted and his control got lost somewhere he couldn't reach. Instincts took over and his trembling hands found Gladio's, holding them so he had an anchor and felt that he was still there in reality and not leaving his body.

The kiss was simple, short, nothing compared to the kisses he saw in movies or between young couples at school.

And it was perfect.

When Gladio pulled away, his hand remained on Ignis face, his thumb running soothing circles over Ignis cheek and eventually he opened his eyes as well. The view in front of him was one he had never seen before. Gladio looked happy, a different kind of happy, as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders and his beautiful eyes were shining, softness taking over his hard features and Ignis wondered if he looked the same way and if he was the reason for that expression.

How could one person be so beautiful, he wondered.

“I've wanted to do this for so long,” Gladio spoke low, breathless, because Ignis couldn't. He was still in his own little world but slowly his mind demanded his attention and threw question after question at him.

What did this kiss mean? Since when did Gladio wanted to kiss him? Was it okay? How did you teach yourself how to kiss properly so you wouldn't leave the other person unsatisfied? Did Gladio like men? More and more questions attacked his mind while his body was still sensitive, aware of Gladio's hands and warmth but his mouth didn't move. He noticed, though, that there was a weird smell and taste coming from it.

“Shit, where are the tissues,” Gladio hissed and his hand left Ignis cheek – which made Ignis almost whine – but reached for his free hand instead while the other – Ignis completely unaware – reached for his nose.

Warm luquid, his mind told him, and he realized his nose was bleeding again.

Gladio handed him a handful of tissues and Ignis pressed them against his nose to not ruin his clothes or the couch. Right, Alina hit him and his body needed some rest and no kissing that drove his bloodstream wild.

“Was the kiss _that_ good?” Gladio joked, teasing Ignis and he wanted to glare at him and call him out but he settled for his new found sass.

“Don't flatter yourself, Amicita.”

Gladio laughed and the tense atmosphere finally vanished into this comfortable bond they've created between each other. Yes, Gladio always managed to calm him down and he couldn't help but smile when he looked at their joined hands and finally understood what had happened. He kissed the person he loved and, apparently the person he loved, liked him in return, right?

The tissue still pressed to his nose, Ignis turned his face to look at the shield and wanted to ask, but he didn't need to. Gladio gave him the answer, as if he could read his mind.

“I like you, Ignis. Have been for some time now.”

Ignis nodded because words still were hard for him – even though they were his weapon. For now he could only squeeze Gladio's hand in return as if to confirm that, yes, he liked Gladio too. Still, he had questions, he needed answers and he needed time for himself. Now that his mind worked as usual he needed a certain distance to sort out his thoughts before he could take more in.

“I'm going to wash my face,” Ignis announced and left the couch, letting go of the hand he wanted to hold a bit longer but worried it might burn his skin.

Gladio followed him, respecting the distance Ignis obviously needed and leaned against the door frame while Ignis washed his face.

“I... have questions but-” Ignis started.

“You need time, I get it,” Gladio nodded and he didn't look disappointed or hurt. He smiled, warm and understanding. “I'll come by later?”

“We should study don't you think? Our final exams are starting tomorrow.”

Being a rational person was a curse sometimes, but that was in his nature and Ignis didn't want to be distracted when he needed to be focused on something that would determine his future.

“So cold,” Gladio mumbled and for a moment Ignis felt like he did something wrong, like... he had hurt Gladio. But then his friend smiled and reached out for his hand to kiss the back of it.

“I understand. I get how important stuff like that is to you.”

His words were gentle, his voice soothing and the primal urge to move closer and kiss him again was strong, but Ignis resisted.

Who knew if he would be able to stop once he started again.

“So, after the exams?” Gladio continued.

“I'd appreciate it.”

“Good, but I'm allowed to text you if I have questions, right? About the exams I mean.”

Ignis nodded slowly, smiling because he felt happy that Gladio understood and didn't think he was behaving weirdly. Any other person would have ignored the exams just to kiss some more and spend more time together. Ignis wasn't that person and felt certain that Gladio knew what he was getting himself into, just like Ignis knew that he was in for a roller coaster.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They did it! Let me know what you think and thanks for all your words! I'm almost done with chapter 7 so the wait shouldn't be long :)


	7. Secret

 

During the day Ignis was his usual self. He was composed, focused, and he was doing his tasks with the most accuracy and punctuality possible.

The next day, when he left the Citadel to go to school, he got asked what had happened and Ignis explained that he had got into an argument and accidentally hurt. They all showed sympathy for him and without hesitation believed him when he said that it was not his fault. Of course, Ignis Scientia never got into a physical fight ever. His weapons were his words and his composure, which riled people up even more apparently.

But Ignis changed after his first kiss shared with the person he loved. and he noticed the change the moments he wasn't busy with something. Like when he and Gladio met in the morning to go to school together and stood closer than before during their bus drive. Or when no one was watching and Gladio talked about whatever with his classmates while his fingers reached out for Ignis hand to communicate without words.

Gladio wouldn't have been Gladio if he didn't test the boundaries Ignis had set and Ignis did not complain because he still got the space he asked for. Gladio respected Ignis' limits and didn't try anything whenever he saw that Ignis was clearly focused on something else.

When they talked it wasn't about them but school, Noctis and their duty, just like they said they would.

Yet, Ignis enjoyed the silent moments when they only communicated through looks and an innocent, simple touch as if to confirm 'Yes, I still remember and, yes, I like you'.

But they confused him at the same time.

During his evenings when it was just him and a book, his mind recalled the kiss over and over again – the green cup from Gladio became his favorite and was a daily reminder as well - and Ignis blushed hard, grinning like an idiot while clutching his pillow even if it wasn't big enough.

It wasn't as broad as Gladio and it wasn't warm at all.

But that was all he could handle for now and whenever he thought about when their exams would be over and he would have more free time, the thought of kissing Gladio again made him nervous.

The first time he didn't really care. He had been on an odd high and wanted to dare, do more and know more.

Now he hid under his blanket when his thoughts went further and his body became all hot because he no longer needed to wish and dream. All his wishes and dreams could come true because Gladio liked him back, Gladio kissed him, Gladio touched him. Even his flirting towards others became less and less and settled down to a friendly chat.

That Gladio did all of that for Ignis, because of Ignis, still seemed unreal to him, simply because he wasn't used to someone doing something for him.

 

* * *

 

“When are your exams over?” Noctis asked with a groan when he visited Ignis for dinner.

Unlike his other classmates, Ignis did not need to spend hours learning since he simply remembered and understood everything the moment he heard it. Well, that was the case when it came to logical things like math.

But when it came to emotions and human relationships – which followed no logic at all – he still had a hard time. But it was beginning to change, so he didn't try to push himself. But it was easier said than done because he may have done some research about kissing and what it meant to be together with someone, just to blush more and end up frustrated, wondering if he could even do all of that.

Damn his need to be prepared for everything and know everything beforehand.

“In a week,” Ignis said and arched an eyebrow. “Why are you asking?”

“Because Gladio is freaking insufferable. He's so pent up with something and he's taking it out on me.”

“Well, exams are stressful. Especially when you're about to attend your last school year. Everyone is worried about their future,” Ignis explained, though he had to admit it sounded a bit odd.

Gladio hadn't been worried at all when they were studying together nor did he look stressed. Sure, he had his difficulties with certain subjects, but he simply needed a bit longer to understand all the things that for Ignis were easy. Or maybe Ignis simply didn't notice how stressed Gladio actually was.

“But he has a job. He'll be my shield so he doesn't need to be worried about that,” Noctis said and took another bite from his fried chicken pushing aside all the vegetables – to Ignis frustration.

“That might be true but that doesn't mean he'll take his duty halfheartedly. We care about you as a friend but also as the future King and we want to give you the best support possible,” Ignis said as a matter of fact.

“I know that,” Noctis said and when Ignis looked up he came faceto face with a suspicious look from the Prince.

“Is there something on my face?” Ignis asked eventually when Noctis didn't stop staring at him.

“I don't know. It's like you and Gladio have changed. He is a bit more like you when I think about it but you're also... a bit like him? You rarely talk about emotions and stuff like that.”

Inside Ignis literally froze because he felt like Noctis could read his mind and see what was going on there. Outside he remained calm and said: “We became friends and we learn from each other, I suppose.”

Noctis expression changed to a pleased one and Ignis liked to see that. He wanted him to be happy.

“Good that you two are friends.”

“I agree.”

“But Gladio is even more strict thanusual. You should teach him to be less pushing,” Noctis suggested.

“Are you saying I'm spoiling you?”

“I would never,” Noctis grinned and returned to eating. Ignis simply chuckled.

Right, he took his duty with all seriousness while Gladio had been the easy going guy all along. They learned from each other to be either less serious or more relaxed.

“How's school? Were you able to make some friends?” Ignis asked to distract himself and not think about Gladio.

“School's fine but friends... I wouldn't say that. At the beginning they were all nice but then they asked if I could invite them somewhere because I'm rich. So... not really.”

Ignis knew that Noctis wasn't a lonely child. Everyone in the Citadel adored him, even though he could be a bit grumpy and sometimes act spoiled – he couldn't deny that, really. But he still felt bad for his Prince and the lack of friendship. Not to forget that his father became busier and they didn't see each other as often as they used to and Ignis knew for a fact that it wouldn't change back in the near future. It was decided that Noctis would live on his own when he started to attend high school since it was his wish. But it was also so Noctis would gain more independence and learn about the life of a normal citizen.

Ignis didn't know where to start when it came to finding a part time job for Noctis since he wasn't the best when it came to socializing.

“I'm sure you'll be doing fine, Your Highness,” Ignis reassured and it wasn't just to make Noctis feel better.

He really believed in that.

 

* * *

 

Ignis sighed when he finished writing his last answer for his test and not because the test was hard – for Ignis the tests were far too easy – but for the fact that it was his last test of the semester.

He left his place quietly and handed the papers to his teacher before he left the room. It was something he usually didn't do, but today was an exception because Gladio had texted him early in the morning asking if they wanted to meet for a late lunch.

He didn't specifically say it was a date but since they kissed and kept on being close wordlessly, Ignis couldn't help himself but wonder if it would be some sort of date.

As quiet as possible Ignis left the classroom and then walked a bit faster than usual to the exit because Gladio was already there waiting for him, since he left earlier than Ignis. It happened in other courses as well, that Gladio finished his test sooner than Ignis did. It sort of confused him when it happened because he had been sure that Gladio would need longer, and when he would text him and asked if Gladio did well, he would text back a simple ‘I guess so. I've answered all questions.’

But all of that became unimportant when he finally reached the exit and saw, from the distance, Gladio standing there, waiting forhim. His steps became slower while his heartbeat quickened and his body ached for Gladio's touch. He was like a magnet, like a light, drawing Ignis in.

And he couldn't escape.

He didn't want to escape but he also didn't want to get too close because he was scared of getting burned.

And he was shy.

Yes, Ignis Scientia was shy, maybe more confused, especially when he thought about what they could do, like kissing more.

Oh God, he still didn't know how to properly do that.

It looked so easy in all the videos he had seen, but actually doing it was a whole new level.

He had no experience and it bothered him, scared him even, and he couldn't gather any sort of experience since he wasn't interested in anyone but Gladio.

“Ready to go?” Gladio beamed at him and that smile made Ignis almost melt.

“Yes. Do you have a place in mind?” Ignis asked and was relieved that his voice did not show how worked up he was.

“I do. Wanna know or be surprised?”

“I suppose I can trust you enough and trust that you know I'm not up for some Cup Noodle adventure.”

Gladio laughed and shook his head no.

“No, I wouldn't even dare. Anyway, shall we go?”

Ignis looked down at the hand that Gladio held out to him and his fingers trembled to reach out for it, hold it and feel his skin and warmth. Still, he hesitated, wondering if he was ready for that, if he wanted people to know what happened and, potentially, was between them.

He looked back to Gladio, eyes meeting and showing him that he wasn't sure what to do, something Ignis rarely did. Gladio, however, was the one of the two of them who knew more about relationships and emotions and Ignis needed his help here.

“Too soon, huh? That's okay. We said we would talk first and we'll do that,” Gladio said and Ignis didn't see any sign of disappointment, which was putting him at ease.

They went to the bus station and took a bus to the heart of the city where Ignis had been many times to visit restaurants - even if he still hadn't managed to try them all out.

He followed Gladio and was glad about the warm weather and clear sky, feeling that spring was close. Didn't people say that most people fell in love during spring? Ignis couldn't help himself but look at Gladio, not really paying attention to where he was going, wondering if that was the case. Were their feelings the same? And for how long Gladio actually liked him?

After their kiss Gladio did say that he had wanted to do it for a long time, but Ignis never thought that was possible. How could he when Gladio flirted with so many people?

“Over there, there's a nice little café,” Gladio said and pointed to the riverside where Ignis hadn't been until now.

He couldn't find the café at first but then he found it. It truly was a little café, one you wouldn't find by simply passing by but only knowing about it or being a local.

“They have delicious cakes and coffee with various degree of sweetness. I know you don't really like sweets, so I thought that would be a good place,” Gladio admitted proudly and Ignis almost blushed. How much did he actually know about Ignis?

“Should I be concerned about how much you know about me?” Ignis asked when they approached the café.

“I would feel flattered actually, if I was you,” Gladio grinned at him.

Ignis almost rolled his eyes when he saw that stupid grin on his face but he actually did feel flattered and smiled a little when Gladio didn't look.

They sat down at one of the round dark tables outside and Ignis reached out for the menu to see what they had in store. So far he hadn't tried much pastries, focusing first on typical things for dinner and lunch and slowly expanding.

This would definitely be a new experience in more than one way, he thought.

After the waiter came and they told him what they wanted, Ignis sat straight, hands folded together while Gladio sat across from him, still smiling and leaning his head into his left hand, not even trying to hide that he was obviously watching Ignis. For a second Ignis wished to be just as bold and open but he wasn't, and he hoped Gladio also knew that.

Because their kiss happened in a moment in which Ignis felt like he could do anything and deserved everything. Now, imagining he could lean over and ask for a kiss, seemed to be impossible because he would die of embarrassment.

“So. You said you have questions,” Gladio was the first who spoke.

“I do. Though I don't know where to begin,” Ignis admitted and it felt weird to admit that.

Usually Ignis knew what to do and how to find a solution but this situation was entirely different from any other moment in his life.

He was sitting there with the person he had been in love with for so long and he wanted to say so many things, but at the same time he had no idea where to start and how to do it. He wasn't even sure what he exactly wanted or if Gladio wanted the same so he had no other choice but ask questions he never thought he would need to say out loud.

“I was wondering for... how long you wanted to... uh-”

“Kiss you?” Gladio said it for him and Ignis blushed, obvious this time.

With a simple nod he confirmed Gladio's question and used his hand to push up his glasses but also to hide his face for some seconds.

“I've always been interested in you, since I couldn't figure you out but knew we would work together for the rest of our lives. But it turned romantic after you returned from your parents. It had been there all along but I truly understood what I was feeling that night,” Gladio said while he remembered. “But I wasn't sure if you even wanted to have a romantic relationship with anyone. Or if you even were interested in me since we're very different.”

Ignis nodded slowly to show his agreement.

“To be honest, and don't get this the wrong way, it surprised me that I have romantic feelings for you. But then... feelings never make sense.” Gladio said.

“You're surprised that you have feelings for a man or for me?” Ignis inquired, curiously.

Gladio thought for a while before he answered: “I don't really care if it's a man or a woman. What I mean is simply that we're different and yet it somehow feels right, you know?”

“I understand,” Ignis was relieved to hear that because, he himself, was sure that he wasn't interested in the female gender at all. “And I'm surprised myself that I... uh... feel something for you.” He hated the blush that gave away how flustered he was and he wished he was older, more experienced, so it wouldn't happen.

Gladio looked like this was nothing. Like he already gathered tons of experience when it came to relationships.

Slowly he looked back up to see a pleased smile on Gladio's lips, which caused another shiver to run up his spine. Gods, he hated this uncertainty and none existing knowledge.

“Have you been in a relationship before?” Ignis asked when he found the ability to talk again.

“No, I haven't,” Gladio said but Ignis didn't believe him and looked suspiciously at him.

“What? Don't look at me like that. I mean I like to flirt and all of that but that's simply who I am.”

“You mean charming everyone whenever all you want?” Ignis asked and remembered all the times he had been burning with jealousy while watching Gladio being a bit too friendly with the people around him.

But he wasn't wrong.

Gladiolus did have a certain charm and wooed people, in and outside of the Citadel, without any agenda behind it. He was who he was just like Ignis kept his time to socialize to a minimum.

“Do I detect some sort of jealousy?” Gladio asked far too amused to Ignis liking and he looked down, blushing harder than ever before. Was he really so easy to read for Gladio? Ignis still had to decide if this was a good or a bad thing.

“I'm just teasing, sorry. My charm and all I guess. But I don't do it anymore.”

Ignis noticed that his flirting did became less and he was happy about that but the thought that Gladio changed his natural behavior because of him didn't sit right with Ignis. He didn't want people to change because of him and, as usual, even if it was Gladio's decision, he took the responsibility.

“You don't have to do this because of me. People will think it's strange,” Ignis reasoned because it was the right thing for him.

“But it upsets you, right?”

Right, it did.

Ignis nodded slowly looking down to his hands again. He really didn't like to see the person he liked being close with others - who obviously had some interest in Gladio.

Who knew he could be such a jealous person…

“You really suck at these things, huh? Feelings and all,” Gladio chuckled but before Ignis could feel upset and say something Gladio's hands reached out for his and held them, gentle and warm, as if to give his next words more meaning. “I won't do it because I like you and I don't want anyone else. And I even like the things you suck at, too.”

Ignis closed his mouth and watched their joined hands, his pale skin fitting so perfectly to Gladio's rather tan skin color. His long delicate fingers resting on those big, strong fingers, which would never let go of him no matter what. This little moment, just their hands resting together as if they belonged together, brought Ignis to a decision he had tried to make since they kissed. And when he looked back up and saw that Gladio was watching their hands as well, with a warm smile and his cheeks blushing slightly, there was no going back anymore.

He wanted this, he wanted to be with Gladio.

“I do, as you say, suck at these things so I'm not certain how to go on from here. I've never been in a relationship before and I've never felt anything romantic for anyone. So all of this is fairly new to me. But I know that I'd like to spend more time with you.”

There. It was out.

Ignis didn't know he could feel this vulnerable. He didn't say the three big words because he understood their meaning and that no one should say them lightly. He trusted his gut feeling in this which said that he did feel a lot for Gladio but love, _that_ kind of _love_ , wasn't it yet.

“Same,” Gladio smiled at him, the blush becoming a deeper red and Ignis liked to see it. Sure, he also liked the confident Gladiolus Amicitia, but this one was one of his favorites as well. “I'd like to know more about you too. And, believe it or not, this is new to me as well.”

Ignis wanted to believe him but Gladio's behavior forced him to believe in something else. Though, if he couldn't believe and trust Gladio's words, was there even a point in starting anything? Maybe they could be friends with benefits? Ignis almost gagged only thinkingabout it because he would never have so little respectfor himself. He was a person who committed fully to everything he did.

And Gladio didn't deserve less.

“I believe you,” Ignis confirmed and watched Gladio's shoulders fall as if a burden had been lifted off of them.

Was he nervous? It was hard to tell, but it seemed like that.

“Are you... nervous?” Ignis needed to ask so he could be certain.

“Fuck yeah I am. I never thought this would become reality since you're way out of my league.”

Wow, okay, that was definitely a new side of Gladio, who never seemed to think lowly of himself. This side was endearing and charming but also making Ignis feel something he never felt before and never wished to be.

Special.

He also felt slightly uncomfortable that Gladio viewed him as someone better, smarter... just more than himself. Because Ignis did not. The rude behavior from the people from his hometown taught him that no one was better or worse than the others and he had learned that everyone was equal from his uncle and from the King – even from the Prince. Ignis followed their example because that was the right thing to do.

He was about to say that there was nothing special about him and that he was just another human being, but he also learned from Gladio to accept compliments and not ruin it for the other person, who, obviously, wanted Ignis to feel good. So he settled for a sassy remark just to hear Gladio laugh.

“In this case you shall do your best so I won't change my mind.”

Gladio did laugh while his thumb ran soothing circles over the back of Ignis hand.

Without a word he let that feeling sink in, watching their hands and trying to get used to the feeling of being touched in a loving way, which should have been something familiar instead of something that made him nervous and uncertain. He would learn, he thought. One day he would get used to it and enjoy this feeling without any doubts or unnecessary thoughts.

However, the moment he heard the waiter coming back with their orders, Ignis pulled his hand back, hid it under the table and hoped no one saw them. Right, people knew them as the shield and sword of the future King and people believed in them and expected from them to do good. What would they say if they saw them like that? What would they say if they knew they were in a relationship? Would they question their seriousness and commitment to Noctis? Ignis wasn't sure about the outcome if this would ever come out, but he wasn't a person who took risks.

He thought about everything long and hard, considering every aspect, until he came to a decision.

“I have one condition though,” Ignis said when it was just him and Gladio again.

“A condition?” Gladio asked while he took a sip of his tea.

“Yes. If we decide to be in a relationship I wish this to remain a secret for now.”

“A secret? Why? Do you think someone would be against us? Because I doubt that the King or my dad would say anything against us. In fact, I think my father would only hug you and beg you to teach me some manners,” Gladio said jokingly but also with a certain seriousness.

That surprised Ignis if he was honest.

He knew that Clarus liked him and that he praised him a lot, but he never imagined that he thought so highly of Ignis. Somehow, knowing that, made the weight on his shoulders a bit heavier because he didn't want to disappoint Gladio's father either. God, only now he realized that he would have to face Gladio's family and prove himself as worthy – what Gladio didn't need to do in Ignis case.

“It's not about that,” Ignis said after he found his words again. “When I do something I do it with the most accuracy and with full commitment. But being in a relationship is new to me and not something I can learn through a book. I need to gather experience being in one myself before I want anyone to know and people to talk.”

“So what you are saying is that you want to know if we work out or not before going public?” Gladio asked and Ignis couldn't tell if he liked the idea or not because Gladio's face was neutral.

“I don't want to disappoint. That's all, I guess,” Ignis confessed and let out a breath. Yes, he couldn't disappoint. Being responsible for whatever failure or mistake and its aftermath was his biggest fear.

And he also didn't want to disappoint Gladio and waste his time because Ignis didn't know what to do.

“Okay,” Gladio said after a while. “If you want this to be a secret, I'm okay with that.”

“Really?” Ignis asked.

“Yeah. I mean, if that's the condition so I can call you my boyfriend, I'm fine with that.”

“You... don't think it's weird?”

“Coming from you? No. I get it, I think. It's an experience we both need to make and it might come across as easy for me to you, but it's not. I'm... as unsure and nervous as you are,” Gladio explained.

Ignis said nothing for a while and reached out for his cup of coffee to distract himself for some seconds before he looked back up to watch Gladio, who was still smiling... and it made Ignis smile in return.

Yes, he felt happy. The happiest he had ever been.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the late update. My time for writing is very limited right now but I hope that will change soon. Also, my beta is going on vacation so I can't promise that I'll update during the next two weeks - even though the chapter is almost done. But we both will do our best. Thanks for all the comments and kudos, it's really important for us writers to hear from you :) even if it's a simple 'thank you' share it with us. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	8. Boyfriend

 

Gladiolus Amicitia was a strong person, physically and mentally. He was the eldest son of the Amicitia family and the shield of the future King, Prince Noctis, following his father's footsteps.

His family was respected by the people working for the crown but also by the people of Insomnia and Gladiolus was fun to be around, as many liked to say.

And he was.

With Gladio around, it never got boring and it was easy for him to connect with people and talk about anything. It was in his nature to get along with other people, to joke and make others feel comfortable and good, something not a lot of people would have believed looking at him.

He was tall, big, build to protect, to threaten and to save, but inside he had a warm, gentle part no one really knew about.

And _that_ Gladio was now his boyfriend, which Ignis still couldn't believe.

But there they were, Ignis once again surprised, about the warmth and gentleness Gladio had inside him.

They left the cafe and walked home, choosing a path which was less crowded just to hold hands – Gladio asked for it all the time and Ignis eventually gave in, when he felt certain that no one would see them. His eyes wandered down from time to time, watching their hands - his pale, Gladio's tanned - and how perfectly they fit together, even though his was so small compared to Gladio's.

When he didn't look, Ignis focused on the feeling of Gladio's warmth, the softness of his skin - which he expected to be rather rough but it wasn't. It was strong, holding him with a reassuring strength but not rough, even though his hands held so many swords and went through so much training.

But besides all of that Ignis was most surprised about what a simple hand holding was doing to him. His heart was jumping with great joy and his body was buzzing because of it. There was a weird warmth inside him, keeping alive a fire he only ever felt with Gladio around. All of this had constantly been there during the past days when Gladio crossed the lines they both agreed on. It had been small but it had been there. Now it was bigger, filling him and reaching parts of him he didn't know even existed.

Whenever it became too much he thought about letting go of Gladio's hand, but the thought alone of no longer being able to feel his safe grip and warmth, was enough to change his mind.

They didn't talk really, letting a comfortable silence surround them while they walked closer to the main road to get back to the citadel. At some point Ignis began to think about the things he still needed to do. There were still reports to be read waiting for him and a new recipe he needed to read so he could buy the ingredients the next day.

He announced that he still had things to take care of and Gladio nodded as they let go of each other's hands and headed back to the citadel.

Right before the entrance Ignis told Gladio that he didn't need to accompany him to his front door but Gladio went with him anyway, and it made Ignis nervous. He saw enough movies to know what usually happened before a couple parted and the thought of kissing Gladio made his body tingle, wanting to exactly do that.

But his mind was another story.

They arrived at his front door way too soon and the long, empty corridor didn't bring an excuse to part before reaching the door. So he held his schoolbag up high against his chest, while his fingers fumbled for his keys inside his pockets.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Gladio asked, leaning against the wall.

“I need to buy some ingredients for a new recipe. Then I have to attend a meeting with the King.”

“In that order?” Gladio asked.

“No. I have the meeting in the morning and the rest of the day off because of the final exams. I suppose the Prince will ask me to go fishing with him though.”

“Yeah, Noct mentioned that he wanted to do that. Guess I have to go with you guys.”

Right, Gladio was the shield and Ignis the adviser, wherever Noctis went, they would follow.

“I could go with you though. Shopping I mean.”

“You don't have to. It'll be boring and very time consuming,” Ignis said, not because he didn't want Gladio around but because he honestly believed that.

“Just because I love Cup Noodles doesn't mean I don't know anything about food. I could learn a thing or two and we could spent more time together without creating any suspicions. I'd like to know more about you outside your job.”

Ignis looked at Gladio after he opened the door as if to see if he was honest and apparently he was, from what Ignis could read in his expression. It was still weird that someone was interested in him and everything that he was. So he nodded before he said.

“Then be here around eleven. And... thank you for today. The cafe is a really nice place and their coffee and pastries are really good.”

Gladio smiled at him, all warm and happy, while he uncrossed his arms and moved a bit closer.

 _Here we go_ , Ignis thought.

He held his bag a bit higher and tighter while his eyes went down from Gladio's eyes to his lips and his lips were already tingling, waiting, when he felt a big hand cupping his cheek to give him an anchor – as if Gladio knew he needed one. However, lips never reached his own because his hand moved the bag further up, hiding half of his face.

Oh sh-, Ignis thought. He didn't want to do that but he wasn't sure if he could handle a kiss now with his mind so clear.

“Som... someone might see us,” he mumbled against his bag, cheeks aflame after Gladio looked at the bag with a surprised look and then back into Ignis eyes.

But Ignis couldn't look back because he felt ashamed and sorry for being so... shy. Yes, he was shy and he had no idea how much.

No one said anything for several seconds and Ignis wished he would have been on that weird high again so his mind would stop producing all these things that stood clearly in the way to Gladio's arms.

“You're right,” Gladio said pulling back and caressing Ignis cheek with his thumb. “Then I'll see you tomorrow.”

Ignis nodded wordlessly and watched Gladio leave, since he didn't live inside the citadel but next to it - inside the Amicitia house which existed for as long as the citadel itself did. He stood there until Gladio disappeared behind a corner and then closed his door just to press his forehead against the cold wood and breath for a while. His face was still burning and his body trembling because he was so happy and nervous at the same time.

Yet, he felt disappointed in himself for not getting the kiss he had been wanting to feel again. It made no sense at all to him since he was able to understand the most complicated reports, organize his and Noctis' life and do his duty with the most accuracy possible. But kissing, a simple press of lips, seemed to be something impossible for him to do.

“Damn,” Ignis sighed into the emptiness of his room.

 

* * *

 

The next day Ignis still felt disappointed in himself for not being able to kiss his boyfriend – the word was still odd to him – but that didn't stop the happiness inside of him to bloom and spread all over his face.

He got ready for his meeting with the King only to discover that it was nothing political related but – to Ignis surprise – just an informal check up on how he was doing and if he enjoyed school. It shouldn't have been surprising considering that it wasn't the first time the King had showed that he cared about Ignis in a way a father usually did.

“It's alright, your Majesty. I've found some friends.”

And it wasn't even a lie.

After the accident with Alina, Ignis suddenly found himself surrounded by people who had always kept their distance but had never been rude to him. Now they asked him what friends usually asked and, even though he wasn't close with anyone, he liked the friendly relationship he had with most of his classmates.

“I'm glad to hear that. I was worried after what happened with your parents to be honest.”

“You don't need to be worried, your Majesty. I'm happy here and I consider Insomnia my home since I came here.”

He watched the King smile, his King who grew so old so fast that it worried him as much as anyone else, especially Noctis. But no one said a word, no one mentioned it. Instead they all did their best to support their King and help him lessen the burden he was carrying.

King Regis was another reason why Ignis worked so hard and put his duties and Noctis first.

“I'm happy to see that the three of you get along. Especially you and Gladio,” he said and Ignis wasn't sure if there was some hidden meaning behind his words or if it was his own mind coming up with possible scenarios, which weren't true in the first place. “I know you both had your differences.”

“We did but we also know our duties and the both of us put them first,” Ignis said, as if trying to convince someone that he and Gladio were just that, Noctis’ shield and sword.

“I'm happy to hear that. Noctis couldn't ask for a better shield and adviser. Yet, you're all young and you should enjoy your youth too.”

Ignis understood what the King meant without further explanation. Life was short and their duty was not everything in their life.

But still it was, for Ignis, his first priority.

They talked a bit more until it was time for Regis to leave and for Ignis to return to his apartment and get ready for his, well, date with Gladio.

Though, did going shopping together count as a date? Ignis doubted it did but then Gladio seemed to be a person who was easy to please and he would be happy about anything they did, as long as they did it together. Not that Ignis was much different, though he really didn't know what to expect from their relationship, or if he should expect anything at all.

There was only one thing he was certain about, he wanted to be with Gladio no matter how shy he became or how confused he was about his own needs and wishes.

It was a couple of minutes before eleven when Ignis stepped out of the elevator and walked to his door where - and his heart skipped a beat - Gladio was already waiting for him. Unlike Ignis, who was dressed in his usual working clothes - a white shirt, a dark vest and dark pants - Gladio looked, as usual, like he was on his way to the gym. Another thing that made it clear how different they actually were.

“Hello Gladiolus, you're early,” Ignis said and, as planned, his words caused Gladio to laugh.

“That Gladiolus crap again? Really, Iggy?”

Ignis stopped at his door and narrowed his eyes when he heard Gladio calling him that ridiculous nickname again. He still hadn't decided if he actually liked it or not and he was about to say something when Gladio came closer, too close, and pressed a kiss on his cheek, causing Ignis face to burn a bright red.

“Hi,” Gladio grinned at him, washing all of Ignis anger away with the protest, ready on his tongue, that someone might see them. He knew no one would at this time of the day and he trusted Gladio enough to know that he wouldn't do anything Ignis wasn't okay with.

Wordlessly, Ignis nodded and opened the door to create some distance between them, but also to get the things he needed before they would leave. He breathed to calm himself down while he walked to his desk, his ears hyper aware of Gladio following him inside but not getting any closer, which Ignis was grateful for. After he calmed down a bit, he found his wallet and the basket he always took with him when he went to buy ingredients.

“Where do you want to go?” Gladio asked.

“To the marketplace. They have ingredients the usual shops don't have and for this recipe I need specific things I can only get there.”

“Good. I have my bike with me so we can use that,” Gladio announced proudly.

“Your bike? Do you mean a motorbike or a bicycle?” Ignis asked after he turned back to face his boyfriend.

“Bicycle. Though next year I plan to have a motorbike. Then we could leave Insomnia and go camping.”

There was a lot of information Ignis needed to handle in his mind. First the image of Gladio driving a motorbike which was alluring and scary at the same time, second the image of them being together a year later and that Gladio did think about that.

Ignis didn't share his thoughts, focusing on the information at hand.

“I don't have a bicycle though.”

“So? You'll sit on the bicycle rack while I drive.”

The idea was horrifying to Ignis at first because that couldn't be safe and why should he sit on the rack instead of walking. He was about to say exactly that but when he saw Gladio's excited expression and how happy this thought actually made him, Ignis swallowed down his words.

Why would someone be happy about that? Well, considering Gladio, who loved to exercise, it shouldn't be that odd, right? Maybe, personally for Ignis, it was just odd because he would never do that nor suggest something like that.

“Will it be safe? I have to accompany Noctis later and I'd like to do that unharmed,” Ignis asked.

“I'm the shield, remember? I'll make sure you'll be safe,” Gladio said and there was something in his voice that made Ignis heart react.

Did he wanted Gladio to protect him? Did he liked the idea of being protected? Not really, because Gladio was Noctis' shield, not his, and the idea of Gladio getting hurt caused a different kind of pain inside him.

“Don't worry, Ignis. I do that with Iris all the time.”

Ignis nodded slowly, trying to recall a moment when Iris had been hurt but he couldn't recall anything. Anyway, Ignis knew that Gladio wouldn't do anything to voluntarily hurt or put him into any sort of danger.

And maybe this was a thing couples did? Ignis didn't know but he decided to be open minded whenever Gladio suggested something, at least with the things he felt comfortable with.

“Fine,” Ignis said.

They left his apartment together and outside of the Citadel was, in fact, a black bicycle with a rack big enough for someone to sit on. Ignis eyed it for a while while Gladio took his place behind the wheel and then followed him to take his place. There was even some sort of pillow on it so the metal wouldn't hurt his backside.

“Ready?” Gladio asked when he turned his head back to see Ignis.

“Just be careful.”

“Of course.”

Gladio pushed them forward from the ground and, though the start was rather shaky, he soon found a balance and, to Ignis surprise, drove them safely through the streets to the marketplace. Not once was he scared of falling and not once did he need to lecture Gladio to go slower, since he never drove too fast. When Gladio stopped, Ignis jumped off the rack and watched Gladio lock the bicycle before he joined Ignis at his side and smiled proudly.

“See? Nothing happened. Did you like it?”

Ignis wasn't sure if Gladio was doing all of this to impress him or if he was trying to make Ignis experience something different than he was used to so far.

Because Gladio didn't need to impress him with anything, Ignis liked him just the way he was.

“I did,” Ignis said with a small smile. Perhaps Gladio really wanted to make him feel good and happy and that alone was new to Ignis, but he liked the feeling. He liked to see Gladio so happy because Ignis was happy, because Ignis was the reason.

“So, what do you need?” Gladio asked, standing next to Ignis and taking a look at the list Ignis pulled out of his pockets. He let Gladio read it and used this chance to watch Gladio's face since he was so close and perfectly distracted. Not that Ignis hadn't watched Gladio's face before, because he certainly had, but today he noticed how the boyish features on his face were almost gone, his throat becoming thicker and everything seemed to be a bit bigger than a couple of months ago.

From somewhere deep inside him Ignis felt a need rising, the urge to place his lips on that jaw and that throat just to taste the skin, to feel the warmth and find out what sort of noise Gladio would make. These thoughts were nothing new but the warmth, that fire they ignited inside him, was hard to handle, especially when the reason for it was right next to him.

“Are you going to cook some sort of stew with meat?” Gladio asked after he finished reading the list and looked back right into Ignis eyes. He leaned back a bit, his cheeks turning pink.

“Yes. And baked sweet potatoes.”

“Are you trying to make Noct eat his veggies? I'm not sure if you can trick him with all of that,” Gladio pointed at the list.

“I haven't tried it yet so maybe it'll work,” Ignis said, even though he was certain that Noctis would pick out anything that looked like a vegetable.

Gladio looked at Ignis for a bit too long with his amber eyes, which had this certain kind of flame. It was a light that drew Ignis in like a moth, but he was a human being and his mind reminded him to not get too close. So he pulled back a bit when their staring contest became too intense, yet Gladio's hand on his didn't go unnoticed by Ignis and, for a second, he squeezed back, as if to reassure him of something.

“Can I eat dinner with you guys?”

Ignis nodded, not trusting his words nor mouth.

Yes, he wanted Gladio around more and being together with him and Noctis would, perhaps, help him to not lose control - because a pair of amber eyes or a low voice were causing shivers to run down his spine in just the right ways. God, what were all these things he felt and never seemed to be able to satisfy?

“Let's buy everything before it gets too late,” Ignis managed to say and Gladio nodded, taking the basket from him.

“I can carry this,” Ignis said, following Gladio.

“So can I,” his boyfriend said with a pleased smile and he really seemed to like doing that.

For the next hour Ignis tried to take the basket from Gladio but eventually gave up when the taller man refused to hand it back. Instead, he filled the basket with all the ingredients he needed and watched Gladio carry them around, not once complaining about how heavy it was – well, he wouldn't because Gladio was one of the strongest person Ignis knew - or how much Ignis bought – because he did buy things that weren't on his list.

It wasn't like Ignis expected Gladio to complain or say something about what he liked and what not. After all Gladio knew Ignis was the opposite of him. Still, it was a pleasant knowledge to acquire during those hours they spent at the marketplace.

 

* * *

 

“He's been fishing for hours now,” Gladio mumbled from the bench he and Ignis were sitting on, not far from the Prince, who stood on the jetty, still waiting for a fish. “It's funny though: a Prince who enjoys fishing, but loves animals to bits.”

“We all have our weird sides I'd say,” Ignis shrugged and looked over to Cor who had accompanied them. Gladio was Noctis' shield, true, but he still needed to grow a bit more and learn more before he was allowed to protect Noctis on his own.

“You mean like my love for Cup Noodles and your love for cooking?” Gladio asked with a small grin.

“For example.” Ignis nodded. “I suppose it's good to have something rather normal you enjoy in your life, considering Noctis' fate and what is happening around us.”

“Can't argue with that,” Gladio said and leaned back against the back of the bench while Noctis turned around when Cor said something both of them couldn't hear. Whatever it was it made Noctis sigh before he put on a grumpy expression.

They both stood up from the bench and helped Noctis gather his things together before they returned to the car. Cor drove, Ignis took some notes and Gladio managed to lift Noctis mood by complimenting him telling him how much his fishing skills had improved.

Ignis smiled when he listened to Gladio being the brother he was by nature. Even though he could be a harsh teacher and pushed Noctis too much sometimes, he also could be gentle, understanding and brotherly.

Back in Ignis apartment he ordered them both to wash their hands while he walked into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

A stew with meat – because the Prince wouldn't eat anything else – and baked sweet potatoes it was.

Noctis made a disapproving face when he saw the variation of vegetables and Ignis managed to not react to that, unlike Gladio who smacked Noctis on the back of his head.

“Don't make such an ungrateful face, Noct. Ignis cooks for us and you should be grateful.”

“But I don't like vegetables,” Noctis mumbled rubbing the back of his head.

Ignis used to say something when Gladio treated Noctis not like the Prince he was but like a sibling. He treasured his Prince more than was healthy, but that was part of his loyalty. Though he had learned that Noctis wanted to have some sort of normality and Gladio was able to give him exactly that.

“Vegetables are healthy,” Gladio said when he sat down at the table. Usually he stood next to Ignis, watched him chop and season whatever he was cooking. But they weren't alone and Ignis silently praised Gladio for being so considerate.

“What are you doing here anyway? It's rare for you to eat dinner with us,” Noctis asked to change the subject and Ignis listened but never looked away from his stove.

“What? Am I not allowed to have dinner with my friends?” Gladio asked with an annoyed expression when Noctis sat down across from him, giving his shield a suspicious glare.

“I didn't say that. But usually it's only Ignis and I,” Noctis explained and Ignis almost chuckled.

It was true. It had become sort of their ritual to eat dinner together, but simply because Ignis visited Noctis at the end of the day to make sure he was alright and to hear about his day, but also to teach his Prince the things he needed to know.

“You just don't want me here because I won't let you get away with not eating your vegetables.”

“No. I simply don't need two people to remind me,” Noctis mumbled and Gladio then laughed.

“Just eat them and we won't bother you anymore.”

Ignis couldn't stop the chuckle that grew inside his mouth. If it only were so easy, his life would have been much easier when it came to taking care of the Prince. Still, Ignis did not complain about the many things Noctis didn't like to do or refused to do. His excuse was that Noctis was still a kid and he wanted to give him good memories he would recall years later.

Because Ignis was sure he would need them, just like Ignis and Gladio would need them too.

Noctis huffed and, of course, he did not touch his vegetables while they were eating. Though Ignis took some pride in the fact that Noct did eat some of the baked sweet potatoes. The Prince's excuse was that they were like chips, just sweet. Stuffed full, Noctis rubbed his belly while Ignis took the plates off the table and set them into the sink. Gladio was right behind him, carrying the pot and another plate with him.

“Thanks for the food, Specs. It was good,” Noctis sighed and left his seat with a yawn. “I'll go back to my room, alright?”

“Alright,” Ignis said and walked away from the sink to accompany Noctis to the door. On their way he reminded him to do his homework and that he had sparring class with Gladio the next day, even though it was a Sunday. Noctis waved it all off with a simple 'I know, I know' and when the front door closed, Ignis suddenly felt his nervousness returning because it was just him and Gladio in an empty apartment.

He wished he could feel as composed inside as he pretended to be on the outside but there wasn't much he could do against his racing heart and his body screaming to feel the touch of his boyfriend.

Back in the kitchen he watched Gladio wash dish after dish and for a while Ignis was busy staring at his profile before his mind yelled at him that Gladio was a guest and that he shouldn't be the one cleaning. With fast steps he soon stood next to his boyfriend and managed to be the one cleaning the dishes while Gladio dried them off.

Ignis could live with that.

“I guess Noctis never helps you cleaning up afterwards?” Gladio asked.

“No. It's not much anyway. I can do it on my own,” Ignis shrugged.

“Sure. But the Prince will have his own place sooner or later and he needs to learn to clean up after himself, don't you think?”

“That might be true. And he'll learn when the time comes. But for now I want him to enjoy as many things as possible,” Ignis said and didn't say more because he was sure Gladio would tease him again about how he spoiled Noctis.

“What about you? Shouldn't you enjoy some things as well?”

Ignis dried his hands and looked up to his grinning boyfriend, realizing that they were done with the dishes and there was nothing left to keep his hands busy. His breathing became faster, together with his heart, and he instantly needed to look down, away from this handsome face, and hide his blushing cheeks.

“You're so shy, it's cute.” he heard Gladio's low voice saying and it vibrated right under his skin, even though there was enough distance between them.

“I simply don't know how to... do this,” Ignis admitted and felt Gladio getting closer, felt the warmth of his body and then his large hand taking his.

“We'll do what feels right. And if something doesn't, we'll say so,” Gladio explained.

It sounded easy and reasonable, but for Ignis it was not. He never followed his feelings, always used to plan every single step he needed to make in order to do something right. It was his way, his anchor, and what he always felt comfortable with. But it was something that didn't work with feelings and how unsure and helpless he felt, was visible on his face.

“Close your eyes and just feel, okay?” Gladio whispered and Ignis did, because he trusted Gladio but also because he couldn't refuse his voice.

He closed his eyes and his ears took in all the sounds he couldn't hear when his sight was distracting him. Like Gladio's breathing, his feet moving over the wooden floor and closer to him, his heart, that was just as loud as Ignis' heart. And then he felt Gladio's hand on his cheek, Gladio's breath on his lips followed by Gladio's lips on his.

Ignis hand clutched Gladio's as if he needed it in order not to leave this reality, or fall because of his buckling knees. He hated how he lost control over himself and fell into some space that was still unknown and scary, but it felt so good to be close. Kissing felt good and he wanted to ask for more, feel more and drown in this unknown bliss he had read about in so many books. He wanted to feel as if he was melting, burning from the inside, but also safe and sound in the arms of a person who liked him.

Ignis wanted to feel and know it all and Gladio would have given him everything, Ignis was sure of that. However, his body was not ready for more and the dizziness of a simple press of lips was too much to handle.

Also, he needed to breath.

When he pulled back Gladio let him and his breathing was as fast and as hot as Ignis' was. It took Ignis several seconds before he realized that he was not the only one who needed some time to calm down, and knowing that it affected Gladio in the same way was calming.

He sighed while his cheeks still burned and his hands still clutched at whatever part of Gladio he could reach, and he smiled a little when he felt lips on his forehead and a hand running soothingly up and down his back.

“Was that okay?” Gladio asked and Ignis could hear a hint of uncertainty in his voice, which was so so endearing to him because Gladio always seemed to be such a strong a person, who never wavered. It was not just endearing but also important because it felt like they were making this new experience together, and not like Ignis couldn't meet Gladio's expectation – even though he said he had none, since there was no experience to compare to.

So Ignis nodded slowly and looked back up to see his boyfriend's handsome face and listen to the heavy sigh which left his mouth and watch him smile, beaming and almost blinding Ignis.

He was so beautiful that it left Ignis speechless, which rarely happened because he usually had an answer to everything. But he had not one single answer when it came to Gladiolus Amicitia and everything he felt for him. He wondered if he would ever be able to find the words that could describe what was happening inside of him or maybe it was one of the things words simply couldn't or didn't need to describe.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Gladio asked when Ignis didn't stop staring at him.

“No. Everything's fine,” Ignis cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I should... go to sleep. It's quite late and I have some things to take care of tomorrow.”

“Yeah, me too. Taking care of Prince Charmless all Sunday long.”

Sometimes their life happened to take their usual free day away from them. Not that Ignis ever complained about that, but this time it did feel kind of wrong.

Weren't couples supposed to spent the weekend together because it was their only free time? Although, when Ignis thought about it, it was probably for the better to have some distance.

Just because this way he could process it all, which he really needed to.

“I'm sure Noctis is just as thrilled as you are,” Ignis commented and Gladio laughed.

“Better bring something to cheer the Prince up,” Gladio said and reached out for his jacket but never let go of Ignis hand.

“Weren't you the one who said I shouldn't spoil him?” Ignis asked, trying to suppress a smile.

“Well, you can always spoil me,” his boyfriend said with a teasing grin followed by a wink, which made Ignis blush and roll his eyes. Right, Gladio was a flirt. But as long as he was flirting with him, Ignis decided he could live with that. Also... if someone got spoiled it was Ignis himself, and he still needed to get used to this endless gentleness Gladio had inside him.

“Good night, Iggy,” Gladio whispered and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

Again, he just stared at his boyfriend, right into his amber eyes, and almost forgot to breath. But then he found his voice again, gave Gladio a weak glare – again this ridiculous nickname – and said: “Good night, Gladiolus.”

Gladio chuckled and then left the apartment.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm really blown away by your comments, thank you so much for giving me the motivation and inspiration! And I'm sorry for this rather late update. I've been sick since August and it gotten worse and worse. Eventually I went to the doctor and almost got pneumonia. I'm feeling better now but I still need to be careful. However, I hope I'll get the next chapter done way sooner! Let me know what you think :)


	9. Sweetness

“I need more details than that, Noctis,” Ignis sighed, feeling frustrated but trying not to show it, since his Prince’s request was very important.

Ignis wasn't a sweet tooth.

He preferred the bitterness of coffee and then, afterwards,maybe, a slice of cake, because he liked the mix of sweet and bitter. It just went well together and it was the only combination possible for him to really enjoy sweetness.

So, when Noctis told him about a certain sort of pastry he ate during his time in Tenebrae and how much he missed it, Ignis first thought was that _that_ certainly wouldn't suit Noctis’ diet, but if it would make him happy, he'd do his best to try and reproduceit.

Because Ignis was loyal and he would do anything for his Prince, even if it meant ~~to~~ bake something sweet and taste it countless times to check the progress.

“I don't remember more than that,” Noctis said with a shrug, sitting at Ignis kitchen’s island, bent over his homework.

Ignis nodded and remained calm, at least on the outside.

It wasn't in Noctis' nature to remember something like that, and it wasn't helping Ignis. How was he supposed to re-create the dessert with the little information he had? Some sort of cake, filled with some sort of cream and fruits. That could be anything, Ignis thought. Not to forget that he hadn't ever baked anyway.

“Here,” Noctis said and Ignis looked up to take the sheet of paper from his hands. “It looked like that.”

Ignis took the drawing from Noctis and eyed it for a while.

It looked like some sort of pastry, with a crust around it and a possible filling inside it. Ignis looked back up from the drawing and watched his Prince scribbling something down.

It wasn't like Noctis had asked him to re-create this. No, Ignis himself decided to do so after Noctis said how much he liked it.

It was always like that. Whenever Noctis voiced what he liked, missed or needed, Ignis was the first to try to make him have what he wanted.

“You don't need to bake this for me though,” Noctis said as if he knew what Ignis was thinking.

“Perhaps. But I view this as an opportunity to develop my cooking skills. Especially when it comes to create pastries. I haven't tried that yet,” Ignis reasoned, as if to find an excuse to spoil Noctis – which wasn't that far from the truth.

He placed the drawing on his desk, right next to his other notes, as Noctis looked back down to finish his homework and Ignis took the time to go through the cooking books he owned. There was, as he thought, no book about baking and pastries, but he remembered that the library owned some.

After they were done, Ignis accompanied Noctis to a meeting with his father and then went straight to the library.

There he first took care of the research he needed to make and then he started to wander around and look for baking books, hopeful that he could find the dessert his Highness liked so much.

He flipped through books for the next two hours, until his head started to hurt and he felt certain, more and more, that none of those books held the informations he needed.

He brought the books back to their places and picked out one he hadn't flipped through yet. He decided to not go back to the table and stand there and, since no one walked around that part of the library, Ignis wouldn't stand in anyone’s way.

Another tired sigh left his lips when he was halfway through the book and could tell that in this one there wouldn't be the recipe for the dessert from Tenebrae, either.

“There you are,” a familiar voice said and he looked up to see Gladiolus, his boyfriend.

Even after five weeks of being a couple, Ignis still felt butterflies inside his belly and a wave of happiness running through his veins, every time he saw him. He even allowed himself to show a small smile at him and let his boyfriend know that he was happy to see him and welcomed the company.

Seeing Gladio's handsome face and listening to his low voice was soothing and making the headache less painful.

Gladio was dressed in his usual brownish sportswear, wearing a cap too.

“Were you looking for me?” Ignis asked, still holding the book open.

“Yeah, I wanted to see you before I leave with Cor.”

Right, Gladio was about to leave with Cor to camp together outside of Insomnia. He had to teach Gladio how to defeat demons in real life. Ignis felt bad that he almost forgot about it, but his mind was always filled with his responsibilities and he still hadn't gotten used to their relationship.

“You forgot about it, huh?” Gladio said and Ignis looked down.

It really felt like he could read his mind.

Gladio didn't look upset or hurt, but Ignis felt like a bad boyfriend and knew that he should remember those things. He would have remembered it Saturday evening, when Gladio wouldn't have come over to cook together with him – what became their ritual.

He looked back up and said: “I'm sorry. I've been very busy during this week.”

“Don't worry. Anyway, are you going to bake something?” Gladio asked after he stepped closer and their bodies almost touched, something Ignis had gotten used to, though.

“Noctis mentioned a dessert he ate during his time in Tenebrae and I hoped I could find it in one of the books. But there is no record about it, so I'll try to recreate it with the little information I have.”

Gladio sighed but his smile never left his face when he said: “You remember whatever Prince Charmless tells you, but when it comes to your boyfriend you forget?”

“It's not like that.”

“Sure,” Gladio teased him, because he knew what the truth was.

“No, really. I've never baked anything and I think recreating something will improve my cooking skills as well.”

“You can tell yourself that all you want,” Gladio didn't stop his teasing and Ignis felt even worse.

It was no secret how much he cared about – and spoiled – Noctis and how serious Ignis took his duty. But that didn't mean Gladio was less important to him or not in his mind 24/7.

Because he was.

And Ignis wanted to tell him that he sometimes fantasized about them, spending the night together cuddling. But whenever he would lose himself in those thoughts, Ignis felt hot and nervous at the same time. If he couldn't handle the idea of it, how was he supposed to not embarrass himself if it actually became reality? He couldn't even say it out loud without his face burning.

“I'm just teasing you. Noctis told me about the dessert, too, and I know he's crazy about it.”

Ignis calmed down and smiled towards his boyfriend for the endless understanding he had for him, which Ignis never wanted to take for granted. Even if he had a hard time understanding and socializing, he knew people had their limits and feelings, and it wasn't right to cross them or walk over them.

“Thank you,” he said with that smile and watched Gladio blush and become flustered – a reaction Ignis noticed would happen whenever he appreciated Gladio in anything outside of physical strength and fighting skills.

“Do you have to smile like that? You know it's my weakness,” Gladio whispered.

Ignis knew what he meant,because Gladio's smile was doing the same things to him. But he just wasn't ready to go any further than kissing, even though his heart and body ached for more.

More time, more kisses and _more_ beyond that.

Ignis chuckled and looked at his watch, realizing that Gladio would leave in an hour and Ignis still needed to go shopping for the mysterious dessert.

“You should go or you'll be late. And I doubt you want to be lectured by Cor the Immortal,” Ignis suggested and watched his boyfriend nod his head while he looked around.

There was no one but them and that's why Ignis didn't pull back or rejected the kiss Gladio initiated by taking off his cap and placing his other hand on the back of Ignis head.

If his smile was Gladio's weakness than Ignis’ was the feeling of his large, warm hand, on the back of his head. The feeling of being held and guided had been so foreign to him because no one had been there before Gladio to give him that feeling. He has always been in control, the one guiding others, but now he had slowly come to like it.

Their kisses weren't a simple press of lips anymore but still not something that Ignis would label ‘dirty’. It was a new dance, slow and soft, to share what they felt for each other, which was gentle, honest and so so warm that his legs still turned to jelly. But Gladio would hold him before he could fall.

“I'll visit you when I return on Sunday, okay?” Gladio said pulling back, knowing very well how much he could go on before Ignis would snap and remind Gladio where they actually were.

“Okay. Be... be careful out there,” Ignis said softly, still feelinglike he had no control over his mind and mouth, all to Gladio's liking, who smiled at Ignis and moved a bit closer to press a kiss on his forehead.

“I will. And you, don't spoil the kid too much.”

 

* * *

 

Saturday evening became, officially, the worst day in Ignis life so far, and for several reasons.

First, he never got easily frustrated and when he was, he rarely showed it on his face, even when he was alone. But today he couldn't hide it.

Second, Ignis liked it when places were clean and organized – which Noctis had no talent for, at all, and Ignis had mastered the art of hiding his frustration thanks to the future King - but his house was a mess.

Third, it was Ignis gift to be able to learn and understand almost everything and know what and how to do things no matter the situation. But today that wasn't the case.

That evening Ignis was frustrated, and it was obvious.

His kitchen was a mess of flour and eggs and he didn't understand why baking seemed to be impossible for him to learn.

He started with something simple, like bread and cookies, to get a feeling for it but he failed whatever he tried.

The dough for the bread never got the consistency it should have and the cookies tasted so bad that Ignis needed to wash his mouth after he tried one bite.

First he thought that maybe the recipe was wrong and decided to watch a video about it, but even after that, he failed. Ignis Scientia never failed something that required his hands and mind and he just couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. It couldn't be so hard, right? He managed to cook other things that were labeled, officially, as difficult. He managed to create his own recipes and even the picky Prince approved of them.

His pride was hurt, his confidence in his skills shattered and Ignis groaned in frustration

He couldn't accept this.

He cleaned his kitchen and decided to read the recipes and watch the videos he had found one more time on. He compared them to everything he did and he still couldn't find the mistake he apparently was making in order to ruin everything. Then he heard a voice in his head saying he should take it slow and get some rest - which sounded much like Gladio.

But when he turned around, on his couch there was no Gladio. It was his TV playing in the background, showing that series Gladio liked to watch every Saturday evening – and Ignis had promised to record the episode so he could watch it when he returned. He had no idea what it was about but it seemed to be some sort of romantic soap opera with lots of unrealistic drama – much like the books Gladio read.

All their Saturday evenings were spent like that, Gladio watching his favorite show while Ignis read a book or flipped through some old reports from the former Kings, while enjoying the others company. They didn't kiss nor cuddled, but sat next to each other and felt the most comfortable to just feel the other’s warmth.

Now there was only the pillow of his couch on which Gladio always rested on and Ignis suddenly felt a pang of longing inside of him. Did he really got so used to have his boyfriend there every Saturday, that he felt lonely just because Gladio was gone for the weekend?

Ignis was surprised about himself, about how fast he accepted and let Gladio into his life and how much it affected him to be separated from him. It surprised and scared him at the sametime and he reasoned that, because his day sucked and he had failed doing something he was usually good at, he was feeling lonely more than ever.

And yes, he blamed the day for it, otherwise he wasn't sure if he could have handled his true feelings.

With a sigh his hands reached out for the pillow and hugged it close to him, breathing in the smell of Gladio that was still there. But the pillow was cold and not as warm nor as soft as his boyfriend could be. He wished that Gladio was there to laugh Ignis’ ridiculous frustration off and tell him that he was just a human and couldn't be perfect at everything. He wished to be kissed until he felt better and to be hugged by the young man who more and more was changing, walking straight into manhood, physically and mentally, and made Ignis feel something new and good every single day.

Even though Ignis knew he would never take the first step and actually ask for anything like cuddling and more, he still wished Gladio would be there and gasp and laugh about his favorite show, while Ignis would roll his eyes at the over-the-top acting. But Ignis would look over at his boyfriend and smile because watching that made him happy.

And today he missed it more than he would ever admit out loud.

Was this his bad karma visiting him because he forgot about his boyfriends plans?

He pressed the pillow closer to himself, closed his eyes and breathed in the faint smell of sunshine and black tea – which was how he described the smell of Gladio. It wasn't much, but enough to calm him down and give his mind the rest it needed.

 

* * *

 

The next day Ignis didn't leave his apartment and he didn't even dress up as he usually did.

He wore an old t-shirt and sweatpants, as if he was trying to be close to the person who made him feel comfortable the most. He went back to his kitchen, deciding to bake again. But he obtained the same horrible results over and over again and, only when someone knocked against his door, Ignis noticed how late it actually was and in what state his kitchen was in.

No one would have described Ignis as messy or unorganized. He was the epitome of dapper and smart but, whoever stood in front of his door, was going to face a new Ignis. Because Ignis didn't even come up with the idea to not open the door, especially not after he heard the voice he'd been missing so much during the past two days.

He cleaned his hands on his apron, took it off and rushed to the door, ready, in his mind, to jump at Gladio and demand one kiss after the other.

He opened the door and there he stood, his charming boyfriend with wet hair, dressed in comfortable clothes, a wide smile splitting his face, as if he'd missed Ignis as well. Though Ignis felt disappointed in himself that his body refused to move in the way he wanted to, Ignis got what he wanted from Gladio after he closed the door behind him.

His large hands gently cupped Ignis' face and brought their faces together so he could kiss him as if he hadn't had done that for far longer than days ago. And Ignis didn't fight nor held back.

His hands found their place on Gladio's chest, feeling for his warmth and parts of free skin. His eyes were closed and his lips moving to the familiar pattern, as if he wanted to burn it into his memory. Gladio probably felt how responsive Ignis was and his hands wandered down, sliding around Ignis frame to pull him closer and hold him there. That was too much for Ignis to take and he needed to pull away from the kiss and breath while he felt Gladio's heartbeat from where their chests were touching.

Gladio smelled like soap and sunshine and the stubble on his chin was comfortably scratching Ignis forehead, where he placed another kiss before Ignis tried to free himself from the hug.

Gladio let him and showed Ignis his happy and satisfied expression.

“Hey, I'm back,” Gladio grinned and then Ignis mind started to work again and he took a step away from his boyfriend, his face turning beet red when he realized what just happened.

“We... welcome back,” Ignis mumbled, not able to make eye contact with Gladio, at least not until he got back the control over his own body.

“You must have missed me a lot if you let me kiss and hug you at the same time. If this is what I get in return for being away, I should consider doing it more often,” Gladio teased and he knew Ignis would react and snap at him for saying something so ridiculous. Most importantly, it would distract him from his mind working overtime again.

“Very funny,” Ignis cleared his throat, slowly relaxing.

Gladio chuckled and looked around, until he noticed the mess in the kitchen.

“Woah! What happened to your kitchen? And what happened to you? Where is mister dapper?” Gladio asked after he walked deeper into the apartment and saw the remains of Ignis’ war with the flour.

Ignis saw no point in lying or coming up with some excuse. Gladio had seen him vulnerable, crying and breaking down because of his parents - which was one of the hardest things he had ever done, showing his true feelings. This, though, was about the pride he took from his cooking skills and, even though Ignis didn't want to admit that he couldn't do something, – even in front of Gladio – he couldn't lie, especially not with the evidence in his kitchen.

“I tried to bake and failed. It frustrates me so much that I don't have the energy for anything.”

Gladio blinked several times and then nodded slowly while he scratched the back of his head and Ignis explained all the things that went wrong.

“I can't bake even if my life depended on it,” Gladio shrugged, helping Ignis clean up when he started to do so. “But if you have such a hard time, you can ask my sister.”

“Your sister? Can she bake?”

Ignis tried to recall how old she was, but he only knew that she was younger than him, even younger than Noctis. Usually he would have felt challenged that a young teenager could do something he, at seventeen, couldn't. But he did not. What he had learned to accept was that he was, indeed, bad at certain things - even if that used to be one thing only: socializing.

“Yeah. But that's all she can do. Other than fight obviously. She's an Amicitia after all,” Gladio grinned. “You could come over to my place next weekend. I'm sure she can show you how to bake.”

The idea of going to Gladio's place filled him with a nervousness he couldn't explain, especially because he knew Iris – since she and Noctis used to play a lot when they were both kids. No, the idea of meeting Clarus in his home, while secretly dating his son, was what was making him nervous and wanting to reject the offer.

So far no one seemed to notice that they were more than just friends, and Gladio always behaved when someone else was around. But they were talking about his private home and Ignis feared that he would be too obvious or that Gladio would do something that could raise questions and suspicious. And Clarus was a man who noticed things – Ignis would never forget the day after he and Gladio became an item and Clarus thanked Ignis for being a good influence on his son.

“I don't know...” Ignis said in the end.

“Why? I'll behave, I promise. And it would make Iris happy,” Gladio tried and then added. “And it would make me happy to show you my place, even if not officially as my boyfriend.”

Ignis couldn't say no now, could he? He already hurt Gladio by forgetting that he would leave for two days as if it didn't matter to Ignis nor bothered him. His conscience was calling him out on that rude behavior and his curiosity awoke. He did want to see where his boyfriend lived and he wanted to see his room and get to know the son and brother he also was – and Gladio was more than willing to do so.

“I'll see if my schedule allows it, okay?” But Ignis already knew he was free that day.

Gladio, though, seemed satisfied with that answer and together they finished cleaning the kitchen before the shield announced that he needed to watch the latest episode of his favorite TV show 'Broken Hearts'.

Even the name was ridiculous.

Ignis sent Gladio off to the living room and took care of the rest himself before he joined Gladio and, as he saw him on his usual spot on the couch, resting on the pillow Ignis had been hugging tightly yesterday, he stared. That view stirred a feeling inside him Ignis couldn't explain nor understand, but it made him happy. And now it made so much sense that he wanted for time to stand still.

He walked around the couch and sat down next to Gladio, where his usual place was but didn't reach out for his book that was waiting on the coffee table. He pulled his legs up, wrapped his arms around them and watched what happened on the TV – two guys were following a troublesome third guy – and, even if he had no idea why they did it, Ignis continued watching. His eyes were so focused on the display that he didn't noticed Gladio shifting until he felt his lips on his cheek and turned his head to look at Gladio.

If he would have been reading something, Ignis would have given him a warning glare. But the situation was different and he now understood why Gladio wanted to be close to him. He got a taste of what it felt like to be away from each other and how normal it became to be together whenever they could. But it wasn't that alone. Words could only express so much but they could never bring across what a kiss and a hug could.

And right now Gladio thanked Ignis,appreciating the fact that he was watching his favorite show with him, even though Ignis was not interested nor understood a thing.

Down from his high, he looked away from Gladio to gather the courage he needed to let his walls down one more time today. His eyes looked back at his boyfriend – who was still watching Ignis as if he wanted to make sure he hadn't upset him – and then leaned in, resting his head against Gladio's shoulder while holding his arm.

His heart was beating like crazy but he still pretended to watch the TV, wondering why something like that felt more intimate than a kiss. But it did and he wanted to feel Gladio close but also make up for the time they hadn't spent together.

“Did you... miss me?” Gladio asked after a while and Ignis heard the nervous tone in his voice, as if Gladio feared the answer. Or maybe he didn't fear the answer but made himself vulnerable. Right, Ignis thought, just because it seemed like nothing for Gladio, to kiss and touch him, it didn't mean he wasn't making himself vulnerable, right? Whenever Ignis rejected him, did he also hurt him? It wasn't what he intended to do, not at all, and he was sure that Gladio, with his endless understanding, knew. But that did not justify the times he, perhaps, hurt his boyfriend.

So Ignis nodded slowly and when he felt and heard the sigh that left Gladio's body, he was proud of himself for opening up. He could feel how happy it made Gladio, feel how his heart was beating strong and loud through his body and closed his eyes when Gladio's arm found its way around his shoulders.

 

* * *

 

There were a lot of things and people Ignis respected, and Clarus Amicitia certainly was one of those people – though Ignis was sure that if someone could read his thoughts, they'd think he was scared of Gladio's father.

His week had been hell and he and Gladio weren't able to see each other much, which wasn't unusual since they started their last year of school and were about to enter university – not to forget that Noctis himself became older and more problems arose.

Didn't they say, small kids small problems, big kids bigger problems?

It was the first time Ignis got a bit tired of Noctis’, indeed, bratty behavior, but still gave in when he wouldn't stop asking if he could come to Gladio’s as well. Not that it bothered Ignis much, because he would have taken Noctis anywhere, but he didn't like the idea of being exposed to so many people, privately, while his secret boyfriend stood right next to him. And since he and Gladio got much closer, he questioned his ability to remain indifferent from the outside. Especially because Clarus was good at observing people and, even though he and King Regis were men of honor and manners, they could be very childish and gossip about who was together with whom. Ignis had witnessed those conversations many times and no one would have believed him if he said that his King and his shield sometimes behaved in that ridiculous way.

But he learned that exclusively talking about politics and issues wasn't good for the mental health and gossiping could be healthy, too, even though he was not a fan of it.

However, Ignis was a man who kept his word and went to the Amicitia residence, together with Noctis.

Properly dressed, he knocked against the doors and heard the cheering voice of Iris who announced that she would get the door – even though they had a butler.

The door flew open and it didn't surprise Ignis anymore how strong a small girl like her, was. Amicitia blood was running through her veins after all.

“Welcome Ignis and Noctis,” she smiled at them and almost washed away all of Ignis worries.

“Sup,” Noctis said right next to him with a proud grin.

Right, he wanted to be cool and all of that, but Ignis groaned inwardly and questioned his upbringing and where he had failed. He wanted to remind him to speak properly but didn't and just facepalmed when Noctis wandered inside and announced: “Whoa! I wanna play, too!”

“Come inside, Ignis. I've everything prepared,” Iris said as if she wasn't bothered at all, and perhaps she really wasn't. Gladio had been right when he said that it would make her happy if Ignis came over and she looked like someone granted her a wish.

“Please excuse the behavior of the future King,” Ignis said and held out a small bouquet he bought just this morning. “These are for you to show my gratitude.”

Iris literally squealed and blushed when she saw the flowers and thanked Ignis with shining eyes as she took them from him. That view caused Ignis to smile himself because he could make her happy with something so small and, perhaps, it was the first time she got flowers from another person who wasn't part of her family.

She closed the door and announced that she would be right back after finding a vase for the flowers. With a happy jump in her step she left the huge living room and Ignis watched her go before he looked over to the left side where a massive TV and a couch stood.

And on that couch a lot was going on.

First, he saw Noctis, totally absorbed by the game playing on the TV. Then he saw Clarus and what looked like a controller in his hands, mumbling something under his breath as he smashed the buttons. The view would have shocked anyone but Ignis couldn't help himself but think that this was almost normal – Clarus Amicitia playing video games, no one would believe that anyway.

Then he saw the third person, Gladio, who didn't watch the game but leaned against the backrest of the couch, hair slicked back, smiling right at him but,thank the Gods, without making stupid kissy-faces – which he almost expected Gladio to do because he was a little tease. Then Iris returned and didn't give Ignis the chance to properly greet Gladio's father,grabbing his hand – she was strong, indeed – while she called her father out, as if he didn't know how to behave.

“Dad! Ignis is here! Stop playing that stupid game!”

A lot of things happened at the same time.

Clarus cursed because his daughter’s voice dragged him out of his focus on the game and he died. Noctis chuckled about that and made a thrilling noise when Clarus handed him the controller and told him to do it better, while Gladio's smile was gone and a grumpy look shadowed his face as his eyes stared at where Iris was holding Ignis' hand. What was missing was the King, laughing about his long time friend, and that he sucked at playing video games.

Ignis remained polite, kept his poker face on when Clarus approached him, feeling fortunate that he and Gladio had already met this morning.

During the past week Gladio had passed from his house when he went out running, early in the morning when the sun was just rising but the rest of Insomnia still sleeping. Ignis always got up early - sometimes with the sunrise and sometimes later - and Gladio would text him before he was about to leave and ask if Ignis was awake already. The first time it happened, Ignis felt alarmed and wondered if something bad had happened, but when he opened his door, still dressed in his pajamas and half awake, he knew everything was alright. It was just that his boyfriend wanted to have a quiet moment between them and kiss him good morning.

Even though Ignis thought it was cheesy and sort of embarrassing, he couldn't deny Gladio. He would only grin and pull Ignis closer than usual while Ignis, still pliant and warm from his sleep, showed little resistance. It happened three times during the week ~~s~~ and it was like _something_ had changed since their short time apart and following reconnection. Something that made the ache to be close bigger, and almost unbearable.

“Hello, Ignis. It's been awhile since you've been here,” Clarus said as a matter of fact and not to make Ignis feel bad. “Thank you for doing this.” He said when he saw the happy face of his daughter, and Ignis understood what this meant.

Gladio had told him that their mother abandoned them and decided to have a different life far away from the crown, which had been hard, especially for Iris. She had a happy and good life still, but both her father and brother were busy most of the time and she spent most of it alone with their butler. So he understood that the time she was allowed to spend with her family and people she liked, while doing something as simple as baking, made her the happiest.

“Oh no, I'm the one who should thank you for having me here, Sir.” Ignis said.

“Come on, Ignis,” Iris whined.

Clarus laughed while Iris pulled harder at his hand and, after excusing himself, he went to the kitchen with her, feeling Gladio's eyes on his back.

“Gladdy told me that you have issues when it comes to baking?” Iris asked, letting go of his hand. He instantly noticed that, in front of him, on the table, everything was already neatly set: flour, eggs, water, bowls and everything they needed.

“Apparently it's something that requires different cooking skills I can't properly develop,” he explained.

“Well, we will fix that. It's really easy,” she nodded and they both agreed to start with bread.

Ignis watched her and listened to her explanation and, in fact, he learned far more than from the videos and recipes.

When it was his turn Iris guided him through it and he noticed the mistakes he was making before. It was astonishing how a girl her age knew all those tricks and steps by heart.

When they were done with the dough they waited for their bread to be ready and talked about other pastries she could make.

At some point Gladio joined them in the kitchen and Ignis was suddenly very aware of the noise in the background. He heard Noctis laughing and Clarus mumbling something with his deep voice, clearly unhappy about whatever happened in the game. Then Gladio mumbled something about how his father and Noctis were horrible people and Ignis knew he had lost the game himself. The Prince, indeed, was good at playing games and he loved to win, a skill Ignis didn't understand but didn't judge either.

“How is it going?” Gladio asked and stood between him and Iris while they were sitting at the table, drinking tea. Ignis gave Gladio kudos for not crossing any boundaries they had set right from the beginning of their relationship.

“Good! I taught Ignis how to make bread,” Iris announced proudly and Gladio smiled at his sister in way only a brother could.

“I was making really stupid mistakes,” he admitted.

“Yeah,” Iris agreed and there was this straightforwardness every Amicitia had but Ignis gotten used to. “But you know a lot of amazing recipes and technical stuff. I'm surprised someone as stupid as my brother has a friend like you.”

“What did you just say?” Gladio grumbled and placed his hands on his hips and Ignis almost choked on his tea when he heard what Iris had called him and how she labeled them as friends.

“What, it's the truth that- AH!” she screamed when Gladio reached out for her and jumped off the chair before he could reach her. Ignis didn't know much about the dynamics of siblings but he knew Gladio and Iris were close and, when he watched her running away from his brother who easily caught her and started to tickle a squirming Iris, he had to smile. He liked the brotherly side of his boyfriend a lot, because it was something he himself shared with Noctis.

“Let me down! I'm sorry I've said that!” Iris cried out, giggling all the time. Gladio let her down and she caught her breath while walking back to the kitchen.

“He's still stupid, though,” Iris whispered to Ignis who only smiled. He couldn't say that he disagreed because he wasn't sure if that would give away their true relationship. Also, he was certain that this was a thing between siblings and that Iris wasn't serious about it anyway.

“What are you whispering?” Gladio asked when he returned, too, now standing a bit too closer to Ignis as was probably acceptable for two friends, at least for Ignis, who was hyper aware of his surroundings since he entered their home.

“Nothing,” Iris said innocently. “Just go back and play with the others. We're not done here yet.”

Iris tried to push her big brother out of the kitchen but with little success. Gladio used that moment to make eye contact with his boyfriend and share a little moment before he eventually sighed dramatically and left.

For the next hours they both baked together, Iris teaching Ignis and Ignis following her instructions on how to make cookies, muffins and the basics of a cake. It took them a couple of hours until they were done with everything, when a hungry Noctis marched into the kitchen and demanded all the sweets. At some point they went to the living room – Ignis desperately needed some coffee to wash away all the sweetness in his mouth – and Clarus put on one of his favorite movies.

It was a romance.

Ignis finally understood where Gladio's interested in those cheesy things came from. He couldn't believe how much Clarus enjoyed these movies and how much he felt for the characters, just like his son. And if someone said that the shield of the King had a weak spot for things like that, nobody would believe it.

But Ignis enjoyed every second of it and he enjoyed Iris company a lot – she seemed to be the only sane person in that household, really – and was quite happy about all the things he had learned from her. Now he felt like he could recreate the dessert and bring his cooking skills to a whole new level, while, also, making Noctis happy.

After they cleaned the kitchen and realized they had still more left than anyone could eat, Iris said she'd go and share it with the others who worked inside the Citadel. Ignis nodded and went back to the living room to see an engrossed Clarus – there was another romance movie playing – and a Noctis who was passed out on the couch. Gladio, though, stood up and approached Ignis with the words: “Come on, I'll give you back your book and show you mine.”

Ignis nodded and followed Gladio upstairs knowing that the books weren't the reason they left. He could have gotten his book back any time Gladio came over to his place. What he wanted was to see Gladio's personal space and be alone with him for a while, though he had to admit, that it made him tense knowing Clarus wasn't that far away. Still he followed Gladio and felt a bit better when the door closed after they entered Gladio's room.

It wasn't as organized as Ignis apartment, but it was clean and _so_ Gladio, with all the books with ridiculous titles on his shelves, dumbbells in one corner of the room and a collection of games and movies on the other side. Then his eyes found the large bed Gladio owned and he suddenly became nervous. He had never let Gladio into his bedroom and now he stood there, thinking about all the things that were possible but he wasn't ready for, yet.

But his thoughts were cut short when he felt Gladio's hand reaching out for his and his other pulling Ignis closer into a hug. Usually Gladio kept some distance between them or a rather loose grip, so Ignis didn't feel uncomfortable or forced to stay close. This time he didn't, and it confused Ignis. But he liked the feeling of Gladio's body surrounding his smaller frame. He liked the warmth, the strength and his smell, but yet, refused to drown into it.

“Gladio?” he asked after a while in which they said nothing but breathed together.

“I can't believe I was jealous of my own sister,” Gladio groaned and eventually pulled back, looking away from Ignis, upset about himself and blushing deeply.

“You... what?”

It made no sense to Ignis.

“Yeah,” Gladio admitted embarrassed and still looking grumpy – he almost topped Noctis with that expression. “The way she took your hand and just was all touchy feely while I can't without raising questions in public. I didn't like that.”

Gladio squeezed Ignis’ hand and then looked at him for a while, as if to emphasize his words. It made Ignis speechless for some moments because he really didn't feel like Iris overstepped some lines or was too close to him. He got to know her as a girl who was strong and confident, but also ached for something Ignis once ached for, too, before his parents, officially, abandoned him.

Ignis couldn't help but chuckle, which made Gladio even grumpier.

“You of all people should know how devoted and loyal I am.” Ignis said.

“I'm not questioning your loyalty. I just don't like it when people get close to you.”

“Well, it's not like I let anyone close in the first place, right? And I think Iris simply was happy about the fact that someone could bake with her, which you and your father clearly can't do.”

“If you're saying that making Cup Noodles is not a talent, I don't know if I can maintain this relationship.”

Ignis laughed this time and felt Gladio relax when he held his hand in a more gentle way, as if all he needed was to be close to him, recharge, and make sure they were still exclusive before Gladio let go and pointed to his shelf. Ignis nodded and since there was no other option to sit on but the bed - well, maybe the floor - he sat down at the edge of Gladio's bed after he told him that it was more than fine.

Yet, it made Ignis nervous and he had a hard time sitting still, especially when Gladio sat down next to him with, at least, seven books in his hands. While Gladio showed him proudly that he didn't own only silly romance novels but also other things Ignis would enjoy, in his mind the words Gladio had said before echoed again and again. Until they bothered him so much that he simply nodded when Gladio asked if he wanted to borrow the books.

“Gladio?”

“Yes?” he asked after he put the books into a bag he had and placed it on his desk.

His eyes never left Ignis face while he made his way back to the bed and sat down next to him.

“Does it really bother you that much?”

“Someone else touching you? I know it seems stupid and perhaps primitive but-”

“No. I'm talking about the conditions I've asked for before we started this relationship.”

Gladio looked down and Ignis took that as a bad sign that maybe he was unhappy with how they were together. Maybe he had been playing the part of the happy boyfriend but wished for something else, something more. But Ignis simply couldn't give him that. The thought that maybe the conflict he had with himself that only let Gladio as close as he could endure, could be the reason for a break up, was painful and it caused a feeling of panic inside him he hadn't felt before.

“No,” Gladio said, dragging Ignis out of his little break down he was enduring inside him. “I said it back then and I'll say it again. I get it. This is a new experience for the both of us and I respect you in the same way you respect me. More than ever actually.”

Was it normal for feelings to grow, within just 6 weeks, to this unmeasurable mass inside his heart? Ignis didn't know but he couldn't do anything against it, not that he wanted to. However, he remembered that moment and realized that Gladio was right. They both respected the other and, even though they pushed each other, they never did it in a way that made the other feel uncomfortable. It was like they were walking a road together and while one managed to climb over whatever hurdle, the other needed some more time and strength to do so. But both of them waited and helped the other from the other side.

Ignis felt this sudden overflow of affection for Gladio and looked down at their hands, which were connected, and listened when Gladio said: “We do have different things we want. I'd like to make out with you all day long but I know I'd make you uncomfortable if I forced you. And yet you try, for me. And you like to talk about all these things I probably will never fully understand but I try, for you, and we meet each other in the middle. We make the choices together and that's why I don't feel bothered at all.”

“That sounds like a quote straight out from a romance you've read,” Ignis said to hide how much Gladio's words affected him and how hard he was falling for this man, again and again.

“And after such a declaration the couple usually kisses and has messy sex,” Gladio grinned, clearly hiding his own embarrassment.

“Not a chance.”

“I know, but I'm allowed to kiss you still, right?”

“I think your sister was right when she said you're stupid,” Ignis said and somehow found comfort in his new found sass because he wasn't able to put into words what he felt, not ready to make himself vulnerable. Especially not with Clarus waiting and probably wondering what they were doing so long in Gladio's room.

“And yet you choose me as your boyfriend knowing I'm not the smartest.”

Ignis hummed and closed his eyes when Gladio leaned in for a kiss that caused all the feelings inside him to go wild. Gladio smiled against Ignis’ lips when they stopped kissing and put enough distance between them in order to make eye contact. Ignis had been certain that this kiss would become something more but he watched Gladio lick his lips and his mind coming up with something.

“You know, I should have known that you were going to bake something for Noctis and not for you, since you don't like sweet food. You eat cakes and stuff like that only with coffee.”

Those words moved Ignis so deeply that he almost felt like crying after everything else that Gladio had said to him.

It wasn't the first time Gladio let him know that he knew a lot of things about Ignis. And he had learned them not because Ignis talked much about himself, but by watching him and paying attention, because he was interested and wanted to know who Ignis was. What he liked and what not, what made him laugh and upset. That someone would like him so much and be interested in his whole being, was so overwhelming that all he could do was hold Gladio's hand a bit tighter and lean in for another kiss.

It was the first time Ignis initiated a kiss and he could feel Gladio's surprise by the way he didn't kiss him back right away. But when he did it was as if a wall broke down and he nudged with his tongue against Ignis lips, asking for more and Ignis granted him that wish. He had no idea what he was doing and neither did Gladio but they found a clumsy rhythm and Ignis melted into it, moaning because Gladio did so, and wishing that he could find a way to keep him at his side forever.

Gods, this was so embarrassing but it felt so good. How his tongue met Gladio's, how the noises he made went straight to his mouth, deeper inside his body, feeding the flame that was burning inside him. And when Gladio's hand cupped the back of his head, Ignis felt a shiver run down his spine. What used to be labeled as gross and something he never wanted to do, suddenly became something he enjoyed and wanted more of, if it was with Gladio.

Eventually breathing became a priority so they both pulled back and Gladio looked at Ignis for a long time before he turned away and lay face down on his bed. Ignis fixed his glasses and waited for his heart to calm down before he looked down at Gladio with questioning eyes.

Was it bad? Did he do something so wrong that made Gladio look as if something was bothering him?

“Are you okay?” Ignis questioned.

“Uh... yeah. I just have a little... embarrassing problem,” Gladio admitted with a deep blush on his cheeks. At first Ignis didn't understand what he was talking about, but then he did and his face started to burn as his eyes looked anywhere but at his boyfriend.

“It's all your fault though,” Gladio said after a while, a laugh going along with his words.

“Is it now?” Ignis cleared his throat.

“Yeah,” Gladio confirmed and reached out for Ignis’ hand to hold it again. “Because I had no idea how sexy my cute boyfriend could be.”

Sexy?

Ignis never thought about being sexy or wanting to be. He was just himself, making sure to look dapper and clean wherever he went, in order to not disappoint the crown or throw any sort of shade on it. He never asked himself if he was attractive or sexy because it had never been important to him. Though, if it was for Gladio, Ignis wondered if he really was.

“So, all you care about are my looks?” Ignis joked with a serious voice.

“Don't ruin the mood, Iggy,” Gladio said, clearly knowing what he would cause by using that silly nickname.

“It's Ignis, Gladiolus.”

Gladio chuckled and squeezed Ignis’ hand while he sat up, his boner gone, followed by Gladio's blush. “What I mean is that I like to see you grow and change into a fine man, which you already are and will become even more. You probably can't see it yourself but I do, and I'll fight anyone who lays a hand on my beautiful boyfriend, because it makes me so proud that he chooses me over all the other men he could have.”

Ignis wasn't sure how much of these new feelings Gladio awoke through his words, he could handle. This growing happiness and something else, pumped right from his heart through his whole body, and he wondered how he was able to breath still.

So he did what helped him not to lose control and get drowned by these new feelings.

“I can defend myself, thank you very much.”

“You can be such an ass, Ignis,” Gladio chuckled. “Just accept my compliment and my feelings.”

Did he want to be sexy? Ignis didn't know, but he certainly didn't want to seduce anyone nor be the core of attention in the sense of romance for anyone but his boyfriend. Also, he thought the same way about Gladio, though it had little to do with his looks or his charms, but with everything he was and became, in and outside. If he would have said that he thought Gladio was sexy, he knew it would boost his confidence, while he didn't feel anything himself. Still, he accepted Gladio's compliment.

“Fine, thank you,” he sighed, wanting to smack Gladio's stupid grin away.

Yet, there was no need to deny that Ignis felt happy. So happy that when Gladio pressed one last kiss on his temple and held Ignis close, he simply melted into the embrace before they decided it was time to go back.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot and I hope you guys did as well. Also, did I mention that this fic will be long? I'm thinking about splitting it into two parts but I'm not sure about that yet. I appreciate every comment from you guys! Thank you for reading.


	10. Devotion

 

Summer break was close and everyone at school craved that needed break. The anticipation was filling the air and making it hard to study or focus and the rising summer’s sun heat wasn't exactly helping. Even Ignis, who respected the dress code at school, had a hard time with the tie, which felt too tight and warm around his neck. He sighed and loosened the tie a bit before he took his glasses off to wipe the sweat off his face.

And then he felt them.

His boyfriend’s eyes were on him, as if he was trying to bore a hole into Ignis’ head.

“It's warm,” Ignis said as a matter of fact, trying to justify himself. But Gladio was looking at him like some... hungry wolf, or something like that, something Ignis only recently discovered what it meant.

A couple of weeks had passed since Ignis baked with Iris and got much closer to Gladio, and the change he felt then wasn't just something he imagined. Ever since then, they both became bolder and Ignis also became more comfortable with showing and sharing his affection for the shield.

Three months ago he would have called Gladio out for trying to kiss him on the rooftops of their school, and he would have slapped Gladio's hand away from his stomach when Gladio placed his hand there while they were sitting on the couch, or squirmed out of his arms whenever he tried to cuddle, but now he looked forward to it.

Everything was different now and Ignis ached for those moments when it was just him and Gladio and no one else. But he was still blind and oblivious to so many other things, like Gladio looking at him as if he wanted to jump on Ignis no matter where they were. He was hesitant when his feelings grew so big that it scared him and rejected his boyfriend, who then would apologize for being too greedy.

It would make Ignis feel bad and embarrassed but then Gladio would show his sympathy and make him feel better by reassuring that Ignis didn't do anything wrong. Ignis believed him but he still felt bad about his own damn mind because he wanted more, but he hated to lose control over himself. By now he realized that in order to go further and get even closer to his boyfriend, he needed to let himself fall and give up his stubborn control. Because love was not something a person could control, love was something a person felt and let take over.

Yes, he understood that he was in love with Gladio. Since that day in Gladio's room he understood that his affection was not just a simple 'I like you' or a case of curiosity. He loved Gladio and he wanted to be with him forever, a thought that shocked him the first time it crossed his mind, making him freak out. But now it was a part of him and he wondered if he could say those words out loud.

But something was holding him back.

The three words couples said to each other were more important and meaningful to Ignis than he ever imagined. Whenever he imagined how he would say them out loud – and he even practiced saying them in his bedroom – the little freak out never disappeared completely, which told him in return that he never wanted to say them lightly. If he said them there was no way to take them back. But there was also another reason, which had been buried deep inside him.

Love had never been an important part of his life. His parents didn't love him as their son and the meaning and structure of love was never the foundation of his life nor formed him to become the person he became. It was something he heard about and read about, a rare thing that existed outside of his reality, almost like a creature from a fairy-tale that everyone wondered if it even existed. But then he learned about love and it's different forms and meanings. The love of a King, the love of a friend, the love of people who shared an interest. Ignis experienced love when he came to Insomnia but it wasn't the sort of love he needed to express out loud, or the one that made him vulnerable and that he was scared of, because he could never heal again if someone rejected his love.

For him, 'I love you', was letting all his walls down and a person into his heart, so close that they could destroy him.

For him, saying 'I love you', was making the promise of forever, asking for love in return.

But it was also one of the most selfish things he could say out loud, and Ignis was anything but selfish. Whatever he did, he did it for others. The only selfish moment he didn't feel bad about was when he cooked or read a book just because he liked it. Everyone called him selfless, and Ignis didn't think it was anything bad to show his gratitude towards the people who made this life possible.

While he had this conflict with himself there was also the question if Gladio loved him too. Ignis did feel loved and respected. He did feel like he was someone special to Gladio and that he was getting things from his boyfriend no one else ever gave him. It wasn't about the physical closeness they shared but about the things Gladio knew about him, noticed, remembered. It was about the things Gladio shared with him, the respect and trust he had for Ignis. But that was who Gladiolus Amicitia was by nature, someone who shared but also wanted something for himself at the same time.

He wondered about that a lot and whenever Gladio talked to his classmates, Ignis noticed that Gladio didn't say the truth about certain things. Like, for example, when one of their classmates talked about a famous – and yet ridiculous – romance show on TV Gladio watched every Saturday, he denied knowing it. That was enough for Ignis to know that Gladio didn't share everything with anyone and that he, too, made himself vulnerable in front of Ignis.

A lot of people trusted Ignis and his skills but Gladio trusted him on an entire different level, and it helped Ignis to be sure about their relationship.

And it made him happy.

All these thoughts crossed his mind whenever it was just the two of them and his thoughts and feelings melted together and became those three words he wanted to say. Though he was certain, Ignis couldn't shake off the fear he felt for what he would do if everything didn't work out. What if Gladio rejected him? What if he would fall deeper and deeper and then they would break up? He was so scared of the impact it could have on him that nothing left his mouth whenever the chance arose.

They were sitting on the school’s rooftop and he came back to reality,sighing and closing his eyes, while his fingers still ran through Gladio's hair, as he rested his head on Ignis lap – a couple of weeks ago Ignis would have called Gladio out on being too reckless, because anyone could see them.

“What's wrong?” Gladio asked and looked up to Ignis who opened his eyes and got lost in that beautiful brown.

“Nothing. I guess I'm just tired, like everyone else,” Ignis said. “Especially because the older Noctis gets, the more his responsibilities increase. And it's my duty to guide him.”

“Are you talking about the ball that is due in three weeks?” Gladio asked and took Ignis hand into his, resting them both on his chest. Through the thin fabric of their summer shirts, Ignis could feel Gladio's muscles and how prominent they had become. And when he looked at his face, at the stubble around his chin and the sharpness his face had gained, he needed to swallow because his mouth suddenly became dry, while his mind was going wild.

“Yes,” he managed to say in an even voice. “There are a lot of new things I need to take care of, but Noctis isn't very cooperative.”

“Obviously, he's a little brat,” Gladio commented with a chuckle. “But you're right. My dad is pushing me really hard and it sometimes feels like I can't breath. You probably enjoy all this work, huh? It's unlike you to complain about how much work you have.”

Ignis only smiled at him because he did enjoy all the responsibilities and that people trusted him and his abilities. “Even I get tired.”

“True. However, speaking of the ball,” Gladio began to say and moved up to sit. “Wouldn't it be great if we could dance together at the ball?”

Ignis raised an eyebrow at his grinning boyfriend. He liked the idea at first, followed by embarrassment and then, suspiciously, he said with burning cheeks: “Is this a request or a wish you have?”

“A bit of both?” Gladio tried with his charm but Ignis only stared at him, as if he was speaking a language Ignis didn't understand.

“I'm joking, don't worry. But I'm sure we'd look amazing and steal the show from everyone.” Gladio reassured him.

“What makes you think that?”

Gladio moved closer with that _hungry_ look – again – but he didn't move away nor did he flinch. He let Gladio close, let his hand rest on his waist and listened to what he said with a weak blush.

“Because I have the most intelligent and beautiful boyfriend and everyone would envy me. And, obviously, because of my charm ~~s~~.”

Ignis needed a moment to breath before he could say something. He wondered what Gladio saw in order to think of Ignis as the most beautiful person, but he didn't ask.

“Your ability to flatter yourself is truly impressive.”

“I've flattered you first, though,” Gladio whispered teasingly and closed the distance between them with a lingering kiss.

Ignis melted into it, another thing he would have never allowed or done on this rooftop either. Now, though, the kisses were making him feel like he was drunk – not that he knew what it felt like, since he never got drunk himself – and whenever they stopped, Gladio would smile at him in a new way that made Ignis forgot where they were.

“Would you really like to do that? Dance at a ball with me?” Ignis asked.

“Yeah,” Gladio simply answered. “One day I'm sure we will.”

Gladio talked about the future as if he had no doubt about them being together. It seemed so easy for him to think further and Ignis found comfort with this knowledge. But it still wasn't enough to let him share what he felt deep inside him.

They left the rooftop and went to their last class for the day.When they were done and bus on their way home, Gladio read a book and Ignis looked out of the window going through the mental list of things he needed to take care of. Though, when he felt how Gladio's fingers entwined with his, for no one else to see, all his thoughts disappeared and he focused on the feeling of it.

Ignis mind was reminding him that all these things - kissing in public when no one else was around, holding hands, smiling at each otherwere a risks. But his body kept saying yes, and so the voice of his sanity became quiet. It wasn't just about the need he felt. It was also about the thrill of getting caught, of being bold – Gladio would have described it as being 'young and stupid', a sensation that was equally foreign, like the concept of 'I love you'.

When they reached their stop, Ignis released his hand as if it was burning and Gladio grinned while Ignis blushed, trying to get the control back over himself. For him to give up control was so unusual and against everything he was, but those feelings were so much stronger, that he felt literally stupid – and it was the most embarrassing thing he had ever admitted to himself.

However, while Ignis managed to have at least some sort of control over himself, he failed entirely when he and Gladio exercised together.

Since April Ignis started to practice with Gladio and, while he wasn't too familiar with combat, he learned fast and got to know a new side of his boyfriend. He wasn't just a charming person with a ridiculous liking to Cup Noodles and ridiculous love stories. Gladio was – what Ignis had known all along but never experienced first hand – an expert about everything that involved weapons, fighting and exercising the body. It wasn't like Gladio was stupid and Ignis never, ever, thought that about his boyfriend. But his interests and knowledge were different and he knew so much about camping and the world outside... it was doing things to Ignis he couldn't explain.

They practiced three times a week but they weren'talways alone. Sometimes Clarus came over to check on his son, and it had little to do with the fact that he didn't trust his son, but he knew Gladio. Sometimes it was Cor and most of the time Noctis, out of boredom, that watched them exercise. Ignis was certain that he managed to appear rather indifferent when Gladio talked to him, touched him or generally stood closer than usual with others around. And it worked at the beginning but now Ignis was having a hard time. Literally.

Recently, whenever Gladio was wearing a tank-top, showing his strong arms and broad back and shoulders, Ignis felt like he was in some sort of trance. It only became worse during their practice and after, when Gladio was sweaty and his muscles stood out, Ignis couldn't help himself but stare and force his boner to calm down, but there was only little he could do. It was so embarrassing for him that he even bought special underwearto hide it. Which wasn't exactly comfortable, but he wasn't ready to have a conversation about something like that, not even with Gladio, who had no issues admitting that to Ignis.

However, the frustration he felt couldn't be controlled by anything for too long. Ignis didn't want to label it as sexual frustration but he couldn't come up with something else that made even remotely sense.

One afternoon, when Ignis frustration reached its peak, Gladio asked again the question that Ignis had always answered with something like 'I'm exhausted, don't worry'.

“You're more aggressive than usual. Is something wrong?,” Gladio spoke as he stood across from him. Both were breathing heavily, sweat running down their faces and Ignis shook his head no.

“I'm just trying to become better.”

Gladio eyed him for a while before he swung his wooden sword and said: “Yeah, sure.”

The fact that Gladio didn't treat Ignis differently compared to Noctis or any other person he was practicing with, showed the adviser that Gladio did take his duty seriously. He pushed Ignis as hard as the Prince, once he decided which weapons he felt most comfortable with. But unlike Noctis, Ignis was more than cooperative and he was, which Gladio needed to compliment and mention more than one time, very agile, flexible and a fast learner.

So when Gladio moved towards him, Ignis held his daggers tight and blocked Gladio's attack. He was smaller and looked weaker but he had a lot of strength in his body, which made Gladio grin as their faces came close. All this, that handsome face, the smell of Gladio and the sweat covering his body, drove Ignis almost crazy and, in order to create some distance he – somehow – managed to pin ~~e~~ Gladio down, holding his wooden daggers close to his throat while straddling him.

For the first couple of seconds Ignis didn't think anything. His focus was entirely on his breathing, his weapons close to Gladio's throat but not touching the skin and his eyes stared at a dumbstruck Gladio. When Ignis gained control back over himself, he leaned back taking the daggers with him and wiped his forehead dry. Gladio still didn't say a word and Ignis raised an eyebrow, until he felt something under his thigh, something thick and hard. He blushed furiously when he realized what it was. As fast as he could he climbed off of his boyfriend, the daggers falling on the floor in order to hide his face with his hands.

It was a ridiculous thought for Ignis, he realized that buying the special underwear was the smartest idea he ever had. Because the moment he felt Gladio's erection, a fire shot right through him and made him so hard that it hurt and he felt like he would come just from that feeling alone. Now he needed time to breathe, a moment to calm down. This was not the right time nor place, and he wasn't ready to talk about that with his boyfriend.

Gladio cleared his throat behind him and Ignis heard how he got up and how his feet moved closer to him but he never crossed the line, which would have made Ignis uncomfortable.

“I'm sorry...” Gladio started, his own embarrassment clear in his voice.

Ignis wanted to see his expression but he couldn't face him yet.

His mind was such a mess that he felt stupid for saying: “You... you were erected.”

“Uh... well... You're the first one who managed to pin ~~e~~ me down since I started training Noctis. And you looked so... hot doing that and I'm so impressed with the strength you have... I... I guess... yeah.”

Ignis wasn't sure what made him burn more, the fact that Gladio got hard because of him or that his own erection wouldn't calm down. But he could tell by Gladio's silence that he wasn't just embarrassed but also sorry and worried that he might have caused a big discomfort for Ignis.

And he affirmed Ignis thoughts when he said.

“I didn't want to scare you... I... Gods, this is so embarrassing. I'm really sorry, Ignis.”

Ignis then turned around and his eyes shot down to see if the erection was still there, but it was gone. Then he looked up to Gladio, who looked much like a puppy that got kicked. He wanted to go to him and give him a hug, kiss him and tell him that it was okay and that he wasn't scared. He had been just as aroused as Gladio was but his body was still burning, his skin still sensitive, and he was sure that, if he touched Gladio now, he would do something he wasn't ready for yet.

“I think we should stop for today,” Ignis said after he swallowed, because his mouth was still dry.

Gladio nodded slowly and Ignis hated to see him like that but he couldn't do more than that. He couldn't admit that he felt the same way, even though he was sure that Gladio wouldn't take it as some sort of invitation to do more. He, of all people, knew how hard it was for Ignis to let anyone close and, while he got used to cuddling, kissing and even making out, he wanted more. His body ached for it as if he was in some sort of heat but giving up his control in such a way, that scared him.

 

* * *

 

When Ignis entered his apartment he immediately took a long shower and took care of his problem with shaking legs. He had jerked off so many times since he realized how he felt for Gladio, but recently it was never enough. His mind imagined large, warm hands, holding him and touching him, but whenever he came close to lose control, he felt the worst. It was such a scary place, as if someone took the ground away from under his feet and no one was there to keep him from falling. It felt much like when he was still living with his parents and constantly trying but never achieving anything. Then, when he came to Insomnia he worked so hard and so precisely that now he couldn't help but view it as a burden.

An obstacle that stood between him and Gladio and one that hurt his boyfriend over and over again. Not that Ignis hurt Gladio on purpose, and it had little to do with what he did and said. It was about the things he didn't do and didn't say. Gladio thought that his forwardness caused Ignis discomfort and he apologized many times for being bolder and more daring, but that wasn't it. It was Ignis who should have kissed him more, touched him more and be more open about the way he felt and what he wanted. He knew that if he shared all of this, Gladio would embraced it all and do exactly what Ignis wanted.

But Ignis didn't do any of those things. They came so far and obviously he gave Gladio signals that it was okay to do more and be more, but at the same time he didn't - with his lame excuses and everything he left unsaid. Of course Gladio would blame himself for not reading the situation right. And how was he supposed not to? Ignis hated that about himself, how he trusted Gladio and at the same time he acted like he did not.

It was pretty late when he looked at his phone and there was no text from Gladio, only several from Noctis, and he felt the need to come clear and tell his boyfriend what was really on his mind. He typed a text to Gladio and edited it several times until he felt satisfied with it.

_Can you come over? I want to talk to you in person._

The answer came immediately.

**On my way!**

He placed his phone back on the table and counted the minutes in his head until he heard the familiar knock and left the couch to get the door. This time Gladio didn't hurry inside to kiss or hug Ignis, instead he looked like he was about to enter a foreign place, one that could be dangerous and hurt him. Ignis blinked, clearly confused to see his boyfriend in that state because Gladio could be charming, teasing but also very understanding, but he rarely looked like someone took something away from him or as if he was... scared.

“Gladio, I-”

“You're going to break up with me, right?”

Now Ignis understood nothing anymore and his mouth hung open slightly when the words reached his mind.

“What? What makes you think that?”

Gladio looked like he was about to cry and Ignis felt his heart shattered at the sight. Never, not in a million years, did he imagine to see Gladio cry. His handsome, strong Gladio who was always so positive and pushed people to do better.

“Because I make you uncomfortable with how much I want you.”

Ignis shook his head and stepped closer to wrap his arms around Gladio's neck – and in order to do that he needed to stand on his toes. And this time there was no voice keeping him from doing that, nor any feelings that held him back.

“I won't break up with you and you do not make me uncomfortable. Quite the opposite,” Ignis added with a whisper and he heard Gladio breath out, almost choke when his whole body relaxed and his strong arms wrapped around Ignis smaller frame to hold him for a while while he breathed Ignis in. It was a good thing, Ignis thought, that Gladio shared his issues straight and that he was not afraid to show his vulnerability, even if it got easily hidden by his teasing or his confidence. It was also definitely something Ignis should learn from his boyfriend and he realized that his thoughts had been true on so many levels.

He had hurt and confused Gladio because he never shared what he wanted or thought and he rarely gave back what Gladio shared so willingly and whenever he could. Affection, devotion, maybe even love.

“I'm sorry,” Ignis said and they both leaned back to look at each other.

“Why are you apologizing? It's okay if you tell me truth, Ignis. I mean, it's not like I understand my own body but I'm young and I can't control certain things. But I really don't want to ruin what we have because I have an angry boner. I swear I try to control it.”

Ignis chuckled and took Gladio's face in his hands. His sweet boyfriend could become a babbling mess, he knew that, and it was such an endearing thing he got to know since they've gotten much closer. Gladio would never do something to hurt or scare Ignis on purpose. Sure, he was big and scary, but he was even more gentle, with a soul that could give so much love. Ignis just needed to learn to grab it and give it in return because Gladio deserved it.

“I'm not scared,” he smiled and Gladio relaxed even more while he listened. “I'm apologizing for everything I didn't do and didn't say. I must have given you a lot of false signals and it's all my fault.”

Gladio blinked, confused, and then held Ignis hand gently as he guided them both to the living room to sit on the couch. Well, it was more like Ignis sat on the couch and Gladio was like a puppy, resting his head on Ignis lap and holding him close to probably, as he liked to call it, recharge, but also to get over the shock Ignis must have given him with his text. That text would confuse anyone after how they separated, he realized.

“You need to be more specific, Ignis,” Gladio said and looked up towards his boyfriend, calming down when Ignis let his fingers run through Gladio's hair and stroke his arm with his other hand. It wasn't an issue to give his boyfriend that, not when he clearly needed comfort more than anything right now, and Gladio was not scared to take it.

“What I'm trying to say is that I was not scared of you, Gladio,” Ignis explained and he thought that would have been enough and Gladio would understand, but his look told Ignis otherwise. He needed to be more specific and he needed to come clean and let Gladio know, truly and honestly know, what happened in his mind and to his body.

“I... I understand how you feel. My... my body does react the same way yours does and... it did today, too. After all, I'm... attracted to you and it's normal that our bodies do whatever they want to do, right?”

Gladio stared at him for some moments before he said what Ignis couldn't say out loud.

“You were hard too?”

He hated how easily he blushed when it came to rather sexual things, but he wasn't going to beat himself up for that because he had no experience whatsoever. And just because Gladio seemed to handle it much easier, it didn't mean that Ignis had to.

“Yes,” he admitted after his breathing turned even. “And it's... not the first time. I feel this... need more and more but I... it feels like I'm losing control and that is what scares me.”

Gladio hummed his approval and wrapped his arms tighter around Ignis middle.

“You trust me, right?”

Ignis nodded while his fingers ran through Gladio's hair, a gesture that calmed him down, but was also a way to show Gladio his feelings.

“Then do it. Trust me that I'll hold you and that I won't do anything you don't like. Tell me what's on your mind because it's hard for me to understand you sometimes. Trust me, because I trust you. I know you'll hold me and won't do anything I don't want.”

It sounded so easy when Gladio said it and it was something Ignis understood, and whatever he understood he could do. But his need for control was, this time, bigger than his selflessness.

“You take care of everyone and you do so much for others,” Gladio spoke on as he sat up to face Ignis and lock their eyes. “I understand that's part of who you are and what you always do. But you need all of this too, Ignis. Someone who takes care of you and stops you from overworking yourself. And I, as your boyfriend, want to take care of you. You just need to trust me, really trust me. I'll give you whatever you want, you just need to say it.”

Ignis couldn't hold the eye contact much longer and looked down, looking at his hand resting on Gladio's arm, up to his shoulder, across his chest and then to the other hand that Gladio used to hold himself up. It was as if he was trying to imagine and believe that those arms were strong enough to hold him if he ever let go, wondering if they could help him, give him what he needed without losing himself.

He knew they could, because they already did. Back when he returned from his parents, broken and lonely and aching for someone to hold him, Gladio was there. It was like a long lost memory that came back to remind him that this was the place he had felt safe in for the very first time in his life. Those arms held him when he cried and when he slept, and that was also the first time he truly found rest.

Why his mind never recalled that moment was a secret to Ignis. His mind, which was like some sort of library alphabetically and chronologically sorted to find whatever information he needed. But that was not just any information. That memory was also the beginning of his feelings for Gladio which, since then, grew bigger and bigger and started to create a new foundation of another Ignis Scientia he had yet to become.

“I want the same as you do,” Ignis confessed. “I want you... us to be closer and explore... more. I really do.”

He felt Gladio's lips on his forehead, felt the warm wave of affection filling his body and its corners and, somehow, he found the courage to finally look back at his smiling boyfriend.

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” Gladio whispered, moving an inch closer. But his lips never rested on Ignis'. No, of course not, Ignis thought. If he wanted to change and give Gladio everything in return, he needed and wanted to give as much as possible back. So he leaned in and closed the gap between them in a simple kiss, but one that calmed them both down.

As they pulled back he watched his boyfriend smile and move so he sat next to Ignis and opened his arms. His mind was already forming a question but his gut held the words back and Ignis moved into those arms and suddenly found himself in a position that became embarrassing quite fast. He was straddling Gladio's lap, again, keeping enough distance between their crotches. Gladio didn't pull him closer but let his hands rest on Ignis waist, knowing it was okay. Ignis, however, blushed and moved his hand up to push his glasses up his nose,trying, in reality, to hide his red face.

“This... this is kind of embarrassing.”

Even though he was fully clothed and they weren't doing anything, Ignis felt exposed.

“It is for me too,” Gladio said and Ignis needed to look at him then because he had to see if it was true. Gladio was blushing as well and his hands shook while they held Ignis gently. But perhaps holding Ignis body was like an anchor and, after swallowing and breathing so he wouldn't faint, his hands rested on Gladio's shoulders and his eyes looked at his boyfriend, while he told himself that he could trust him.

Wordlessly Gladio pressed a kiss against Ignis cheek, not telling him what to do or asking for anything and it sort of helped Ignis to come closer and smile while he leaned down to finally kiss his boyfriend in the way they learned to. He breathed through his nose when Gladio became more demanding and his tongue darted out between his lips to slip inside Ignis mouth, to which he granted access without hesitation. He knew that sort of closeness. They had shared it so many times since they broke that wall, but Ignis usually stopped when he felt like he was going to burn himself or lose himself in that new found dizziness.

It was a battle between his mind and gut, between his heart and his soul. He didn't want to be broken and he didn't want to be an obstacle either. Though, when he heard Gladio hum, his hand moving up to the back of his head, Ignis remembered that he loved him and that he wanted to be closer, so much closer. But his body was shaking and his hands still trembling and then Gladio did something that somehow turned a switch inside of him, so Ignis stood still.

It wasn't anything special really, Gladio simply pressed his lips where Ignis heart was and rested his head there, like a child asking for comfort, making himself vulnerable while hoping to be held. It was like Gladio gave up his own control and trusted Ignis to guide him from now on as he held him tight.

No, this wasn't anything a child would do, Ignis realized when he looked down and watched Gladio's face. This was his friend, his lover who was giving Ignis his own love, hoping he would hold it safe and sound and treat it with the same love and respect in return. And Ignis did it. And he was able to do that because he loved him and he didn't want to reject Gladio. This feeling of rejection, like the one Gladio experienced with his mother and him with his parents, while all they wanted was to be loved.

Now he understood completely.

It truly was like a new door opened and he entered it willingly, holding Gladio in his arms. And their bodies relaxed as if they had found the place they've been looking for for so long.

Yet, Ignis couldn't say the three words he practiced and that he had been thinking about for a while now, not until he would overcome this burden and finally trust Gladio in the way he did and deserved.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Gladio's forehead, running soothing circles on his broad back while his other hand stroked his cheek and found their way back into his dark, soft hair. He held Gladio for as long as he wanted to and smiled when they finally faced each other again and hummed when his bold, sometimes greedy, boyfriend stretched his neck to go back to kissing. Yes, this was Gladio as Ignis knew him and he chuckled into the kiss because, for a second, he had been worried about his boyfriend and that he might have failed at bringing his feelings across.

Apparently he succeeded because that teasing kiss and those large hands holding his hips and bringing him closer, were definitely a part of Gladiolus Amicitia Ignis loved, too.

Their kiss became deeper, dirtier, and there was no way Ignis could hold back his moans when he felt teeth on his lips and that hand back on the back of his head. He could feel how each touch of their tongues and each press of Gladio's fingers close to his ass and crotch, set his body on fire and let his blood run south.

Ignis broke the kiss, his glasses askew and his breathing quickened as he let the feeling grow and wander south more. His eyes looked down, to see the bulge growing inside his pants and, when he saw Gladio's bigger than his own, his mouth became dry again. He wanted to see it, to feel it and he didn't understand why he suddenly felt the need for all of this.

“You're hard,” Gladio pointed out and only then Ignis realized that he was looking down too and his face somehow managed to burn even more.

“Do you really need to point that out?” Ignis whined as he tried to not squirm away but remain there, overcoming his shyness.

“It's just... I never saw it no matter how many times I expected to feel or see it when we were making out. I thought I couldn't turn you on.”

Ignis wanted to be sassy but he held himself back and readjusted his glasses. Now was not the time for that but to be honest and share the truth with his boyfriend.

“I've... I've been turned on,” Ignis managed to say while he still looked down to watch their hard ons as if it was some sort of fetish of him. “Many times.”

“Yeah?” Gladio asked with an equal aroused voice and Ignis was surprised that he didn't come right there and then when Gladio whispered into his ear: “Do you jerk off thinking of me?”

Every other moment Ignis would have jumped off Gladio, told him to leave and take care of his issue alone but he didn't and, instead, he held onto Gladio's back with one hand as their eyes met and nodded slowly. The way Gladio sighed and licked his lips as he rested their foreheads together, caused Ignis to whimper when he felt Gladio's hands gliding to his thighs, close to their insides, in such a careful way, as if he was waiting for Ignis to stop all of this.

“Me too,” Gladio admitted, his breath ghosting over Ignis lips making him dizzy. So dizzy that he needed to hold onto his boyfriend more and more. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes, please,” Ignis begged and both his arms found their way around Gladio's shoulders, holding him as if his life depended on it. And when he felt his fingers on his clothed cock, Ignis started to shake and move his hips, even though he tried not to. Everything was white behind his eyes, his teeth biting his lower lip and his pants suddenly became warm and sticky, Gladio holding him througheverything just as he promised he would.

Oh Gods, Ignis thought when his mind started to shoot clear thoughts through his consciousness. Did he just...?

“Do... don't say it!” Ignis whined and hid his face in the crook of Gladio's neck.

His skin was red but cool through the thin film of cold sweat and it helped Ignis’ heated face. He knew Gladio and that he could make a stupid comment about the embarrassing fact that Ignis came just by feeling Gladio's fingers on his cock. It was meant to tease him, yes, but it was also meant to lighten the atmosphere but Ignis didn't need that right now.

“I came too,” Gladio said against his forehead and Ignis' eyes snapped open when he heard it.

What?

Slowly he pulled back, ignoring the gross feeling in his pants in order to take a closer look at his boyfriend’s face. He looked... wrecked, embarrassed and happy at the same time and when Ignis looked down, he saw a wet spot on his pants and on Gladio's, but also that they both were still hard.

Painfully hard.

“You probably have no idea how hot you are and what you do to me, Ignis.”

Ignis swallowed and wanted to say that Gladio had no idea what he did to Ignis, too. But he needed to comprehend the fact that he just came in front of his boyfriend, that the both of them did so, and it made him feel bold, bolder than ever. So he moved closer until their clothed cocks touched. They hissed together because they were still sensitive but Ignis didn't want to stop. He was finally where he wanted to be with the person he loved and it would have been stupid to stop now that his mind and need for control weren't an obstacle.

“One more?,” Gladio asked with a small grin, his eyes shining teasingly. Ignis nodded and looked back down with Gladio, whose hands were back on his pants, now opening the button and pulling the zipper down.

“You too,” Gladio said, as if Ignis didn't know himself, and he felt stupid with all this arousal taking control of himself. Yet, he did. He wanted to see and feel and when he pulled Gladio's cock free from his pants, his mouth started to water. He _really_ was into this, right? He really liked men and he really liked Gladio because he immediately imagined going down on him, sucking him and taking the greatest joy out of it. Though what was so easy to imagine, it was not something he could actually do right now without crying out of embarrassment.

Gladio probably felt Ignis rising conflict and guided him through the moment by pulling him back into a deep kiss and holding the back of his head, as his other large hand freed Ignis hard on and wrapped it around it.

“Oh shit,” Ignis hissed and moved his hips with Gladio's strokes, hearing his boyfriend chuckle because it was the first time he actually cursed in front of him.

When he got used to the new sensation, he remembered that he wanted to do the same to Gladio and between the kisses Gladio placed on Ignis cheek and neck, his hand wrapped around Gladio's erection, just to gasp. He was thick, long and pulsing, an angry shade of red spreading on the head after a couple of strokes. In his mind he wondered if Gladio could even fit inside him because his hand could barely circle around the thickness. Though, before his mind could go any further and scare him for the granted pain that would come when they reached that point, he was back kissing his boyfriend as if he was thirsty and he was water.

They kissed and stroked each other slowly and Ignis at some point moved closer so their dicks touched, making him moan right into Gladio's mouth when Gladio took both of them in his hand while Ignis wrapped his arms back around the shield and moved his hips in time with the strokes.

It was embarrassing, it was unfamiliar and sort of scary to feel this growing heat, to feel his control leaving him as he focused on something so primitive as rutting their cocks together to get the relief they both wanted and needed. But beyond all of that, it felt good, so good to do it with someone he loved instead of being alone with his hand and only wishing for Gladio to be there.

“You feel so good, fuck... the way you move your hips,” Gladio moaned and Ignis had guessed that Gladio could have a dirty mouth, but knowing and actually hearing it, turned him on so bad that he didn't even have the strength to deny anything.

“Gladio,” he whined when Ignis felt how close he already was, as more and more control left him and he held onto his boyfriend, seeking the anchor and comfort he had promised him. Because Ignis was about to fall.

“I'm here, I'll hold you,” Gladio whispered into his ear, holding their cocks tighter and stroking faster and Ignis followed his lead by moving his hips quicker. He moaned Gladio's name again and again and when he reached his limit, Ignis stood still and pressed his forehead against Gladio's, while watching himself and Gladio orgasm, dirtying every part of the shield's black shirt. Ignis shook for a while, his legs feeling numb and his lung begging for air, which hurt and felt too cold for his heated body.

Slowly he came down from his high, feeling Gladio's shaking hand on his thigh and his breath falling on his sweaty neck as he, himself, calmed down. Carefully Ignis moved back, blinking several times to get a clear view of his boyfriend's bliss filled face.

Did he look equally stupid? Because Ignis felt stupid after such an orgasm but he also felt happy, so happy that his eyes filled with tears and he didn't even try to hide them.

Without a word Gladio smiled at him and sat a bit straighter as his hand stroked Ignis' wet bangs off his forehead and readjusted his glasses, while kissing a tear away from his cheek. Then, when Gladio leaned back to smile at Ignis in his usual way, he noticed that his boyfriend also had tears in his eyes, not of sadness but of joy. His strong arms were back around Ignis’ middle, holding him close and Ignis saw how red Gladio's head became when he said against his chest, in order to hide his burning cheeks.

“Gods, you can be very lewd, you know?”

Ignis became equally red but hugged Gladio's shoulders and head to give him the anchor he needed to. It was a first for the both of them and it wasn't just Ignis who needed the comfort, but also his confident boyfriend.

“Says the one with a dirty mouth,” Ignis spoke for the first time in a while and his mouth was so dry, his voice scratchy and he ached for water.

“It was... the heat of the moment,” Gladio defended himself. “I've never done this before so...”

“I know. It's fine,” Ignis reassured him and giggled when Gladio held him tighter, like a little child, until he hissed when he felt the mess between them and the coldness.

“We... we should take a shower,” Ignis tried and gasped when Gladio's hands suddenly were under his knees and he stood up, taking Ignis with him. His eyes went wide in shock, his arms grabbing around Gladio's shoulders and his face was on fire again when he felt his dick hanging out, still touching Gladio's thick member, both soft by now.

“Together?” Gladio grinned and Ignis only glared at him, trying to get down from his arms. Gladio eventually let him but he still needed to assist Ignis, whose legs were still too weak to hold him up. Not quite happy about that, Ignis mumbled something about Gladio and the fact that he should hide his genitals as he did and Gladio couldn't help but bark out a laugh, while following Ignis’ request.

True to his words, Ignis pushed a pouting Gladio into the bathroom to take a shower first and then went to his bedroom where he kept some shirts and a pair of Gladio’s sweatpants – he would even need underwear, Ignis realized, shocked. They somehow, even though Gladio never stayed overnight,if not once, they still found their way there and it filled Ignis with a happiness that was also new to him. He took fresh clothes for himself, too and left his bedroom realizing that this was a lucky thing because his clothes would never fit Gladio, since he was much smaller than the shield.

Sometimes it was good to be as organized as Ignis was and he wanted to give back to Gladio his clothes. They probably were left here because Gladio carried his bag with him when he went to spare with Cor and he didn't bother going back home before coming to Ignis’ apartment, whenever he could. And Ignis kept them, washed them and thought that if he would ever be ready to let Gladio stay overnight, he would have these clothes for him in order to change if they ever went further.

Now it had happened, even though it hadn't been planned, and he wanted Gladio to stay. He didn't want to go to sleep alone and fall into this bliss. It simply didn't feel right and it hurt him to imagine a night alone after how he let his control go and gave his boyfriend another part of his being.

Ignis sighed and placed the clothes neatly on his bed as he took wet tissues from his nightstand and cleaned himself up before changing into his pajamas. With Gladio's clothes in his hands, he walked to bathroom door and listened to the sound of the shower until it shut off and Ignis knocked against the door and announced that he had clothes for Gladio. The door opened only a bit and Gladio's hand reached out for the clothes, which made Ignis laugh but he also felt happy for the fact that Gladio was so considerate.

He leaned against his desk as he waited for Gladio to come out. When he did, his smile vanished when his eyes found Ignis expression.

Oh Gods, did he make an expression that caused Gladio to doubt that what happened was right? Ignis shook his head once and then smiled when Gladio walked straight to him and reached out for Ignis’ hand.

“Are you alright? I didn't-” Gladio started.

“You didn't do anything,” Ignis said and immediately the tension left Gladio's body. “I was just... thinking if you'd like to stay here overnight, you can.”

“On the couch?” Gladio asked.

“N... no. Not on the couch,” Ignis almost choked out because he didn't even consider that possibility. “With me... in my bed because... I...I don't want to be alone tonight.”

Ignis looked down and waited for Gladio's words, but the first thing he felt were his soft lips on his forehead and then his low voice saying: “Of course. I want to be with you, too.”

A small smile spread over his lips when Ignis heard the words, but he didn't look up just yet. Instead he announced that he would take a quick shower and that Gladio should make himself comfortable in his bedroom.

While showering, he mentally prepared himself to share a bed with Gladio, and though he could imagine it all he wanted, nothing prepared him for what he felt when Ignis returned into his bedroom and found Gladio there, on the left side, waiting for him with the happiest smile ever on his lips.

Ignis swallowed and closed the door as he walked closer, his insecurity probably visible. But he didn't stop. His glasses off, he climbed under the covers and watched Gladio's smiling face turning into a grin.

“I have a question though.” Gladio said.

“And that is?”

“I'm still wondering how I never saw or felt it when you were hard. It's not like your dick is small, it's quite impressive.”

Ignis' words left him and he was sure he looked like his eyes would fall out any second. That was bothering him? Well, considering who Gladio was, Ignis shouldn't have been as surprised as he was. So he cleared his throat and decided to come clean if it really interested his boyfriend.

“I...have special underwear to hide it.”

“You... what? Why would you do that?”

Ignis blushed and held the covers up to hide his face, his heart beating so fast that he called it out inwardly to shut up. This was even more embarrassing than what they did before.

“Because I can't walk around with a hard on when everyone is around us. And it became worse since we started sparring together.”

Gladio looked like someone solved a problem he had been trying to figure out himself for a long time and then he smiled, warm and understanding, as he rested his arm over Ignis covered chest.

“You're really something else, mister Scientia. Finding a solution for everything, huh?”

“It's my job,” Ignis said and took the covers off his face when he turned on his side to face Gladio. His smiling, beautiful Gladio who didn't tease him but let his eyes shine with warmth and... love. At least Ignis labeled that look as love, but perhaps it was just affection and devotion. He didn't know, but that expression made him feel butterflies inside his stomach and his body moved closer. Gladio met him in the middle, pressing a gentle kiss on his lips and then made himself comfortable by wrapping both arms around Ignis body and resting his head on his shoulder.

He could feel Gladio's fast heart, he could feel how his own body relaxed in Gladio's arms and how he himself found comfort in that position, in that moment. It was a feeling he couldn't describe and he didn't need to.

Words would never do justice to what he was feeling.

But in his mind he said it over and over again:

 

_I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah! There is the smut-train coming :D!!! I hope you liked this chapter! And, thank you guys so much for the comments! It's really interesting and inspiring to read what you guys think and how you feel the story. Everyone's talking about how cute they are and I got so confused because... there is drama and angst ahead. So let's enjoy the happiness for now :) I'm sorry that I can't respond to every comment but know I read it and appreciate every thought you share with me! I'm already working on chapter 11 and I hope I'll be done with it by Friday or Saturday :) And if you like to talk to me or want to find my Gladnis playlist on Spotify you can do it [here on my tumblr blog](http://skrivarmelodi.tumblr.com/tagged/mon%20writes)!


	11. Wordless

_I want you_   
_Yeah I want you_   
_And nothing comes close_   
_To the way that I need you_   
_I wish I can feel your skin_   
_And I want you_   
_From somewhere within_

_Seafret - Oceans_

  

 

Ignis woke up feeling too warm and he wondered if he had gotten sick. Though, when he slowly came back to his senses, he felt something heavy around his body, hot breath on the back of his neck and a solid figure pressed against his back. In that moment he knew he was not sick. His eyes snapped open but his body didn't move when the memory of the previous evening returned and when he looked down and saw a ~~n~~ familiar arm.

Right, Gladio stayed at his place, slept over and they shared a bed for the very first time. And that wasn't everything.

Ignis burned from head to toe when he remembered what they did, what _he_ did and the dirty words Gladio said.

Within seconds he was fully awake and carefully freed himself from Gladio's arms, in order not to wake him. When he was sure that he was still sleeping and these was enough distance between them, he sat on the edge of his bed and looked behind his shoulder, watching his sleeping boyfriend, who looked so peaceful and as if he belonged there.

Ignis didn't understand why it was so easy to accept Gladio in his proximity and he didn't even try to think about it too much. He felt happy and content and for once he decided to let this emotion grow and happen.

He left the bedroom and walked to the bathroom in order to brush his teeth and look at his reflection. Somehow it was like looking at a different person, someone who became a bit older and more mature on a level Ignis didn't know until last night.

He was certain about his feelings, certain about what he wanted and all he needed to do was say it out loud. He promised himself that he would try because Gladio was worth it and he deserved honesty.

He returned to the bedroom and Gladio was still sleeping, his arm covering Ignis’ side as if he was waiting for him to come back. With a smile on his lips and his cheeks turning rosy he climbed back on his bed and lifted Gladio's arm to lay under it.

Though he wanted to watch his boyfriend sleep for a while longer and admire his handsome face, his movements woke Gladio up. The brown eyes were unfocused at first but when they found Ignis’ face and realized it was real, Gladio smiled and his strong arms embraced him to bring their bodies closer.

“Good morning,” Gladio mumbled against his hair. “So it was not a dream what happened last night.”

Ignis closed his eyes and sunk into the warmth Gladio's body was sharing.

“It wasn't. And good morning to you too.”

“Mmmh, you smell like toothpaste. Have you been up already?” Gladio asked and pulled back to face Ignis.

Ignis nodded without a word and let his fingers run along the hem of Gladio's shirt. He tried to decipher the warm feeling that was tugging at the corners of his lips, making him smile as if he was the happiest person alive. Perhaps he was because he loved the feeling of Gladio's body so close to his while they still weren't fully awake. He liked to feel his body-heat, his arms and hands around his body and his lips giving Ignis a good morning kiss.

But that wasn't enough for Ignis and he leaned back in when Gladio pulled back. His hands ran upwards, settling around Gladio's neck and his tongue found its way inside his mouth when Gladio let him, after some hesitation. It was still a secret to Ignis how he managed to break down the wall which had held him back from going further. There was still the voice in his head reminding him that he shouldn't be fooling around, and usually he would overthink everything, not doing what, in the end, he really wanted.

Now, though, his mind was silent and his body was speaking and, though it was still making him blush and tremble and feel embarrassingly exposed, Ignis couldn't stop. This love made him drunk, it made him stupid and it felt too good.

“Careful there,” Gladio whispered when Ignis left leg moved dangerously close to Gladio's crotch.

Ignis pulled back, lying half on top of Gladio. When their eyes met once again, he had to close them when Gladio's large, gentle hand, cupped his burning face.

“If you keep doing that, I'll get hard again.”

Ignis didn't really understand what the issue was but hearing Gladio say that, made him hard in an instant and he started to tremble, aching to feel his boyfriend like he had the previous evening.

Apparently Ignis made a conflicted face because he watched Gladio's expression change into a concerned one when he sat slowly up, holding himself up with his hands, which caused his muscles to strain and the dizziness Ignis learned to get used to, returned.

“Hey, are you alright?” Gladio asked.

“Yes. I... it's just that I don't... mind?” Ignis stuttered.

“You don't mind what?” Gladio asked, still concerned and now confused too.

“That we... do it again, I guess.”

Ignis felt really bad about himself because words were his weapons and, while he usually never failed to form a full sentence and keep his voice even and professional, he couldn't do it now. It was like this heat, this drunken state, cut off all strings to his mannered and proper self and brought another side of him to the surface.

And he felt like the teenager he was.

Gladio breathed out and Ignis watched his cheeks becoming red, too, accompanied by his handsome smile. It made Ignis feel insecure and he almost panicked because his mind told him that Gladio wouldn't want to. Though, when his hands rested on his hips, like just hours ago, and guided Ignis back on Gladio's lap – where he could feel his arousal - his brain shut up and his arousal took over.

“Are you sure?” Gladio questioned.

Ignis nodded, face glowing while his hands trembled as they rested on Gladio's stomach. He had no doubts and he showed it moving further up on Gladio’s lap to make their cocks touch ~~ed~~ through the fabric of their clothes. Ignis swallowed while Gladio moaned low and sent shivers down Ignis' spine. His eyes moved back up to meet the whiskey colored ones of his boyfriend and got lost in them when Gladio's stretched his neck asking for a kiss and Ignis bent down to grant his wish.

They moved together in a slow but alluring way and their kiss was deep but equally slow. Ignis was burning in every possible corner of his being and he gasped when Gladio's hands rested on his ass and then they were suddenly gone, back on his hips as if Gladio took that gasp as a negative one. Ignis whined and wanted to grab his hands and bring them back there where he wanted them, but he needed to come more than that.

His shaking hands let go of Gladio's shoulders and wandered down between them to free their erections. Gladio stopped their kiss and Ignis opened his eyes to see what Gladio was doing instead and swallowed when he noticed how his boyfriend was staring down where their bodies were connected and their erections free. Then his eyes looked back at Ignis’ and he was so fascinated by how dark they had become, how they were literally filled with brown shining liquid. But there was also something else. It was an inquisitive look Gladio used when he was trying to read a situation - in this case to read Ignis - and be sure he didn't misunderstand anything.

All words left him again and instead he wrapped his hands around their cocks and brought them together, loving the feeling more than he could admit and hoped that this would show his boyfriend that he really wanted this. Apparently it worked, because Gladio moaned right into his ear when he bent his back and started to move with Ignis again.

It didn't take long until they both reached their limit and it was Ignis who came first and Gladio followed shortly after.

Ignis waited until he calmed down and it was all thanks to Gladio's sweet kiss on his cheek that he found his senses again. He was sure that he looked more wrecked than Gladio and he wanted to smile and do something to show his affection, but he was still blown away by everything Gladio made him feel.

The words were on his tongue, trying to come out when he watched Gladio smile and felt his strong hands running soothing circles over his back. But all he could do was look down, feeling embarrassed and happy at the same time.

 

* * *

 

“One, two, three,” Ignis said out loud while he let Noctis lead him. But his Prince was not a good dancer and, even after weeks of practicing, he seemed to make no progress at all – which made Ignis doubt his teaching abilities. And when Noctis stepped on his foot with a bit too much strength, Ignis swallowed down the yelp and the frustration.

“Sorry, Specs,” Noctis mumbled and let go of his future adviser but glared at Gladio, who couldn't stop laughing from the couch of Ignis’ apartment.

“You might have royal blood in you, but you clearly lack royal grace, Noct.” Gladio said snickering.

Ignis said nothing because he was familiar with similar situations. Noctis became grumpy while Gladio took great joy out of teasing the Prince and pushing him a bit. Then Noct would look at Ignis, as if he had a solution for the situation. However, Ignis didn't say anything and went to turn the music off on his phone.

“Why are you even here, Gladio?” Noctis asked with a grumpy expression – as Ignis foresaw.

“Because I'm your shield and believe it or not, I can actually dance.”

Noctis snorted because he didn't believe Gladio and Ignis tried to remain indifferent but his ears listened to every word. So Gladio could dance? It didn't seem impossible considering that he had a younger sister and that Gladio went out with people a lot before they started this relationship, maybe even to dance at clubs.

“Prove it,” Noctis challenged him and Gladio shrugged when he stood up and approached his Prince.

“Ignis will be the judge of this. I'm sure you'll trust his judgment, right?” Gladio said before he took his position in front of Noctis and placed his hand on his waist. Noctis rolled his eyes and then yelped when Gladio, apparently, tightened his hold a bit too much.

“Ready, Princess?” Gladio asked.

“Better not break me, you're my shield after all,” Noctis mumbled and his grumpy expression only started to change when Ignis started the music again and Gladio took the lead.

Ignis loved every second of it, watching his boyfriend move his body – while ignoring Noctis complaints and his attempts to free himself from Gladio's grip. Ignis had seen Gladio fight and exercise and he knew about his strength and all the ways Gladio could move his body. But seeing him actually dancing and knowing what he was doing, made Ignis almost speechless.

Of course he was more teasing Noctis than dancing, but it was still visible by the way he moved his feet without missing a beat, and the way he led a uncooperative Prince, that Gladio did know how to dance. Ignis remembered how Gladio said that he would like to dance with Ignis at the ball and suddenly he really wanted it too. Though, beyond that, Ignis wondered what else his boyfriend could do with his body in... other areas. Ignis shook his head so hard his glasses almost fell off because this was _not_ the time to think about _that_.

His focus was Noctis now.

“You're too rough, Gladio,” Noctis complained and stepped away from his shield when the song was over, rubbing his waist.

“Quit complaining, Noct. I know you can do it if you just put your head into it.”

Noctis let himself fall on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting like a little child. Ignis watched him and then looked over at Gladio who seemed rather unhappy and about to give Noctis another lecture, but he held himself back when their eyes met, which Ignis gave him credit for.

“I don't like these balls,” Noctis eventually started. “It's all about politics and it's boring. I'd rather do something else like going out and eat ice cream for example.”

“Look, we get it Noct. But you'll be King one day and you need to learn these things. It's tradition,” Gladio tried.

“I'm going to ban dances from balls when I become King,” Noctis mumbled and caused Gladio to laugh and Ignis to chuckle.

“Well, then. Let's do it,” Gladio suggested.

“Ban dancing?” Noctis asked.

“No. Let's go eat ice cream and then we'll repeat this all over again. Sounds good?”

Noctis nodded with a happy smile and jumped off the couch to get to the door first. Ignis watched the Prince and then looked at his boyfriend who simply shrugged.

Ignis knew what he was trying to do. Noctis ached for normality, for friends – which he still didn't have outside of the Citadel. It was true that he and Gladio were his friends, but it was not the same as having a friend who wasn't tied to the crown at all.

Ignis knew all too well how much Noctis suffered because of that, because every attempted friendship turned out to be a benefit game for the other person. But Noctis was not a weak or an unhappy person. he still tried to make friends but he kept his defense up after all the experiences he had. So it was only logical that he hated those events, which were all about creating connections and bonds for whatever benefit. Real friendships did exist but were rare considering how uncooperative and tense the politicians were.

He wanted nothing more than a friend for the Prince and he hoped that, when Noctis entered High School, this wish would be granted for him.

They walked to Noctis’ favorite ice cream shop – Gladio showed him that place years ago, together with Iris – and while Ignis only asked for coffee, Noctis ordered himself a huge cup of ice cream. Ignis was about to remind the Prince of his diet, but he let it slide.

“How can you drink coffee when it's so warm,” Noctis complained while they waited for Gladio to return with their order.

“I don't function without coffee and there is still a lot to do before the ball begins,” Ignis said.

Noctis hummed to show that he was listening before he looked behind himself to see where Gladio was and beamed when he finally saw him walking towards them with two cups neatly decorated. Ignis watched them eat while they talked about some new game that came out last week and he wasn't sure if he felt disgusted by how they were able to eat this amount of ice cream or impressed.

“Ah, shit! My brain is freezing!” Noctis hissed at some point and Ignis couldn't hide the smile when Gladio teased him that he was eating it too fast, like a child, which Noctis denied being.

After their visit to the ice cream shop, they took a walk along the river and stopped at the school which Noctis was going to visit after summer break, before Noctis announced that he wanted to eat a burger.

It had been a nice afternoon, Ignis thought, - even though he questioned Gladio's and Noct's appetite - when they returned to the Citadel and Gladio accompanied Noctis to his room, to play the video game they had been talking about all day.

Ignis wanted to kiss him there and then when he heard that, because he took his duty seriously and cared about Noctis just as much as he did. Standing alone in the corridor while Noctis was already inside, Ignis handed Gladio a key to his apartment, knowing well enough that it would become pretty late before they were done with whatever game.

“A key to your apartment?” Gladio asked while he looked at the key in his hand.

“It'll be late and I can't guarantee you that I'll be awake when you come over,” Ignis said and only then realized what this could have looked like. “I... I mean, if you want to sleep... at my place again that is and if you... can.”

Gladio's silence made him insecure and his cheeks turned pink again when all his boyfriend did was stare at him.

“I can take it back-” he eventually said but Gladio closed his hand so Ignis couldn't take the key back.

“Of course I want to. I'm just fighting with myself to not jump on you and kiss you silly,” he explained quietly so no one could hear it but Ignis and his ears sucked in every word Gladio's low voice said.

Gods, yes.

He wanted to kiss him too but he also wanted for Noctis to be happy and have some quality time with Gladio playing video games.

“You... you can do that later,” Ignis stuttered and then excused himself before he lost all of his control.

 

* * *

 

As Ignis calculated, Gladio entered his apartment in the middle of the night and the unfamiliar sound of someone entering his apartment, was what woke him up from his slumber. First he felt alarmed and then he heard the familiar shield’s footsteps and smiled to himself when Gladio opened the door to his bedroom after using the bathroom.

Ignis reached out for his lamp on the nightstand and turned it on, smiling when he saw Gladio in his pajamas and that happy expression on his face. Slowly he shifted to make room for him and closed his eyes when Gladio climbed under the covers and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“You left a toothbrush for me,” Gladio remarked elated, as if someone had given him a gift.

“I certainly don't want to kiss you and taste whatever unhealthy things you and Noct ate.”

“But Cup Noodles taste good. You're hurting my feelings here, Ignis.”

The adviser chuckled sleepily and placed his hand on Gladio's cheek, his thumb running along the beard around his chin. It made Gladio look older than he actually was but it made him also look far more handsome than when he shaved.

“I can accept your little fetish but only because of what you did for Noct today.”

“Winning Ignis Scientia's heart means I have to spoil the Prince, got that.” Gladio quipped

“It's supposed to be a secret,” Ignis pointed out and made Gladio chuckle. “However, I mean what I said. Thank you for being so good to Noctis.”

“Hey, even though I push him doesn't mean I don't love him like a brother, because I do. I understand his burden and I see that he's trying. But I'm certain he could do much more if he wanted to,” Gladio said.

“I have no doubt either, but he's still young and we should let him be young too, shouldn't we?” Ignis said.

“Yeah, I guess you're right;” Gladio agreed and laid down next to Ignis so they were facing each other. “You really care about him.”

Ignis looked down, not denying Gladio's words.

It wasn't just about Noctis.

It was about everything the crown did for him and all the doors they've opened up for him in order to have a better life. His gratefulness and his loyalty was unwavering and he wanted to show it through the way he took care of Noctis. But yes, he did care a lot about Noctis and considered him a brother, just like Gladio did. Though his way of showing it might be a bit different from anyone else and Ignis didn't think it was a bad thing. He was who he was and everyone was different.

“He's the first friend I ever had and I made an oath, just like you did.” Ignis said.

“We did, huh? It makes me almost jealous that Noctis will always be your number one,” Gladio said with a shrug, as if to give his words less meaning.

Yet, they were said and Ignis took them in and felt alarmed. It was true that Noctis came first and it was something they had talked about before they became boyfriends. Things changed and Ignis understood that this view might have changed for Gladio as well. But what was he supposed to do? He couldn't and he wouldn't ever put Noctis second, but he also wanted to give Gladio his everything.

“Hey, don't make that face. Noctis comes first, for you and me,” Gladio tried to reassure him but Ignis was already thinking too much about it.

It was true what Gladio said but there was still a difference for Ignis. There were a lot of things he didn't share with Noctis but he shared with , his boyfriend, and there were all these things he didn't want to do with anyone else but Gladio. Ignis wondered if it was enough and if he would ever be able to put Gladio before anyone else.

Though, did he had to? Couldn't two people share the same priority but in a different way?

“Ignis, I didn't mean it like that. Stop thinking too much, okay?” Gladio said and placed a kiss on Ignis cheek and it worked to break Ignis cloud of thoughts.

His green eyes looked right into Gladio's as if he was looking for some sort of courage, some sign that if he confessed his feelings through words, that Gladio would believe him. But it felt like the wrong moment so Ignis simply nodded and moved closer. If words were wrong then he could at least try to communicate his feelings with his body, right?

With his glasses off he held himself up with his left arm as the other rested on Gladio's chest

“I understand,” Ignis said as he remembered that he still needed to use some words, even if it weren't the ones he wanted to say. “We're important to each other in a different way, right?”

Gladio breathed out, his body losing tension and his smile becoming more honest.

“You really scared me there,” it was a breathy laugh coming from Gladio's mouth. “As long as I'm the only person you make out with, I'll be fine with your loyalty towards the crown.”

Ignis knew Gladio's humor and he should have understood it right from the beginning. But he didn't and he blamed his brain for working overtime again. So he chuckled and rested his face in Gladio's hand when he cupped Ignis cheek gently.

“You promised me kisses,” Gladio grinned when the tension left the room.

“Have I now,” Ignis whispered and leaned down, kissing Gladio's giggles away until they were fully making out and Gladio's large hand, wandering down his back, made him gasp.

They really shouldn't be going further than that since the ball was so close and Ignis needed to work early, but he was addicted to this new intimacy. The blush returned when he thought about what he wanted to do, what he had been aching to do since he saw Gladio's cock.

“Can I...,” he started but it wasn't easy to formulate a full sentence with his dizzy mind and the prospect of what he wanted to try. “Can I... blow you?”

The hand on his back didn't stop its soothing pattern but Gladio's face changed its expression and Ignis felt his blush deepen and a new kind of insecurity rising inside him.

“You sure you want to do that?” Gladio asked and Ignis had his difficulties figuring out why he would ask that.

Of course he was sure otherwise he wouldn't have asked something like that. Ignis never did something without thinking about thoroughly, especially not when it came to intimacy.

Ignis nodded and waited for Gladio to say something and when he kissed his cheek and whispered an 'okay', Ignis wanted to smile and show Gladio how much his trust meant to him, but his shy persona controlled his expression and his nervousness took over.

With his shaking hands Ignis held himself up until he was kneeling and Gladio moved too to sit and lean against the headrest, his eyes watching Ignis the entire time, especially while he pushed his pajamas down. Ignis couldn't help himself but whimper when he saw his boyfriend's half erected cock.

He had been fantasizing about this moment far more times than was probably healthy and it was a shock at first when Ignis realized how much he wanted this and how much he was into it, even without actually having any sort of experience. But his mouth started to water and his shaking hands reached out for Gladio's thick member, veins becoming more prominent when he started to stroke him and felt it grew bigger and harder in his hands. The thought that he was the reason why Gladio became hard, aroused him ridiculously fast.

His green eyes looked up to Gladio's face, seeing the red color on his cheeks and how his eyes watched Ignis face but not his hands. Though Gladio could have a dirty mouth and perhaps come across as someone who liked to have any sort of sexual contact, he, more than anything, took care of Ignis and his own well being no matter what they did. It was a reassuring fact and Ignis swallowed when he looked back down, totally aware of his boyfriend's eyes on him, aiming to give him pleasure in a way both didn't know yet.

He heard Gladio's shuddering breath and felt his hands on his back, warm and comforting before he recalled all the videos he saw about how to give a blow job and then pressed his lips against the head of Gladio's cock. It was easier to watch then actually do it because he also had to experience the taste, something that Ignis didn't know if he liked or not.

But it wasn't actually important.

With the tip of his tongue he started to lick slowly around the head, getting used to the taste and smell and swallowing down a moan when he thought that this was Gladio.

He closed his eyes and continued licking and kissing along the shaft and when he opened his mouth and tried to get it inside it became awkward because that was easier said than done. Gladio was big, but not so big that he couldn't get him inside his mouth. So Ignis tried, managing the tip and choked when he tried to take too much too far and he couldn't relax properly.

By now he understood that there were things that, especially when it came to be intimate and in a relationship, he couldn't understand or know how to do within a couple of hours. Still, it annoyed him and the conflict he had with himself and how he wished he could be more... skilled - though he doubted this was the right way to describe it - was written all over his face. All he wanted, after all, was to bring his feelings across this way,since words were so hard to say. Not to mention that, the more he tried and tasted, the more he liked it.

“Ignis,” Gladio's rough voice startled him and Ignis opened his eyes, tears making them glassy, his mouth a mess of spit and pre-cum. “Please, stop.”

Ignis froze when he heard Gladio's words and saw the frown as if Gladio didn't like what he was doing. He let go and watched his boyfriend, whose face relaxed when he let go of his cock.

Did he hurt him? Was he so bad that he brought pain instead of arousal?

“You have a long day ahead, right? We should go to sleep instead, okay?”

Gladio's words confused him and shook his core in an unfamiliar way.

He didn't move and he didn't say anything because he felt like he had ruined something that didn't even got the chance to finish and when he looked at Gladio's cock and realized it ~~'s~~ had gone soft, the same happened to him and he felt terrible. Scared that the words he would chose could be wrong, Ignis nodded slowly, wiped his mouth clean and climbed back up, right into Gladio’s opened arms.

And even though Gladio kissed his forehead when Ignis rested on his arm, and even though he held Ignis just like he always did, close and safe, he felt restless and couldn't fall asleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter was supposed to be a bit longer but then it became too long so I needed to set the cut there. I feel so sorry for Ignis and I'm curious about your thoughts! I'm almsot done with the next chapter :)


	12. Dancing

_Can I lay by your side?_   
_Next to you, you_   
_And make sure you're alright_   
_I'll take care of you_   
_I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight_

_Sam Smith – Lay Me Down_

 

 

 

Gladio left early in the morning because he had a meeting with his father and the other guards – just like for Ignis, his responsibilities were growing. But Ignis couldn't help himself and think that it was odd. Gladio followed his duty just like Ignis did but he also risked to arrive late sometimes only to spend more time with Ignis or do other things he liked to do. It was a charming and, at times, annoying characteristic of Gladiolus Amicitia.

That morning, though, it felt like Gladio was trying to escape from Ignis and he wondered if that was what was actuallygoing on or if it was just his mind going wild because of the way Gladio basically… rejected him.

Ignis remained in his bed a while longer after Gladio left and held his head in his hands, trying not to cry as his brain punished him with one bad scenario after the other.

Okay, so Ignis knew he wasn't exactly an expert when it came to blowjobs or any sort of intimacy – something Gladio knew and respected and, for that, he never made Ignis feel as if he was expecting more. Maybe it had little to do with what Ignis felt ready for and what he could do. Maybe it was about something else but between all the other thoughts he had, this one stood out like a shining object surrounded by dirt.

What if Gladio wasn't attracted to men? What if he was fine with certain things but going further than kissing and jerking each other off was simply too much? What if he liked women after all? There was literally nothing Ignis could do against that, if that was the case. And his mind was persistent that only that could be the logical answer to why Gladio had turned soft and why he had stopped Ignis from making him feel good.

Though Ignis had his doubts that Gladio would start something without really being sure about it, he himself knew how fast a person could change. He, for instance, had never wanted to be intimate with anyone, never mind give a blow job and having sex.

For him everything had changed during the past weeks and, if it had changed for him, it might as well have been changed for Gladio.

He tried to come up with some other reasons, like that maybe Gladio didn't feel ready for more and that he didn't reciprocate Ignis’ feelings.

But that thought hurt equally as much as all the other ones.

With his heavy mind he got ready to meet with the Prince and put on the best facade he could manage. Though, when he entered Noctis room, he immediately noticed that he was not the only one who washaving a bad day.

Noctis was sitting on his bed, sulking as his blue eyes stared at the suit in front of him, showing Ignis what he already knew.

Noctis didn't like these balls and he didn't like to talk about things he wasn't ready for yet. Besides, his father became busier with each passing day and Ignis tried to recall the last time he saw them together. It felt like a very long time ago.

“Good morning, your Highness,” Ignis spoke to announce himself and Noctis then looked up, though his expression did not change much.

“Morning,” Noct mumbled and then moved to sit at the edge of his bed, while his head still hung down.

Ignis watched him silently as he set his bag on the table close to the window and then slowly approached his Prince.

First he looked at the suit and noticed the two buttons he needed to sew – again. Then his emerald eyes wandered back to the Prince and he didn't say anything still. Noctis reached that age in which he simply couldn't express everything he felt or didn't want to, and Ignis was not going to push him. Or at least not today because he himself was not ready to talk about his own worries.

Not that he had anyone to talk to, really, since their relationship was a secret.

He took the suit from the bed, together with the buttons, and walked back to the table to get needle and thread.

“I've prepared your breakfast,” Ignis let him know taking the box out of his bag.

Noctis nodded and when Ignis was already taking care of the buttons, he joined him at the table and opened the box, smiling when he saw that Ignis – only this time – didn't put any vegetables inside it. But his smile disappeared seconds later and with a sigh, Noctis closed the box and sat down next to Ignis, leaning his head against his shoulder.

Those moments became rare, Ignis knew, but the fact that his Prince still found comfort in him made him happy.

If Noctis couldn't be strong, Ignis had to instead.

“I don't like these balls,” Noctis said eventually.

“I know you don't.”

“It's all fake and everyone is just boring.”

“But they are still important,” Ignis said. He didn't want to lecture Noctis today sincethe ball was in four days and upsetting him now wouldn't have been smart.

“Can't we do something else? You, Gladio and I? Like watch a movie or something?”

It was a miracle to Ignis that he did not flinch nor made any sound that could reveal how much the thought of Gladio hurt and scared him right now.

“We can do that after the ball is over,” was Ignis answer and Noctis groaned – his new way to answer Ignis sass.

“Do you really enjoy stuff like that though?” Noctis asked and leaned back to see Ignis face properly. “I mean politics and all the documents and reports. Just thinking about it makes me tired.”

“Believe it or not, it's not just my duty but also a part of my interests. I like to know things and be prepared,” Ignis said and it was the truth, but he didn't share how he felt like he owed Noctis' family his life nor that he wanted to show his gratitude through properly serving the crown, no matter what they wanted. “And I care about you, so I want to see you doing your best and guide you in the best way I can, especially when you can't.”

His eyes wandered back to Noctis to see his cheeks becoming rosy but his face remained grumpy, and Ignis couldn't help but smile. It was so much easier to admit all of this to Noctis but it was so hard to do the same with Gladio perhaps because Gladio could break him, since he owed his heart in a different way than Noctis did.

“I'm done with your suit,” Ignis announced and stood up. “Let's go through the list of guests again. It's important to know who you're talking to.”

“I know, I know,” Noctis groaned but did as Ignis told him.

Ignis spent most of his day with Noctis and managed to push the thought of the previous night away. It was easy because Noctis provided him a good distraction as he talked about the fact that he would live on his own in a year and that he looked forward to it.

Ignis, however, feared the day Noctis would drown in his own dirt. Later he went to the kitchen of the Citadel, which had far more utensils than he did, in order to recreate the pastry for Noctis. He didn't tell anyone that he used the kitchen of the Citadel because, even though he had gotten used to have Gladio around - whenever they were allowed to - or be with Noctis, Ignis still needed his own space.

He baked for a while and talked to the cook who gave him a lot of advices on how to create the perfect dough for cakes and pastry. He told Ignis all about seasoning, food combinations that seemed impossible but actually worked and he also shared his dream. He wanted to leave Insomnia and find more recipes they probably didn't know about. Ignis never thought about leaving Insomnia but if he wasn't Noctis future adviser and working for the crown, he probably would have the same dream.

He thought about that dream for a long time and it made him happy when he thought about that. Maybe, he decided, he should keep that dream inside him and one day, perhaps, it could come true. But his new thoughts got interrupted by his phone going off and showing him that he had gotten a new text.

It was from Gladio, and Ignis heart started to beat in a painful way.

He cleaned his hands and opened the text;

' **Are you still working? I'm free now!** '.

It was a typical message from Gladio, as if nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. But for Ignis everything seemed wrong and he couldn't deal with Gladio because he felt like he couldn't breath just communicatingvia text.

Yet, he couldn't ignore him like that and texted a simple ' _Yes, I'm still working_ ' back.

The answer came right away.

**‘** **I can wait for you in your apartment** **’**

There was something sharp and painful cutting his heart when he imagined Gladio in his apartment, just the two of them. He imagined how he would kiss him and get rejected again because Gladio had come to some sort of conclusion. Of course Ignis couldn't be sure about that, but why would Gladio reject him when he himselfwould try to jump on Ignis whenever he got the chance to?

It must be because the idea was different from reality.

No, Ignis couldn't face him today… he would see him tomorrow afternoon anyway.

_'No, sorry. I have some reports to read and things to prepare for tomorrow. You know the ball is only a week away. I want to focus on that.’_

Ignis reread the text several times to make sure it sounded like him and not like he was looking for some excuse because Gladio would sense if it was a lie. He sent it and when Gladio's answer was a ' **Okay, see ya then** ', Ignis felt like he had succeeded.

Though, when he returned to his apartment and looked around, everything reminded him of his boyfriend. The couch where they watched Gladio's favorite show and made out or simply cuddled, the kitchen where they cooked together and Gladio showed his honest interest and his bedroom, where they held each other while sleeping. There were so many good memories in each corner of his apartment that the pain he felt became almost too much for him.

Was all of this over now? Was Gladio treating him normally to prepare Ignis for the moment when he would dump him? Gladio was gentle, the most gentle person Ignis knew , and it made sense to him that Gladio wouldn't want to dump Ignis overnight. An ugly sob fell from his lips before he even felt the tears falling, his body started to tremble and he felt sick to his stomach. No matter how much he thought about everything, no matter how many ideas he had, Ignis understood that he could not force anyone to stay by his side nor love him. He had learned it the hard way watching his parents and he experienced this sort of pain when he realized what he felt for the shield but couldn't reach him.

Now he knew all about Gladio's gentleness, about his soft and warm hands that could hold him in a way no one else was able to. Ignis knew so much and loved it all and the thought that he couldn't have that anymore, that his love would remain unrequited, was so painful that breathing became the hardest thing for him to do.

 

* * *

 

The next day his mind was much clearer but he still feared the afternoon when it would just be him and Gladio. Even though they hadn't seen each other for a whole day, it felt like a week, and Ignis wished that time wouldn't fly by so fast. But he was powerless over time and, even though Noctis and the ball’s preparation managed to distract him, he couldn't stop his hands from sweating nor his knees from shaking when he stood in front of the training room door.

He didn't want that.

He didn't want to get dumped by Gladio because he was a guy or because he sucked when it came to intimacy. Ignis knew he could learn and he could change but he, just like the day before, knew he also couldn't force Gladio. Perhaps the smartest thing to do now was talk, talk it all out and find a solution and Ignis felt ready to do that, but his ambitions vanished when he opened the door and saw Gladio, smiling as if nothing had happened.

It confused Ignis to his core and irritated him in a way he wasn't familiar with. Gladio smiled with his shining eyes and his handsome face as if nothing was wrong and Ignis couldn't take that. Gladio really wanted to let him down gently, then. With a last deep breath he crossed the hall to the other end where Gladio was waiting, already holding his sword.

“Hello,” Ignis said in a stiff way he didn't even intend to.

“Hey, what's the matter? You look like Noctis threw a tantrum,” Gladio said with both eyebrows raised. Was his expression so obvious? Ignis ignored Gladio's words and picked up the daggers hanging in the cabinet.

“Ignis? Is something wrong?” Gladio asked again and, when his hand touched Ignis’ arm, it was like he set it on fire.

It wasn't gentle nor warm, it was a cold fire, piercing into his skin through his clothes and he freed his arm while sharply breathing in. His reaction made Gladio take a step back as well and they just looked at each other for what felt like forever.

Ignis rubbed his arm when he looked away because he couldn't look at Gladio's surprised expression. Gladio was not stupid so he must know what the problem was. Why was he acting like he had no clue, then?

“Please, don't touch me,” Ignis managed to say.

“Quite the thing you ask for, considering we want to spare, right?” Gladio commented as if he was trying to lighten the mood but Ignis only glared at him.

The situation was not funny at all.

“Sorry... Do you want to-” Gladio started.

“Talk? No,” Ignis finished the sentence for him. He didn't understand why he was there and he had no idea how to handle the situation.

“Ignis, we've been through this, right? If you don't talk I won't be able to understand. And something is obviously wrong.”

Was Gladio waiting for Ignis to mention what happened two nights ago? Was he really playing dumb? Was _this_ his way to let him down gently?

Ignis felt angry and hurt but over it all, he felt sad. He didn't want to get dumped, that was a fact, but he also didn't want to get let down gently because it would hurt even more, he was sure of that.

“I'm going,” Ignis announced, feeling his eyes starting to burn.

“Wha- Ignis, wait! ” Gladio exclaimed but Ignis turned around and left the room.

Ignis didn't even bother changing his clothes when he made his way back into his apartment. All he could think was that he needed space and time. He needed a lot of time to himself before he could actually accept everything. But it wasn't easy, not at all.

During the next couple of days, when everyone was busy with the preparations for the ball, he and Gladio met several times in the hall and he always tried to talk to Ignis, or make him talk.

But Ignis couldn't.

Whenever he thought of Gladio, saw him or heard him speaking, his heart hurt and, even when he felt like he could deal with a break up, the moment he was alone, the pain broke his heart and he couldn't stop his tears from falling. He didn't want to get dumped not gently, not harshly. He didn't want to be with anyone but Gladio. He loved him and Ignis didn't know what to do with this love if he got rejected for real.

He could handle the idea but he couldn't handle reality and, while he refused to talk to Gladio again and again, Gladio eventually stopped pushing him. Ignis was grateful for that but at the same time it felt like Gladio had given up.

His mind had never been more of a mess and he couldn't recognize himself anymore.

 

* * *

 

“You look tired, Ignis.”

It was Clarus who spoke, while Ignis was watching Noctis going through the welcoming ceremony with his father – just a couple of hours before the actual ball – and that sight alone had become rare in the past months. That's why Ignis was so focused that he didn't notice Clarus approaching him, otherwise he probably would have gone somewhere else, pretending that he needed to take care of something.

“I haven't gotten enough sleep lately,” Ignis said and thought that it was ironic that the father of his boyfriend had noticed and mentioned how tired he actually was. Clarus was the first one to do so or maybe he was the only one who actually had the courageto do it.

“The older you get, the more responsibilities you have. But you'll get used to that with time. Yet, I understand how tiring it must be. I've been through that too and I also see how tired Gladio is.”

Ignis tried to remain indifferent from the outside but his ears were on alert when he heard Clarus talking about his son. So, Gladio seemed to be tired, too? Or perhaps in a bad mood? Was it because Ignis was ignoring him or because Gladio still hadn't find a way to break up with him? Though, when Ignis thought about it, was Gladio really that sort of person that would hold back his thoughts? Sure, he approached Ignis in a different way, careful, understanding and always making sure he felt comfortable. But he never lied to him, right?

“I thought it had something to do with how busy he was but when I asked him why he was so crabbed he said because you two aren't talking .”

Clarus words felt like a bomb exploding in Ignis head when he heard them. Gladio did what? Instead of panic Ignis felt worried because Gladio had kept his promises and, even though he liked to tease Ignis about becoming a public couple, he would never let something like this slip, not even in front of his father.

“Well, we've both been busy,” was all Ignis said and Clarus nodded.

“You should talk to him, though. You can handle your new responsibilities but Gladio is stubborn and free spirited. I think a word from his friend would help him.”

Ignis agreed wordlessly but knew that the issue was not because his _friend_ refused to talk to him. It was his boyfriend who did so. But Clarus words somehow helped him clear his thoughts and realize that Gladio might not want to break up with him after all. Maybe the issue was a different one and Ignis had made this whole thing bigger than it actually was?

He sighed and looked back to Noctis who seemed to be done and ready to leave.

Ignis felt his phone vibrating and there was a message from his Prince that said 'I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up later?'.

Ignis texted him back ‘ _W_ _ill_ _do,_ _but don't fall asleep dressed like you are. Change into something else._ ’since he really didn't want to iron his suit again right before the ball started.

His eyes looked up to see if Noctis had left alone or not and saw that Cor was with him and they wereleaving the hall together. There were still five hours left before the ball would take place and Ignis decided to use that time to talk to Gladio and bring them both out of their misery, now certain that all of this was a huge misunderstanding.

Ignis looked around and watched some people decorating the tables, carrying around vases filled with flowers and others decorating the windows and the stairs to the throne with flowers. That's where he found Gladio, talking to one of the Kingsglaive and he waited until their conversation was over before he made his way towards his boyfriend.

But Gladio didn't notice Ignis.

No.

His attention was given to someone else, a girl to be specific, with beautiful brown hair and a cute smile, that was holding a bunch of flowers in her arms. Ignis stood still and couldn't stop staring at his boyfriend, at his smile, his expression turning flirty and his charms flying right at her.

Gladio flirted without having any sort of intention but simply because he was that sort of person. He flirted with Ignis every day with the difference that he got the kisses he asked for and the cuddles he demanded with puppy eyes.

Now though, it was not his mind creating this picture and it was not his thoughts whispering to him. Gladio was there flirting with a girl and they looked good together. And somehow it made sense, it looked perfect. Gladio was the shield, he needed a heir to start a family in order to protect the next King. Someone like Gladio probably wanted to have a family, to have kids.

He knew the concept of family, but Ignis did not and Ignis couldn't give Gladio all of that.

The shock and pain Ignis felt was uncontrollable. It felt like a knife was cutting him apart from the inside and his eyes started to burn and even breathing hurt.

He turned around and ran, taking the shortest way back to his apartment before a tear could spill, before a whimper or scream could leave his lips. But no matter how hard he tried to control his shaking muscles and his hot tears from falling, he failed. Sobbing he continued to run, reaching his apartment minutes later.

With trembling hands he took off his glasses and put them on the table, but he completely missed it, effectively throwing them on the ground. He freed his neck from his tie, reached out for the pillow on the couch before he climbed on it just to make himself small, as the strength left him and he cried into the pillow that still smelled like Gladio.

Why wasn't he born a girl?

He didn't know how long he cried but he waited for the pain to disappear and become nothing. He begged his tears to stop falling and for his body and mind to stop hurting him. But he had no control over all the painful feelings.

But life or some other greater power, thought he hadn't suffered enough already. His ears heard his front door being opened and the familiar steps he hadn't heard entering his apartment for the past days, rushed towards him.

“Ignis! Hey, what happened?”

Ignis heard Gladio and he could feel him close, even though he wasn't touching Ignis.

“Please... leave,” Ignis said, burying his face deeper into the pillow to hide his ungraceful state. He was always so thoughtful and organized, but he had forgotten to take the key back from Gladio.

“No. I won't do as you say anymore because it obviously isn't helping. Neither me nor you,” Gladio sounded upset and worried at the same time but Ignis didn't want to have his pity nor did he want to be dumped right now.

He needed time to calm down, wash his face and attend the ball as Noctis' future adviser.

“Ignis, talk to me. I can't stand seeing you feeling so terrible,” Gladio spoke. His voice was closer and Ignis was sure he was kneeling next to him.

“I'm fine,” he tried but heard Gladio huff.

“Yeah, you're fine. Tell that to your snot and tears covered pillow.”

That sarcasm coming from Gladio hit a spot inside of Ignis so he became upset himself. If Gladio knew that he was not fine and if Gladio could read him so well, then why did he reject Ignis? Why did he pretend like nothing happened and went off flirting with whoever, even though he said he would never do that again? Ignis looked up, hoping his face wasn't as bad of a mess as he felt and looked at Gladio, hurt and angry at the same time.

He noticed the change in Gladio's face when he saw Ignis messed up face, covered in tears and red from the crying and from the pillow. There was pain and concern on Gladio’s face and his next words made Ignis upset.

“Can we talk now?”

“Why should we? It's pointless, isn't it? You're just going to reject me again and flirt with whoever comes to your liking,” Ignis said the words in a rather harsh way, though it felt weird coming from him.

“Wha...” Gladio blinked confused and Ignis huffed, ready to throw the pillow at him. “What?”

“I'm not stupid, Gladiolus. If you want to break up just say so!” Ignis became louder and it even shocked him. He never became loud, not towards anyone.

Gladio kept on blinking until he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

“You rejected me and you were flirting, just moments ago, with that girl arranging the flowers for the ball!”

“Forget that girl! Gods, Ignis. When did I reject you?” Gladio groaned.

Ignis suddenly felt calmer and wondered if he really had read everything wrong and if the pain and fear made him see and believe things that weren't even true in the first place. Sure, he was aware of the fact that he had his difficulties when it came to socializing and feelings, but he had improved so much since he was together with Gladio. Being wrong was still a concept he wasn't familiar with and hard to accept.

“When I... when I wanted to... suck you. You stopped me...as if... as if you didn't want me,” Ignis said, feeling embarrassed and exposed while he remembered that night. He never forgot how pained Gladio looked, as if he truly didn't like what Ignis was doing. “And then I saw you... smiling and flirting as if everything was alright. As if...” His tears returned and Ignis hid his eyes with his shaking hand. “I get it. I'm a guy and I can't give you and make you feel the same things a girl can.”

Ignis didn't want to make a sound, no sob, no sniff, but he couldn't control his body's reaction and he couldn't push those feelings aside. It hurt so bad and having Gladio there, the person he loved so much, was making everything worse for him.

“Ignis. I don't want to break up.”

“Don't lie,” he whispered.

“I'm not! Ignis, please, look at me,” Gladio begged and it was the honesty in his voice that made Ignis do as he said. But Gladio didn't look angry. His face showed concern and some sort of new determination Ignis hadn't seen before. He wiped at his eyes to gain a clearer view, ready to listen.

“I'm sorry if it came across as if I was rejecting you. That wasn't my intention. I stopped you because you looked like you were forcing yourself.”

“What?” Ignis breathed.

“Yeah. I couldn't handle it and I thought you were forcing yourself which I don't want you to do, ever. I want us both to feel comfortable in whatever we do and I don't care if you're a girl or a guy...I just want to be with you for the person you are and no one else.”

New tears blurred his vision but they were not because he was hurt or sad. It was because he felt relieved and stupid at the same time. Gladio had asked him to trust him and Ignis promised he would, just like Gladio did in return. Perhaps it had less to do with how much he trusted Gladio but more about the fear he had inside him since he was a little kid and the scars his parents left on the day they rejected him. He knew that his soul was scarred but he had no idea how deep and traumatic it actually was. But, evidently, it had to be bigger than he thought.

His eyes looked back to Gladio when he realized his own mistakes but he still didn't know what to say, as he often happened when it came to his boyfriend, the only person who could make him speechless in good and bad ways.

“You're so smart, Ignis. Didn't they teach you to talk about whatever issue? Especially to your boyfriend?” Gladio joked, trying to make Ignis laugh and lighten the mood, while he reached out slowly, as if he wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch Ignis. So Ignis did not flinch nor jump and instead reached out for Gladio's hand to feel his skin, feel his warm and soft hands on his cheek and another sob escaped.

He had been missing Gladio's warmth so bad that the first touch hurt. But it wasn't the touch that hurt him, it was as if Gladio's hand healed the invisible wounds he had, in and outside, the closer he got, and Ignis let him climb on the couch and sunk into those strong arms, until the pain disappeared and his tears stopped.

“Shit... I was really scared during the past days,” Gladio admitted and Ignis leaned back, kneeling between Gladio's legs so he could see his face because his voice sounded rough. He had heard it only once and he remembered that day very clearly. Today, though, Gladio did actually cry, even though he looked far better than Ignis probably did.

“I apologize,” Ignis said as he used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe Gladio's tears away.

“Yeah, I'm sorry too. I should have done it in a different way and explained myself... I guess.”

“I should have asked...” Ignis admitted and closed his eyes when Gladio reached out to clean his face with his own sleeves. “But I... I guess the fear of being rejected by someone I care about is deeper than I was aware of.”

“I would never reject you, Ignis. I didn't intend to do that but I understand that it might have come across as if I did. But, like I said, you looked like you were forcing yourself and I couldn't stand that,” Gladio explained again.

“I wasn't though. I... I really wanted to but it was... my first time so, perhaps, my expression might have been a bit misleading.”

“You looked like you were going to throw up,” Gladio recalled and the frown from that night returned.

“I was... trying. I tried really hard to... satisfy you and... bring my feelings across. And I... I liked it,” he whispered the last words and his face turned red. Not because he had cried for hours, but because he felt shy admitting that. Though, when he saw Gladio's face softening and his smile returning, he finally relaxed.

“Liking it wasn't the problem. You know so many words, Ignis. You can talk down the most powerful politics if you want to. But you want to blow me in order to express your feelings? Who does that?” Gladio asked, relieved and amused at the same time.

“You should feel honored because you're the only one I'd do that for,” Ignis became witty when he saw Gladio's growing grin and his words made the shield laugh. He smiled when he felt Gladio's arms sliding back around his body to pull him closer, until his face was pressed against Ignis chest. They both said nothing as Ignis held Gladio in his arms and let his fingers run through his long hair on the top, down to the short part to his neck. He had missed this feelings so much: Gladio's soft hair, his arms that could wrap around his whole frame and guard him in a way no one else ever could nor ever did.

He had missed this, what he and Gladio had, so much.

“We're okay, right?” Ignis eventually asked.

“Yeah. But we need to talk more, alright? I want to know what was and is going through your mind. Every little thing,” Gladio told him when he pulled back to look up into Ignis eyes. “Because you said something about things a girl can only give me and I don't want to have any sort of misunderstanding between us again.”

Ignis nodded and looked at his watch to know how much time was left before they both needed to get ready. Though, before he could say a word, Gladio had his hand on the back of his head and brought their faces close to, finally, share a kiss. Ignis mind stopped producing any thoughts when he felt Gladio's lips on his and it felt good, so good, that he couldn't believe it had only been days since the last time they had kissed. Though it was short and gentle, it was everything Ignis needed to melt and to believe everything Gladio told him.

When their kiss ended, Gladio didn't lean back but let his fingers run soothing circles on the back of Ignis head, as their foreheads touched and both breathed together. Ignis fingers rested where Gladio's neck and shoulders met to feel more of his skin, his warmth and heal more.

“Let's go to the ball together,” Gladio whispered.

Ignis needed some time to find a clear thought before he asked: “You mean as a couple?”

“Yeah, but secretly of course. And after the ball, I'd like to meet here with you... if that's okay.”

Ignis could hear the hesitation in Gladio's words and it pulled at his heart in a painful way. He must have scared Gladio in the same way his boyfriend had scared him. Perhaps Ignis was what Gladio always said they should be: Young and stupid – but on an entire different level.

“I want that too,” Ignis said and watched Gladio smile, open, warm and with a happiness he only ever showed when they weretogether.

“Great. Then let's get ready. I'll wait for you at the entrance.”

They met, as they promised, at the entrance to the throne, and though their eyes said everything – how relieved and happy they were that their misunderstanding found an end – their faces and posure didn't tell anything. As the friends they were, too, they walked to the King and his son. Behind them stood Clarus and Ignis' uncle at their rightful place.

Everyone was dressed accordingly.

Noctis in his flawless suit – a thought that occupied Ignis’ mind after Gladio left and he started to worry about the Prince. He took his place behind Noctis, as Gladio did, and they waited till every guest was greeted by the King and his son – sometimes Noctis looked back as if to ask Ignis if he did good and Ignis nodded, feeling proud of his Prince.

After dinner and the usual political talk, Ignis sat together with Gladio, both watching Noctis from the distance as he talked to people his age, sons and daughters of politics from all over the world.

Any other ball, Ignis still stood close to Noctis and gave him advice or answered questions for him when he talked to someone. This year he decided to hold back and let his Prince grow, even though it wasn't easy. But he had the perfect distraction right next to him. It wasn't the first time Ignis saw Gladio in his crownsguard uniform, he had seen him in it countless of times. Though, every time he saw him dressed like that, Ignis couldn't help but watch him, even stare occasionally when no one else was watching, and admire the view. It was his weakness seeing Gladio dressed like that but he wasn't ready to share this secret with his boyfriend – and feed his ego.

Perhaps another day.

“Noctis' doing good, huh?” Gladio spoke and when he turned his head to look at Ignis, he almost jumped because, yes, he had been staring.

“He is indeed. He certainly has matured,” Ignis agreed and watched Gladio's smile which was... telling something. All he could do was lean his head to the side and follow Gladio's eyes when they were looking down. There Ignis saw it, Gladio's open palm resting on his thigh and his fingers beckoning. That was so typical of his boyfriend, who always tested the limits set by people or life itself, and Ignis couldn't do much but smile and reach out for his hand, certain that no one would see them and trusting that Gladio had made sure it was safe.

Ignis was overwhelmed by the flood of emotions and the thrill he felt as they continued holding hands under the table while watching their Prince, because it made no sense to him why something simple as hand holding could cause all these feelings.

But he learned to no longer question but feel, and that was what he did while never neglecting his duty and oath.

 

* * *

 

They left the ball together with Noctis in the middle of the night. Or rather it was Gladio who carried Noctis to his room, since the Prince had a special talent to fall asleep at any place. Ignis complained about how Noctis needed to at least change into his pajamas before they would let him sleep and Gladio – who enjoyed this a bit too much – managed to wake him up. Ignis helped a grumpy Noctis get dressed and Gladio couldn't hold back and comment about how a 15 year old couldn't dress himself.

“Sh'up,” was the only thing Noctis managed to throw at his shield before he fell back asleep and Ignis tucked him into his bed.

“Mama Ignis, huh?” Gladio grinned when they left the room and walked towards Ignis’ apartment.

“Then you're the father when the King's not around?”

Gladio laughed and Ignis unlocked the door to his apartment when he heard him saying: “I guess. But I don't feel ready to have kids myself.”

The tension Ignis felt during the past days returned and he stopped for a second before he moved onward and put his keys on the coffee-table in the living room. His mind was alreadytaking the first steps into the thoughts he had been fighting against but it was Gladio's hand on his shoulder that helped Ignis to break the line of thoughts.

“You're making that face again. Like you're in some sort of nightmare in your head,” Gladio spoke and Ignis sighed. Right, they wanted to talk and he promised he would talk and tell his boyfriend what was going through his mind. Even though he didn't want to, because his thoughts seemed rather silly, especially after Gladio explained that he did not reject him but thought he was taking care of Ignis – also something Ignis wasn't used to yet.

“I know now that you did not reject me. However, during the past days, I've been having all these thoughts about what it means to be in a relationship with a guy... and what is part of your duty as well. You need a heir, right? For the next King as it's tradition in your family?,” Ignis formed the last sentence into a question even though he already knew the answer. So he kept on speaking. “And I can't give you that. It's biologically impossible for you or me to do that and I didn't know if you ever want to be a father but it wouldn't surprise me if you would. You know the concept of ~~a~~ family, I don't. So I thought you would be better off with a girl by your side.”

He silently watched and the surprise that spread across Gladio’s face, as if Gladio had never thought about these things as well. Perhaps he didn't because he was still young and, as he said, not ready for kids. Or it had a whole different reason and Ignis waited for him to say something, taking comfort from the hand on his shoulder before the other one rested on his other shoulder.

“Do I make you happy?” Gladio asked and now it was Ignis turn to blink surprised but he nodded, still. “And you make me happy. Isn't that what being in a relationship is about? Why would I leave you for something like that. It is true, a heir would be great. But it doesn't have to be me. I still have a sister and her offspring can become the next shield too.”

Ignis nodded and felt Gladio's hands taking his own and watched him placing a kiss on the back of them.

“I'm not neglecting my duty. I know my Place. But I also want to make myself happy and I'm free to do so. But someone as selfless as you are, probably has a hard time understanding that, huh?”

“Well, it certainly speaks against a part of who I am. But I do understand,” Ignis said and thought about how selfish he actually was, how he wanted to have Gladio all to himself.

His body, heart and soul.

His whole being.

Gladio smiled and took a step closer to Ignis, still holding his hands and placing them on his chest when he spoke.

“I hope so, because I really don't care about any of those things. I really just want you and nothing and no one else, Ignis. I don't care about a heir or what anyone says. I put my duty first, as we promised, but after that, there are all the people who have a place in my heart and you are one of those.”

Ignis blushed and he wanted to say the words he had been thinking, dreaming about and practicing in the emptiness of his bedroom. His tongue though did not move, his lips remained sealed but his head felt so heavy that he couldn't help himself but lean against Gladio, as if his body was thirsty after not having the shield close for several days. Even during the ball he wondered if they had stood too close, if their smiles had been too obvious or if their looks gave away their secret.

He had envied the people dancing during the beautiful orchestral music, he had envied the people who could freely hold hands and share kisses on the cheek without rising any sort of attention. It was the first time that he had wanted to be one of those people and show the world that Gladio decided to be with him. But he wasn't ready, not yet. For now this was all he could handle and he felt grateful that Gladio understood.

“Hey, remember when I told you I wanted to dance with you?” Gladio asked.

Ignis leaned back to see Gladio's expression and he was met by a warm smile.

“I do.”

Then Gladio grinned and he showed Ignis his phone with a proud shine in his eyes, as if he had came up with the best idea ever.

“That's why I wanted to meet you here tonight,” he started to explain and placed his phone on the coffee-table and Ignis noticed that Gladio had his music player open. “Would you like to dance with me?”

“Here?” Ignis asked while looking around as if he was expecting for his own apartment to change or for something else to happen.

“Well, I wanted to ask you during the ball but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. So I waited till we got back here.”

His heart was hammering and he wondered if Gladio knew about his thoughts and the envy he felt during the ball. Though he was certain that was impossible, he couldn't help but smile when Gladio bowed down, gracefully as he could, and held out his hand towards Ignis, not even trying to grin less.

How could he say no? That option didn't exist so he took Gladio's hand and smiled himself when he heard the little noise of success Gladio made after he started the player on his phone and gently pulled Ignis closer against his body.

The song started and it was a romantic one, obviously, which totally fit his boyfriend's taste, considering what his favorite TV show was and what sort of books he basically swallowed. Gladio only grinned when Ignis gave him that look as if to say 'Really, Gladio?' but then the words sunk into his ears and they started to move slowly, Ignis letting Gladio take the lead.

It was a slow rhythm at the beginning, words of dreams and wishes and love sung and telling all the things Ignis felt, and Gladio perhaps did too. No, he was sure Gladio felt the same way he did. That he, too, wanted to take care of Ignis and that he, too, got hurt, felt loved, and became angry about the same stupid and important things that happened between them. It was like Ignis could finally see it all in Gladio's eyes, which never left his own as they moved together, as if they never did anything else in their life.

He smiled into the kiss when Gladio leaned closer after the sweet words were sung again but soon kissed the shield back, wishing and wanting more kisses to make up for the past days. He wanted more and more until he couldn't breath or think, but Gladio apparently had something else in his mind.

Ignis opened his eyes and noticed Gladio's grin returning and the moment vanished as the music became a bit faster and Gladio's steps too. At first Ignis got caught by surprise but he was a good dancer and so was his boyfriend and even though they almost stumbled, it got shaken off by their laughter before they kept on dancing to the now faster rhythm, both still smiling.

The fast rhythm ended and the softness of the song returned once again. Gladio, who certainly knew that song, had Ignis back flush against him, both arms around his middle and Ignis had no choice but to wrap his arms around Gladio's neck, closing his eyes when their foreheads touched – as they did so many times – and Gladio whispered the words of the song with his low voice, making Ignis feel dizzy and his feelings grow more and more.

The song found its end and Ignis didn't move away when they stopped swinging and he didn't open his eyes either. His hands wandered down to Gladio's shoulders, feeling how strong they were and remembering how much they could carry. He felt Gladio standing still with him, his arms staying gently around Ignis body, making him feel more drunk than he already was.

His heart began to beat faster, or maybe Ignis only now became aware of how fast it was beating, and his mouth moved but no word came out.

He wanted to say it, everything he felt and everything that Gladio meant to him. He wanted to say it, with those 3 words and make Gladio understand, but no matter how much he tried, his mouth didn't listen and his body tried to contain all these feelings inside. Though, it was overflowing, almost strangling Ignis in such a painful way that he had no idea if he made any noises or if his body gave something away of the struggles he was enduring inside.

“Are you alright?” he heard Gladio asking and eventually came to his senses.

His mouth was dry, eyes still closed and his breathing too quick, which explained to Ignis why the shield asked him that.

And he thought, yes, he was great. Everything was alright and Ignis swallowed, trying to wet his mouth with the little saliva that was left as he held Gladio's shoulders a bit tighter and slowly nodded, his nose nuzzling against Gladio's cheek while doing so.

Words were his weapon, his way to protect and support the crown and they were also important for this moment. For the person who somehow found a way into his heart and stayed there as if it was made for him.

As if they were made for each other.

Finally clarity arrived and Ignis wondered how he was still standing and not losing consciousness when he said:

“I love you.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Gosh, it was so hard to write this chapter I don't even know why but I guess, since I'm insanely busy with work and exhausted during the evening, my brain simply can't work properly right now. But I do my best to not keep you guys waiting for the next chapter (since the ending is a mean cliffhanger I guess). And thank you again for sharing your thoughts and leaving Kudos and comments. Without your support I probably wouldn't have found the motivation to finish this chapter during the week! Hope to hear from you guys!


	13. Wishes

Technically Ignis knew that the silence which followed after he said those words, was mere seconds long. But it felt so much longer and all he could do was wait and feel his blood humming in his ears and his heart trying to jump out of his chest while Gladio was still holding him, still breathing against his face.

When Ignis finally heard his voice it was like he woke up from a deep slumber and he had to open his eyes and drown in Gladio's shining, warm and soft - but in a new way - ones.

_He's looking at me_ _with love_ , he thought, and he had never been more certain about something in his life.

“You're always prepared, huh? Always one step ahead, as an adviser should be.”

Ignis didn't respond but, waiting a bit longer, waiting for the words Gladio’s smile and eyes had already said.

“But you're my boyfriend, my partner... and I love you too.” Gladio finished.

He sighed and closed his eyes once more before his lips stretched into the widest and sweetest smile he had ever shown or felt and when he heard Gladio giggle and felt his arms lifting Ignis from the ground, his own arms wrapped around Gladio's neck tighter, because he never wanted to let go.

“I've planned this, you know? Dancing with you, confessing my feelings, but I was worried it might freak you out. So... I'm happy that you said it first.” Gladio confessed.

Insecurities were usually his burden and Ignis had tons of them since they became a couple, but he knew that Gladio wasn't having less. He was better at hiding them and better at voicing his feelings, but it was still calming to hear about his boyfriend's insecurities and that they were both trying their best.

“I wanted to tell you what you mean to me for so long. But to love someone is... love has never been a part of my life and saying it is like... making myself the most vulnerable I've ever been.”

Ignis wanted to explain more so Gladio would understand precisely what Ignis couldn't formulate in a satisfactory way.

“I'm not sure if my words explain it well enough.”

“Mmh, I understand Ignis. Your pain, I've seen it, and I've been through it myself,” Gladio spoke and let Ignis back down, holding his face as he said: “And the love... I can feel it whenever we're together. It's something we both feel and can't explain and that's alright.”

“You always talk like you know what you're saying,” Ignis sighed and placed his hands on Gladio's.

“Haha. You're my first, Iggy, but I've consumed tons of romance novels. Guess they're helping.”

He wanted to remind Gladio that his name was not Iggy but Ignis and he wanted to make a remark about the unhealthy amount of ridiculous romance novels his boyfriend read. But he didn't because he loved all of that too, and he embraced it because it was everything he wanted.

“What? Not going to call me out, Iggy?”

“Not today, no.”

“You must really love me then, huh? Can you say it again?” Gladio teased but his face remained the happiest and softest Ignis had ever seen - Ignis' too. Tonight he would grant Gladio every wish and, perhaps, every other day as well.

“I love you,” he whispered and heard Gladio breathing in while his face came closer and he gently pulled Ignis into a deep kiss.

They had kissed countless times and every single kiss was always filled with a thrilling and warm feeling. Sweet or short, dirty or innocent, it didn't matter because it caused the same flood of emotions. But this time Ignis could clearly feel that this kiss was different, purer, more meaningful than any other kiss before. It was almost like this kiss gave their confession more verity.

Gladio broke the kiss gently, taking Ignis hands to kiss his fingers. Ignis couldn't do much but watch him and wait for his mind to work again.

“But don't expect from me to say it every second we're together.”

Gladio chuckled when he heard the words and said, low and amused: “No. That wouldn't be something you'd do. But it's something I'd do.”

A new blush spread over his cheeks and Ignis couldn't stop the giggle because, yes, Gladio would definitely say 'I love you' whenever he could and it wouldn't be less true or meaningful. He was that sort of person, making sure people knew how he felt about them and that they were loved and appreciated.

“So... am I, the person you love, allowed to lay by your side tonight?”

Ignis nodded happily but announced that he was in need of a shower and Gladio agreed to his idea – but pouted when Ignis said they wouldn't shower together. He had seen Gladio half naked, seen his penis and there was really no reason to say no, but he wanted to have some time for himself when Gladio took his shower. So Ignis went first and when it was Gladio's turn, Ignis hurried into his bedroom to open the nightstand and swallow down his nervousness.

There was a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube, which he had bought shortly after their first sexual encounter. It wasn't like Ignis expected for more to happen but he liked to be prepared just in case they decided to go further. He also prepared fresh towels, changed the sheets and then waited for his boyfriend, sitting on his bed in his pajamas.

Somehow Ignis knew it would happen tonight, that he would have his first time with the person he loved and he couldn't ask for more. He didn't want it to be anyone but Gladio and the thought made him smile, even though he was still blushing furiously when he thought about what could possibly happen tonight.

His hand rested above his heart, feeling its fast beating and listening to his blood, running through his body.

Then Gladio returned and he looked up, smiling when Gladio beamed at him, also dressed in a simply t-shirt and his boxers, a sight Ignis knew by now but it still made his mouth water seeing Gladio's strong arms and legs. Not that he was proud of his reaction because it felt so primitive, but he couldn't do much against it. Also, Gladio was a wandering heater and he didn't need many clothes to stay warm.

“Hey there, my love,” Gladio grinned when he approached Ignis and leaned down to kiss him quickly.

“You definitely read too much romantic literature,” Ignis commented but couldn't deny what that pet name did to him. He wondered if he could ever find the courage to say it himself because the thought alone blocked every word he knew from coming out of his mouth.

“So cold. Let me warm you up,” Gladio suggested when he climbed on the bed and opened his arms for Ignis. There was no hesitation at all when Ignis turned around and saw his boyfriend lying on his rightful place, with his handsome face smiling with honest happiness. Ignis closed his eyes as they lay together and held each other as they usually did. Gladio liked to call it 'recharging' and Ignis finally understood what it meant. It truly felt like, by holding him, he was getting back the strength that had left him since their misunderstanding.

They rested like that for a long time and Ignis didn't know if it was him or Gladio who moved first, but soon their lips were connected again and Ignis was half on top of his boyfriend, melting into it. His hand rested on Gladio's cheek, feeling his stubble with his thumb and humming into the kiss when Gladio's warm large hand sunk into his hair, holding his head gently. Shiver after shiver ran down his spine when their kiss didn't break and their hands gently ran those familiar patterns, as if to re-feel it all because they hadn't for days.

Slowly he was starting to feel drunk again, but before his mind said goodbye for the rest of the night, Ignis pulled back slowly, keeping his hand on Gladio's face and gently stroking his cheek, while they simply looked at each other. His boyfriend smiled, so warm and calm, and his hand felt good, reassuring, as it ran up and down his back.

Ignis loved him, he loved him so much, and he wanted to connect with Gladio in a way that he never cared for and never understood. Now he did and, though it was written all over his face how he was struggling with words, Ignis had to try.

“I want to...” Ignis began to say but blushed like the virgin he was before he could say it out loud. He breathed for a moment before he finally spoke the words with his voice a bit higher than usual. “I want to have sex with you, Gladio.”

Ignis watched Gladio's soft expression change into a concerned one but still with a smile on his lips, as if he was trying to be understanding.

“Your face tells me otherwise,” Gladio said.

“Well... I'm... I'm simply shy and you know that. And... you're the only one who... who makes me lose control over myself and who... who I want.”

Gladio's face changed a bit into a proud one but that wasn't everything Ignis wanted to say. Besides his shyness and his wish for more, he also ached for something else and he finally understood how Gladio felt just some weeks ago.

“But I also want you to trust me, Gladio, when I say I'm fine and want certain things. My facial expression might be misleading, but my words are not.”

Gladio's smile disappeared as if he remembered the same moment that was running through Ignis’ mind, the one when Gladio asked for Ignis to trust him.

“I trust you,” Gladio whispered and his whole body softened under Ignis, before he sat up, taking Ignis with him so he was sitting half on his lap, to press a kiss on Ignis’ forehead after he stroke his bangs off there. “I'm sorry I didn't.”

“I know you trust me. But you also know me and that I can push myself to my limits for someone else. So... I guess you were trying to be understanding and take care of me while trying to make me feel comfortable.”

“You bet I am,” Gladio smiled and his strong arms wrapped around Ignis’ whole frame so easily, as if they were made for him to be held. “You're the person I love, Iggy. Your well being is my priority, too.”

Gladio rested his chin on Ignis shoulder, after he pressed a kiss against his neck and held him tight and safe, not letting go even for a second.

Ignis blushed even more as he leaned his head against Gladio's, and he had to close his eyes after Gladio's words sunk into his ears, causing a rush of feelings from the depths of his heart to the smallest corners of his being.

If this was what it felt like to be loved, Ignis hoped he would find a way to keep this love forever.

He pressed a kiss against Gladio's cheek and watched him grin when he opened his eyes. Ignis rarely initiated anything, but Gladio never joked about it and he never complained about it either. Tonight, though, Ignis was more than ready to take the initiative and take their relationship to a new level, a more vulnerable, higher and deeper one. He was ready to give his whole self to the shield of the Prince.

“I've bought some things for...the occasion,” Ignis started.

“Things? What things?” Gladio asked and the surprise was honest.

Ignis climbed off his lap and opened the drawer of his nightstand to take out, with shaking hands, the condoms and the bottle of lube. He held them in his hands, staring at them as if he didn't know what they were good for. There was no doubt in his mind, which caused Ignis to hesitate. It was the thought of what they would do with those things. Things he never cared about and yet, here he was, deeply in love with a man Ignis thought could never be his.

“Did you order that online?” Gladio asked when his hands held Ignis' to stop them from shaking.

“Huh? I... I did?” Ignis said confused. “Does it matter?”

“No,” Gladio chuckled gently. “I'm just asking because it's hard to imagine you'd buy that in a store where someone might recognize you. I'm sure this is rather embarrassing for you.”

Ignis nodded and his blush deepened again.

“It would have been for me too,” Gladio confessed and blushed himself. “Actually... I bought some myself after making a lot of research on how to have sex with a guy. And then I had to find a good hiding spot in my room.”

“You... made research?” Ignis asked and watched his boyfriend nod slowly as he pulled Ignis back against him, gently.

“Of course. I don't want to hurt us and I get it that sex between two guys is different than with a woman.”

Ignis sighed and then smiled, his nerves calming down slowly and his body relaxing, as if it was trying to tell him that he was ready.

“Though the first time always hurts, right? At least that's what I've read,” Gladio spoke, his hands running up and down Ignis’ back.

“I don't mind the pain. I... all I want is to... for us to get closer,” Ignis admitted, feeling his heartbeat quicken. “And I... I'd like to be on the receiving end... if you don't mind.”

“Of course I don't mind. I don't care how we do it as long as we both feel comfortable,” Gladio reassured after his lips kissed Ignis’ cheek. Ignis had no idea how he got so lucky after everything that happened in his life, but he wouldn't question it anymore. He nodded slowly and held his boyfriend's face gently so they could kiss and follow their feelings.

As their lips remained connected, moving in their unique way and making the other shiver, gaps and smile happily, their hands explored the other, tugging at the hem of their clothes, touching the little bit of free skin. Parts they both hadn't touched before but were now burning by only the tip of a finger. Their kiss only broke so Ignis could take off Gladio's top and the view in front of him - fine defined muscles, broad chest he rested on so many nights - blocked out every thought.

His shaking hand reached out to touch what he had seen so many times, feeling the soft skin and the hard muscle, feeling the warmth and strength, as if his fingers were sucking it all in. It wasn't new, Gladio had no issues with walking around shirtless, but it was new to feel and it was new because the reason why Gladio sat shirtless in front of him was different.

“Like what you see?” Gladio teased and Ignis swallowed but nodded still. Oh Gods, he did like what he saw.

“You're too cute for your own good,” Gladio whispered and his hands tugged at the hem of Ignis’ top, slowly taking it off. He had been certain to feel ashamed or at least precarious about his own rather smaller frame. But he did not because he didn't have to be like Gladio and Gladio didn't want that either. Ignis was fine just the way he was, smaller, less muscular, a bit more boyish still, but gradually becoming an adult with each passing day.

However, he still trembled and turned red to the top of his ears down to his chest when he was half naked in front of his boyfriend. The gasp falling from his lips when Gladio's hands touched his skin there for the first time, was nothing he could stop. Ignis let it happen and all his blood ran south.

“You're so beautiful, Ignis,” Gladio whispered against his skin leaving kiss after kiss, as one hand wandered down to squeeze his backside and bring their fronts together. The friction through the thin fabric of their pants caused both of them to moan and for Ignis to hold his boyfriend when he started licking on his nipples.

Never in his life had Ignis felt more aroused than in this moment and he was scared that his mind would go blank before they even got to the part he wanted to. Or that he would cum way too soon.

“Gladio,” he gasped as a warning and sighed when the shield stopped licking his chest and moved his hands to Ignis’ front, pulling at his pants. He was so hard that it hurt and, after completely undressing, Ignis became even harder when he saw Gladio's thick cock. His eyes moved away from Gladio's member and back up to see his face and notice his fast breathing, his own burning face accompanied by a smile. It was a conversation that didn't need words but both understood, and Ignis reached out for the lube while Gladio took one of the towels from the nightstand. He spread it out under them and climbed back on the bed to sit on it and open his arms for Ignis to climb back on his lap.

“I'll be careful,” he said low and aroused while Ignis watched him pour the lube on his fingers, wondering if his fingers could even fit there. “If it hurts tell me.”

Ignis nodded and wrapped both arms around Gladio's shoulders and watched his lubed hand disappear between his legs. He didn't notice how he stopped breathing and waited to feel slick fingers touching the place no one, not even he himself, had touched before.

Then, when it happened, he moaned and pressed his forehead against Gladio's, not caring if anyone could hear him or not. Gladio wasn't even inside him yet, he just spread the lube over Ignis hole, making sure there was enough by adding more while his other hand rested on the small of Ignis’ back, guiding and holding him when his body slipped out of his control.

“I'm going in, okay?”

All Ignis could do was nod as he moved his hips with Gladio's hand, aching, wanting to feel him there, as if he knew it would be the best feeling ever.

And it was, but not at first.

“Oh fuck!” Ignis hissed when he felt the stretch, the intrusion and how the weird feeling became something slowly pleasant, arousing, addicting. It was something he had known since he realized he liked men.

“How does it feel?” Gladio asked, concern clear in his voice and eyes searching Ignis’ face for any sign of discomfort.

“It's... good. Weird at first but then... good,” Ignis answered, knowing his face was probably misleading again but Gladio promised to trust him and so he did by moving his finger in and out slowly.

Ignis was lost between feeling, moaning and cursing, all to Gladio's amusement but his own growing arousal and when he added more lube and added a second finger, Ignis froze for a second to get used to the stretch and burn. Gladio did his best to calm Ignis down, saying soothing words and touching him lovingly, waiting for Ignis to move on his own when he'd got used to the feeling. They both knew Ignis needed the stretching before he could take Gladio inside his body.

Eventually the pain disappeared and the pleasure returned, causing Ignis to throw his head back as he fucked himself on Gladio's fingers, holding his shoulders stronger. He was lost in a deep bliss and no shame crossed his mind as he enjoyed the feeling more and more.

“Shit... Ignis,” he heard Gladio moan against his neck, felt his lips, his teeth on his skin but he wanted more and he blamed Gladio's dirty mouth for that.

Greedily he leaned forward, meeting Gladio in a deep kiss and swallowing his moans and words, which spurted him on even more. Two fingers eventually became a sweet feeling and he reached behind himself to add one of his own, surprising himself and Gladio alike.

“Hey, slow down. You could get seriously hurt,” Gladio spoke and it wasn't about not trusting Ignis. It was his mind leaving the fog Ignis got lost in himself, and being aware of the situation. With dark eyes Ignis blinked and focused on the feeling inside his ass, no longer moving his hips but just his finger to make sure everything was alright.

“I'm fine. My... finger is smaller than yours and... the stretch is bearable,” Ignis reassured him, his voice rough from all the moaning.

“What? You like the pain?” Gladio asked jokingly and the adviser watched his face, the smile and the sweat that was running down his temple. His eyes kept on wandering, seeing Gladio's cock, rock hard and red, sure it must hurt him.

“I... I love you and I want you... inside me, that's why.”

He waited for Gladio to say or do something, and though he understood how worried he was and that he wanted this moment to be as painless as possible, Gladio still nodded and showed the trust he gave Ignis.

“Okay, then lay down.”

Ignis whined when the fingers inside him left him empty, still he climbed off Gladio's lap and lay down on his back, knowing what Gladio had in mind because this position seemed to be the most comfortable one for the first time. His green eyes followed Gladio's hands that reached for the lube again to use three fingers this time and stretch Ignis a bit more, while his other hand held him up as he hovered over Ignis and leaned down to kiss him through the knew burn, until it became pleasure once more.

“Can you hand me that pillow?” Gladio pointed behind Ignis after a while of kissing and pumping his fingers in and out of him. The adviser did as he was told and lifted his hips so Gladio could place the pillow there to give Ignis more comfort. He kept on watching while his boyfriend reached out for the package of condoms to get one out, his own large hands shaking and his expression changing into a nervous one too. Ignis watched him for some seconds, as if only now realizing that Gladio was a human himself and not some God-like figure he probably saw in him most of the time.

“Gladio?” Ignis said his name calmly, cutting through the sound of their breathing.

The shield looked up, meeting Ignis’ eyes and watching him carefully as he held himself up on his elbows. He was fully naked, fully erected and in a haze of lust and love, and it was that love which became stronger than the needs of his body and the powers of lust.

“We don't have to do this if you don't feel ready,” Ignis said because that was how he read Gladio's hesitation. “You look like... you're not sure-”

“It's not that,” Gladio spoke and his smile returned as he moved to hover over Ignis again and kiss him gently on the lips. “I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I'm just... happy that I get to do this with the person I love but at the same time I'm nervous and scared I might hurt you because I'm not exactly small, you know?”

Ignis listened, watched him with big green eyes before he looked back down between their bodies and understood Gladio's concern. He wanted to say something, soothing words to take away Gladio's worries, but he would be lying if he said things like 'It won't hurt'. He knew it would, and a lot, but he was ready and he was certain his body would get used to it, so much that he would never ever want anyone else inside him but Gladio.

So he lifted his hand and brought Gladio back down to a kiss, knowing exactly how to kiss him to calm him down and communicate that he was ready and he was fine. It worked and with one last kiss against the corner of Ignis’ mouth, Gladio moved back between his legs and rested them on his thighs while opening the condom and rolling it down his cock. Ignis licked his lips unwittingly as Gladio poured a generous amount of lube on his cock, smearing it all over himself and some more around Ignis’ stretched hole, before he took his position and let his dick slide back and forth Ignis’ crack.

He was teasing, Ignis knew, but he was also making Ignis get used to this new feeling, this view of Gladio being above him and moving his hips as if he was truly thrusting inside him. It was a view that previously would have made him scream or blush and run away because of how embarrassed he felt. Tonight it was not, and all Ignis could do was move with Gladio as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

He loved him, he loved him so much it hurt to not be connected yet.

“I'm putting it in, alright?” Gladio whispered, low and deep.

“Please,” Ignis begged and he wasn't sure of what. Of the emptiness to disappear, or for Gladio to remain this close because his own nervousness grew when he felt the head against his hole.

But all his thoughts got shut down when Gladio slowly entered him.

It... hurt.

Ignis gasped and clutched at whatever part of Gladio he could reach. It burned, and it hurt because this was definitely bigger than three fingers. He felt Gladio's lips against his cheek, his temple and he felt Gladio's hand on the back of his head – the spot that always helped him relax, and Gladio knew that.

Ignis didn't need to tell him to go slow, or to not go all the way inside yet, or to add lube, because Gladio already did all of that. No, all he needed to do was wait for his body to get used to this, and though it felt like an eternity, at some point the pain became a dull feeling and the pleasure took over the more of Gladio slipped slowly inside him, in and out, and Ignis left reality as he drowned in this love and pleasure he felt. His legs tightened around Gladio's hips, his hands held his shoulders and his mouth was searching for the lips he needed to kiss. Ignis found all of that and more, so much more.

“Does it hurt?” Gladio choked.

“No... not anymore,” Ignis responded, whining and moaning and he missed the same noises from his boyfriend. It seemed like Gladio was still focused on not hurting Ignis, on making him feel good, that he ignored his own needs and held back instead of losing it all together.

“I'm fine, Gladio. You can go faster,” Ignis spoke.

“If I go faster I'll cum without getting to enjoy this with you,” Gladio's laugh was more of a breath but not less honest. “This feels pretty amazing too.” His arms wrapped around Ignis’ body, pressed his lips against his shoulder and Ignis did the same. He was wrong but it was okay as long as they both enjoyed it.

As they held each other and kissed, Gladio eventually started to move, his rhythm a steady in and out, careful not to go too deep tonight and perhaps hurt Ignis for real. But this was enough to make them both moan and gasp while Gladio became, steadily, faster and faster. Ignis moved with him, listening to Gladio's voice, feeling the sweet pleasure caused by their connected bodies. He was close, so close that his eyes rolled back when Gladio's hand touched his throbbing cock and started to pump it together with his thrusts.

One, two more and Ignis let go, clutching Gladio so hard he didn't even realize that he was scratching his back with his nails. His whole body was trembling, his voice moaning Gladio's name right into his ear and he felt his boyfriend coming too, heard his voice trembling and drowning together with Ignis’ into this endless bliss.

How much time passed Ignis didn't know but when his senses returned, his arms were still around Gladio's shoulders. He noticed the hot breath against his neck, their sweaty bodies still as close as possible and their hearts beating together in one fast rhythm. Slowly he opened his eyes, let his fingers wander up into Gladio's damp hair and turned his head to meet the amber eyes he loved so much. And that was all he could do because his body wouldn't move at all. He could smile, he could kiss Gladio back when he leaned in for a kiss, but he didn't feel his arms or legs anymore and started to giggle.

“Why are you laughing?” Gladio asked amused after he couldn't figure out what was so funny.

“I... can't move,” Ignis informed him.

“Huh, not being able to control your body is now amusing? What happened to the Ignis Scientia who hates to give up control?”

“He met a guy named Gladiolus Amicitia and his heart got tricked by his charms,” Ignis responded and made Gladio laugh too.

“What a wicked man,” Gladio said low, his hands holding Ignis' when he was back above him to kiss Ignis, while he slipped out of him. The sudden emptiness left a weird feeling but Ignis was boneless, too tired for more than kissing and cuddling. “I'll get a wet towel, don't move.”

“How funny,” Ignis rolled his eyes when Gladio grinned and disappeared into the bathroom. He returned within seconds and started to clean Ignis who still couldn't move at all before he cleaned himself. Gladio also put the lube back into the drawer of the nightstand and threw away the condom, and Ignis knew he did it because Ignis would have liked it so. But all he wanted was his boyfriend back beside him and to rest in his arms and enjoy the afterglow together.

“How are you feeling?” Gladio asked when he was done and climbing back on the bed, taking his place to Ignis' right side, amber eyes constantly watching the advisers’ face.

“Mmh... tired but happy,” Ignis said and somehow managed to move his heavy arms so he could roll on his side, resting his body against Gladio's. “You?”

“I'm the same,” Gladio whispered and kissed Ignis’ forehead before he pulled the blanket over their bodies. “Though, I'm scared about tomorrow.”

“What is tomorrow?” Ignis asked and tried to remember their schedules, but his mind wasn't able to.

“You'll be sore,” Gladio said. “I don't think you'll be able to walk straight. I'm just wondering what you'll tell Noct.”

Ignis almost blushed but he was too tired to do so. He was too tired to do anything but close his eyes and fall asleep to the beating of Gladio's heart and to his whispered words of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know it's been almost a month since I've updated, but here we - finally - are. I just really love these two and I can't get enough of them - though writing smut is not really my strength but hey, there is no doubt Gladnis has a pretty healthy sex life. Let me know what you think and thank you for reading :) from here on the angst and drama are slowly growing. 
> 
> Btw: I've participated during Gladnisweek so if you feel like check it out, it's here on AO3 as well. Or on my [Tumblr blog!](http://skrivarmelodi.tumblr.com/)


	14. Special Training

 

The sun was shining softly through the orange curtains of his dark wooden bedroom, and one ray slipping through the small gap and hitting Ignis’ left eye, woke him up.

He blinked several times and looked over the shoulder which was blocking his view as if to guess where the sun stood so he would know what time it was. Not that it mattered, because Noctis was going to sleep most of the day anyway after the exhausting ball.

The ball, Ignis remembered, and then felt the arm around his body, the soft snoring sound right next to his right ear and the warm body right in front of him, leaving no space between them. Ignis remembered it all and at first he felt this content happiness bubbling inside him in the most pleasant way, until he remembered more details, things Gladio said, things his body and voice did.

He became beet red just reminiscing and hid his face in the crook of Gladio's neck.

His mind recalled the night again and again, the painful and then sweet pleasure he felt when Gladio opened him up, when he moaned and groaned low and aroused. He recalled his own voice, his own body responding eagerly to everything they shared and how he felt no shame. Now Ignis felt more than ashamed of how much control he lost and how much he enjoyed it. No, perhaps it was no shame he felt because he would do it again but it was still... embarrassing.

“You're trembling,” Gladio mumbled against his forehead and hearing his voice was enough to send a shiver down his spine. He forced his horny feelings down and leaned back to face his boyfriend.

“Are you cold?”

Gladio asked and pressed Ignis closer to his body, not exactly helping him as he tried to keep his self-control intact.

“No,” Ignis whined and felt Gladio stir abruptly.

“Are you hurt?”

“NO!” Ignis shrieked when Gladio pulled the covers off their bodies and tried to cover his cock and nipples with his hands, as if Gladio hadn't seen him willingly spread his legs the night before.

He kept his eyes closed but had to open them to see Gladio because he wasn't moving, as Ignis could feel. What he saw was the confused expression of his boyfriend and sighed when the blanket was back around them both. It was ridiculous how much comfort and calm it brought when Ignis naked frame was no longer on display and the way the shield looked at him, amber eyes carefully watching him, were a distraction enough.

“It's just me, Iggy. No need to be shy,” Gladio murmured when he lay back next to Ignis and let his fingers run through Ignis' hair.

“I'm not... it's not that,” Ignis whispered and looked down while his hands let go of his body to rest on Gladio's chest, feeling his warm skin and his heartbeat.

“Do you,” Gladio started after a moment of silence when his fingers still ran through Ignis' hair but his other hand didn't touch Ignis at all: “regret last night?”

Ignis had heard Gladio's voice filled with concern, with little anger, happy, understanding, teasing and sad. He knew many tones of his voice and he knew there were even more he hadn't heard yet. Now was such a moment that Gladio's voice was filled with concern but it was a different one. He asked it so carefully and his eyes were filled with anxiousness, as if he was afraid that he had hurt Ignis without knowing it.

“I don't regret it,” Ignis contradicted. “Not a single moment.”

He could feel it under his fingers how the air that filled Gladio's lungs left his mouth as an heavy sigh before his hand returned to Ignis’ body, resting warmly on his back and warming him up. His green eyes moved upwards again, drowning in his boyfriend's beauty before he touched his face with his trembling fingers.

“I loved every moment of it... but I... thinking of what I did... the noises and me naked-” Ignis couldn't finish his sentence because he was scared his face might melt by how hard he was blushing.

“And I loved it all,” Gladio said and leaned his forehead against Ignis'. “I wasn't much different from you, Ignis. And it wasn't less embarrassing for me than it was for you.”

Ignis didn't doubt Gladio's words, he believed him with every fiber of his being. No, what bothered him was that Gladio was so good at hiding his own embarrassment and always managed to come across as experienced. He was, Ignis realized, far better at hiding how flustered he could become, while Ignis was far better at being collected and indifferent. He wished to have a bit more of this coolness, this confidence Gladio so easily showed. His confidence was always drawing Ignis in, and it was so attractive.

“You are cute and beautiful, Ignis. What's so bad about being lewd too?”

“I'm not sure if I like that word,” Ignis leaned back, glaring at his boyfriend's stupid grin.

“Well... what about sexy?”

“No.”

“Horny?” Gladio chuckled.

“I forgive you for saying that because we're still high school students,” Ignis mumbled, but Gladio's heartfelt smile caused the gentle warmth inside him to bloom and ogle at him with love in his eyes.

“Sorry for not being as eloquent as you are,” Gladio spoke in a fake dramatic voice.

“As I said, I forgive you,” Ignis sighed, feeling better.

“Because you love me?” the shield asked and suddenly all playfulness was gone and his face became soft, showing the love he so generously and openly gave Ignis. The adviser took it all in with fascination and then his own expression became soft and his lips curled up into a small smile. His mouth tried to move and his tongue held the words ready to be said out loud, but yet, they didn't. Instead Ignis nodded to confirm Gladio's words, smiling into the kiss Gladio initiated when he was half above him, and let his warm hand wander down Ignis’ body.

“How are you feeling though?” Gladio asked and rested his hand right above Ignis’ backside.

“Happy,” Ignis whispered, his own hand wandering up and down Gladio’s arm.

“And your body?”

“It's alright, I guess,” Ignis said because he couldn't really tell how his body felt. All he could focus on was the comfort of his bed and the softness and warmth of Gladio's skin. He felt good just lying around and sharing the affection they had for each other.

“Perhaps when you'll walk you'll feel sore,” Gladio mentioned.

“What about you?”

“I'm happy and my body's fine. I'm used to exercise a lot though.”

Ignis listened and his eyes wandered down Gladio's body, being the evidence of his words and yes, he was indeed used to move and exercise, certainly more than Ignis.

Determined to find out what the condition of his body was, Ignis slowly sat up and hissed.

“You should rest a bit more, Ignis,” Gladio said gently.

“No. I need coffee and I need to check on Noctis,” Ignis shook his head no. “I also need a shower.”

“I really think you shouldn't walk just yet.”

Gladio's words proved to be true when Ignis climbed off the bed but didn't get far, and it amused Gladio far too much for Ignis' liking. He almost fell but managed to fall back on the bed and was shocked about how his body felt like jelly and his backside was completely sore. Well, considering that Gladio had been inside him for the very first time, it shouldn't have been as surprising as it was. It was also sort of embarrassing, and Gladio's gentle chuckle wasn't helping either.

“Told ya,” Gladio mumbled and hovered above Ignis before he climbed off the bed and lifted Ignis into his arms, carrying him like a bride. “Let's shower together, okay? Otherwise I'll be worried that you might hurt your pretty head.”

Ignis sighed but he wasn't stubborn nor stupid enough to disagree. He really didn't trust his body but he trusted his boyfriend and smiled when he saw that happy smile on Gladio's lips. Why something as simple as showering together made Gladio this happy was a secret to Ignis, but he soon found out what was so amazing about it. It was all soft and warm how they stood together facing and cleaning each other in a slow and caring way. It was different from the make-out ~~s~~ and cuddling sessions they had or the sex.

It was a different level of intimacy, and Ignis liked to feel the way Gladio washed him with his large hands, making Ignis sigh and groan because it felt so good. His body became even softer, and his legs turned weak again but Gladio held him and placed gentle kisses on his shoulder, neck and face, making it hard for Ignis to wash him, but still caused short giggles to fall from his lips.

When they were both clean and fully making out, Ignis didn't stop but took Gladio's hard member into his hand – as Gladio did in return – and they jerked each other off. The hunger he felt and the pleasure their touch caused was new, but both didn't even think about ignoring it. It was true, Ignis had the day off, but he needed to be sure Noctis was fine and then he could still return and spend the rest of the day with Gladio in his bed.

But one thought bothered him and it had been there since Gladio started to sleep at his place more than usual.

“What do you tell your father when you sleep over though? And what about Iris? Isn't she getting lonely?” Ignis asked when they were back in his bedroom, sipping coffee and finally wearing underwear and a shirt. Being naked more than necessary was still a rather uncomfortable feeling for him.

“I tell him that we study together and I always stay when Iris is alone until she falls asleep. So far they haven't asked me anything but believe we're friends, the shield and sword of the future King, and preparing for that time together,” Gladio explained. “As long as I do what I have to do dad won't say anything, and he knows that the moment we enter university our free time will be very limited... so, I guess he lets me enjoy my youth.”

It calmed Ignis down a bit, though he wondered what was still holding him back from going public with their relationship. But Gladio wasn't pushing the issue and things were fine as they were so he decided to not think about it for now. Instead he agreed about their future: “That's true. University will be tough with our responsibilities for the crown growing, but we'll get used to that too, I think.”

“You sound like my father,” Gladio chuckled from where he was lying next to a sitting Ignis.

“It was actually something he said to me at the ball.”

“You talked to my father? About what?” Gladio asked surprised.

“He approached me because he said I looked tired. Then he told me all about responsibilities and how you've been in a bad mood because we weren't talking ,” Ignis explained and Gladio blushed, running a hand down his face.

“Talk about embarrassing parents,” Gladio mumbled.

“He was worried, there is nothing bad about that,” Ignis said and ran his fingers through Gladio's hair.

“Would you believe me if I tell you that my father actually enjoys gossip?”

Ignis swallowed down the coffee in his mouth and looked at his boyfriend with raised eyebrows. He did have a feeling that Clarus and Regis liked to gossip because they could behave like kids outside their duty. Ignis was shocked the first time he saw the King doing something rather childish, but then it also made him more human.

“I would. He and the King certainly haven't lost their childishness. But like, the adult version of it, if there's a word for it.”

“Right? If he knew about us he would go on and on about how I don't deserve you but he'dbe happy that you've decided to be with me. And then he would tell the King about it and soon everyone would know and my father would enjoy it all because it was his son dating the famous adviser,” Gladio said with an angry pout.

“I'm not famous,” Ignis denied, but he liked the idea of Clarus approving their relationship.

“Of course you are. Everyone is smitten by you.”

Ignis didn't want to start an argument and said nothing on that, saying instead: “And you do deserve me. I'm not that great I'm just doing my job the best way I know and can.”

He felt the bed dip and then Gladio's head was on his lap, his arms wrapping around Ignis’ middle as if he was Gladio's personal pillow.

“I probably have to tell you how amazing you are until you believe it yourself, huh? It's beyond me how you don't see that.”

Perhaps Ignis ego was simply too small to think that way about himself, or perhaps he didn't care enough about that in the first place. He wasn't like Gladio who knew about his skills and had no problem with showing them, but that was also what made Gladio so attractive and what he loved about him.

His endless confidence, as if he knew things would turn out good.

“As I said, I'm doing my job and I'm a humble person and I don't see the point in bragging,” Ignis tried to explain himself but Gladio's gentle smile told him he didn't need to justify himself.

Of course he didn't and Gladio's next words made it clear why.

“No, you don't need that. You're selfless and kind, so much that without me you'd probably pass out from overworking yourself.”

Ignis blushed but smiled as he nodded slowly: “Aren't we perfectly complementary?”

“Yeah,” Gladio said so softly and with such warmth in his eyes that Ignis felt his heart pumping pleasantly faster. “We are.”

 

* * *

 

“You're walking funny,” Noctis said after he entered Ignis’ apartment and watched him walking to the kitchen. “Gladio said you hurt yourself while sparing.”

The moment Noctis said that, Ignis relaxed and his mind stopped racing to find a believable answer. Apparently he wasn't the only one who could be prepared for certain situations and Gladio seemed to be a genius when it came to moments like this. Because Ignis didn't want to lie to Noctis but he also didn't want to give out their secret yet. Also, he had been positive that after a day of rest, the soreness would be gone. But apart from feeling better, his ass still hurt a bit.

“I'll be fine. I just need some rest,” Ignis said and opened the oven to get out the lasagna he cooked for dinner – he also hid some vegetables in it, hopeful that Noctis wouldn't notice them.

“Speaking of Gladio, where is he? He wanted to eat dinner with us.”

Ignis checked his phone before Noctis came and he did it now too, but there was no text from his boyfriend. It wasn't something concerning but it was weird that he didn't come with Noctis by his side.

“He said that his father wanted to see him and that he'll bring Iris too, otherwise she'd be alone,” Noctis explained while playing a game on his phone.

“I see,” Ignis said and couldn't help but feel slightly alarmed. Gladio spent two nights in a row at his place which was unusual since they made sure to keep their nights together by having a good explanation - like studying together.

Ignis started to fill their plates and when someone knocked against the door, Noctis opened it to let the Amicitia siblings inside. Ignis noticed that Iris didn't look happy and Gladio seemed to be exhausted. The rush of emotions he felt almost took over and showed on his face, but he had enough practice by now to hide how he truly felt. Even though it was hard when the person he loved looked anything but happy. So he asked, because he was the adviser and he kept a close eye on everything and everyone around him.

“Is something wrong?” Ignis looked from Iris to Gladio when they entered the kitchen, cleaning his hands in a towel.

“Gladdy will go camping and I can't go with him,” Iris complained.

“I'm not going to camp, Iris. I'm going on a special training,” Gladio sighed and probably repeated himself again.

“Special training?” Ignis asked, hearing about this for the first time. It wasn't uncommon for Gladio to leave - with Cor and other guards and the Kingsglaive - to train outside of Insomnia and face real demons and other foes, but something seemed to be off and Ignis didn't say anything but simply looked at Gladio for a bit longer than necessary.

“Yeah, it'll basically be the same training as usual but we'll be gone for a while longer,” Gladio explained. “Three weeks. Guess my summer break is shorter than yours.”

Three weeks?

Ignis shut his mouth before it could drop open and fixed his glasses just in case his eyes gave something away. Gladio sometimes left for a weekend or a week, but three weeks sounded like forever to Ignis. It was his duty and his job, Ignis knew that, but being together every day for so many years and then as a couple for almost 6 months, Ignis wasn't sure how he would handle this separation after they confessed their true feelings and shared their first time.

The thought of not having Gladio at his side during the night, no kisses, no private moments as a couple for three weeks sounded scary, and he didn't know where these unsettling feelings came from nor how to handle them for the next, at least, two hours he would spend together with Gladio, Iris and Noctis.

“It's part of your duty,” Ignis said and it was more directed towards himself, as if saying it out loud would make everything better.

He noticed Gladio's look, when Iris and Noctis sat down and started to chat, but Ignis looked away, not certain if he could keep up his mask.

During dinner the siblings and Noctis talked as if nothing was wrong and Ignis, who was quiet by nature, found comfort in that part of his personality. If he were a talkative person, everyone would have asked him questions about his well being, and he wouldn't have known what to answer or if he could keep up his fake indifference.

He listened when Noctis asked when Gladio would leave and when he heard that it would be that weekend, his mind started counting.

Five days, that was what they had left.

His first thought was to create some distance so their separation would hurt less but his heart started yelling at him to not do that. Ignis needed to talk to Gladio but he already knew the answer, so he waited until Gladio came to his apartment, much later that day, when Noctis and Iris were already sleeping.

Ignis closed the book he was reading in his bed and smiled when Gladio entered his bedroom, looking sorry for the change of plans, and it surprised Ignis that he didn't know about this special training.

“Hey,” Gladio approached him and leaned down to kiss Ignis before he climbed on the bed and sat down next to him, facing Ignis. “Sorry about the sudden change of plans.”

“You didn't know about that?” Ignis asked.

“No. It was a decision they made during the ball, after talking to some people outside of Insomnia. Apparently there are more demons than usual and the guards and Kingsglaive have to take care of that. Cor thought it would be a good idea to take us younger ones with them and go through a special training,” Gladio explained and then sighed. “Can't do anything against that though.”

“No. I understand. It's important but... also dangerous,” Ignis realized slowly. Outside of Insomnia were demons of all kinds and other dangerous creatures. It wasn't like he didn't trust in Gladio's abilities or in those of the others – who were all capable of fighting and using the King's magic.

“It'll be fine. Cor the immortal will be with us and the Kingsglaive too. And I promise I won't do anything stupid,” Gladio grinned and caused Ignis to smile too.

“You're right. However, three weeks is a long time considering we all have been together almost every day. It feels odd... especially after last night,” Ignis admitted, even though he had planned to keep it to himself. But he had also promised to be open and so he tried to do exactly that and be fair towards his boyfriend.

“It does feel wrong... like we took each others virginity and now I'm about to leave and you'll be here alone. Like, thanks for the fuck, bye,” Gladio said and Ignis had to chuckle about how blunt he could be and he watched his boyfriend's face softening when he heard Ignis laugh. “But it was more than that. It'll never be just a fuck what we have, right?”

“With me as your partner certainly not,” Ignis confirmed with rosy cheeks as Gladio laughed about his remark.

“How are you feeling though?” Gladio asked his hand running down Ignis' chest and causing shivers down his spine.

“Better but... I don't... I don't think I can... again,” Ignis stuttered because his arousal did grow suddenly by the simple touch, but his ass still burned and he wasn't ready for more tonight.

“No,” Gladio agreed and took Ignis hand into his to place a kiss on his knuckles. “And I can't stay the night with you. But I've planned to spend the last three nights before the training here with you. Though I'll have to sneak out during the night. My dad is pretty strict when it comes to this kind of stuff.”

Ignis didn't like the idea of spending the night alone but there wasn't much he could do and he was no friend of breaking rules. But Gladio was right, two nights alone wouldn't hurt them, and he didn't want to cause trouble for his boyfriend because he became rather needy and a bit too selfish for his own liking. So he nodded, as selfless as he was.

“Well, I'll be waiting right here for you.”

“Do I sense some selfish behavior? Aren't you going to tell me that I should focus on my duty and not break any rules?” Gladio asked a bit surprised.

“No... I want to see you... and I... I'd like to spend a couple of nights with you before you leave,” Ignis confessed with his face burning. He actually wanted to say that he wanted to have sex with Gladio again before he went, but that was too embarrassing with his mind functioning perfectly and not being clouded by lust.

“You're too damn cute, Ignis,” Gladio said before he moved closer to pull Ignis into a deep, gentle kiss, causing his mind to go blank, making it even harder to let go. He wished they were already studying and then they could come up with the idea to move in together so they wouldn't have to find excuses to why Gladio spend the night at Ignis' place.

“I should go,” Gladio whispered against his lips and Ignis nodded, forcing his hands to let go of Gladio's face.

He watched the shield climb of the bed, but his stupid grin foreshadowed that he had something on his mind. Ignis blinked but then blushed even more – he was sure steam was coming from the top his head – when Gladio kissed his cheek and whispered 'I love you'.

“You should really go,” Ignis whined because he was so close to jump on his boyfriend and keep him there forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter :) Sorry for updating like... once a month but my free time is basically non-existing - I should organize myself a bit better, I guess... - thanks for all the kudos and comments! It's really important for us writers, especially the comments, we appreciate every word you share :)


	15. Blood relations

  


“You're heavy,” Ignis mumbled against Gladio's shoulder, not really complaining since he enjoyed the feeling of Gladio's weight on his body.

He enjoyed feeling him naked on top of him, their skin touching and their scents and warmths mixing together. At least until he felt too exposed and too embarrassed to stay naked for a second longer and reached out to put on whatever top he could reach.

“Am I hurting you?” Gladio asked and lifted himself up but Ignis whined because he didn't want Gladio to move. It was just something he noticed and liked so his hands, unconsciously, squeezed Gladio's arms to keep him close.

“I... I didn't say that.”

Gladio cocked his head in a questioning gesture and Ignis blushed because he looked too cute with his hair falling on his forehead, all sweaty from what they were doing just moments ago.

It was their last night together and the past two days both of them had been more clingy than usual. Though, it took Ignis a lot to ask for cuddles, for kisses and to be more demanding in bed – which was embarrassing and funny at the same time. But he knew what he wanted and that was to be as close as possible to Gladio for as long as possible before he would leave for three weeks.

“I... like it. And I... I want to remember this feeling as clearly as possible until you return.”

His heart jumped as if it was trying to break out of his body when he watched Gladio smile and lean down to kiss him in the sweetest way possible. By doing that, his own chest pressed against Ignis' and he could feel Gladio's heartbeat following the same rhythm as his.

“I'll come back in one piece,” Gladio promised and Ignis huffed, smacking his arm.

“You better stay true to your words.”

“And you need to promise me that you won't overwork yourself,” Gladio spoke and rested his head on Ignis’ shoulder. “Noct will move out when I'm not here and I can imagine how you'll throw yourself into it and make everything perfect for him. Even if he only needs a bed, his video games and mangas. Oh, and food obviously.”

Ignis smiled and ran his fingers through Gladio's hair while holding hands with his free one.

It was true, Noctis would move out during the next three weeks and start living in his own apartment. Even though Ignis thought it was a bit too soon for Noctis to do so, it had been his own wish. He didn't want to drag too much attention towards himself by being picked up with one of the royal cars or have curious eyes on him when he'd enter the Citadel. It wasn't like people didn't know his face or his name, and they would eventually know who he was, but Noctis wished to have as much normality as possible during his High School years.

Ignis understood that and that Noctis also wished to make friends outside of the Citadel and he believed that if he came across as normal - as everyone else - some people might care for him and not just his heritage.

“I'm sure Noctis will keep me occupied as well as all my other responsibilities will,” Ignis said.

“Good. Though I hope you'll miss me a little because I will miss you a lot,” Gladio mumbled and planted a kiss on Ignis’ neck.

“I feel like if I say I will, it'll attract bad luck,” Ignis confessed.

“It's not like you to be so superstitious,” Gladio commented and held himself up to look at Ignis’ face.

“I'm not. Though, I've never been in love before and imagining what could happen, even though I know the Marshal and your father are with you... I can't shake this unsettling feeling off.”

Ignis felt proud of himself for being so open towards his boyfriend, which didn't mean that it had been easy.

His first instinct had been to play it off and pretend that everything was alright. But he couldn't handle the guilt the thought alone caused and it would have been unfair towards Gladio since they had promised to no longer hide their feelings.

“You know... listening how you put me first, before Noct even, makes me feel really loved.”

“Unlike you, Noctis is not going to face real demons.”

“Come on, Ignis. You know what I want to hear,” Gladio teased and his smiled grew a bit wider when Ignis' hands held his face gently and he leaned up to kiss him. But no word left his mouth and Ignis little grin – which was rare in itself – made Gladio understand that he wouldn't hear the words he was waiting to hear.

“You tease,” Gladio groaned playfully and wrapped both of his arms around Ignis so they were both sitting on the bed, Ignis flush against Gladio's naked body, straddling his lap.

A shiver went down Ignis’ spine, straight to his cock when he felt Gladio's fingers stroking along the side of his body.

“If you're not going to say it, than I'll have to do it for the both of us.”

His face could have lit into fire by how embarrassed Ignis still felt for being so exposed because, even though he had a shirt on, the rest of his body was naked. Though the nudity alone wasn't the cause for his burning cheeks. He was embarrassed at how easily aroused he felt and how his body shamelessly showed it, with his cock becoming hard within seconds.

Though when Ignis looked down between their bodies, he noticed that Gladio wasn't reacting much differently.

“Another round?” Gladio whispered against his lips and Ignis nodded, letting his boyfriend guide him as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

His eyes watched Gladio's reaching out for the half empty bottle of lube and he whimpered when he felt Gladio's lubed fingers nudging against his still slick hole.

“I suppose you don't need more preparation?”

“No... I'm fine,” Ignis spoke, his voice already nothing more than hot air.

Gladio kissed his cheek before he pulled him closer and Ignis clutched his shoulders, feeling his thick member against his hole and then slowly sinking down on it.

It was embarrassing, he thought, how much he enjoyed the feeling of being filled and how Gladio's low and guttural moans went straight through his body and head, making him dizzy and trembling with rising arousal.

His head rested on Gladio's shoulder while Ignis tried to get comfortable with this new position and followed Gladio's own insecure hands, which held his hips gently and through gentle squeezes and pushed by his fingers, taught Ignis how to move his hips. In theory Ignis knew what to do, but it was still odd for him to take the lead like that – not to mention how exposed and vulnerable he felt, even though he still had the shirt on.

He moaned whenever Gladio's cock filled him, pressing his mouth against Gladio's neck to muffle the noises he made because it felt so good. He wondered if he would ever not feel embarrassed when they had sex, but when one of Gladio's hands moved up his back tracing soothing patterns, he was certain that one day he wouldn't feel embarrassed anymore.

When Ignis felt Gladio's fingers on the back of his head sinking into his hair, he slowly leaned back and, by doing that, Gladio's member sunk even deeper inside him, forcing another moan out of his mouth and his whole body to tremble because of the mind blowing feeling. Both stopped moving until they got used to the new sensation and when Ignis slowly opened his eyes, he locked them with Gladio's, both burning with arousal but even more with the love they felt for each other. His right hand let go of Gladio's shoulder, moving up to rest on his handsome face, which had lost all its boyish features - apart from the teasing grin or the puppy eyes Gladio could make.

The thought that something could happen during their training and that Ignis wouldn't be able to see Gladio growing into a fine man right by his side, almost brought tears into his eyes. But he soon collected himself, deciding to trust in the abilities of his boyfriend and the people who would do everything to keep everyone safe.

But he needed to let Gladio know how he felt and hoped that that would bring him back in one piece.

“I'll miss you,” Ignis whispered which, for him, was the equivalent of saying 'I love you'.

There was a beat before Gladio smiled, all happy and radiant, because he understood _what_ Ignis was saying and Ignis smiled in return, opening his mouth when passionate lips claimed his.

  


* * *

 

Ignis didn't understand himself at all the next morning.

While he considered kissing right after waking up intolerable, walking around naked as a nuisance and being clingy as childish, he did all of the things himself the morning of Gladio's departure.

They woke up early together, sharing sweet kisses while holding each other, they left his bedroom to take a shower together, not even bothering with clothes, and all the while Ignis made sure to have some sort of physical contact with Gladio.

May it be only the tip of his fingers feeling Gladio's warm skin, or may it be them in the kitchen, drinking coffee together while Ignis rested his head against Gladio's shoulder, both dressed to face the day.

Ignis was sure that he wasn't making this whole goodbye easier for them, and he did miss the indifference he could so easily portray and follow. But before Gladio, he had never experienced this sort of love and he still needed to learn more about it.

And as long as Gladio didn't complain what he did couldn't be wrong, right?

“C'mere,” Gladio mumbled when their cups were empty and Ignis didn't hesitate, pressing his body flush against Gladio's, both his arms wrapping around his broad back and sinking into his body heat and smell, doing his best to remember it all. With his glasses put aside, he could press his ear closer to Gladio's chest and listen to his heartbeat, the sound becoming his favorite melody, especially being the evidence that the person he loved was well and alive.

Ignis closed his eyes to avoid any sort of distraction so all his other senses were allowed to take in what he would recall during the lonely hours.

The strong arms around his body, shielding him from the rest of the world so only the two of them existed, the faint feeling of Gladio's stubble when he kissed Ignis’ lips or cheeks, the low voice humming something, the warmth of his body keeping away all cold thoughts, and the fingers leaving invisible marks of love.

When the time came to face the rest of the world, Ignis commanded his old self to come to life - the one that existed before he fell in love and the one that helped him focus on what he swore to do when he became Noctis' consultant.

Certainly he had changed and he wasn't the same person he used to be more than a year ago anymore, but he had masks, a role to play and a certain place, like everyone else.

And now, with Gladio leaving, he needed to put his love aside.

With a sigh he signaled Gladio that it was time to part and felt Gladio loosening his arms so Ignis was able to lean back and face the shield. It was ridiculous how tall Gladio was for an eighteen year old but it was what Ignis liked about him, even though he was waiting for his own grown spurt.

Being so small wasn't a bad thing when it came to cuddling but it was something bad when it came to observing his surroundings. He liked to have a clear view, flawless and with no barriers in front of him. But for now he needed to stand on his tiptoes and stretch his neck to meet Gladio in the middle who, in return, had to bent down. But that didn't stop nor bothered them because Gladio took great joy in lifting Ignis up – who secretly loved it, but yet complained.

The kiss, deep, sweet and gentle, found its end and when they rested their foreheads together Gladio whispered: “I love you.”

Ignis held his breath, eyes still closed.

His mouth formed the words but his voice failed him.

“And please take care of yourself.” Gladio continued.

Ignis nodded slowly and opened his eyes to look into Gladio's and was met by a glistening amber color.

One last kiss on his cheek, one last squeeze on their hands and then Gladio left his apartment and Ignis furiously rubbed his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Love was a cruel thing, Ignis realized after three days without Gladio.

Love had been cruel before when it was still one-sided, but now that he actually was together with the person his heart belonged to, love had become even crueler. It wasn't the first time that they were apart for a while since they became a couple, but it was the first time after confessing their feelings, and the level of their relationship was fundamentally different.

The first night without Gladio wasn't as bad but the third night – which usually was the night the spent together – brought in the heavy feeling of loneliness Ignis had been waiting for.

Restless, he clutched the pillow that Gladio used and inhaled his remaining scent to fill the hole in his heart. And it helped, but it wasn't the same. But then, when he pulled the pillow closer, he felt something that wasn't there before.

With the light on Ignis reached out for the fabric that had been hidden under the pillow, and found one of the many hoodies Gladio owned.

Ignis sat down on his bed and held the hoodie up and it reminded him of the feeling of Gladio holding him, because of how big it was. Gladio probably hid it under there for Ignis and that thought warmed him up and made him smile.

Without hesitation he put the hoodie on, held the hem of it and brought it to his nose to breath in the smell of Gladio's perfume. It was so big that his hands were hidden by the sleeves and more than half of his body covered.

It wasn't the same as having Gladio next to him, but it was enough for now.

Besides, Noctis did a good job in keeping him busy and his thoughts away from how much he missed Gladio. His move was still two weeks away but there was a lot to pack and even more things to throw away. Ignis spent most of his free time sorting Noct's things out, together with him, and was surprised because he had never realized how many things Noctis still had. Iris was with them, helping Ignis more than the Prince himself, who couldn't decide what he wanted to keep and what not – except for his Manga and Video games.

She was her usual happy self but he noticed the moments when she was lost in her thoughts with her smile gone. He knew how much Iris meant to Gladio and how equally important she was for him. Even though Gladio didn't ask him to take care of Iris, Ignis felt like it was his responsibility since Gladio wasn't there.

Iris and Noctis came to his place for dinner and kept each other distracted from the missing people in the Citadel. It was weird seeing King Regis without his shield, weird to not meet Cor in the hallways while he was talking to the guards, and with Gladio gone, the Citadel seemed to be unusually silent and missing warmth.

Even Noctis voiced that he missed having Gladio around.

One evening King Regis came to Noctis’ room and Ignis immediately stood up to bow down and greet His Majesty with the respect the protocol required. Noctis did not, and Iris beamed at the King who was, probably, like a father to her too – and she was still just a child.

The King greeted them with a warm smile and then looked around the room, seeing the boxes and empty furniture.

“Noctis, are you done packing?”

“Not yet,” he mumbled and rummaged through one of the boxes. “Don't you have a meeting though? Why are you here?”

Ignis raised an eyebrow because, even if Noctis was right and King Regis was supposed to attend a meeting with his many consultants, Ignis wouldn't dare to question the King and his decisions if he himself did not ask for his opinion.

Regis looked at his son for mere seconds before his facade changed and a deep sigh left his mouth, making him look a bit older.

“It's boring without Clarus. No one understands my jokes better than he does.”

Noctis snorted and Iris giggled, but Ignis needed a moment to process his King's words and then hid his own smile. The King was strong, wise, and someone you shouldn't anger, but he was also an old child deep within himself and Clarus was his best friend and the person he trusted the most.

Obviously he would miss him.

“Clarus is the only person who understands your humor,” Noctis said and blushed, probably remembering the embarrassing things his father could say.

“That might be the truth. However, do you need some help?”

“It's alright, Your Majesty. We're almost done,” Ignis spoke because he knew Noctis would be embarrassed if his father went through his stuff, while all he wanted to do was to spend time with his son – which had already become rare enough. “But we'd appreciate your company.”

The King smiled at Ignis and nodded slowly, as if he understood what Ignis was trying to say and sat down on a chair.

They continued packing and Noctis suddenly started helping Ignis, grabbing all the things his father shouldn't see – it amused Ignis so much he tried not to laugh. Iris, however, claimed the spot on the King’s lap and listened to him and the stories he used to tell Noctis when he was younger.

Hours later, when everything Noctis owned was packed in boxes and he and Iris were fast asleep in his bed, Regis pulled the covers over them and watched them sleep for a while.

Ignis made himself busy cleaning the remains of unused tape and things Noctis did not need. When he was almost done, his eyes found a frame ~~d~~ that was put down so no one could see the picture and he instantly knew what it was. It was the only picture of Noctis and his mother right after his birth, before she died. He didn't dare to take it nor look at it because Noctis needed to decide what he wanted to do with it, but its position told him that Noctis didn't feel good about it.

“Thank you for your hard work, Ignis,” Regis said and caused Ignis to jump because he was so deep in his thoughts.

“It's my pleasure,” Ignis said, fixing his glasses and letting the King pick up the picture.

Instead of looking at the picture, he watched the King’s face and the softness it showed, paired with a bitter sadness in his eyes. Ignis didn't know what it felt like to lose a loved one nor what it meant to be a single father, so he said nothing and gathered the trash together to one corner of the room, letting the King reminisce in his thoughts and feelings.

“How is Noctis?” The King asked after he put the picture back and Ignis crossed the room to stand next to him.

“He's doing good. It's hard and he can be difficult, but he's trying,” Ignis truthfully said.

“Does he have any friends outside of the Citadel?”

“Not yet,” Ignis chose his words carefully, because he was certain that Noctis would find friends he considered worthy and who respected him for who he was. “He's not unhappy, but there are certain things Gladio nor I can give him. Or anyone from the Citadel.”

“No, there are certain things none of us can give my son. I know that very well.”

Ignis nodded when they left the room and closed the door behind them.

“I'm convinced that you and Gladio will help Noctis to find friends who cherish him the same way you do,” Regis spoke while they walked away from the apartment. “What about you? Are you feeling well?”

Ignis nodded slowly. “I'm fine, Your Majesty. The last year of high school is approaching fast and Gladio and I are focusing on our studies,” he spoke and almost blushed when he realized what he actually said.

It became normal for him to spend his free time with Gladio, so normal that he sometimes forgot that their relationship was still a secret.

How could he forget about the condition he had set?

Regis smiled in a way Ignis hadn't seen before and tried to shake this odd feeling off, as if the King was looking right through him. No, he couldn't possibly know.

“I'm glad to hear that. Goodnight, Ignis.”

With that the King left and Ignis rushed into his room, praying to the Astrals that no one knew about their relationship.

Though, what bothered him even more, was that he still wanted their relationship to be a secret, even though Ignis had no doubt that he and Gladio would stay together no matter what. They respected and loved each other equally and they followed their duty and put it first, before everything else, even with their small disagreements.

Everything was fine and yet Ignis couldn't explain why he wasn't ready to be open about their relationship, even knowing that Gladio was.

The moment Ignis allowed him to be open about their relationship, he was certain that Gladio wouldn't shut up about them... about Ignis.

All the sweet things he said to him in private and all the sweet things they did in private, would easily become things for the public eye to see. Not because Gladio treated Ignis like some sort of trophy or because he wanted to make people jealous, but because it was his way of showing his love.

And he wanted everyone to know how much he loved Ignis, that Ignis would feel utterly embarrassed but at the same time deeply loved.

Then he wondered about the impact this 'coming out' could have.

Would their relationship be considered as a conflict of interest since they were responsible for Noctis and his well being?

What about the people who wouldn't support their relationship or say, once again, nasty things about Ignis – things like he got his position by sleeping with the shield of the Prince?

Gladio did say that his father would be happy and Ignis himself had no doubt that they would be supported by the people closest to them.

It wasn't about that.

It was about everything else he couldn't guess or foresee that made him uncomfortable.

He smiled to himself as he entered his bedroom and found Gladio's hoodie there, aching to put it one and drown in the smell and illusion of the arms and heartbeat he missed so much. If Gladio could hear his words he would tell Ignis that it didn't matter what everyone else thought, their love was for them.

It only had to make sense for them and as long as they were happy and making the other happy, nothing else mattered.

Ignis wished Gladio would be there and share his head-space in which he seemed to be comfortable with himself and the world around him. Perhaps he should talk about this with Gladio and come to a decision together.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks passed and Ignis was sitting at a council meeting, listening to the rather light themed conversations about improvements in the city and the raising numbers of refugees. Nothing about war, nothing about international politics. There was no point in talking about something with missing information which got usually delivered by Cor and Clarus, who were responsible for the soldiers leaving Insomnia to talk to the people outside of the safe wall.

The talk about refugees and how the people reacted wasn't new to him, since he went through that every day. It was an issue that wasn't easy to solve, Ignis knew that very well, and though he shared his thoughts and suggestions, it was up to the people to change their behavior, no matter if they were citizen of Insomnia or coming from somewhere else.

During the two hour long meeting, Ignis felt his phone buzzing in the pockets of his trousers. Nothing unusual, since Noctis didn't care what time it was or where Ignis was when he texted him because he simply felt like it or needed something.

He counted the times his smartphone came to life and after the tenth time Ignis started to have an unsettling feeling.

What if something bad happened and Noctis needed help?

But wouldn't the guards run into this meeting and inform the King?

Ignis looked up from his notes and watched the door which in fact opened and Monica rushed inside. By then everyone looked up and stopped talking, watching the short haired woman not hesitate, stopping right next to King Regis and whispering something into his ear.

Ignis watched his face carefully, trying to read what could have possibly happened and when there was no trace of panic or fear, but only surprise, Ignis felt a bit calmer.

“I'm sorry but we need to postpone this meeting. Ignis, you need to come with me,” Regis spoke and Ignis immediately followed his words.

He gathered his things inside his briefcase and followed the King through the hallways of the Citadel until they stopped when the ways parted. Ignis was already moving towards the direction where Noctis' room was, as if he knew he was supposed to go there and the King nodded: “Take care of Noctis and Iris. I'll be there soon.”

Ignis' trust for his King did not allow any doubt to rise or any hesitation to stop his body from moving. He arrived at Noctis’ room to the sound of a girl crying and a Prince who suddenly looked so much younger as he tried to calm the little girl down. Ignis had never seen Iris this sad and shaken and, even though the King seemed to be calm, Iris was not.

Which could only mean one thing, right?

Something had happened to Clarus or Gladio, right?

His pulse was rising at an unhealthy rate and all his blood seemed to be gone and making him feel cold at the tips of fingers and crawling up further. No, he needed to calm down and hear what made Iris pale as if she saw a ghost.

Ignis took a deep breath and then walked over to them, and the moment Iris noticed his presence, she jumped off the bed and ran right into his arms.

He knew he wasn't big like Gladio and probably even less warm, he didn't have the same low voice and the same warm eyes, but he was the closest to her brother for now. He let her cry against his shoulder, held her small shaking body and looked up to Noctis who felt sorry for her but there was more and it had nothing to do with Gladio or his father.

“What happened?” Ignis eventually asked, covering Iris ear as he ran his fingers through her brown hair in a soothing manner.

But Noctis didn't answer and instead took his phone out and started to type something down.

Ignis didn't need to wait for too long until he got the answer and when he read the words his eyes grew wider and wider.

He had never thought that _that_ person was able to postpone a meeting between the council.

_Gladio's mother was back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry this took so long - again - but here it finally is. Thank you for reading and I hope to get the new chapter done way much sooner (20% are already written so there is hope). Did I mention this fic is going to be a loooong one? :D Thanks for the support, comments, and kudos :)


	16. Impolite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I've manage to finish the chapter sooner than I thought. Which is good because the cliffhanger was mean, I know. But let's see what will happen :)

Chapter 16. Impolite  
  
Ignis didn't know much about Gladio's mother but since he himself knew what it felt like to be abandoned by his own parents, he understood the kind of pain and emptiness it could bring, even though a person like that shouldn't be missed. However, blood was thicker than water and while people learned to live with it, it didn't mean that they wouldn't feel anything if that certain person returned into their life. 

He never asked Gladio about his mother because he believed that if Gladio ever wanted to talk about her, he would do it when and if he wanted to just like Ignis had done when he cut any remaining connection to his parents - even though he didn't tell Gladio everything about his hometown.

Right now he wished for more information about who Gladio's mother was and what she had done to make Iris react the way she did.

She was shaking for a long time and cried herself to sleep, emotionally exhausted.

Ignis carried her to Noctis’ bed, arranging the pillows to make everything comfortable for her and then returned to Noctis’ living room, where the Prince was sitting on the couch looking irritated. 

It seemed like Noctis knew the things Ignis was wondering about and were a huge, missing part in his analysis.

Slowly he approached the Prince and placed his hand on his shoulder, attempting to give him support and strength. 

“She sleeps peacefully,” Ignis said and sat down next to Noctis. 

“That's good. I didn't know what to do when she ran over here and looked like she saw a ghost,” Noctis sighed. “I don't understand why that woman returned. She already caused enough ruckus when she left for the first time.”

To understand the ~~this~~ whole situation Ignis needed to know more but his conscience reminded him that this was a story Gladio should tell him and also a story he wanted to hear from Gladio's perspective.

But Gladio wasn't there with them.

He was away, learning and - Ignis hoped - making sure to come back in one piece, because people that loved him were waiting for his return.

Gladio also wasn't there to handle the situation, to comfort his sister and Noctis, so Ignis had to do that and he had to break his rule and ask Noctis.

“What did she do?”

“You don't know?” Noctis asked, clearly surprised. “It's not like you to not know something, Specs.”

“It's a private story that can't be found in books and can only be told by people who experienced it. That is the Amicitia family and the people close to the family, which means you.”

Noctis nodded slowly, collected himself by saying nothing at first and laced his fingers together before he spoke.

“Gladio told me that his mother was very young when she met Clarus, like... sixteen years old. But they were in love so they became a couple, eventually got married when she turned eighteen and had a child, Gladio, soon after. However... she wasn't around much after Gladio was born and even less after she gave birth to Iris. She was more out than with her kids and all about the luxury that came with being married to the King's shield. Not ready to be a responsible mother and live under the conditions of the crown she and Clarus fought a lot and eventually got divorced. All of that happened around the time you came.”

Ignis listened carefully connecting the dots, but also because Noctis rarely spoke as much as he just did.

He was certain that there was more to it, but the lack of responsibility from Gladio's mother, showed that she had been too young to be a mother. Ignis didn't ask if Noctis knew more, deciding to wait for Gladio to return and ask him instead.

He also wondered how Gladio and his father would react when they knew she had returned.

“I understand,” Ignis spoke and looked to the door, waiting for the King to appear. “His Majesty is meeting her right now.”

“I hope my dad will kick her out. She doesn't deserve to be here,” Noctis mumbled and his anger came from a place of love for his family and friends.

For Noctis it was the worst seeing the people he cared about suffer.

“I suppose he'll listen to her and what she wants. After all, her two kids are living here and she is their mother,” Ignis said and noticed Noctis' confusion so he continued to explain himself. “I understand that she did unforgivable things and caused her family a lot of pain. But she's still a mother and some people change and deserve second chances. However, as you know, I cut all ties with my family, so I understand why you nor Gladio or Iris want her around and that she brings back memories and feelings you'd rather forget and never go through again. But His Majesty is a parent too and he understands how a parent feels.”

Noctis face softened and he nodded to show is understanding. 

“I feel sorry for Iris, though. She's all alone in this situation and I wish Gladio and his father were here to give her the support she needs,” Ignis heaved a sigh and looked over to the other room where the little girl was sleeping.

The anticipation he felt when he realized another day was over and Gladio's return was approaching, changed into something else, and it came from a place of utter insecurity.

Gladio knew what happened, he knew Iris the best and he would know how to help her, while Ignis didn't want to leave her alone but was even more scared to make everything more difficult for her. 

The sound of the knock against the wooden door reminded Ignis to keep his composure and not wish for something that wouldn't happen for another week.

He was there and Gladio was not and all he could do was trust his feelings and his King.

He walked to the door and opened it for the King, whose face was unreadable but turned into a sad smile when he saw Iris sleeping in Noctis bed, her face swollen and puffy from all the crying.

“I see you were able to calm her down, Ignis,” the King spoke as if he was trying to fill the silence with his voice and create an atmosphere of comfort, as if he knew they all needed it.

Ignis did feel a bit better, and so did Noctis who left the couch and approached his father. 

“What did she want?” 

The King slowly looked away from Iris and then towards his son, a look of fatherly love and one Ignis used to envy when he was younger, because his father wasn't able to look at him in the same way.

Today though he liked to see son and father interact and share the same respect and love – even though Noctis tried to hide it through being a moody teenager.

“She said she wanted to see her children and I'm in no position to decline her request. As for now, she'll be our guest,” Regis spoke slowly, his voice heavy like he had swallowed another burden. 

“But... you know what she did to Gladio and his family,” Noctis protested, his hands turning into fists but then relaxing when his father spoke once more.

“I know, Noctis. But Clarus and I never talked about what we would do if she returned. We thought she wouldn't but now with her return I can't say no to a mother. However,” Regis added before Noctis could speak again: “I don't plan to let Iris see a woman she doesn't know until Clarus and Gladio return.” 

The King's eyes traveled from Noctis to Ignis and when he felt his gaze on him, Ignis stood straight, listening to every word.

“Ignis, I know you already have enough to do with Noctis moving out but would you include Iris into the moving? She needs her friends now.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” Ignis said without hesitation.

Even without the King's request Ignis would have taken care of his boyfriend’s sister because her happiness and well being was also connected to Gladio's, and he respected the whole family Amicitia for how devoted they were to their duty. There was also the fact that Clarus had always treated him like he was his own son. He was strong and strict, but with a heart as big as Gladio's and he couldn't disappoint him nor his son.

He would never forgive himself.

“Thank you. It's unfortunate that Clarus and Gladiolus aren't here, but we'll handle this situation.”

Ignis didn't doubt his words but he wondered what happened to Gladio's mother, though he hesitated to ask. It felt like a topic that shouldn't be of his concern and also something so private that, since no one knew he and Gladio were lovers, if he asked questions about it, it would come across as too noisy or even rude, and he was none of that.

Though, as Noctis’ future and a person who needed to have as much information as possible to come to the best solution for whatever obstacle, it would have been only natural for him to ask. 

But most importantly, he cared as much as His Majesty did. 

“May I ask what happened to Gladio's mother? Is she still here?” Ignis decided to ask in the end. 

The King didn't seem to be surprised about Ignis’ interest. 

“She wishes to see her children and talk to Clarus, though I've told her that they aren't here except for Iris. So I suggested for her to return next week but that woman is very stubborn,” the sigh told Ignis that the King’s plan didn't work out.

“She'll be staying here, in one of the guestrooms far away from you guys, though I can't guarantee you won't cross ways.”

Ignis nodded slowly, already recalling the map of the citadel, the paths from the guestrooms to the Amicitia residence and to his own apartment, to prepare a route they could use that could prevent such a meeting. 

“I told Jared to keep her away from Iris but I'd feel better if she were with you or Noctis. Laila doesn't know you and she has enough respect to not bother me nor Noctis,” Regis continued and Ignis nodded once more. 

“I understand, Your Majesty. Don't worry about Iris, I'll be at her side until her family returns.”  
  


* * *

  
Ignis used to share an apartment with his uncle when he came to Insomnia, but he soon started living on his own. At least until Gladio moved half in with him, which Ignis got easily used to.

But he never realized how many things Gladio actually brought into his apartment, beside the basic things like a toothbrush or clothes.

There were at least five books no one would believe Ignis read and a DVD collection of soaps with titles like ‘Insomnia Broken hearts’, and now Ignis needed to hide all of those things because he had promised Iris that she could stay with him until her father and brother returned. 

Watching the girl cry when he accompanied her back to her home broke his heart and, after talking to Jared - the butler of the Amicitias - it was decided.

While he helped her pack the things she needed, Ignis made sure to hide all the things left by his boyfriend.

It was something he usually took care of whenever Gladio went back home, but with him gone Ignis felt like he needed as many things as possible around him in his own four walls, so the loneliness he felt could be bearable. 

With Iris at his side and Noctis’ move he didn't even have the time to dwell on how much he missed Gladio - during the day that was.

“Highness, are you sure you know how to use the oven?” Ignis asked on the third day of moving.

The first day they had carried everything out of Noctis’ old room and brought it to his new apartment, floor 15, close to his high school - because sleep was sacred to Noctis and he had the tendency to oversleep.

The second day had been all about organizing Noctis’ room so he would know where to place everything and have a functioning system - at least that was Ignis intention while he was working on a system for the Prince.

Now he was looking at a pitch black pizza and wondered if it was a talent or not that Noctis managed to do that. 

The Prince shrugged but the tips of his ears became red while Iris giggled and said: “It's not that hard, Noct. Even I can do it.”

Noctis, unlike any other time, didn't look like he felt attacked or put on a grumpy mask. Instead he smiled fondly at her, realizing, just like Ignis, that it was the first time that Iris showed any sort of joy since her mother invaded her life.

“Iris and I are going grocery shopping so you won't starve to death. And I'll take care of the cooking until you know how to do the basics,” Ignis said and he could hear Gladio laugh in his head, imagining how he would remind Ignis that this was simply ~~is~~ the outcome of spoiling Noctis so much - not just by him, but by everyone who was responsible of the Prince well being.

Noctis then did show his grumpy face and crossed his arms over his chest, looking younger with the pout on his lips. 

Together with Iris they left the apartment and made their way to the closest marketplace, since Ignis ensured that everything he bought was fresh and healthy, but he had enough mind to buy simple things like Cup Noodles.

Iris looked at the cups with a sad smile and Ignis tried to come up with something he could say to make her feel better. 

“We should buy some for your brother. I'm sure he'll be happy to be able to eat one of those when he returns,” Ignis said and succeeded because Iris beamed at him and nodded so hard that her hair swayed back and forth.

It was good having her around because she understood the basics of cooking and healthy eating, even though she was still so young. With her father being the shield of the King and her brother the shield of the Prince, Ignis knew that she probably didn't see them much and had to fill the free time with other things.

She, too, attended a good school and a special education, since her family had always been the shield for the Lucis Kings.   
“Do you enjoy cooking, Iris?” Ignis asked as they made their way to the register. 

“Yes, I'm better at baking as you know, but I like to cook. Otherwise my brother would only stuff his face with Cup Noodles.”

Ignis chuckled.

“What about school, do you like it?” 

“It's alright. But I can't wait to get the same training as Gladio does. I'd like to be part of the Kingsglaive one day and protect who needs protection. But I'd also like to explore the world.”

“Gladio mentioned that you can fight,” Ignis remembered. 

“He's giving me private lessons since dad thinks I'm too young and should focus on something different. He doesn't like the idea of me becoming a soldier.”

Ignis watched her carefully but didn't get the chance to respond since it was their turn at the register.

They packed everything into the trolley and walked to the black car - obviously showing that it belonged to the royal family.

He opened the trunk and finally spoke the words he'd been holding back. 

“I think your father wants to protect you. He knows what the danger outside of Insomnia looks like and he probably wants something else for you.”

“You think so?” Iris asked and her face looked so young and not like the one of a ten year old. 

“Well, I can't say for certain but I guess that's what parents do. They try to protect their children from any harm as long as they can. But I'm also sure, if that's your dream, he'll support you nevertheless.”

Iris said nothing for a while and then smiled at Ignis with a new found confidence as they closed the trunk and drove back to Noctis’ place.

Ignis felt pretty proud of himself that he managed to take care of Gladio's sister and make her smile. Though, when he went to the library to get a few books - he needed to recharge after dealing with Noctis and also getting used to the thought that he was now on his own, away from Ignis immediate reach - his thoughts constantly returned to Noctis and his fingers ached for his phone to text him and ask if he was still alive, but he held himself back, wanting to give Noctis the freedom he wanted.

Books were the best media to keep him distracted, though he wished Gladio would be with him and read out loud to him. It was their little ritual since they both enjoyed reading books, but not always enjoyed the same genre, except for history. 

Yet, he picked one for the romance novels too.

With four books in his arms he walked towards the exit and checked his phone once more to be sure that Noctis didn't text him, but being busy with his phone, he didn't see the woman in front of him and walked right into her.

The books slipped from his arms and fell to the ground with a thud, followed by an apology from a female voice. Ignis hunched down to pick the books up and when he looked back up, his breathing stopped for a second.

He wondered what Gladio's mother looked like, since he nor Iris seemed to have inherited anything from Clarus - he had blue eyes and gray hair but it used to look like Gladio's when he was younger.

Now, though, Ignis was looking into eyes as amber as Gladio's were and a smile that reminded him of his boyfriend too. But that face had not the same warmth nor charm, at least not in the same genuine way as Gladio's or Iris did. 

“No harm done,” Ignis said and pushed his specs up his nose to hide his face and recollect himself: “I should have been more careful.”

There was no doubt in his mind who that woman was but he wasn't there to talk to her and he honestly didn't want to. There was something about the way she looked and the way she smiled that set him on guard. Though, what he wanted to avoid even more, were the eyes that awoke the loneliness he had tried to push into the depths of his soul.

He left the library as fast as he could and looked back now and then to make sure she wasn't following him, since Iris was in his apartment and he saw it as his responsibility to hide any traces that could lead Laila to her.

When Iris was sleeping on the couch - which he turned into a paradise of pillows and blankets - he made himself comfortable in his bed and tried to focus on one of the books, but no matter how hard he tried, his mind constantly went back to Laila.

She was charming and beautiful, her eyes alone made heads turn her way and it wasn't hard to understand why Clarus fell in love with her.

Gladio and Iris looked so much like their mother but their kindness was honest and not a mask hiding something Ignis had learned to read when he was bullied at school.

With a heavy sigh he closed the book, lay down, and reached for the pillow that had lost most of Gladio's smell by now.

Three more days, he thought, and then Gladio would return and face the woman who was the core of pain Ignis understood perfectly.

And he was ready to stand at his boyfriend's side.

 

* * *

  
“Stop hiding her from me, Regis. She's my daughter and I'm allowed to see her,” sharp words filled the empty hallways when Ignis walked to another council meeting late afternoon.

He wasn't a person to eavesdrop but Laila didn't care if anyone heard her or not. And it proved that his defensive behavior towards her had been right. No one ever dared to call the King out so blatantly and for everyone to hear, only those who were after something and were trying to put the King into a difficult situation.

He had half the mind to not step in and protect what was important since he knew his King would be able to handle this, but at the same time this woman managed to aflame his nerves in a way no one else ever did - not even Noct and his picky eating.

“I'm not hiding her from you. It's her choice to not see you and all you can do is respect that until Clarus returns,” Regis said and Ignis looked around the corner to see if he was alone.

He wasn't.

His uncle was standing right next to him, watching Laila carefully, on guard in the same way Ignis was.

Ignis eyes wandered away from the people he knew to the woman who looked so beautiful in her dark dress and long dark curls falling on her shoulders. But her eyes and face lost the innocent beauty and the warmth she had put on days before. All Ignis could see was an ugliness that he had experienced when people said racist things about the refugees in Insomnia, a spiteful hate that could become dangerous if ever turned into action.

“Clarus,” she said his name with a cold chuckle. “Tell me, is he still your little puppy? I guess he is, right? If he would have been more ~~l~~ focused on me instead of you, I'm sure we would still be together and my children would have a mother.”

Ignis clenched his fist and held his breath, wishing for Ramuhs thunder to strike down on her. 

“If your aim is to cause a ruckus again, I will ask you to leave this place, Laila,” his uncle spoke and he heard Laila huff. 

“Shut it, Ronan. It's none of your business.”

“I'm the King’s advisor, of course it's my business and my duty. I know my place, unlike you who don't understand what it means to be a mother.”

Ignis was not a supporter of hatred or any impolite behavior. It was a pointless human trait he wished wouldn't exist in order to avoid a war or a political tension between two nations.

However, listening to his uncle's wit and sharp, smart tongue, reminded him why he was the way he was, but also made him understand why he disliked Gladio's mother so much.

When he visited his parents to share his final goodbye, he had been so angry and so hurt, but none of it ever showed on his face or filled his words. He had been his cold, logical self, following a plan he had created in his head so it wouldn't hurt nor burst with anger or utter sadness because his parents saw nothing more than a money machine in him.

His feelings probably weren't appropriate since he had no connection to that woman, but that he was dating her son, yet he couldn't control them.

“It's alright, Ronan. We have other matters to take care of,” Regis spoke and looked back at the failure of a mother.

“Clarus will return tomorrow. After you've talked I will ask you to leave this place.”

Laila’s face was so red that she looked like she was about to spit fire but not another word left her mouth and she turned on her heels and stomped away.

Ignis waited for the King and his uncle to enter the council room and followed them when the door closed.

Ignis had difficulties focusing on the meeting and he wasn't the only one because His Majesty seemed to be with his thoughts somewhere else, too.

Though they talked and discussed things, nothing really stuck in his head and his notes became a mess.

After three hours everyone seemed to have reached their limit of patience and they all agreed to meet next week.

Ignis sighed and frowned when he looked at the disaster his notes were.

While everyone else left the room he decided to stay and rewrite everything because with Iris in his apartment, he wouldn't find the time nor space to properly focus and it would be unfair and impolite to ignore a guest.

When a painful pounding filled his head and made it hard to focus, he decided to go back, have some coffee and cook together with Iris.

The next day Gladio and the others would finally return and Clarus would take care of his ex wife and Ignis hoped that after that, things would finally return to normal. It would take some time, he was aware of that, and Iris would need her brother and father and he would have to forego Gladio for a while longer.

Heaving a sigh, Ignis rubbed the spot between his eyes, as if to make the pain go away and closed his notebook.

He would handle what was about to come when it happened.

As he packed his things Ignis heard the voice he had been missing in his head: “You promised to not overwork yourself, Iggy,” and it made him smile.

However, the voice wasn't his mind playing tricks on him but actually reality and it took him a moment to realize that. 

He looked up from the table and spotted Gladio standing at the closed door, wearing his sportswear as if he had never had left and just returned from another sparing lesson with Noctis.

But he looked a bit thinner and his skin was more tan then three weeks ago.

He was so busy with studying his boyfriend that it took several seconds before he realized this was real and dropped his things on the table with a loud thud. 

“Gladio,” Ignis whispered but couldn't move because his legs wouldn't cooperate. His heart filled his body with the terribly missed warmth when Gladio moved instead and came closer with hurried steps. 

Finally he saw all of Gladio when he came around the table and walked straight towards Ignis. Finally, his own body came back to life and he forgot where he was. All he wanted was to touch his boyfriend, kiss him, feel his skin and hear his voice.

His arms slung around the strong shoulders, the strong, familiar hands framed his face, missed fingers entwined into his hair and soft lips claimed his into a deep kiss.

Ignis opened his mouth without hesitation, drinking Gladio in and humming when their tongues touched and hands explored the little bit of exposed skin.

How long they kissed Ignis didn't know but if it weren't for the need of air, he would have kissed Gladio forever.

Their lips parted but their hands did not and he could feel Gladio nuzzling against his neck, breathing Ignis’ smell in just like he did in return. 

“I've missed you,” Gladio's low voice spoke against his skin. “I arrived and heard people talking about a meeting and came straight here.”

Part of his mind reminded Ignis to tell Gladio about his mother, about his sister who had stayed with him for the past days.

There was so much Ignis needed to share about what happened, but feeling Gladio so close, smelling and tasting him, caused all coherent thoughts to become secondary.

Even being there, inside the council room, should have been enough to awake his reason and take their intimacy to another more private place. Though nothing of that happened and it was like a basic instinct took over his body and forced Ignis to follow what felt right and what he needed. 

“You're lucky no one is here because otherwise I wouldn't have allowed such a kiss,” Ignis said as if it would help him to become a reasonable human being again.

Gladio laughed, a laugh that sounded like he wasn't just showing his amusement but also letting a lot of tension out, as if he too, just realized he was back home, safe. 

“Just tell me you missed me.”

Ignis leaned back to look into Gladio's eyes with a warm smile, his fingers running down his face that was a bit older than three weeks ago. He must have seen so many things, horrible and beautiful, and Ignis wanted to hear all of it.   
“I missed you,” he whispered and made Gladio smile so hard that his eyes almost closed entirely. 

His strong arms wrapped around Ignis’ body, lifting him up from the ground so that he had no choice but to wrap his legs around his middle, suddenly aware of their proximity.

Never would he have allowed such a position in a place like this, not Ignis Scientia, the advisor of Prince Noctis who was known to be smart, mannered, and always proper.

Now he was just Ignis Scientia, crazy in love with the charming Gladiolus Amicitia and reminded of the lonely nights with nothing more but a pillow, hoodie, and his hand. 

They were finally over. 

He felt Gladio moving and then the hard surface of the polished marble table under his ass.

One of his hands let go of Gladio's neck to hold himself up and not slip down while Gladio claimed his place between Ignis’ legs - and Ignis willingly welcomed his boyfriend. By doing all of that, his papers flew all across the table and some landed on the ground, but he didn't care.

He held the back of Gladio's head, feeling for his hair, moaning quietly as Gladio's lips tried to devour Ignis, starting at his neck and his large hands ran down his back and squeezed Ignis’ buttocks. 

“Gladio,” Ignis whined, his mouth already dry by how hard he was breathing. 

“Too much?” Gladio asked and Ignis was astonished by how much willpower Gladio possessed to stop what he was doing.

It wasn't too much, it was actually too little and Ignis felt like he was going to come any second by nothing more than Gladio's lips spoiling him. 

“No… I'm just close… it's been a while.”

“What, you didn't jerk off and thought of me?” Gladio asked teasingly. 

“Do you really need an answer?” Ignis asked, his ears and cheeks reddening. 

“I can guess but I'll never know for sure until you tell me. Because I've been thinking about you, and missed you terribly but I had no private moments at all… sharing a tent with my father and the Marshall's eyes constantly on me.”

“Are you trying to turn me off? Because you will succeed if you keep on talking about the Marshall or your father,” Ignis said with shaking hands and a painful hard on inside his pants. 

“Will I?” Gladio asked low and seductive, his hands squeezing Ignis’ ass again and bringing their bodies together, causing them both to moan.

Ignis pulled Gladio back down into a kiss and felt his glasses slip from his nose. He broke the kiss to take them off and faced a surprised shield when he wanted to continue their kiss. 

“You're serious about doing it here,” Gladio didn't question him but stated it as a fact. 

“All meetings are over and everyone is home and… and I have tissues in my briefcase since I'm not exactly prepared for any sort of public… sex.”

Gladio still seemed to be surprised but opened the briefcase and took out the package of tissues. 

“What happened to my Ignis?”

“Nothing… it's just that I… I've really missed you and I…” Ignis looked down to collect himself because it was still so difficult for him to say the words Gladio so freely spoke for the both of them.

He looked back up and noticed how Gladio carefully watched him, so close, so alive and Ignis whispered: “I love you.”

He could hear how Gladio inhaled sharply, feel how his cock twitched against Ignis’ and it was like he had turned on a switch inside Gladio's mind or heart.

His mouth was back on Ignis’ while his hands worked the fly of Ignis’ pants open, dragging Ignis’ consciousness deeper and deeper into eternal bliss that could only be shared between two lovers.

Ignis copied Gladio's doing and gave his boyfriend the same friction in return, never breaking the kiss. 

Becoming impatient, Ignis eventually slipped his hand inside Gladio's sweatpants and the reaction he caused pleased him. He was shaking and stopped everything he was doing to focus on moving his hips into Ignis’ tight grip. Wordlessly and back to his senses, Gladio gave Ignis the same feeling in return, both reaching their limit faster than anticipated. It was Gladio who reached out for the tissues, having difficulties opening the package, and grabbed a handful to catch their sperm when they came together. 

Labored breathing fell on their necks from the other’s mouth, cooling their sweaty and hot skin as they both slowly calmed down.

Soon Ignis felt the small kisses covering his neck and face. He giggled but didn't let go Gladio's sweaty hair and just bathed in the happiness he felt because the person he loved was finally back where he belonged: in his arms.   
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mah babies are reunited!!!


	17. Public

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Homophobia

“Stop laughing,” Ignis hissed when Gladio wouldn't stop giggling after they left the council room and walked together to his apartment.

They cleaned up after themselves and while Ignis packed his things, he still found traces of sperm on the floor and his notes. He voiced his dislike and Gladio found it hilarious, while putting all his effort into cleaning to calm Ignis down.

“What's so bad about being a bit adventurous?” Gladio asked when they were inside the elevator. “And it wasn't like I was the only one all needy and clingy.”

Ignis cleared his throat and did his best to stop the blush from creeping over his face again.

Gladio wasn't wrong.

Ignis didn't regret their reconciliation but he always believed he wouldn't have sex in a public place.

“You've been gone for three weeks and I'm a human being who has his needs,” Ignis defended himself and Gladio chuckled his hand reaching out for Ignis’ to squeeze it in a calming way.

“You don't need to explain yourself, Ignis. It's alright.”

Not a single doubt bloomed in his chaotic thoughts and feelings of disbelief and happiness. He believed Gladio's words as if they were what he needed to hear for the past couple of days.

That everything was and would be alright.

His eyes wandered from their entwined fingers to Gladio's face which was shining with happiness and love, as if he didn't know what happened or who was there.

Oh Gods, Gladio still didn't know, right?

“I can stay the night with you. My father told me to do so and catch up with you and Noctis,” Gladio said his smile growing bigger.

“You don't know what happened?” Ignis question made Gladio's smile disappear while his eyebrows lifted in wonder.

“Did something happen to Noct?”

Ignis shook his head no and let go of his boyfriend's hand when the doors of the elevator opened.

“Noct is at best health but… your mother returned,” Ignis said slowly and watched Gladio's whole expression change from worry to a hurt and furious one.

He had seen Gladio angry and threaten other people - like their schoolmates who used to harass Ignis.

Yet, it was something different. Something more personal, a deep hidden wound, rage, he hadn't summoned for years. It didn't scare Ignis in the slightest but he wondered if he could give Gladio the support he needed to handle whatever his mother wanted.

“How's Iris?” Gladio asked his voice an octave lower than usual and filled with an unusual coldness.

“She was shaken but she's staying with me since your mother appeared. We made sure that the two of them wouldn't cross ways,” Ignis explained slowly so Gladio wouldn't miss a word he was saying.

“Good,” he said, his voice a bit warmer before it returned to its other tune: “And what does that witch want?”

Ignis shook his head no. He didn't have the slightest idea what she wanted and the King didn't share anything neither with him, or anyone so it seemed.

“I don't know, my apologies,” Ignis said as they stopped in front of his door and his eyes were fixed on his polished shoes. It wasn't like him to not know something but this was something entirely different than learning a strategy from one of the past battles.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong,” Gladio spoke softly but it still wasn't the softness he had so greedily accepted an hour ago.

Ignis nodded, opened his door and was greeted by the catchy music of Iris’ favorite TV show. At first it annoyed him to even listen to the opening song but soon he was sitting with Iris and Noctis, watching the show about some superhero owl - he didn't understand the concept but seeing Iris enjoy it was enough.

“I'm back!” he announced his return and both, Iris and Noctis stretched their necks and looked from the couch to the entrance.

“Gladdy!” she exclaimed and almost fell from the couch with how fast she wanted to be with her brother. Gladio knelt down, both arms open and squeezed his little sister tight when he caught her. Ignis watched her to look if she was crying or not but he couldn't see any trace of sadness, only utter happiness and relief that her family was back.

Noctis joined them too and fist bumped Gladio, letting a sigh out because he, too, had been waiting for his Shield’s return.

“Hey, good to see you two,” Gladio spoke and smiled at them both before he was entirely focused on his sister who leaned back, eyes wide and face unusual pale.

“Gladdy, have you heard it? Mom's here,” Iris said, her voice almost a whisper.

“Yes,” his voice was heavy and his hand reached out for his phone to check if he got a message from his father. “Dad knows too. He asks if it's okay to stay here for a bit longer.” His eyes wandered back up to Ignis who nodded without hesitation.

“Are you alright, Iris? You didn't talk to her, right?”

Iris shook her head, her little hands holding Gladio's arms, squeezing them hard to make sure her brother was truly here. “I've only seen her and then Jared brought me to Noctis. Though… she… she yelled at him for not letting me be with her because she's my mom… but… she… was just scary.” Her last words turned into an ugly sob before the tears fell again and Gladio cradled her in his arms, hiding all of her because he was big enough to do so.

“I'm here now, sssh,” he spoke while standing up and it was like his voice had magic powers because Iris calmed down as fast as he started crying. “We're back and we'll take care of her. You don't need to worry.”

Ignis watched the siblings reconnect and gave them the space they needed by making himself useful in the kitchen, Noctis following his advisor.

He blocked out the voices coming from the living room and started to boil water and prepare something to eat. The fact that Noctis volunteered to help him made it clear how important this moment between the siblings was. Though Ignis had to admit that he did not understand why Iris seemed to be scared of that woman, considering she must have no memory of her since she left Clarus when Iris had been a toddler.

Perhaps Gladio would tell him the whole story if he felt like it and Ignis would wait, still a bit surprised about how much he cared about Gladio's family. It was deeper than he was aware of but he couldn't figure out why. Sure he wanted to know everything about his boyfriend and the people he loved, but Ignis wasn't a person who liked to dig in someone's personal life.

Together with Noctis he set the table and Noctis was the one who let them know that dinner was ready, though Ignis wouldn't be upset if the siblings weren't hungry. However, they both entered the kitchen and Gladio looked at Ignis, his expression serious.

“Is it okay if my father comes here? He wants to talk to us but not at our home, since my mother knows where we live and he wants to avoid any uncomfortable situations.”

“Of course,” Ignis said and if sacrificing his privacy - for this evening or a couple of days more - meant he could help Gladio and his family, he would gladly do so.

“Thank you,” his boyfriend smiled in the way he did before he kissed Ignis.

Iris and Noctis ate and chatted about the movie they had been watching before, unlike Gladio who always ate dinner first, since he became especially hungry after exercising all day, and Ignis was certain that he had missed homemade food.

But the fact that Gladio did not touch his food told Ignis that his mother's return bothered him far more than Ignis could imagine or understand, though he wanted to. The knock against his front door announced Clarus’ presence and Ignis hurried to get the door and greet Gladio's father.

“Good evening, Ignis,” Clarus spoke and the tension left his face after he entered the apartment.

“Good evening, Sir. It's good to have you back, safe and sound.”

Clarus smiled, a rare thing he did, showing Ignis that not all of Gladio's smile was inherited by his mother.

“Thank you for your hospitality and also for taking care of my daughter when Gladiolus and I couldn't,” Clarus said and though his voice sounded soft, his face was not. Especially when he looked over to his son.

“I suppose you know that your mother returned.”

  
Gladio nodded and he breathed out through his nose, as if it helped make his anger disappear. “What does she want?”

“She said she wants to see her children,” Clarus answered and watched his son carefully.

“And you believe her?” Gladio asked and Clarus shook his head no.

“If she really wanted to see you two, she would have done so years ago. No, I'm certain she wants something else.”

Ignis walked back to the kitchen and noticed Iris and Noctis no longer glued to their phones but listening and watching father and son. He almost lectured them to not eavesdrop but it seemed like neither Clarus nor Gladio had planned to keep the conversation and its content a secret.

“Do you want to see her?” Clarus asked and looked from his son to his daughter who made herself smaller as she whispered a no.

“Me neither,” Gladio spoke after he watched his sister's reaction. “I want her far away from here because this is no longer her home nor her family.”

Clarus nodded slowly and smiled at Iris, a sign that she could come to him and finally greet her so missed father. The little girl followed his silent invitation and jumped off her chair to fall right into her father's arms.

“If you don't want to see her, then I'll make sure that won't happen. However, we also have to consider the bigger picture. It's not about us as a family alone but also about Regis and Noctis, and their safety is our priority, physically and emotionally.”

Ignis didn't know why he didn't think of that himself. Gladio's mother was not just his mother but a person who knew things and could cause a lot of damage if she shared secrets. She knew the Citadel and perhaps things about the King and surely a lot about Clarus. He didn't want to think about what she could share and even if all she'd shar ~~e~~ were lies, she was a former member of the Amicitia family and people could still believe her.

Though, would pleasing her stop her from doing any harm?

“She's the one who should feel ashamed of her behavior and not drag any of us into the mess she created. Bowing down, dad? That doesn't sound like something a shield would do,” Gladio spoke and the anger was replaced by disbelief.

“I'm not bowing down. All I'm trying to say is that there are consequences and Regis will support us no matter what we decide to do,” Clarus explained. “Now, I understand if you don't want to return home to avoid her but I want you two to think about it. I accept if your answer is still a no,” Clarus smiled at his daughter before he looked back at his son, who very well knew what his responsibility was.

Gladio looked from his father to his sister and then to Noctis, who seemed to be ready to face some sort of demon by the upset expression he wore. Ignis wasn't surprised because Noctis cared deeply about his friends and though he and Gladio had a rough start, and sometimes still disagreed, they shared a deep connection, as brothers and as the Shield and future King.

“I need to think about it,” Gladio said and Clarus nodded slowly, accepting his son's decision.

“Are we going home now?” Iris asked, her little arms tight around her father's neck.

“If you want to go home we can do that. Though don't be surprised when you see more guards than usual around our home,” Clarus spoke and Iris blinked confused.

Of course, why would a shield need guards, Ignis would have been confused as well, but he understood Clarus. Laila knew this place and she walked freely around, even up to the library, and could ignore the King's request if she felt like it. Or at least that was how Ignis thought about her since she returned out of nowhere and demanded impossible things from her ex husband and his King.

Humans were capable of many things, that was the only thing his parents taught him.

“I want to go home,” Iris spoke and hugged her father.

“Then we'll go,” he said soothingly and thanked Ignis again for his hospitality before they turned around.

“Let's meet tomorrow, okay?” Gladio asked them both, Ignis and Noctis, before he joined his family.

Though Ignis did look forward to finally spent a night in his boyfriend's arms he easily pushed his own needs aside and understood that this family needed time together now.  


* * *

 

Ignis heard Clarus yelling, something he only ever did to push the Kingsglaive or all the other guards during their training. He got to know the King's shield as calm and understanding, but as a shield Ignis was aware of the other part of his personality and he witnessed it eventually. That's why hearing his voice becoming loud at a rather unusual place and at an unusual time, alarmed him in a different way.

He was on his way to pick up Noctis and Gladio from their sparing when he heard Clarus before he saw him in front of the gates to the training hall, which was dusted around evening and only open for the Prince and his Shield to train and create an ever deeper bond.

It didn't need a genius to figure out why Clarus was there. He was protecting his son from the woman who, clearly, didn't know where her place was.

When he finally saw them - Clarus trying to calm himself down and Laila with a smug expression - she reminded him so much ~~of~~ the people from the town he was born.

“Gladio will decide if he wants to see you and when. Why is it so hard to respect that?” Clarus asked, his voice calmer but not less relaxed.

“He's a kid, Clarus,” Laila waved it off.

“He's eighteen, Laila. He's definitely not a kid.”

“So if your son is so grown up why are you protecting him? Or is it because Noctis is there too? It would be _so_ like you to put Regis and his son first instead of your own family.”

Ignis felt the need to go over there and slap that woman in her face for what she had just said. Clarus was a man of honor who put family and duty first and he was the one who raised two kids on his own while she decided to leave. Without much thinking, Ignis left the spot he was hiding in and approached the two of them, face indifferent but eyes probably giving away how upset he was.

Clarus noticed him immediately, since he was trained to watch their environment and notice right away seeing what others couldn't, in order to protect the King from possible danger.

He seemed too grateful for Ignis presence and he noticed why. The smugness Laila showed seconds ago disappeared and left was the sweetness and kindness only a woman could show, as if she didn't have any bad intentions.

Though Ignis was certain that that was far from the truth.

“Good evening Sir, Ma’am,” he greeted them and gave Clarus a look that conveyed that he'd take care of Gladio and Noctis.

He opened the door slowly, like he usually did, closed it properly and turned around to face the training hall to find Noctis and Gladio sitting in the farthest corner, chatting, amused, about something. The wooden weapons were laying in front of their feet and usually Ignis would sigh about that but this time he took it as a sign that they didn't know what was happening behind the door.

“Hey Specs,” Noctis grinned, his hair sweaty and clinging to his forehead, telling the advisor that he had a good training with his shield.

“Highness, Gladio, I'm sorry to interrupt your amusing conversation but we have to leave and use the other door,” which meant it would take twice as long to get back ~~to~~ the Prince to his place and change his schedule. He was done with his duty but Ignis planned to spend some quality time with Gladio since they hadn't got the chance to since he returned two days before.

“Huh? Why?” Gladio asked and stood up to collect the weapons and bring them back to the cabinet.

“Your father and mother are outside and she's trying to force her way inside to see you,” Ignis explained and watched Gladio, how his relaxed muscles suddenly strained and his movements turned from smooth to rigid. But he didn't say anything and Ignis felt Noctis approaching his side, facial expression more confused than anything because it wasn't like Gladio to not come back with something after hearing such news.

“Fine,” Gladio breathed eventually and closed the cabinet, his muscles visibly moving since he was wearing a tank top.

“I'll go meet her and get this over with.”

“What?” Noctis exclaimed but Ignis understood Gladio's decision, something the Prince couldn't yet because he was too young. “It's not like you to give in.”

“I'm not giving in. But my father is right, this isn't just about us. It's about you and your father as well. If my cooperation means she'll leave us alone, I'll do it.”

Ignis doubted that Laila would be pleased with only that and he doubted even more that her kids were the reason she came here in the first place. But he didn't voice his thoughts nor did he doubt his boyfriend. If Gladio thought this was the right thing to do, Ignis would support him no matter what the outcome was. Though he felt for Gladio because he put his duty and oath first, even if what he had to do would hurt him emotionally.

“Let's leave, Highness,” Ignis said and Noctis gave him a look of disbelief but eventually agreed.

He packed his things and Ignis used the moment to exchange a look with Gladio, to make sure he was okay, to show his support and to silently agree that they would meet later.

It took them longer to reach the car and even more to arrive at Noctis’ apartment since the traffic was horrible.

His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles became white, he clenched his jaw and his eyes were staring forward but not noticing the change of lights. Ignis wasn't exactly nervous or worried but he simply wanted to be at Gladio's side when all these old wounds would tear and bleed. He wanted to hold him in the same way Gladio did when Ignis broke because of his parents.

His mind was so focused on that, that Ignis didn't notice how the young Prince was starting at him.

“Don't worry about Gladio. He'll be fine,” Noctis said and Ignis felt panic rise inside him before he swallowed it down.

No, just because he was worried it wouldn't give away the truth of their relationship. He was worried about many other people too and everyone knew that he and Gladio were friends, good friends, the sword and shield of the future king.

“I hope so,” Ignis said and felt much better. It wasn't like he confessed the secret but it was good to talk about their friend and share their concern about him.

“I'm sure. His father is with him and it's not like Gladio gives a damn about that woman. She already ruined everything she had,” Noctis said and typed something on his phone.

Ignis wished it could be so easy but he knew it wasn't. Noctis had a loving father who put his son's happiness first and did his best to spend as much time with him as possible. It was only logical for the Prince to not see nor understand certain problematic things that existed between a child and a parent who shared no deep bond or a family like connection to start with.

“I hope you're right. But it's still different when you eventually meet the person that caused you a lot of pain,” Ignis shared and drove into the parking lot of Noctis’ apartment.

Noctis nodded slowly and then opened the door: “I'll call Gladio later to be sure.”

Ignis smiled and didn't mention the blush on Noctis’ cheeks or chuckled about his response. He knew him and how hard it was for Noctis to show his emotions because it wasn't ‘cool’.

He waited until he saw the lights in Noctis’ apartment going on and then drove back to the Citadel. When Ignis arrived - and probably broke a rule or two for driving too fast - he pulled out his phone and texted Gladio. The answer came when he was already inside the elevator and read that Gladio was, actually, in his apartment waiting for him.

He unlocked the door, slipped out of his shoes and hurried inside the living room, setting his phone and keys on the surface of the chest of drawers to his left. But Gladio wasn't on the couch, he was sitting in the kitchen, a cup of tea in front of him as he typed on his phone.

He slowly walked into the kitchen, watching the back of Gladio's head and expecting to see an expression of sadness or anger when it finally came into his view. But all he could see was a soft smile as Gladio typed away and Ignis read Noctis name on the phone.

Of course, Noctis felt more comfortable with texting instead of calling.

“Prince Charmless is worried about me. What a time to be alive,” Gladio chuckled and finally looked at Ignis, amber eyes not shining with the usual warmth but also not filled with coldness.

“We're all worried about you and your family,” Ignis said and ran his hand through Gladio's soft hair. “But it made me very proud how you put your duty first.”

Gladio smiled at him, wide and honest as he set his phone down and embraced Ignis in his arms, nuzzling into his chest and seeking the comfort Ignis thought he would need still.

“Are you alright though?”

“Yeah,” Gladio confirmed calmly. “I'm not gonna lie… it's not easy and I'm not sure about how I feel. But I know that I don't want nor need her back in my life.”

Ignis nodded slowly and let his fingers run through the Shield’s hair still, while the other hand rested on Gladio's shoulder.

“How are your sister and your father doing? He was… very upset when I arrived.”

Gladio sighed but didn't pull away, remaining where he was against Ignis’ chest, holding him gently.

“Iris is doing better. She doesn't want to meet her at all so I said I would and put an end to this. My father however… he's sort of a mess and I get why.”

Ignis didn't know and he still needed to process the image of the man who had the most self control ever and who followed his duty with an accuracy and pride Ignis wished to reach one day, just like Gladio.

“It must have been a painful reminder... how upset your father was today,” Ignis agreed but didn't ask for more.

He decided, since Laila returned, that he would wait for Gladio and let him set the pace in opening up or not. But Gladio, as open as he could be and with his unconditional trust in Ignis, didn't make him wait.

“I'll tell you what happened. If you want to know,” Gladio teased, knowing how Ignis loved to learn things.

“I guess if you're able to joke you're not feeling as bad as I thought,” he said with a fake irritation, tugging at Gladio's ear.

The Shield laughed, let go of Ignis and stood up.

“What do you think about cooking dinner together and then I'll tell you? Because I'm starving and I've missed your cooking,” Gladio admitted with a blush which he tried to hide through a grin.

Ignis agreed with a nod and together they started to prepare dinner.

Gladio took care of the steak and Ignis focused on the salad. It wasn't easy for Ignis, at the beginning, to let Gladio cook with him - since he took much pride in his cooking skills - but Gladio was eager to learn and turned out to become a decent cook, while listening to the story of Gladio's mother.

“My mother was very young when she and my father met and I think she never really understood what it meant to be with someone like my father, the Shield of the King. They were… in love and married and soon I was born. I honestly can't remember if she ever took care of me or if it always had been Jared and my father… but I remember that she never cared about Iris. She gave birth to my sister and I have been at her side ever since. My mother just wasn't there and I never understood why nor where she had been. I'm older now and know what happened.”

Ignis continued listening while he placed the bowl with salad on the table and took out two plates and a fork and knife for each of them. Gladio put the steak into the hot pain and his expression remained unreadable, though Ignis expected to see something.

“She cared more about the status than anything else. I'm not sure if she loved my father but she surely loved the benefits of being with the Shield. Money, pretty dresses, fancy food, parties, and the attention. But she also had other needs money can't buy and only my father could give. So she… got it from someone else.”

Ignis remembered the things Noctis told him and how he wasn't sure if Laila had always been faithful to Clarus. Now Ignis had the affirmation of his thoughts and he could only imagine how much damage she must have done to Gladio's family but also to the King.

“She started an affair before Iris was born and nothing gets unnoticed by the many eyes of the crown. So my father found out and they started to fight a lot. Iris is the result of their failed try at reconciliation. After that things just became worse,” Gladio said and his expression changed into a painful one as the memories returned.

Clearly, as an eight year old Gladio understood far more than expected and had clear memories of that time and as he endured them inside his head, Ignis took care of the steak and took the pan to the table to place one piece on each plate. He turned the power off and placed the pan inside the oven while Gladio leaned against the counter and just breathed.

Ignis felt uncertain and slightly uncomfortable since it was the first time that Gladio wasn't his cheerful self, since he was dealing with old, painful memories and feelings.

He didn't know if he should hug him, kiss him, say something or remain silently at his side until he felt ready to leave his mind. It was so much easier to comfort the Prince but so much harder to comfort the person he loved the most because he didn't want to hurt Gladio.

Though, when he recalled the moments before they started to prepare dinner and how Gladio reached out for him. Ignis followed his instinct and moved closer, placing his hand on Gladio's arms which he had crossed over his chest. His eyes were watching Gladio's face, making contact when his unusual cold amber eyes found his and then turned soft and warm. His uncertainty left his body when Gladio smiled and finally left the dark place of his past.

“Sorry, I was sort of lost. I've never spoken about what happened with anyone besides my dad. And the training was… hard and I looked forward to come back and just be with you and Noctis and catch up. Guess we'll have to wait ‘til the witch is gone.”

Ignis didn't want to smile but Gladio did and it was infectious.

“If it's too much we'll continue another time,” Ignis suggested.

“No, it's fine. In fact, I plan to meet her tomorrow and put and end to this. And I… was wondering if you'd come with me as my mental support.”

Ignis blinked and needed a moment to comprehend what Gladio was asking him to be. It was the role he usually took by teaching and helping Ignis to become less stiff and more selfish. It had been like that for most of the time of their relationship and feeling like he could take this role in their relationship made Ignis happy and feeling like they were equal.

“Of course. It will be an honor.”

Gladio chuckled and kissed Ignis’ forehead. “You say it like it's your duty.”

“It's my duty as your boyfriend and something I want to do… if you let me,” Ignis added with hesitation.

Gladio smiled and took Ignis’ hand to guide them both to the table to eat. They sat down, took their cutlery and started to eat while Gladio continued.

“After Iris was born I made it my responsibility to take care of her because she shouldn't go through the same things I did. She shouldn't feel ignored or not loved, like my mother made me feel.” Gladio huffed before he continued with a shrug of his shoulders. “But she wasn't around much to start with and while my father felt miserable and took care of two kids alone, she couldn't care less. All she cared about was money, having fun with others, and spread lies. So my dad decided that he wanted to divorce and through that my mother lost every privilege that came with being a member of the crown.”

Ignis nodded and looked at his half eaten meal while he combined everything together. Right from the moment he heard about her return and that the reason were her kids, he had doubts, but he didn't want to question a person he knew nothing about. Now, though, he was more than sure that Gladio and Iris weren't the reason.

“Iris suffered at the beginning a lot. She cried, wouldn't eat, not until my mother left. When she became older and asked about her, I told her the truth… not in detail but enough for her to understand. I think she never really believed it until we met her by chance. We went shopping and she was there too with some guy. Iris noticed her, and she knew her face by old pictures I've shown her and because we do look alike. But… that cow ignored us, even though she saw us. I've never seen Iris more devastated then on that day.”

“That explains why she was so scared of her,” Ignis spoke, knowing what the ignorance of a parent caused. “Her family is sacred to her and knowing what Laila did and is able to do, scared her more than anything. Not to mention the rejection she must have suffered through while being hopeful and, perhaps, excited to see her mum.”

“Iris doesn't need to be scared because nothing will happen. As I said, I'm going to meet her tomorrow, make my point clear and then she'll have to leave or someone will make her leave,” Gladio said with spite and shoved another piece of the steak into his mouth.

“I guess you want me with you so I'll stop you from doing something stupid?” Ignis said, light amusement filling his voice.

“You could say that,” Gladio confirmed with a small smile as he emptied his plate and looked at Ignis for some seconds before he said: “Having you around always makes me calm and happy and reminds me of what is important.”

It was a different kind of confession but still one that made Ignis happy too and it something he could easily understand.

Because he felt the same way.  


* * *

 

They talked till midnight about the past weeks and what both of them had been through.

Gladio started with his experience on the real battlefield and the demons he fought against and the fear he felt whenever he heard one of the demons growl, scream, or walk pass the havens.

But he also shared the beauty of the dawn and stars he was allowed to gaze at and shared his wish to watch them together with Ignis one day - since he was a pro when it came to camping and surviving in the wilderness. Ignis held him while listening, giving his boyfriend the comfort he needed so badly and then shared his adventure during Noctis’ moving.

All of that made Gladio laugh and relax in his arms before they both fell asleep.

Ignis left his apartment first by kissing the sleeping Shield goodbye saying that he had to check on the Prince. Gladio kissed him back, still trying to keep Ignis at his side but failing because the advisor could be stubborn and strong too.

They promised to text each other and meet in the afternoon, when Gladio would meet his mother.

Ignis feared that moment more than he was ready to admit and time seemed to be his enemy because it went by so fast that - when he was done cleaning Noctis’ place and cooking something decent for him - afternoon approached and he was standing in front of Gladio's home.

He pressed his ear against the wooden door, trying to figure out if Laila was already there but he couldn't hear a thing.

Iris was out with her father and Jared was probably running errands, since Gladio said he wanted to face her alone. He knocked against the door and heard Gladio's steps fast approaching before their eyes met and Ignis felt the tension before he could see it all over Gladio's face.

“Is she already here?” Ignis asked and walked inside, slow and careful as he looked around.

There was no one else but the two of them.

“No. But I'm already pissed off and I haven't even seen her.”

Ignis smiled painfully and noticed the clenched fist, which Gladio tried to stop from shaking.

He set his briefcase down on the floor against the wall and approached his boyfriend to take his hands into his. He felt proud of himself when that simple touch helped to calm Gladio down - and he felt a thrill running through his body because they rarely behaved like the couple they were at Gladio's place.

“You know that this is pointless, right? Me meeting her and telling her what I think. She won't care,” Gladio admitted with a sigh.

“I know. She won't care… and yet it is important for you to draw a clear line and let her hear it,” Ignis agreed.

“Is that what you did? When you went to see your parents for the last time?”

“Yes. It helped, although it wasn't easy to face their ignorance because… I had hope. I'm not sure what I hoped for but even though nothing changed, it helped me to put an end to it.”

Gladio nodded silently.

“And remember who told me that it is important to call people out?” Ignis asked, smiling because those memories were warm and part or the roots of their friendship.

Gladio smiled back, his whole body free from the tension.

“Sounds like something I'd say,” Gladio chuckled.

“And it's something you can do. And I'll be waiting in your room and come out when it's done or when you need me.”

A sigh left Gladio's mouth and his hands squeezed Ignis’ before he leaned down for a kiss. It was short but filled with love and gratitude that they felt for each other and just when Ignis was about to move he heard the door being opened and felt Gladio's hand on his arm, dragging him behind Gladio's broad back and shielding him from Laila, who entered the residence as if it was her own.

Ignis watched her carefully while Gladio's body tensed once more.

“Oh, you have company. I thought it would only be you and me. Mother and son reconnecting,” she said sweetly and it caused Ignis’ stomach to twist, making him feel sick.

Yes, this woman was no different than his parents but she was a much better actress.

“I've met you before, didn't I?” she smiled at Ignis, trying to charm him but Ignis didn't let that manipulate him, nor did Gladio.

He straightened shielding Ignis more and appearing taller than he was. Their difference in height was one of the things Ignis liked most but he never noticed that Gladio probably had grown bigger. But this was not about Ignis’ preference in the male body. Right now he was in a dilemma because he wasn't supposed to face her and leaving was not an option. So he placed his hand on Gladio's back, trying to communicate without saying anything and somehow Gladio understood when he looked over his shoulder.

“I'm Ignis,” he said but didn't stretch out his hand nor bowed down how he usually did.

“Ignis, you say,” Laila spoke and thought for a while trying to recall his name but Ignis doubted she knew who he was. “Doesn't sound familiar but you must be working here. Perhaps a servant by the way you look?”

Ignis was used to that comparison since he did look like one with his white button down, black vest and black pants. Though he didn't mind her words nor cared about the way she view him, that wasn't the case for Gladio. His nostrils widened like an angry Garula and his eyes started to burn as he said with a sharp, low voice.

“He's not a servant. He's the advisor of the Prince and you should treat him with respect.”

Laila raised her eyebrows and looked from her son back to Ignis. The spark in her eyes wasn't something Ignis liked but before she could say more Gladio spoke, aching to get it over with.

“However, I promised to meet with you and here we are. What do you want?”

Laila looked back at her son, crossing her arms over her chest and smiling, all sweetness gone and replaced by a smug expression.

“I wanted to meet my children.”

“Bullshit. If you cared about me or Iris you wouldn't have gone and ignored us for the past ten years,” Gladio said with spite.

“Don't be so resentful, Gladiolus.”

“I'm not resentful, you just can't accept the truth. So I ask you again, what do you want? And stop pretending that you care about us.”

Laila said nothing at first but her sweet expression crumbled slowly and when she rolled her eyes Ignis knew the act was over. He looked back to Gladio, that was trying his best not lose control and explode, but he wouldn't blame him if he couldn't.

“You sound like your father, putting all the blame on me as if what happened was my fault alone. Do you really think he wasn't selfish? Putting his family second and the King first?” Laila asked coldly.

“It's our duty, it fills us with pride to protect the King and ultimately the people of Insomnia and it's the job we get paid for. But you don't understand that nor are you able to value what we do,” Gladio almost barked but he held back while his hands shook and the veins on his neck became slightly visible.

“You mean being the lapdog of the King is something to be proud of?” Laila chuckled, her eyes cold and as her face.

Ignis narrowed his eyes and stepped closer to Gladio's side, causing her attention to move towards him.

“Shouldn't your friend leave? I doubt you want others to hear the truth, right?” she said with a confidence that set even Ignis’ anger aflame.

“The truth is that you're an awful human being and have no right to be here. What is it? Money? Aren't you able to find someone who can provide for you?”

Laila clicked her tongue and then shrugged.

“As another lapdog you and your father have enough money, right? And if you want me to keep my mouth shut about what happened here, it would be smart to pay me.”

“You wish. You have nothing because nothing ever happened apart from you being a horrible mother,” Gladio huffed, a little smirk on his face to show his own confidence.

“What does a boy like you know? I'm sure your father didn't tell you about how it was Regis’ fault his wife died. Or how your father missed your birth because Regis needed him? I'm sure he didn't tell you that. Which isn't surprising since you're becoming just like him. A little lapdog who will abandon his wife and kids because-”

“Stop calling him a lapdog, you phony!” Ignis snapped when he was unable to contain his anger.

Hearing her talking about her son as if he was an idiot and not her own flesh and blood, how she insulted their duty and the person he loved the most, was too much even for him. He could feel Gladio staring at him - probably surprised by Ignis’ outburst as much as Ignis himself - and he noticed how his words seemed to affect Laila in a way that caused her smile to disappear.

Which made his mouth running because he had enough of all these so called parents who thought they could treat their kids like dirt. But this was not just about that.

This woman attacked his family.

“This has nothing to do with you,” her voice was sharp, all its melody gone, now throwing spite at him.

It didn't do anything to Ignis.

“Indeed it does. You're attacking my family, the people I love, and I won't let you do it.”

“Family?” Laila laughed. “A refugee like you will never be part of this family. Didn't you know? You're nothing but tools for the crown.”

“Shut your mouth, how dare you talk to him like that. He's the smartest, most loyal, and most selfless person I know. He took care of my sister even though he didn't have to. Unlike you piece of shit who ran away to have one affair after the other!” Gladio exploded and Laila took a step backwards but not Ignis.

He wouldn't become loud and insult people when calling them out, but he wasn't Gladio and understood that every person had their own way of doing it.

Besides, he would forgive Gladio for his words - even though he secretly loved his dirty mouth at the right time - because hearing what Gladio admired about him and all the things he valued - and sometimes complained about - made the love he felt for him overflow inside his body.

“Come on, Gladio. He's a refugee. I've met people like him all over the city. Dirty little liars is what they are and -”

“He's the person I love!”

Gladio's voice shot through his ears like the sharpness of the cold wind. He understood their meaning more than anyone and he expected for panic to rise or for his his stomach to feel sick because their secret was out to someone who could ruin everything.

But none of that happened.

On the contrary, watching Laila’s reaction, set a warning feeling alive but also a weird sense of relief he didn't expect to feel. If there ever was a secret she knew it would have been this one and Ignis did not regret it. But Gladio apparently did because when he looked up and saw his boyfriend's face turning pale and swallowing around a lump in his throat, Ignis knew that Gladio realized what he had just confessed.

Ignis had seen Gladio like this before, when he thought their relationship was over. This time however it seemed to be more raw, deeper, more painful. So he placed his hand on Gladio's arm, dragged him out of his thoughts and smiled to show that he was not upset or disappointed.

Instead Ignis showed Gladio how proud he was and how much he loved him in return, not with words but through his eyes and smile. Eventually Gladio did relax by letting out the breath he had been holding, and smiled too.

As Gladio bathed in his relief and probably different sort of happiness because he could say those things in public, Ignis noticed Laila moving and saw her holding something in her hands, face twisted with disgust, and her voice was utterly furious.

“You dirty refugee try to turn my son into a faggot?”

Ignis saw her throwing the vase made out of glass and the next thing he saw was red liquid sinking into the sleeves of his white shirt.  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the angst! Hope you enjoye the chapter an thanks for your comments. Hope to hear from you guys! The next chapter is almost done.


	18. Fragile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just a short message - this chapter is mainly from Gladio's POV.

  
  
Ignis heard Gladio's voice, filled with panic and concern, that went straight into his heart and shook his core.

Then he heard Laila yelling, but the words were inaudible, just like Gladio's.

He was sure that he heard him saying his name repeatedly and he could feel his warm hands on his right arm and around his middle.

However, he couldn't move nor speak because something was numbing his voice and body. It was cold, sharp, a pain he hadn't felt before coming from his left arm and from his shoulder, and he felt something running down his arm, liquid sinking into his shirt and coloring the pure white into a warning red.

He tried to speak, to move, but noises of pain were the only things his voice was able to create. It took all his strength, making him collapse against Gladio's body.

And everything became a blur from then on.

His senses told him that someone lifted him up, he heard new voices and saw blurry black figures running past him and a woman yelling again and again.

Then there was silence before he noticed other things.

He heard steps, felt his body swinging in Gladio's arms as his breath left heavily his mouth and his voice spoke Ignis’ name with so much vulnerability that Ignis had enough energy to think that he should do something to calm Gladio down.

But he was no longer in control of his body.

The pain was, and slowly it took over his consciousness and everything turned black.  
  


* * *

 

Gladio was so deep in his rage against his mother that he didn't see it coming.

It was his job to see what others couldn't, to react and protect before anyone else could. He had learned to read people and the potential danger they could be, but he didn't think his mother was capable of violence. She could yell, yes, but she never ever threw anything or hurt anyone physically.

He was so blinded by his anger and pain that he lost control and spilled their secret, in order to protect Ignis and make clear what this man meant to him. 

After he realized what he had done, a different kind of fear took over his body and mind and that was to lose the man he loved through his confession.

But Ignis, his amazing and beautiful boyfriend, only smiled and took all of his worries and fears away. 

Gladio felt so relieved that this little mistake didn't mean it was over between them, and that Ignis understood why it slipped out through his lips. He was so focused on them that he only realized what happened when it was too late.  
He heard his mother yelling an insult, he saw her throwing the vase made out of glass - a thin, easily breakable vase - at them, and he had no idea how strong that woman could physically be.

It happened so fast, it came out of nowhere and the next thing he saw was Ignis, his smaller body trying to shield his own with the little muscles he had. It wasn't enough, obviously it wasn't, and that thought became painfully clear when he saw the shattered glass reflecting the lights from the ceiling, parts of it worming their way through Ignis’ shirt and deeper. 

He heard Ignis’ sharp inhale, heard the painful noises he made, and instinctively Gladio's hands held his beloved man, watching white fabric turn into an alarming red color, filling his mind with panic, terror, and making him feel cold from head to toe. 

“Ignis!” Gladio said with panic, his arms and hands shaking when Ignis didn't respond but merely slumped against his body as the blood kept running, the pieces shining out of his arm and shoulder.

“Ignis, no! Fuck!”

“Serves him right!” Laila yelled and when Gladio looked up he saw a twisted smile and maniac eyes looking at them. This woman was crazy and Gladio had underestimated how beyond her mind she actually was. 

Gladio wanted to yell at her, threaten her that he would kill her because he felt like he could, but no word left his mouth. She wasn't worth it, his chaotic and panic filled mind found enough reason to not go full berserk. 

“Guards!” Gladio bellowed and immediately a handful of black dressed guards filled the room and surrounded the woman who lost her mad smile.

“Take her out of here, she needs to be arrested for attacking the advisor of the Prince.”

It was like Laila didn't understand what she did or why the guards tried to capture her. All she did was scream at them not to touch her and arrest the refugee.

Obviously they didn't listen and Gladio didn't watch how they tried to hold the struggling woman.

His priority was to get Ignis right to the infirmary of the Citadel.

Carefully he lifted Ignis up to carry him bridestyle pressing his uninjured side against his body, ignoring the smell of iron or the wet, warm feeling of the blood on his hands, running down his arm. All he cared about was getting Ignis, as fast as possible, to the infirmary.

“Ignis, hang in there,” he spoke, his breathing hard, his hands squeezing the suddenly so small body as if he was scared it could break any minute. “We're all most there, Iggy, okay?”

Gladio felt vulnerable, scared, powerless, when he looked at Ignis and noticed his eyes moving, as if he heard him and was trying to react.

He did his best to keep Ignis conscious but when his eyes closed Gladio almost sobbed. 

“Fuck! Ignis, please…” he had never heard his own voice as broken and scared as in that moment.

He walked faster, and though it wasn't that far away from their home, it felt like an eternity when he finally arrived and kicked the door open. 

It was like a small hospital, with nurses and doctors specifically working for the crown and Gladio knew them all since he had been there many times. But their shocked faces told him that they hadn't seen such a view in a while.

As the nurses approached him, two pushing a bed and one asking Gladio questions, he answered them as best as he could but didn't remember what he said. All he could focus on was Ignis, how they took his limp body from him, lay him on a bed - which turned red within seconds - and then left with him, leaving Gladio alone. 

The feeling of uselessness filled his soul and his shaking hands felt cold and weak.

Logically he knew he could only wait and that he would survive, but there had been so much blood and Ignis had felt so small and so weak in his arms. So much that he was scared Ignis would break if he squeezed him too hard or that he would disappear.

He slumped down on one of the many chairs lined up against the wall, cursing Ignis for doing something so stupid and selfless and then being even more upset about how selfless Ignis actually was. He knew that Ignis cared little about himself but he never, until today, realized how selfless he was. 

‘You fucking idiot’, Gladio thought and felt tears pickling in his eyes. 

“Gladiolus!” 

Gladio looked up and saw Cor hurrying towards him but his pace became slower when Gladio stood up. Cor's blue eyes wandered down his body, shock filling his usually unreadable face.

At first Gladio was confused about the Marshall's reaction until he looked down his body and saw his shirt soaked in blood and so were his hands when he lifted them. Within seconds Gladio felt dizzy, not the good kind, and all of his blood left his face and he became pale.

He hadn't realized how bad Ignis was bleeding and he hadn't noticed how much of it drowned into his own skin and clothes. Guilt replaced his fear and worry because if he hadn't asked Ignis to stay with him, to support him, none of that would have happened. 

‘It's all my fault’, Gladio thought the only clear thought his messed up mind could come up with and if it weren't for Cor, Gladio would have gotten lost much deeper in his thoughts. 

“Hey, calm down,” Cor said and his hands, still and strong, rested on Gladio's shoulders, as if they had magic powers and cleared his mind.

“Are you hurt?”

“No,” Gladio managed to say after a deep breath. “I'm not… it's not my blood.” 

He was still shaken to his core, trying to bring some order into his brain and feelings. At the same time Gladio tried to be strong and collected, like a shield should, no matter what horrendous things they faced, especially in front of Cor and his father who were his mentors and the people he looked up to. 

“It's… Ignis. He… He got hurt by my mother and I couldn't protect him. Instead he… what Shield gets protected?”

Cor sighed and let go of Gladio's shoulders. 

“It's not your fault, Gladiolus. Please, sit down. Regis, Clarus and Ronan will be here soon.”

Gladio nodded and followed Cor's instruction but never looked away from the door Ignis disappeared behind.

They were waiting but no one came and Gladio expected the worst. He wished he had taken a closer look at his wounds and then he would know if they were dangerous or not but he didn't have the time nor mind for that.

All the blood on his hands scared him because he had never seen so much of it. 

“I send a text to your father to get you a new shirt. You should use the restroom and wash the blood off,” Cor suggested calmly. 

“But what if they come back and-”

“I'll be here waiting. And the moment they come out I'll get you.”

Gladio didn't doubt Cor and part of his reason told him that this was the right thing to do.

Slowly Gladio rose from the chair and he had never felt as heavy as in that moment. His legs were like iron and his whole body still felt cold as he walked into the restroom. He avoided his reflection and took his shirt off, turned the water on and washed himself. His eyes watched the water wash the blood off and his hands used more strength than needed to rub it off his skin. He spent a great amount of time cleaning and huffing and trying to keep the angry tears from falling. 

After he was done washing the blood off his skin, Gladio looked into the mirror and only then realized how pale he was.

No, he thought and breathed in, he needed to stay calm and wait until the doctor told them about Ignis’ condition because perhaps it wasn't as bad as the blood made it look like.

The shock about what his mother was capable of and that Ignis willingly threw himself to protect Gladio into that attack made it all seem worse than it was, right? At least he clung to that hope and left the restroom to face his father and the King, both standing close to Cor. 

He walked towards them and met eyes with Cor, causing his father and the King to turn around and he wasn't sure what to make of their expressions. There was a lot he did not know, like where is mother was now and what others heard her saying. His mind recalled the homophobic insults and Gladio was certain she kept shouting them even when the guards dragged her away from his home.

But did his father hear any of them? Did someone tell the three man what happened or what they believed happened. No one could possibly know but Ignis, his mother and Gladio himself.

There was no fear or shame he felt.

If it were him he would have shouted his love for Ignis from the rooftops and let the world know that this beautiful man was loved him and gave the same love in return.

But Ignis didn't want to take that step and that caused a bad feeling.

“Are you alright?” Clarus asked and handed Gladio a black t-shirt. 

“Yeah,” Gladio said, but sighed when his father raised an eyebrow, showing that he did not quite believe his son's words. “Just a bit shaken.”

Gladio waited for them to ask or say something and he had hope that, perhaps, he could still keep their secret and Ignis’ wish alive. He wasn't going to confess anything that would give their relationship away again. 

“What happened, Gladio? The guards told me Ignis got hurt badly,” the King asked but it didn't sound like an order that forced Gladio to share every little detail. 

“I met with my mother and she didn't like what I had to say and lost it. She threw a vase at me and Ignis got hurt,” he explained but already noticed the questioning looks.

It wasn't a lie, that was what happened. But he wasn't going to say more and he let the three men know that through his eyes.

“Alright,” Clarus spoke and turned back to his two friends of many years. “Cor, will you stay with Gladio while I take care of Laila?”

Cor nodded and Gladio looked from the Marshall to his father and then to Regis who smiled at him.

Fuck, they knew, didn't they?

Gladio knew that smile, he had spent so many years watching his father and the King because he wanted to have the same friendship with Noctis and become a Shield worth protecting the future King.

But they were not just a King and their Shield, sharing an unbreakable bond. They were also friends who shared secrets, loved to gossip and be the kids they never stopped to be, Regis more than his father.

Though, Gladio felt so vulnerable and shaken, that he probably misunderstood the smile - at least he hoped so.

“Ronan will be here soon,” Regis said.

“What about Iris and Noctis?” Gladio asked, because he needed to be sure they were fine too. 

“Don't worry, they are with Jared and depending on Ignis’ condition they'll come too,” Regis explained. “They are a bit too young to face something like that.”

Gladio agreed silently, though he was certain that Noctis would want to see his two friends to convince himself they were fine. His family and friends were his weakness, Gladio knew that as good as anyone else who knew Noctis. But the King was right, even Gladio who had seen many wounds and ugly things through his training, was shaken to his core to see the person he loved hurt as badly as Ignis was.

And if he felt like that, what would it do to Noctis, who didn't share the same experiences Gladio had? 

“We'll be back later,” Clarus announced and shared another look with his son before he and the King left.

Gladio watched them leave and when they walked through the doors he let a sigh out.

This wasn't everything, he was certain of that but this wasn't something he needed to worry about now. 

He put the shirt on and sat down on a chair, waiting while Cor stood silently beside him. Gladio's mind was blank, no coherent thought reached his mind but only memories of his hurt boyfriend, breathing in his arms and turning pale with each passing second. When Ronan came he had no words to say and instead Cor explained what happened. Watching Ronan’s face change from worried to a thoughtful one, gave Gladio a bit of hope that things weren't as bad as they looked like. But Ronan hadn't seen his nephew and nor did Cor. 

“Thank you for bringing Ignis here,” was the first thing Ronan said after he approached Gladio, who stood up on his still shaking legs and bowed down slightly. 

“I'm sorry that I couldn't protect him,” Gladio said ruefully. 

“You aren't responsible for your mother's behavior, Gladiolus. Don't be so hard on yourself,” Ronan spoke kindly with a small smile. 

Gladio nodded but he couldn't stop the guilt he felt.  
  


* * *

 

They waited a little more than two hours and with each passing minute Gladio felt more sick, more worried and more guilt rising inside him.

Time was going by so slow that he almost went nuts but reminded himself of his training and that he needed to stay calm because there wasn't anything he could do or undo.

When the doors finally opened Gladio stopped walking up and down and watched carefully the doctor who walked to Ronan and spoke to him.

Gladio stopped breathing and observed their faces but there was nothing alarming about their expressions, though that didn't bring him the peace he was waiting for.

No, he needed to see Ignis with his own eyes to be certain about his condition.

Ronan nodded and smiled as the doctor pointed into a different direction. 

“You can come with us,” Ronan spoke and Gladio didn't need to be told twice.

They walked to an elevator and up to the second floor where he guided them to the first room on the right side. Though he wanted to rush inside and finally see his boyfriend, Gladio managed to hold back and let Ronan and the doctor in first before he and Cor followed them.

There he was, lying on a pure white bed and all traces of pain gone from his face and replaced by the peaceful expression Ignis wore when he was sleeping. Gladio took a step closer and noticed the bandage around his shoulder and arm, hidden by a white shirt that clearly wasn't his. Ignis always wore nice clothes that fitted his body perfectly. 

“How is he?” Gladio asked and looked at Ronan as the doctor left the room. 

“He'll be fine, Gladio. Don't worry.”

“But he lost so much blood…” he spoke more to himself than to anyone in the room. 

“It looked worse than it was. All Ignis needs is some painkillers, good care, and a lot of sleep,” Ronan assured. 

Gladio didn't question Ronan but he was certain that this wasn't everything. He probably needed stitches too and what about his mental state? Ignis was a strong person and he survived so many things but he had never been physically attacked, at least to Gladio’s knowledge. Another sigh fell from his lips as he closed his eyes and looked back towards the person he loved. Perhaps because he felt so vulnerable and was still shaken to his core, all these dark thoughts took over his mind and it wouldn't change until Ignis woke up and would voice his state - though knowing Ignis he probably wouldn't admit that he was in pain. 

Cor cleared his throat and Gladio realized then that he was staring a bit too long at his boyfriend.

He would have blushed if it were a different situation but now he looked at the Marshall and the uncle of his boyfriend, reading their faces and finding joy but also wonder. 

“We'll leave you alone, right Cor?” Ronan said and Cor nodded. 

“The King ordered to take today off while they take care of Laila. I'll be with Noctis and your sister,” Cor informed the Shield. 

“Thank you,” Gladio said and watched them go.

The moment the door closed he took a chair and placed it right next to Ignis’ bed but waited before he sat down. Now that it was just the two of them he was finally allowed to really look at him. He noticed no trace of blood but that, in fact, he had bandages everywhere around the left side of his upper body.

Gladio was sure that he had long deep cuts and that they would turn into scars, reminders of this hateful attack by his mother.

Thinking about it made his blood boil but he only needed to take one look at Ignis’ peaceful expression as he slept and Gladio forgot all about his anger.

His mother didn't matter, never did and never would.

Ignis mattered more than anything right now and Gladio sat down on the chair, taking Ignis’ hand into his as he rested his head on the bed and found comfort by the feeling of Ignis’ skin. 

 

* * *

 

It was around evening when Cor entered the room and brought something to eat for Gladio without saying much.

He didn't even raise an eyebrow when Gladio said he would stay there until Ignis woke up and let him be.

It was the calm before the storm, Gladio knew, that but he couldn't care less.

While he forced himself to eat something, he texted back and forth with his sister and Noctis, explaining what happened but also making sure they wouldn't worry too much.

Ignis was fine, he told them and himself and Noctis gave Gladio a good distraction and, perhaps, a pointer towards reality.

He filled him in about what happened to his mother and that he didn't know any details but he was certain she was held somewhere like a prisoner and he hadn't seen the King nor Clarus for hours. 

He wouldn't mind if she ended up being a prisoner or get exiled from Insomnia. Whatever the consequence was, as long as it kept her away from him and the people he loved, Gladio didn't care.

He managed to eat half of his meal and made a unpleasant face because it didn't taste as good as what Ignis was able to create and, Gods, how much he missed the evenings alone with Ignis.

His eyes wandered away from his plate to the pale face of his boyfriend and the twitch of his eyelids almost left unnoticed.

Gladio blinked and watched Ignis’ whole body waking up, his chest rising, his fingers feeling the sheets and his head moving to the right side. Gladio knew that pattern. Whenever Ignis woke up, he first looked at his window to guess if it was early in the morning, late, or still in the middle of the night and then he would turn to his left side, locking eyes with Gladio and smiling, with a blush or not, but always smiling.

But this room was not Ignis’ bedroom and his confusion when he saw Gladio was short before it got replaced by a painful hiss as his eyes screwed up. 

Gladio stood up so fast that he almost knocked off his plate, and even though he ached to touch Ignis, he kept his hands just above his boyfriend's body and watched him carefully. 

“Ignis?” Gladio spoke his name after some seconds. 

Ignis opened his eyes and looked towards Gladio, blinking tiredly before he moved his right hand, reaching out for him.

Without hesitation Gladio took Ignis’ hand into his, squeezing his cold fingers gently and showing him that he was awake and that this was reality. Ignis, finally, smiled when that information reached his head but hissed again when he tried to move. 

“Don't move, Ignis,” Gladio said, trying to sound positive instead of worried.

“What happened?” Ignis asked and looked around. “Why am I in the Citadel’s hospital?”

Gladio went through an inner argument about if he should tell Ignis what happened now or later, since he seemed to have no memory of Laila’s attack.

Though, knowing Ignis, he would ask him - or someone else - again and again and eventually come to his own conclusion when he got a better feeling of his body.

So the Shield sighed, sat back down and decided to tell Ignis what he wanted to know. 

“You've been hurt protecting me,” he started, the anger towards his mother and the disappointment in himself rising again, but Gladio was able to push his feelings away. “My mother threw a vase at me and you jumped in.”

Ignis closed his eyes as if to recall the memories but when he looked at Gladio again, it was not with a look of anger or pain but concern. 

“You didn't get hurt, right?”

A laugh left his lips after hearing Ignis’ worry and if he weren't in a hospital bed, Gladio would have tackled him, scooped him up in his arms and made fun of him while kissing Ignis breathless. 

“I'm fine, Ignis. Unlike you.”

Ignis nodded slowly and then lifted his injured arm, his face twisting with pain while he saw the bandages and nodded. 

“I remember… Not everything but I remember her outrageous behavior.”

Gladio wanted to ask if he remembered why she flipped and if Ignis was aware that other people also knew about their relationship.

He didn't, and instead suggested something else. 

“Should I get the doctor? Do you need something?”

Ignis nodded slowly and his weak fingers gave Gladio's hand a squeeze.

“Water would be good and I need to know if I have to stay here or not. And…”

Ignis didn't finish his last sentence but gave Gladio a look he understood too well.

After all this time Ignis did become more demanding and vocal about his wishes, like a kiss, but it was still rare and nothing like Gladio, who freely kissed and held Ignis when it felt right.

It used to be difficult to read the other but they've created their own silent language and so Gladio smiled and leaned closer to give what his boyfriend asked for. 

“I'll be right back,” Gladio announced after their lips parted and kissed Ignis’ fingers before he left the room to get water and the doctor. 

It took Gladio only a couple of minutes to get to the doctor and the water for Ignis since he knew the place well enough. Back in Ignis’ room, Gladio listened to their conversation and watched how much truth was behind Ignis’ words when he answered the doctor's questions. It wasn't a secret that Ignis probably ached to leave this place and do something productive and that thought brought a different kind of irritation up inside of the Shield.

It was already hard enough to convince Ignis to take a break from time to time, and though Gladio still found some humor in Ignis’ dedication towards the Prince, this moment was different. The memory of the blood on the floor, in Ignis’ clothes and on Gladio's skin was the reason why he wouldn't let Ignis get away this time and he hoped that, someone as smart as Ignis was, would know better too.

“Well, you can go home if that's what you want. But you can't do that on your own nor be alone. You're stable and your injuries aren't as bad as it probably looked like considering the loss of blood. However, to be certain, you need to have someone who'll guide and support you.”

Gladio wanted to high five the doctor for saying what he would have said anyway. But his euphoria vanished when he looked at the still pale, fragile looking advisor. 

“I understand,” Ignis agreed, with his glasses back on and sipping his water slowly. 

“And no moving around or your wounds will open up,” the doctor said. “I'll get you a wheelchair for now and after a good amount of sleep I want you to return tomorrow so I can check on you. It'll take some time until you fully recover.”

Gladio was a bit surprised that Ignis didn't ask how long it would take for him to get back to his daily life, but he excused Ignis’ passive behavior with him being tired and perhaps not liking hospitals. 

“I'll bring him home,” Gladio announced before the doctor could suggest something else.

“Alright, but I'll still inform Ronan and his Majesty.”

The couple agreed and when it was just them, a wheelchair and a package of painkillers, Gladio helped Ignis out of the bed by carrying him gently and carefully, apologizing when Ignis hissed yet again because his back hurt. 

“This is an exaggeration. I can move on my own without hurting myself,” Ignis complained and caused Gladio to be surprised and amused at the same time. 

“Perhaps, but better safe than sorry, right? Just relax and focus on recovering,” Gladio said and Ignis followed his words, leaning back while Gladio pushed the wheelchair to get back to Ignis’ apartment.

They didn't talk much but about what they wanted to eat, before going to sleep, both avoiding the topic they've been both wanting to talk about.

However, it was a topic not meant for anyone but them so they waited until they arrived in the safety of Ignis’ apartment. 

Gladio locked the doors and texted his father and Noctis about Ignis’ well being, informing them that he would take care of him because he felt guilty.

His father probably didn't buy that excuse but Noctis would for sure.

As he shoved his phone back into his pockets he heard something clatter and rushed into the living room to find Ignis holding himself up on the shelf, next to his bedroom door. 

“Ignis, you can't move on your own yet,” Gladio said while knowing it was a useless reminder. As selfless as Ignis was, he could be equally stubborn about certain things.

He walked around his boyfriend and took his healthy hand into his to help him stand, even though all he wanted was to carry Ignis in his arms and stop his body from trembling. 

“I'm just exhausted,” Ignis tried but Gladio's look made him close his mouth. “I'm not going to win this one, right?”

“You're damn right about that. This time I'll truly force you to stay in bed for a couple of days,” Gladio said with a grin but his voice wasn't filled with humor but heavy emotions. 

Ignis raised an eyebrow and watched Gladio for a while as if he was trying to read all the emotions going through Gladio, which he himself couldn't name. With a sigh he opened his good arm and let Gladio pull him up into his arms.

Satisfied with Ignis’ decision, Gladio carried him into the bedroom, gently and slowly because Ignis looked so fragile. It had always been in his mind, taught by his father, how fragile but also strong a human life was and he did not view Ignis as weak, because he wasn't. He had his weaknesses, just like Gladio did, but he was also a strong person which he constantly showed by taking care of Noctis, following his duty and also by loving Gladio in the unique way he could. 

Tonight though all Gladio wanted was to hold Ignis in his arms and protect him from the rest of the world. Perhaps Ignis understood the way Gladio looked at him that night, and perhaps he felt fragile himself because when Gladio asked - after laying Ignis down on the bed - if he needed anything, Ignis shook his head and placed his hand on Gladio's cheek, shaking his head no before he said.

“I don't need anything but this for now,” he confessed and pressed a gentle kiss against Gladio's lips, dry and tired but not less love filled.

“Okay,” Gladio whispered back, kissing him once more before he took his place next to Ignis and wrapped his arms around the smaller body, shielding him, them, from the rest of the world.  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update but I have so much work to do and that's basically all I do. Work and sleep and sometimes treat myself otherwise I'd go nuts. I hope you liked this chapter and I'm curious to know what all of you think :) Thank you for the constant support and love!


	19. Support

Chapter 19. Support   
  


The right side of his body felt terribly cold and the other side was hot.

That was the first thing Ignis noticed after he woke up, just before he felt the pain coming from his back and arm.

He forced down a whine and turned his head to the right side, where his window was, realizing that he was in his room and that it was almost afternoon since the sun was up enough to lighten up his room but still dimmed by the dark curtains.

How many hours did he sleep? A lot considering the approximate hour.

Ignis sighed and eventually turned to his left side, hissing when there was too much pressure on his arm and shoulder but smiling when he saw Gladio, sleeping peacefully with his arm wrapped around Ignis middle.

Memories of the day before returned slowly as he watched his boyfriend's face, memories of his panicked expression when he confessed his love for Ignis in front of another person, his relieved face when Ignis smiled at him and showed that he wasn't upset.

But also the horrified expression when Ignis got hurt.

From that on everything was nothing more than a blur, at least when he tried to recall another face or another room. Yet he knew what had happened and what had been said by the woman who called herself Gladio's mother but loathed the fact that he was in love. 

That he was in love with a man.

He remembered her screaming voice clearly and it wasn't hard to imagine her physical outburst. Her strength was impressive, he wouldn't deny that, but recalling her voice led to the memory of the loss of control over himself and the pain which numbed his body. Ignis sighed and wondered if this would become something traumatic or if it would become another experience he would learn to accept, just like he accepted his parents none existing interest in their own son. 

His eyes wandered back to Gladio's face and an unfamiliar certainty grew inside of him.

He wouldn't let someone as vile as Gladio's mother was, ruin his mental state nor their relationship. If anyone would ruin this, it would be Ignis and Gladio themselves.

Ignis moved his body slowly, ignoring the pain which happened because his whole weight was pushing down on his hurt side so he could touch Gladio's face. Everything boyish about him seemed to be gone more than a week ago and Ignis wondered if he only noticed it now, or if the events of the day before, had made Gladio age faster.

Logically he understood it wasn't possible but it bothered him a bit that he himself seemed to remain rather boyish - struggling with his hormones and the effects puberty had on his skin.

Gladio didn't seem to be bothered by it and nor did Ignis, but right now he was, although it was probably his mind coming up with whatever distraction it could find so he wouldn't feel the pain or recall the attack and its impact.

Ignis sighed and under his hand he felt Gladio's body moving, filling with air before he blinked confused and rubbed his eyes, like he did every morning. Seconds later his boyfriend realized where he was and gave Ignis his beloved soft smile as his large hand reached out to cup Ignis’ face and plant a sleepy kiss on his forehead.

“Morning,” Gladio spoke, his voice deeper and sleep filled. 

“It's almost noon I suppose,” Ignis mentioned and held Gladio's hand as he looked behind Ignis to see the sunlight. 

“Seems like it,” he agreed and looked back at him. “How are you feeling?”

“It… still hurts but I feel less dizzy. Which is good.”

Gladio said nothing but watched Ignis’ face before he eventually shared his thoughts which Ignis couldn't guess. 

“Can I take a look? I mean… I've seen some wounds so I want to be sure they didn't fuck it up.”

Ignis battled with himself how to label this statement - as an insult towards the crown and its choice of medical health, or if Gladio was simply worried and wanted to take care of him.

He guessed the latter and almost chuckled because of his own ridiculous interpretation of Gladio's words.

With a slow nod he carefully sat up and tried to take his shirt off, which became a true challenge. 

“Let me help you,” Gladio whispered, kissing his temple and squeezing Ignis’ good shoulder, knowing that it bothered him that he himself couldn't do something so simple. That he wasn't the one in control over himself. 

Half naked he didn't turn around when Gladio carefully touched the bandages and looked under them. It was just a short moment, a small glimpse, but enough for the Shield to know how bad his injury was. Yet, Ignis couldn't stop the hiss escaping his lips because it still hurt but Gladio let go immediately and instead wrapped his arms gently around Ignis’ middle from behind.

Warmth flooded his body, sinking into his bones and replacing the cold he hadn't realized he was feeling before.

Slowly Ignis leaned back to rest against Gladio's warm chest and let it happen. He stopped wondering why Gladio preferred to sleep topless and figured it out himself soon enough. Gladio was always warm and his weakness were Ignis’ cold feet, which he liked to tease him with sometimes. 

“You'll need to take a week off at least. It's not that bad, just a lot, but you are not allowed to take it lightly,” Gladio mumbled against his shoulder. 

Gladio rarely ordered Ignis something because he knew he met deaf ears, and yet, hearing it, sent a shiver through his body.

People who knew him would have said that control was some sort of fetish Ignis had, and perhaps it was the truth, in every sense. Not just taking control but also giving control to someone else. Ignis wasn't sure why he reacted the way he did and he blamed the painkillers for his foggy thoughts but he still hummed and kissed Gladio's cheek. 

“I'll do my best,” he promised. 

“I'm serious, Ignis. I don't want something like this to happen again,”

Gladio said and looked right into Ignis’ eyes to show how serious he was.

“You don't understand how worried I was and how shocked about your selflessness. I'm not saying it's a bad thing but you willingly threw yourself before me and you would have done the same for Noct, too… I just want you to be a bit more selfish, especially now.”

Ignis blinked several times before he spoke. 

“You would have done the same for me or Noct.”

“Yes, but I'm bigger and stronger than you guys are.”

Gladio was right, Ignis knew, but that didn't mean he wanted for Gladio to put himself in a dangerous situation, even though it was his duty as a Shield. Ignis didn't want to argue and simply nodded his tired head as he melted into Gladio's embrace. 

“I'll stay with you during the week, and I don't care if you like it or not,” Gladio said and squeezed Ignis a bit tighter against his body but not strong enough to hurt him. “I'll take care of you until you feel better because I know you and you will jump the moment someone calls for your help.”

Ignis doubted that Gladio was the only one thinking that way, everyone certainly did. But Gladio was the only one who could cause all these feelings inside him by ordering Ignis around. It still made no sense to Ignis, especially when his mind was a mess, fighting against the horrible memory, while his body reacted in a whole different way. He was aching for more than an embrace and he felt so embarrassed about that, still, after all this time. 

However, it was the perfect distraction and the best way to connect with the person he loved and the person who had been so worried about him that he showed his raw emotions since Ignis woke up. They both were shaken to their core and they both were concerned in their own ways about the other and about themselves.

So Ignis stretched his neck once more and kissed Gladio's jaw, while his good hand rested on Gladio's arms around his body. It was one of their wordless conversations, Ignis asking for more and telling Gladio all his feelings through a kiss. 

“Thank you,” Ignis whispered. 

“Don't thank me. I do it because I love you and no matter how hard I try to shake all these… bad things off, it's not that easy. But… feeling you close helps me to understand that everything is fine. That you are fine.” Then Gladio chuckled and rested his forehead against Ignis’ temple. “See? Pretty selfish, huh?”

It was hard to breath, hard to fight against his rising, ridiculous arousal and the love which flooded his heart.

Yes, Gladio could be selfish but in all the good ways and Ignis was willing to give him the control over this situation if it meant they both could forget what happened until they were less vulnerable. So, Ignis took his hand and pressed it against Gladio's to push it down his body, showing his boyfriend in what sort of mood he was right now, no matter how embarrassing or wrong timed it felt. 

“You're not the only one being selfish,” Ignis said through dry lips and not enough air in his lungs, when he felt Gladio's fingers on his bulge.

His chest was rising together with Gladio's who curiously looked down as if to make sure what he felt was true. 

“Ignis, we can't,” Gladio spoke but didn't move his hand away. “It'll be bad for your wounds and you'll be bleeding again.”

“I know, but we don't have to go all the way. Just… I… I need this to forget and to feel… better. I… I need you.”

He didn't want to voice how painful and numbing the memories were and it had nothing to do with doubting that Gladio would understand. From all the people around him, Gladio understood this situation the best and that's why he allowed him to be the one in control and help them both to forget for now and find the strength they needed. By being close. 

Gladio looked into Ignis’ eyes for a long time and eventually nodded, showing his understanding, just as Ignis hoped he would, and a heavy sigh fell from his lips when Gladio's hand moved and their lips connected in a soothing, loving kiss.

Every painful memory and noise disappeared into a dark corner of his mind and everything he heard and felt was Gladio. His deep voice humming right into his ear, his hand pressing against Ignis’ cock and giving him the friction he ached for, and his whole body enveloping Ignis’ body with a safety no one else could give him. There wasn't much he could do but kiss Gladio in that position, even though he wanted to reach behind himself and give his boyfriend the same feeling. But Gladio was so close that he took care of it himself, by rubbing his hard on against Ignis’ ass making him moan. 

“Feeling good?” Gladio asked against his hair, his voice deeper than usual as it always became when they were intimate. 

Ignis nodded, sighing and whimpering when he felt the large hand slipping inside his underwear and finally holding his cock and slowly stroking him, but with enough pressure to bring him closer to his orgasm.

The closer he came the more his body moved, his chest rising and falling by how hard he was breathing and his back arching because he wanted more. However, Gladio made sure to keep him close and that he wouldn't hurt himself or open his wounds by moving too much and too fast. His orgasm was approaching fast, the stronger and faster Gladio jerked him off and his moans became a nuance louder as his hand grabbed Gladio's arm before he spilled all over the fingers that kept on stroking him. 

His mind was blank, his view white, but Ignis could feel Gladio's lips on his forehead, his hand soothingly wandering over his belly and his voice humming happily. When his senses returned he felt something wet on his back and it wasn't the sweat from each other, it was Gladio's sperm - he could tell because his hard on was gone.

Ignis smiled and hid his face where Gladio's neck and shoulder met, while both beloved arms embraced him once more. 

“We should shower and eat something, what do you think?” Gladio suggested after a while and Ignis agreed.

He felt Gladio moving away and watched him opening the drawer of his nightstand to get two pairs of underwear for the both of them and a fresh pair of pajamas. Ignis wanted to complain and remind Gladio that he needed to go to the doctor first and for that he wanted to be dressed properly.

Gladio knew him and also prepared a nice pair of pants and a shirt that he could easily open when the doctor would check his wounds and change the bandages. 

Then he turned back to Ignis, his smile big and happy and his arms stretched out while he made grabby hands. Ignis snorted but didn't deny Gladio's help and let him lift him, as if he weighed nothing.

He slung his legs around Gladio's body and his good arm around his shoulder, giggling when Gladio kissed him as they walked out of the bedroom towards the bathroom.

Unable to take a shower and wash himself properly, Gladio helped Ignis without getting the bandages wet and also helped him getting dressed after. They walked to the kitchen and while Gladio prepared some late breakfast, Ignis was busy with his phone, texting Iris and Noctis back and forth and replying to everyone else who asked how he felt.

But his head still hurt a bit so the moment Ignis was done, he set his phone aside. 

“Noctis wants to come over later,” Ignis informed Gladio. 

“Yeah, he must be worried sick. Like everyone was,” Gladio said and set the two plates on the table so they could eat. “But it's not your fault so don't even start blaming yourself. The most important thing is that you are fine.”

Ignis smiled and started to eat.   
  


* * *

 

After they've visited the doctor and Ignis got new bandages and an ointment for his wounds, they returned to Ignis’ place. Since Gladio knew how to take care of it, Ignis didn't need to return for a week.

Back in Ignis’ apartment he sat down on his couch and hissed in pain because he moved far too much for his fresh wounds. The doctor gave him enough painkillers for the week but he didn't want to be drugged during the next days. A dizzy mind wasn't something he enjoyed. 

“You should sleep, Ignis,” Gladio said, concern filling his voice as he handed him a glass of water. “I know that you're not familiar with naps but it'll help you to heal.”

“Okay,” Ignis agreed and tried to find a position so the pain would become less.

“Okay? That's all?” Gladio asked one eyebrow raised while he walked towards Ignis and sat down next to him, running his fingers through his hair.

“Are you in so much pain that you agree to anything I tell you to do?”

Ignis closed his eyes as he focused on the gentle touch. “Not really.”

He felt Gladio's eyes on him, watching him in a way he did whenever he was on duty but with no less love or concern. Ignis waited for him to speak or to ask something but they got interrupted by a knock against the front door.

Gladio sighed and cupped Ignis’ face gently to share a short kiss as if he knew that they wouldn't be alone anymore until later. Ignis watched him go and guessed that it couldn't be Noctis nor Iris and thought it was his uncle but he was surprised when he heard Clarus’ voice coming from the corridor. 

In the back of his mind he recalled something that made him nervous but he couldn't remember what it was.

Instead he tried to get up and greet Gladio's father in the proper way but Clarus lifted his hand to stop him and smiled warmly at the adviser.

Ignis smiled too, as best as he could and tried to hide his nervousness.

“How are you feeling, Ignis?” Clarus asked.

“I'm much better, thank you,” Ignis answered.

“That's good to hear. Though, I can imagine you're still in pain.”

Ignis nodded slowly and looked at the table where the painkillers were and which he refused to take. But he had a feeling that Gladio would convince him to take them until his wounds would have healed a bit. Clarus looked from Ignis to his son and Ignis did the same, lifting his eyebrow when he noticed the conflicted expression on his boyfriend's face.

Suddenly what had slipped his mind came back.

The fact that certain people knew about their relationship. And one of those people was Gladio's father.

Ignis swallowed down his nervousness and tried to calm his nerves but it seemed like the hardest thing to do. He played with the thought of making their relationship public and in his mind he had been on a good way but something always held him back. Now he couldn't deny what he and Gladio were, what they felt for each other and it had been so easy to show it all, his love and support when Gladio declared his love in order to protect Ignis but also to show his importance. Ignis didn't hesitate then, but now… he didn't know what to say or do now in front of Gladio's father.

Would he be against it? Would he question their relationship? Their duty?

Ignis watched Gladio walk towards him and the closer he came the safer he felt.

“I hope Gladio takes good care of you?” Clarus asked and his voice wasn't filled with any disappointment or disgust. It was the same calm voice he always used when he genuinely cared about someone.

Ignis said nothing and tried to calculate this situation still even though the answer was so simple and nothing but the truth. However, he wasn't sure of Clarus was asking about Gladio's nursing skills or their relationship.

“He does,” Ignis said and felt Gladio standing behind the couch, right next to him.

Clarus nodded slowly and then looked back to his son.

“I have to say I'm not surprised to hear that you two are in a relationship,” he started and Ignis then looked down to hide his blush, listening carefully. “You aren't really fond of studying, Gladio, so I was wondering why you suddenly thought it was important. First I believed it was Ignis’ good influence on you but Regis was certain that it was more than just that.”

  
Oh Gods, Ignis thought.

So everyone knew? And the King knew it all along?

He could easily imagine it, how the King would drown in his new found gossip. But Ignis could also imagine Clarus being rather confused and questioning if what the King saw was true or not since it was about his own son. Ignis wondered if they had been watching them or not, if someone followed them around or not, but that was his mind going into a panic mode and not following any sort of coherent way of thinking.

“How did you find out?” Gladio asked, clearly surprised that it was known before the accident with his mother.

“I didn't. Regis just mentioned that you have a specific expression and way of talking whenever it was about Ignis. Just like Ignis does when he talks about you. Regis was certain and I had to listen to it for weeks. Eventually I noticed something was different but I couldn't tell what it was.”

It had always been hard for Ignis to read Clarus but today seemed to be impossible, as if his face was made of stone. Inside him a battle happened he couldn't see the outcome of but Gladio was calm and that made sense, somewhere in the chaos of his thoughts and emotions.

Gladio didn't care what others thought of their relationship and Gladio was also more than sure that everyone would support them.

Ignis, however, couldn't share the same positivity and the reason why was clear for him, but perhaps not for others. Gladio's family had a solid place as the Shield of the Crown for generations. He still needed to prove himself but this was still his home and he allowed himself a certain kind of freedom because he was still a human being.

Ignis didn't share the same background.

He got the chance of a better life, one that would help him to grow and use his full potential but also give him a place that he could call home and feel welcomed and safe in. He didn't take anything of this for granted and never wanted to do anything to disappoint the King. Ignis understood that he was just a human being and that he couldn't decide who he'd fallin love with, but being with Gladio could easily be labeled as conflict of interest. It wouldn't stop the way he felt but it would put him into a position Ignis didn't want to be in.

“Though, I have to say, I'm surprised that Ignis chose you,” Clarus said with a spark in his eyes and a little grin.

That was all it took for Ignis tension to leave his body and let a little snort out of his mouth. He tried to hide it behind his hand but Ignis felt Gladio's eyes on him and heard the groan.

“Really, Dad? Stabbing your own son in the back?”

Clarus laughed, then shook his head no and said: “I'm very proud of you, Gladio. Don't misunderstand. However, I'm not the one who needs to understand why you two are together and I know from experience that there is no answer. As long as you two are happy and follow your duty, there is no need to worry.”

“Our duty comes first,” Ignis assured.

“I'm sure it does for you. Unlike my son who likes to stretch boundaries and become adventurous,” Clarus smiled and then looked at his son who rolled his eyes. “But that is part of being young.”

“Please stop, Dad. Besides we want our relationship to remain a secret for as long as possible. Especially to Noctis,” Gladio explained and Clarus only lifted an eyebrow before he nodded slowly.

“I told everyone to do so and I doubt anyone believes what Laila is saying,” Clarus sighed before he continued. “Talking about Laila. She'll be exiled from Insomnia. We wanted to give her a chance but since she attacked a member of the crown we have no other choice.”

“Serves her right,” Gladio said coldly.

“I can't disagree and I'm terribly sorry that you got dragged into this, Ignis. Whatever she said to you isn't true and I hope you know that this is your home and that we all care about you,” Clarus said and it was the first time Ignis heard him becoming so sensible. But it fit his character and reminded Ignis of the softness and gentleness Gladio gave him any time he could.

Ignis smiled and nodded slowly, his gratefulness and happiness rising with each heartbeat. Deep down he knew, but hearing Clarus’ words was just another affirmation of what he believed in.

“Good. I'll be leaving then and leave you two alone. You should enjoy the rest of your summer break before the final year starts and the Prince becomes an adult himself, too. The two of you will be busy enough so take the time to rest,” Clarus spoke and left the apartment.

After the door closed, Ignis sunk deep into the cushions of the couch and focused on breathing for some seconds, as he sorted out his thoughts.

The King knew, Gladio's father knew, and a handful of other people knew or guessed. He was also certain that his uncle and Cor knew about their relationship and it didn't bother him.

It was like Clarus said, as long as they followed their duty and were happy, no one had the right to say anything against their relationship.

“How do you feel?” Gladio asked and walked around the couch to sit down next to Ignis.

“Exhausted… but happy. Your father's acceptance was more important to me than I was aware of.”

Gladio laughed and reached out for Ignis’ hand.

“As you heard, he thinks you deserve someone better than me,” Gladio joked. “But I'm happy too. Now I don't need to lie anymore about the reason why I want to be with you.”

Ignis squeezed Gladio's and said: “It must have been hard for you. My apologies.”

“Sometimes, yeah. But… I guess that's what people do when they are in love. Whatever makes their loved one happy.“

Ignis smiled and the happiness he felt was growing inside him more and more. So much that he felt like it would pour out of him because he didn't know where to keep it when there was not enough space inside his body.

“Anyway, it's not about me but you. Because you are the one who needs to be taken care of. And since your recovery is priority, I thought about ordering pizza when Noctis and Iris come,” Gladio said and Ignis was about to say no but his boyfriend didn't give him the chance to. “No, a slice of pizza from time to time isn't going to ruin the prince's diet. Let's just relax and until you feel better I'll cook for you.”

Ignis sighed and accepted his defeat which made Gladio smile even more and showed Ignis that he was equally as happy.

That was all he wanted for his boyfriend and for the people he cared about and who cared about him in return.

And he learned today that there were more people who loved him than he was aware of.   
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the late update. I've been busy and had some health issues, but it's getting slowly better - hopefully. Here we are at the end of chapter 19 and let's enjoy the soft Gladnis before I'll share the Angst I've planned. Thank you for your kudos and comments!


	20. Investigation Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mainly smut... oops!

  
  
Even though Ignis wasn't sure if he could spend a whole week with Gladio alone, it turned out that he could.

And it turned out to be even better than he expected.

Sure, they'd spend most of their free time together anyway, but being together for 24/7 was something entirely different. But it was the happiest time Ignis experienced, besides watching the Prince grow into a fine man.

Since they needed no excuse to spend their time together, Ignis also experienced more than just sharing his time and space with the person he loved. Their days off were filled with things he usually never considered doing, like binge watching a show or taking naps whenever he felt like it.

Though it ached in his fingers and mind to do something productive, Gladio had a unique talent - if you could call it like that - to distract him.

It were things like reading a book aloud as Ignis rested next to him or on his chest, relaxing to the sound and vibration of Gladio's voice. Or visiting the library or the park. Noctis came over often, together with Iris, and while her and Ignis judged the other two for being such big nerds, it also amused Ignis to see them both going upset over a ridiculous video game.

He enjoyed their conversations, during the day or in the middle of the night, he enjoyed the way Gladio so carefully took care of him and his wounds and how happy he sounded the more they healed.

And Ignis needed distraction more than he vocalized but Gladio knew it since he woke up together with Ignis when he was tossing the sheets around, hissing in pain, whining and mumbling something, as cold sweat covered his skin. It was Gladio who would hold him and whisper words of love and assurance until Ignis would realize that it had just been another nightmare.

And it was both of them who would give in into the lust they felt for each other and fall into the love they didn't know if it had an end or not. Gladio, however, stopped them from going all the way, conscious of Ignis hurt body, but proposed to try other things out.

It was their sixth night together and after a long evening with Noctis and Iris, Ignis sat in his bed and waited for Gladio's return. Even though their relationship was no longer a secret, Iris and Noctis still didn't know. So Gladio needed to accompany them back and return as soon as he could. He had promised Ignis a night without nightmares and suggested certain… things to try out.

Damn his dirty mouth and the things it did to Ignis…but he was beyond denial by now. He was still embarrassed about certain things that happened when they had sex, but Gladio never laughed at him, only with him. But Ignis was even more willing to try new things out. Tonight Ignis felt even better than days before. The pain had become less and his movements were more fluent, even though there were still limits he couldn't cross yet without hurting himself.

And that's how he found himself naked in his bed with Gladio between his legs doing things with his mouth and tongue Ignis couldn't describe. As he sat there, leaning against the headboard of his bed and watching Gladio's mouth moving up and down his hard on, nothing made sense and nothing mattered. He had never felt something like that and his orgasmn had never approached so fast.

Especially after Gladio looked him straight in the eyes and started to hum.

Bastard, was what Ignis thought before he came.

As he tried to breath, he felt Gladio planting kisses on his sweaty face, his fingers gently running through his hair, like he always did when Ignis was coming down from his high. It was his way to guide Ignis back to reality and when his vision became clear again, Ignis was met by a little grin and a happy shine in his lover's eyes.

Ignis wanted to glare at him but he couldn't and instead wondered since when Gladio could do what he had just done.

“You… “ Ignis began to say but his words got silenced by a deep kiss and Gladio's whole frame hovering over him.

Unable to resist he used his good hand and held the back of Gladio's head to keep him there for a while before he pulled at his hair and made Gladio hiss, that stupid grin still on his face.

“I was trying to speak.”

“I'm sorry but… you were so cute and I needed to kiss you,” Gladio apologized sweetly and made Ignis blush.

“Uh… well,” Ignis stammered while the Shield reached out for the tissues to clean them both. It somehow flattered and annoyed Ignis to realize that Gladio had come too, even though he hadn't touched him.

That was something that bothered him a lot, that he couldn't touch Gladio in the way he ached and wanted to, because his body wouldn't let him and then Gladio wouldn't let him when the pain became less. Ignis understood the reason why, and after his nightmares vanished and he was blessed with an organized and peaceful mind again, his wounds still wouldn't heal as fast as he wished they would.

“I was just wondering how you learned what you… did,” Ignis continued

“It's called gay porn, Ignis,” Gladio said and Ignis couldn't stop the embarrassed noise coming from his throat, which made Gladio smile in a teasing way.

“Why are you embarrassed? We have sex whenever we can.”

“It's… there is still a difference,” Ignis tried but his voice was high and breathy, as if he was virgin.

Gladio lay down next to him and reached out for the tissues to clean himself. Ignis watched his doing quietly but couldn't stop his mouth from watering when he saw Gladio's cock, no longer hard.

“Don't tell me you've never watched porn yourself. Everyone does that at our age.”

Well, that wasn't the case because Ignis did watch certain adult videos when he found out that he liked men, and also for research. It was before he and Gladio became a couple and after that he stopped watching, since he got the real thing. So… he wasn't in a position to judge his boyfriend, not that he would in the first place.

“I did… but that was before us,” Ignis admitted and instead of looking away, he decided to make eye contact.

Gladio smiled, no tease, no joke and then slung his arm around Ignis body and kissed his cheek before he suggested.

“Perhaps we can watch one together some day? I think it'll be hot.”

He looked at Gladio as if a second head had grown out of his shoulder and then blushed even more so that he was scared his skin would set on fire. Damn Gladio and his dirty mind and mouth, because yeah, the idea seemed somehow hot, and he didn't understand why. Gladio grinned as if could read Ignis’ mind but the adviser only cleared his throat and decided to change the topic.

“So… I was wondering about something else.”

“What's that?” Gladio asked, his face half buried in the pillow.

“You came, even though I didn't touch you. Not just today but I've noticed it a couple of times,” Ignis told.

“And that's bad?”

“No? I don't know. I just thought you might… pretend, because of me… because I'm still hurt and we can't go all the way.”

Gladio blinked confused and then smiled sweetly before he lifted his head from the pillow and buried his nose into Ignis’ neck. He couldn't see his face, but Ignis was sure Gladio was blushing himself, judging by the tips of his ear he could still see perfectly. It was rare to see Gladio blush but it was the cutest thing Ignis had ever seen and then he was mumbling something which caused Ignis to chuckle.

“I didn't hear that.”

Gladio moved his head back and showed Ignis his reddening face while he spoke.

“I didn't pretend. It's… you… you just do things to me and I can't help myself. You're beautiful, smart, and when we do it it's enough to hear you…and then it happens.”

“Oh…,” was all Ignis could say as his heart went wild in an almost painful way.

“Well… that's not a bad thing, right?”

“No, it's not. But I wonder how I'll survive school and not being allowed to touch you,” Gladio said, his face slowly losing its red.

“With Noctis around no. But I'll doubt he'll hang out with us. Besides… I doubt it would remain a secret if anyone knew at school,” Ignis thought out loud.

“However… we have places where no one else goes, so… It’s not like we can't have moments alone at all.”

Gladio blinked, confused, before his face lit up and a huge goofy smile showed.

“Ignis Scientia bending his own rules? Is there a delinquent side of you I didn't know about?”

Ignis shrugged amused. Perhaps it was odd or perhaps he simply had changed his perspective on certain things. Life was indeed short and there was nothing wrong with their love. And Ignis didn't want to miss any opportunity to have some time alone with Gladio, no matter where and no matter when.

“I've been thinking a lot about the past days and the things you've said about how it's your role to protect and not mine. And, I guess, I never really understood what it means to be a shield. Because… “ Ignis paused before he continued. “It's never something I needed to consider when it comes to my duty and the responsibility I have. Of course I would protect every person I care about. But it's not my first priority, it's yours, and considering what happened and how it could have ended and that it could have been you instead of me… it scares me. But it also made me realize that life is, indeed, short.”

Gladio said nothing but moved a bit closer and gently cupped Ignis’ face with his hands before he continued speaking.

“I'm sorry that I'm only realizing this now. The fact that you've been trained to accept death and sacrifice yourself in order for someone else to survive. I can't fathom it all and I probably never will, but I understand why you became so upset and why you do what you do and live your life to the fullest. Now… I do.”

He felt a different kind of embarrassment, one he didn't feel before because of his selflessness. Other people always came first, especially Noctis and eventually Gladio too. But while he understood Noctis most of the time and felt for him, Ignis never did it in the same way for Gladio. He never wondered what it meant to be a shield and he never questioned Gladio's character because he loved him for exactly who he was. But now it all made sense and the reason why Gladio lived the way he lived was… sad.

“Don't make such a face, Iggy. I'm selfish and you are selfless and believe me when I say it, I don't understand your level of selflessness either. But… that's alright.”

“Because we learn from each other,” Ignis finished the sentence and smiled at Gladio when he saw his face softening.  
  


* * *

 

Ignis looked forward to go back to school and finally use his brain in a productive way.

Since the accident everyone was keeping him away from any sort of work, making sure that he would rest. Though Ignis accepted that he needed to rest, it was still hard for him and he felt like he was losing parts of his intelligence. However, with Gladio around, he learned new things you could only learn with a partner, helping Ignis to not feel like he was wasting his time. Yes, he looked forward to go back to school, but he would miss the generous time he and Gladio were allowed to spend together.

Speaking of Gladio, Ignis couldn't stop his smile when he watched Gladio getting dressed and working on his tie. When he was done he walked towards Ignis, who was still sitting on the bed and helped him to tie his tie.

“I can do that though. The pain isn't as bad anymore,” Ignis tried but Gladio smiled and kissed the advisor gently.

“Let me enjoy this moment, before you'll drown in your work again and I'll only ever see you during evenings or when I force you to take a break,” Gladio explained amused.

“Well, I've learned that breaks are important,” Ignis shrugged and noticed the spark in Gladio's eyes.

“Does that mean you'll arrange more alone time for us?”

“I might. If you behave.”

Gladio chuckled and said with his low voice, which he always used to seduce Ignis and guide him to a world where only the two of them existed: “Then I'll make sure to be a good boy.”

Ignis could feel Gladio's warm breath on his lips and his own quickening as his mind became foggy. No, this was not the time for that and he managed to clear his throat and shake himself out of this addictive feeling.

“It's time to leave or we'll be late,” Ignis whispered but still kissed Gladio when he leaned in.

Instead of using Gladio's bike it was Nyx who drove them to school, all three of them. Noctis was sulking and Ignis rubbed the spot between his eyes as if he knew a headache would come soon.

Gladio however was chatting with Nyx since they knew each other pretty well because Nyx was part of the Kingsglaive - a group of elite soldiers working for the King. But sometimes they had to do other things apart from protecting the kingdom and babysitting was part of it. Ignis listened to their conversation and watched a Gladio he rarely saw but didn't love less, the Gladiolus Amicitia who was a soldier himself and hanging out with one of his comrades. When they arrived Noctis left the car first, with a mumbled thank you, and disappeared within the other students. Ignis and Gladio followed him soon after and kept an eye on their Prince until he was safely inside his classroom.

“I guess he wants to be treated as an adult now,” Gladio spoke as they walked to their classroom.

“I suppose, but he's still the Prince and needs protection. Though I understand that it must be hard to make friends if he's surrounded by guards or us,” Ignis sighed.

“Well, he's safe here and no one would lay a finger on Noct. Besides he doesn't let people too close so I think we should let him be a normal student, at least here,” Gladio suggested and opened the door to their classroom. “It might be hard for you to not baby him when he's so close, but if that's what he wishes, all we can do is respect that.”

Ignis thought about Gladio's words long and hard and then slowly nodded, even though it was against everything he promised to do.

With a sigh Ignis sat down on his seat and nodded slowly. He needed to focus on his studies anyway and during their breaks he would be available for the Prince. However, knowing Gladio and considering how Ignis himself already missed their time together, their breaks would be just for themselves.

Besides Ignis, no one else was really interested to focus on their studies. Most of them were curious about what happened to Ignis, since his arm was still wrapped in bandages and visible through the short sleeves of his shirt.

Not sure how to respond, he let Gladio do it for him, who came up with a story about Ignis and how he got hurt fighting against a Garula during their summer trip. It was a big lie but Ignis was amazed by how convincing Gladio sold that story.

As Ignis’ body healed more and more and while their daily life returned to normal, he found joy in the peace inside the Citadel and the homework and reports he got from Monica. He also enjoyed the moments when Gladio took him somewhere private - like the rooftop of the school - to steal kisses and hold hands while eating together. Everything seemed to be fine and he was grateful to whatever greater power blessed him and his loved ones.

But there was a storm coming and he would have never guessed that this storm would be caused by a fifteen year old blond boy.  
  


* * *

 

“What happened!?” Gladio exclaimed after he entered Ignis’ apartment, his face flushed from how fast he was running.

It was his reaction to the text Ignis had send him minutes ago ‘I need you, it's an emergency!’ and when their eyes met Gladio's worried expression changed.

He lifted an eyebrow because Ignis was unharmed, sitting at his desk and glued to his phone.

“You need to look at this,” Ignis left his seat and handed Gladio his phone, dead serious, where a bunch of photos from, what looked like Noctis apartment were. Clearly confused Gladio did what Ignis told him and then looked back at him, his confusion still clear as day written all over his face.

“Here,” Ignis took his phone back, flipped through the pictures and showed one of Noctis’ living room. Gladio still didn't know what Ignis was referring to since the place looked as chaotic as it always did. Was it that? Because Gladio knew it was Ignis who cleaned the place - since his body was fully healed - but not Noctis himself.

“I don't know what you mean Ignis. It's a mess, as usual.”

“Ignore the mess. Look at the table, there is a camera. Noctis doesn't own one,” he said totally certain about that.

“Well, it's not like he doesn't have money to buy one for himself,” Gladio tried.

Ignis raised an eyebrow and then Gladio gave in. “Okay, you're right. He doesn't go shopping alone. Anyway, it could belong to anyone and, perhaps, Noctis found a friend during the past weeks.”

Ignis’ body tensed immediately when that thought crossed his mind and another realization bloomed between his many thoughts. How did he miss that? He was responsible for Noct and spent most of his time with him. There was no way he could have missed a new person in Noctis’ life, right? Because if he had, Ignis felt like he failed big time.

It probably showed all over his face how shocked he was judging by Gladio's sigh, as he placed his hand on Ignis’ shoulder.

“He doesn't have to share everything with us. Besides, Noctis might behave like a brat and an idiot but he's not stupid. He wouldn't hang out with suspicious people,” Gladio tried to calm Ignis down but the advisor wasn't convinced yet.

“That might be true but I need to be certain that this person is a good influence.”

Gladio laughed and set down on the desk behind Ignis, taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

“So, what? You want to spy on the Prince?”

“That… I wouldn't call it spying but being worried,” Ignis said through his hand, trying to hide his embarrassed expression which made Gladio chuckle.

Ignis let Gladio pull him closer and threw a glance at his watch, realizing how late it was and that he should prepare dinner for them and also bring something to Noctis.

“Okay, if you are that worried we can start an investigation but before that, you need to gather more information. So, I'll cook something for us and you can go to Noctis’ place and cook for him before he starves himself to death or lives from Cup Noodles alone,” Gladio suggested with a grin.

“That's your influence on him,” Ignis huffed but immediately smiled when Gladio laughed and pulled him closer so they could share a kiss.

“Cup Noodles are delicious but I'll always prefer a taste of you,” Gladio said against his lips and Ignis could hear the promise behind his words.

Right, he was completely healed and they had agreed to go all the way tonight, which Ignis anticipated but he wouldn't say that out loud and feed Gladio's ego.

“You're really something else,” Ignis breathed through his nose and smiled even wider when Gladio brought their foreheads together.

“I blame my love for you for being the way I am,” Gladio joked and planted little kisses all over Ignis’ face until he was shaking with laughter.

 

* * *

 

Ignis didn't expect to get any sort of information when he went to Noctis that evening. But the Prince himself announced that he needed Friday evening off because he wanted to go to the arcades and play games and if it was okay if he went alone, since he was a high school student now and wanted to live like one.

Ignis agreed and after he served Noctis something to eat and cleaned his apartment, he drove home to inform his boyfriend about the plan he came up with. Gladio was more than amused at the beginning but eventually got tired when Ignis didn't stop talking about the possibilities of who Noctis would meet with, when they were in bed.

“What if it's a punk?” Ignis continued making up theories and Gladio lost count what number this theory had.

Perhaps 30 or more.

“We'll know soon enough, Iggy. So, can we stop talking about that while we are in bed?”

As Ignis climbed on the bed to take his place next to Gladio, he felt like he had just returned to reality and didn't even notice how ignorant he must have been.

“My apologies. I'm just worried.”

Gladio sighed and placed his arms around Ignis shoulders, kissing his head.

“I know. I'm not mad or anything. But it's boyfriend time now and Noct is safe at home.”

Ignis remembered their promise and Gladio did a good job by distracting him with his lips, by breathing against his ear and teasing Ignis with his tongue. It was ridiculous how something like that could switch all buttons inside of the advisor and soon his face was flushed and his breathing a bit faster. Gladio seemed to be pleased with himself when they faced each other, but Ignis had other plans.

True, he wanted to go all the way tonight but he wouldn't let Gladio take control.

Slowly Ignis moved and noticed the rising disappointment on Gladio's face as if he believed that Ignis wasn't done yet. But Gladio was not the only one who could surprise him. He did so by pushing Gladio down and climbing on top of him - he wished he had a camera to take a picture of his boyfriend because that expression was priceless.

“Since my body is healed and we are having our boyfriend time, I'd like to try some things out,” Ignis said and felt proud that he didn't stutter nor blushed furiously.

“You… you do? What things?”

Ignis enjoyed seeing Gladio blush and how he swallowed down his nervousness. In theory he knew that he was making Gladio nervous too and that Gladio thought he was cute but also sexy, something Ignis hardly believed since he hadn't grown nor changed physically as much as Gladio had. Whenever he saw himself there was still this boy, no kid but no adult either and rather boring than exciting. But Gladio loved him and that was all Ignis cared about for now.

“You'll know soon enough. Now, no hands and let me spoil you for once,” Ignis ordered and was pleased when Gladio agreed.

He swallowed, took a calming breath and hovered over the Shield to lean down and kiss him. First innocently but slowly he deepened the kiss, bringing them both into the mood. After all this time Ignis knew how to kiss Gladio to drive him crazy and when his boyfriend was panting and shaking a bit - probably trying to keep his hands to himself, which was certainly like a punishment for him since he loved to touch Ignis - Ignis pulled back with a pleased smile and then began to focus on what he wanted to finally do tonight.

With trembling fingers, which he hoped Gladio wouldn't mention, he pulled up his shirt and helped Gladio out of it. The sight of his naked, broad chest, made Ignis mouth water. His hands explored the soft skin, the hard muscles, the result of Gladio's hard training, and leaned down to shower it with kisses and suck on his nipples.

Gladio groaned and his whole body shivered which pleased Ignis even more.

As he kissed his way down Gladio's body Ignis eventually reached his crotch and felt Gladio's growing hard on rubbing against his own. A moan left his mouth and Ignis had half the mind to push up his glasses before he started to move his hips and watched, probably a bit too amused, how Gladio struggled to keep his hands away from him, as low noises left his lips and spurred Ignis on.

“Iggy, please… I need to touch you.”

“Not yet,” Ignis ordered but he himself ached for Gladio's touch, and so much more.

So he stopped what he was doing and positioned himself between Gladio's legs, stroking down his strong thighs and resting his hand on his bulge to feel his member throbbing and then his mind stopped working and an overwhelming desire took over.

So long, Ignis thought, and felt like he was in some sort of daze when his hands pulled down the underwear and Gladio's cock jumped free, thick and long, with visible veins Ignis wanted to lick and kiss. That's exactly what he did and that feeling sent a shiver down his spine, right to his own cock which was painfully hard within seconds.

If his mind had been able to produce any coherent thought, he would have felt embarrassed for how much he loved to do this, kiss and lick another man's penis, but that didn't happen. Instead he breathed in the smell of Gladio, which was so strong right there, and tried to take his cock into his mouth by licking the tip before he sucked on it. Gladio's moans and broken words encouraged Ignis to go further and further and he managed to recall what he had read about giving head.

His need to do everything perfectly right from the start tried to take over, but he remembered how concerned Gladio was for the first time he tried that and decided to not push himself. He needed practice and Gladio wouldn't be disappointed, Ignis knew that, and the sounds of pleasure coming from his boyfriend confirmed his thoughts. He took Gladio in as far as he could and hummed when the feeling of being filled became something good. He loved this, he loved Gladio and how much Ignis loved to give a blowjob would remain his secret for now.

“Ignis... Gods!” Gladio moaned his whole body trembling, and when Ignis looked up, his mouth full of cock, he could see how a switch turned inside of his boyfriend. “I can't... Ignis, please.”

Yes, Ignis thought, and let go off Gladio's cock carefully before he nodded and then felt Gladio's hands on his arms, pulling him up and their lips crashed together. It was all teeth and tongue, dirty in a new way, but soon they found their familiar rhythm.

His hands fumbled with his pants while Gladio reached for the nightstand to open the drawer and get the lube and a condom. They undressed each other with giggles as they tried to kiss still and Ignis huffed because of his glasses which he finally took off.

“It's been a while,” Gladio started somehow finding his composure as Ignis did when all he did was sitting on Gladio's lap and feeling his skin. “So we need to prepare you slowly.”

  
Ignis swallowed and shook his head.

“I've... I've already taken care of it,” he admitted shyly.

“You... what? When?” Gladio asked but realization filled his face right after.

“When you were showering?”

Ignis nodded and whined when he felt Gladio's fingers – already coated with lube – feeling for his entrance and a shaking breath fell from his lips.

Gods, he had been waiting for this moment for so long.

“You're so shy and yet so lewd. Whenever I think I've figured you out you just surprise me,” Gladio said low against his ear as he pushed two fingers easily inside.

“And you – ah!” Ignis wrapped his arms tightly around Gladio's neck while his hips moved with Gladio's fingers, aching for more and more. “You just get dirtier.”

“Dirty, lewd... isn't it all the same?” Gladio whispered and pushed three fingers inside, groaning when Ignis moaned against his mouth. His fingers opened Ignis more and more and their lips only broke to breath or moan.

“I'm ready,” Ignis whispered when the need for more became unbearable and Gladio nodded, taking the condom to roll it down on his cock.

Ignis still had his arms around Gladio's neck and looked behind his shoulder to watch Gladio's doing. Impatience was what he felt because what took only seconds felt like an eternity.

“Take your time. It's been a while,” Gladio said and held his cock for Ignis to move on his own and decide how long he needed.

Ignis wanted it so bad but he knew he couldn't rush it otherwise he would get hurt, even though he was well prepared. He felt the tip and couldn't hold the hiss back. Slowly he moved his hips up and back down, taking inch after inch and breathing hard together with his boyfriend.

“You know,” he spoke after a while, his mouth dry but his hips eagerly moving and taking Gladio deeper and deeper. “One day... I'd like to do this to you.”

“Yeah?” Gladio asked breathless and amused. “I want to know how it feels too.”

Ignis smiled when he finally took all of Gladio inside him and waited a bit longer to get used to it. Their eyes met and Gladio was smiling too, even more so when they kissed before Ignis began to move up and down slowly, broken moans falling from his mouth but the smile remained.

“It feels good,” Ignis whispered, his voice getting more and more hoarse. “Especially when you hit this spot.”

Ignis closed his eyes when he bent his body so Gladio would hit his prostate. He had been exploring himself for a while and found that spot when Gladio was away on his training. It took him by surprise but it felt good and it felt even better when it weren't his fingers but Gladio's cock hitting that spot.

His voice left his mouth embarrassing loud and guttural, his head thrown back as his whole body shook so Gladio needed to hold him otherwise he would have fallen backwards. 

“I... Ignis,” Gladio choked his name, reaching his climax but still hard and after some moments Ignis was back in control over himself and looked at Gladio, his eyes glassy, sweat covering his face but still smiled when he saw Gladio's astonished expression.

“Fuck,” was the only thing Ignis heard before he was pushed back down on the bed and kissed deeply. “When did you learn that... fuck.”

“When you were gone,” Ignis whispered, his arms around Gladio's neck as he slowly moved inside Ignis. “I explored... myself.”

A whine left Gladio's lips before he leaned his forehead against Ignis'. “From now on... let's explore everything together, okay?”

“Okay,” Ignis breathed.  
  
  
  
  
  



	21. Investigation Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long for this update. Life's crazy busy but here we are!

“Iggy, come on,” Gladio chuckled as he patted Ignis, who was hiding under the blanket.

No, he couldn't face Gladio now, not when his mind kept recalling the previous night and the things he did and the noises he made. This was too embarrassing right now.

“You weren't embarrassed last night though,” Gladio teased him gently and kissed what he believed was Ignis’ head.

“I am now,” Ignis whined and held the blanket a bit tighter, knowing damn well how ridiculous he was behaving.

“You want me to leave?”

“No…” Ignis spoke and looked from under the blanket to make sure Gladio was still next to him and not upset.

He was met with a gentle smile and not the grin he expected, since Gladio loved to tease people.

“Can I be inside your cave too?”

That made Ignis snort and forget about his embarrassment a little. He held the blanket up for Gladio to crawl inside and snuggle up against his side.

“Remember when little Noctis loved to take all the blankets he had and built the ultimate cave? I'll never forget the chaos and panic that happened when we couldn't find the both of you,” Gladio remembered.

“How could I forget. Everyone was worried sick and I was sure they'd kick me out because I wasn't taking care of Noctis properly,”

“Yeah, I remember your expression clearly.”

Ignis bathed in those memories for a moment and recalled a very happy Noctis who was so proud of his cave but then got scolded by Clarus. He also remembered the way Gladio had looked at him and if someone would have told him that Ignis would fall in love with Gladio and that they would also become a couple… Ignis would have never believed that.

“You know,” Ignis began saying. “When we were kids I believed for many years that you didn't like me.”

Gladio only looked at him, his smile gone but still calm, probably remembering himself how it was and what he felt years ago.

“I didn't understand you more than I disliked you. You were so close to Noctis and so different… I didn't understand how you did it. Because I, as his Shield, needed to be close to him, too. Perhaps I was irritated and a bit jealous. But, today, I love you for all those things.”

Ignis smiled when Gladio did and closed his eyes when he felt lips on his forehead.

 

* * *

 

The weekend came and Ignis set up a plan in order to follow Noctis but not be found out. Gladio would go to the arcade and Ignis to a nearby bookstore, otherwise it would look weird since he didn't care much about video games.

He texted back and forth with Gladio asking if Noctis already appeared in one of their sights, but nothing so far. Ignis doubted that Noctis would be friends with someone who was interested in books so he was most certain the arcade would be the best bet.

His theory became truth when Gladio texted him a picture. Ignis noticed the Prince right away so he focused on his company and, of course, he couldn't remain neutral.

_**He looks friendly tho.** _

Ignis huffed when he read Gladio's text and no, this person was a potential enemy so Ignis couldn't see anything friendly.

_We'll see._

Ignis almost blushed by Gladio's next text.

_**Stop freaking out, this guy will shit his pants when he meets us. ;)** _

Ignis snorted and trusted Gladio's judgment since he was there, witnessing live what was actually happening. A pictures could say a lot but not everything and certainly not always the truth.

With a sigh Ignis decided to follow the next step of their plan, which was to buy the ingredients he needed for the desert he would try to bake for Noctis.

While buying what he needed, Ignis constantly checked his phone and Gladio kept his promise by texting him every 30 minutes.

Even after two hours they were still at the arcade playing games and Ignis felt the need to go there and remind Noctis that playing video games for too long wasn't healthy. But he held back and bought what he needed before meeting with Gladio at a nearby Café so they could watch Noctis and his friend until they left the arcade. Ignis knew Noctis and he'd soon return home to read his collection of Manga or play his own video games.

When he arrived, Gladio was already inside the Café, sitting at the window with two cups of coffee on the table. He was worried and he wanted to finally meet the person Noctis let inside his life, but he couldn't stop the smile when their eyes connected. His steps became a bit faster as he entered the Café and stopped, slightly breathless when he reached the table.

Gladio's smile was even wider and there was some invisible force that pulled Ignis closer to his boyfriend. He noticed that change and how they both seemed to not get enough from each other with each passing day. They became more risky, more open, and Ignis was certain that there were rumors going around school about them being more than just friends.

But no one dared to ask them about it.

Ignis was still surprised how much changed and how he had changed and that he didn't feel bothered anymore about who knew about them and who didn't.

But not yet, Noctis couldn't know yet.

However, that didn't stop him from taking Gladio's hand and squeezing it, even though he wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss the person he loved. That little moment made Gladio smile more and his eyes were shining with pure happiness, just like Ignis’.

“I've already ordered coffee for us. I'm sure you need one,” Gladio spoke.

“Thank you,” Ignis said and took his place across from Gladio. “So, what sort of impression did he make? Do you know his name?”

“I think his name is Paul? Or Proll? I couldn't hear it through all the noise, and if I would have gone closer I would have been discovered. However, he doesn't seem to be bad. He's clumsy and smiles all the time, unlike Prince Grumpy. You'll see for yourself soon enough, I've heard them talking about going to Noctis’ place,” Gladio informed Ignis and took a sip from his coffee.

“It would be good to know his name to check his background,” Ignis said.

“What? You can do that?”

Ignis was just as surprised as Gladio after hearing his question.

“I can. I have access to the database which holds records of almost everyone who lives or even just passed in Insomnia. I need to know who I'm talking to after all. Though not all data is accessible for me.”

“Wow, I didn't know that. Explains why you know so much about the people visiting the King I never heard of,” Gladio said.

“It's not like I use it for my personal benefit. I only use it when I _have_ _to_. I understand the responsibility and the sensibility when I read the data. And I consider this important since it's about the safety of the future King,” Ignis explained. “That's why I need his name, because it would take forever to check all the blond males in Insomnia.”

Gladio nodded and looked out of the window before he said: “They wanted to go to Noct’s place and you wanted to visit him anyway today, right? After you've baked that thing he likes so much to taste-test. We should appear a bit sooner than usual so we can meet his friend for sure.”

It wasn't like Ignis to appear unannounced but otherwise he knew he wouldn't meet this person until it was, perhaps, too late. He looked out of the window as well and noticed Noctis right away, a rare sight to see him smile but somehow this - and Ignis finally understood Gladio's description - blond young man, had managed to make the moody Prince smile. Perhaps it was because of the nervousness the other person showed, or the also easy and warm vibe he gave from himself that made it so easy for Noct to smile. Or, it was all a perfect act, and Ignis didn't want to paint everything dark, but he needed to remain realistic, even though he wished for Noctis nothing but happiness.

“Oh… it's starting to rain,” Ignis mentioned when he noticed the first drops falling on the glass.

“I doubt they'll go anywhere else but Noctis’ place. We should leave too if you want to appear there sooner than usual,” Gladio suggested and took his wallet out to leave some money on the table.

“We should get an umbrella though.”

“I have one,” Gladio announced with a proud grin. “I saw the weather news and bought one in advance, hopeful we could have a romantic walk home under the umbrella.”

Ignis was speechless and then he blushed while chuckling about his hopeless romantic boyfriend. Now that their relationship wasn't a secret anymore inside the Citadel it was easy to imagine Gladio showing up with flowers or preparing dinner with candles and all these romantic things he told about after reading one of those books.

“I hope no one will see us,” Ignis teased but couldn't deny the feeling of freedom he felt because, yes, they could be more affectionate since certain people knew.

Just a little bit more though.

Gladio smiled from ear to ear and jumped from his seat, umbrella in one hand and the other stretched out for Ignis to take. The way his heart still jumped slightly faster by something simple like holding hands was ridiculous but good at the same time. But the excitement of holding hands in public, walking together under one umbrella as the rain mercilessly fell from the sky and shooed most people off the streets, was new and felt great, Ignis did not expect.

He had been so scared of people seeing them being a couple and he didn't know what scared him so much. Now he never wanted to let go of Gladio's hand nor miss the warmth of his skin as they made their way home through this cold October day.

 

* * *

 

Ignis felt Gladio's eyes on him more than they were focused on the book he held, while Ignis was preparing the pastry for Noctis. Since their walk together to the Citadel, for the world to see them being a couple, some sort of spark ignited and created an atmosphere Ignis felt was rather inappropriate.

Logically it was, but emotionally he couldn't do anything about the way he felt and he was sure Gladio probably felt the same way. The moment he put the pastry into the oven, Gladio was right behind him, smiling and placing his hands gently on Ignis’ hips as he left a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“I don't know what it is and it's kind of embarrassing to say that… but you in an apron does things to me.” Gladio said.

Ignis leaned back while Gladio spoke, drowning into the pleasant sound of his voice but blushing when he felt Gladio half hard pressed against him.

That was what he would have labeled as inappropriate if his mind would have functioned as it usually did when Gladio was not around. But Gladio was there, touching and talking to Ignis and pushing all the right buttons by doing nothing but being close. Ignis always wondered how he managed to make Gladio reach his orgasm without actually doing anything and how his presence and voice were enough to turn the Shield on. It had always been there, right from the beginning of their relationship, but the level of it reached a depth Ignis wondered if there even was a bottom.

Because he himself got to know this feeling and it was stronger than his own sanity.

“We have twenty minutes,” Ignis mumbled as he closed his eyes and put his hand on Gladio's, guiding it from his hip to the front of his pants.

He could feel Gladio's breath against his neck, his body trembling with Ignis’ and it hurt a bit to turn his head so they could kiss. He liked their height difference, that he could sink into Gladio's embrace and feel him everywhere, but sometimes it annoyed him how small he still was. Still boyish, still not the adult he wanted to be.

Though, now, he didn't want to think about that and got distracted in the best way possible. As Gladio pressed his hand against Ignis’ front, giving his cock the attention he needed, Ignis pressed his ass where Gladio needed it. For a while they did nothing but kiss and give each other the teasing friction before it became too much.

“Do you think coconut oil can be used as lube?” Gladio asked as he reached out for the jar on the counter Ignis was holding on to.

“It… it can.”

“Yeah?” Gladio said breathless and opened his and Ignis’ pants moaning when their clocks sprung free and their skin connected. Ignis tried to hold on to the counter but the feeling of Gladio pressed against his ass, hot and hard, made that task difficult. All he could think about was to feel him inside and it drove him almost crazy that it took so long because Gladio wanted to tease him instead.

“How do you know?”

“I did my research.”

“So… you wanted to do it somewhere else too and not just in your bedroom? A fantasy of yours?”

Yes, Ignis thought, he had his fantasies which came one after another the longer they were together and the more they did. Especially after their reunion and how they almost had sex inside the council room, Ignis mind started to produce possibilities he hadn't thought about before. One was, and he blushed while thinking about that, to suck Gladio off while wearing his uniform. But he was too shy to share this fantasy.

“You talk too much,” Ignis moaned and moved his hips when he felt Gladio's lubed finger at his entrance. “Ten minutes left.”

Gladio groaned and didn't say anything anymore, proceeding in doing what they both needed.

 

* * *

 

There was a loud noise, as if a dog got stepped on his tail after Ignis and Gladio entered Noctis’ apartment. The Shield walked in first, finding great joy in scarring Noct’s new friend by his presence alone.

Yes, Gladio could be scary with his muscles and deep voice, but he was just as gentle.

However, it amused Ignis a tiny bit when he entered the open living room and found a pissed off Prince and a blond, thin guy with freckles all over his face and all color gone. The blue, purple eyes wandered from the Shield to Ignis and then back to Noctis, as if he was supposed to explain who they were.

“You said no one would come here today,” the blond said and Noctis huffed, glaring at his two friends.

“What are you doing here? It's my day off.”

“You're the Prince and we are basically your parents, it's normal to annoy our son,” Gladio shrugged and if Noctis could, he would have set him on fire by his look alone.

“We were cooking dinner and knowing you,” Ignis started and pointed to the table where he could see the remains of a pizza box and other things he wished Noctis would eat less of “You'd probably order in. But it's important to eat healthy. Besides, I've prepared the pastry and I need you to try it out and tell me if it's right.”

“Thanks… “ Noctis mumbled and Gladio tried not to chuckle by how hard he was blushing because this was embarrassing. “Just leave it in the kitchen. I have… a friend here as you can see.”

Ignis couldn't deny how surprised he was to hear Noctis say that, and by the way Gladio looked at him, he knew that his boyfriend was equally surprised. It was the first time Noctis labeled someone as ‘friend’ and both understood that the situation was serious. So Ignis finally took his eyes away from the people he knew all his life and rested them on the blond guy, who was still pale and restless.

“So, you are Noctis’ friend, yeah?” Gladio asked and walked towards them, Noctis glare becoming darker and the other looking like a deer about to get hit by a car.

“Yes… I'm… my name is Prompto. Prompto Argentum,” he stammered and Ignis was surprised that he was able to stand on his trembling feet. Gladio eyed him suspiciously before he took his hand with a grin and a tight grip, shaking it with enthusiasm.

“I'm Gladiolus Amicitia, Shield of Prince Noctis.”

Prompto nodded as Noctis hid his face behind his hand and Ignis noticed the begging look his Prince gave him. But today Ignis couldn't give what Noct asked for since it was about his safety and getting to know a person who, probably, would remain at Noctis side for a bit longer.

“Nice to meet you, Prompto,” Ignis spoke when he stood next to Gladio, offering his hand but putting on a smile that seemed to be honest, even if his eyes were sharp and so was his squeeze when Prompto took his hand. “I'm Ignis Scientia, Advisor of Prince Noctis and responsible for his well being.”

Prompto nodded nervously, perhaps even a bit scared, but Ignis thought that was good. If he truly wanted to be Noctis’ friend, then Prompto needed to get along with Gladio and Ignis as well, since they wouldn't leave their King's side until one of them died.

“So, how did you and Noctis got to know each other?” Gladio asked the questions they agreed on while Ignis walked to the kitchen, sighing when he saw the state it was in, and started to clean while actively listening to his boyfriend and Prompto.

“Through school,” Noctis answered because Prompto seemed to have forgotten how to speak.

“I asked him, not you,” Gladio huffed and Ignis noticed the change of expression in Prompto’s face. He seemed to be shocked and then confused about how Gladio talked with Noctis. Yes, some years ago Ignis didn't like the way Gladio talked to the Prince either, but back then he didn't understand the meaning of friendship nor that Gladio wanted to give Noct as much normality as possible.

“You're scaring him, Gladio,” Noctis complained.

“So? You're the Prince and we need to make sure you're safe. Even though he doesn't look like a threat we still need to be sure he won't cause you any problems.”

“I… I won't. All I want to be is Noct’s friend,” Prompto spoke for himself and that did impress Ignis just like Gladio.

He looked over his shoulder while washing the dishes and watched Gladio's raised eyebrow and how he crossed his arms over his chest, standing in his full height and looking down at the blond, testing him.

But Prompto didn't look away, and though his legs were still shaking and if he had a tail it would have been between his legs, Ignis gave him credit for that.

So far everyone had kept their distance after they saw Noctis with either Ignis or Gladio. Not because they were threatening but because it seemed like Noctis was unreachable or his roots could become a bother. Anyone else turned out to have only one interest: fame and money.

But not Prompto and though Ignis was still careful and would still check his data, the bad feeling he had before, slowly died.

“Well, we'll see about that, won't we? Because if you remain friends it means we'll cross ways all the time,” Gladio said amused and Ignis couldn't stop the chuckle. Gladio liked to tease people whenever he could and that was what made him charming too. However, he still felt sorry for Prompto.

“Fine, you met him, can you please go now?” Noctis asked.

Gladio looked over to Ignis who was done with cleaning the kitchen and waited for him to say something. After all it was the Advisor who wanted to check on Noctis. Ignis nodded slowly because he had all the information he needed and left the kitchen to stand next to Gladio and take one final look at Prompto.

“I left food in the fridge and the pastry on the counter,” Ignis said addressing Noctis directly. “And a guard will check on you in two hours.”

“I'm not a baby!”

“No. But you are the future King and though I know you choose your friends wisely, it's better to be safe than sorry. We care about you but it's also our duty, you know that,” Ignis explained and tried to sound strict, even a bit commanding.

Yes, he spoiled Noctis, but at a time like this Ignis couldn't do what Noctis wanted. This time he needed to follow what he had been taught and what he and Gladio believed was the right thing until they knew more about this new friend.

“I get it,” Noctis said and now his pleading look wandered from Ignis to Gladio. A rare scene, but nothing uncommon.

“Good. We'll leave now and see you on Monday,” Ignis announced and nodded at Prompto.

“Yes, see you soon,” Gladio grinned at the blond and followed Ignis.

Outside Gladio laughed so hard that his whole body was shaking and Ignis sighed, feeling some sort of relief but still focused on the task he had to do: checking the database to know more about Prompto Argentum.

“That guy almost shit his pants,” Gladio said amused.

“You can be scary. And compared to you Prompto is nothing but skin and bones. I'd probably be scared too,” Ignis agreed.

“Says the one who can be as cold as Shiva.”

“We all have our weapons,” Ignis shrugged and remembered the time when he gave Gladio and many other people the same coldness he gave Prompto today. It was such a long time ago and he became silent as he remembered those very hard and dark times. But it didn't make him uncomfortable or sad. Instead it showed him how much had changed and how much he had changed and how much happier he was.

He felt Gladio's hand taking his, and looked up when he brought it to his lips, leaving a warm gentle kiss.

“But I prefer the warm Ignis. Pliant in my arms and giving me warmth in any way possible,” Gladio murmured.

“Is that your way to say sorry for calling me the ice queen?”

“This is me trying to say sorry that I probably made you feel uncomfortable,” Gladio said and didn't let go of his hand.

“You didn't. I simply recalled a time I haven't thought about for a while,” Ignis said and finally smiled, feeling like he was going through a deja vu. So Ignis smiled and leaned against him, squeezing his hand and sinking into the warmth of his body.

“I'm happy and my Shiva-Eyes will remain my secret weapon.”

Gladio hummed amused and as the cold October wind blew through the streets, none of them felt cold.

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, Prompto Argentum had no criminal record or any other suspicious entry in his personal data.

He was just a young man who Noctis chose as his friend because he felt comfortable and understood and not as if Prompto lurked him into a friendship for some personal benefit. And during the following months Ignis watched their friendship grow, just like his and Gladio's relationship did.

Besides their duty and studies - since it was their last year as high school students - they found through Prompto a bit more free time for themselves. Ignis hadn't noticed before how many times Noctis actually called for their company, but with Prompto in his life he figured it out pretty fast and got to know a side of his Prince he hadn't known nor noticed before. It wasn't easy to let him go but he had to and instead Ignis used this new free time for himself or for Gladio.

It was March when Ignis sat on the couch, his head resting on Gladio's lap, and went through the possible courses he could attend at the Insomnia University. He had many possibilities but he needed to choose something that would benefit his role as an advisor.

Gladio decided to study sports and literature. Ignis wanted to study literature too and thought that it was perhaps a good idea so they could spend some time together, since that would become less possible the moment they started university.

When he announced his decision - to study literature and politics - Gladio smiled happily.

Everything was perfect, Noctis was doing fine, Prompto became a close friend to them all and peace ruled over Insomnia.

Ignis bathed in that happiness together with Gladio, so much that he lost sight of something else.

“Ignis?”

It was his uncle who walked into the kitchen of the Citadel, where Ignis was practicing to bake a cake for Gladio, since it was his birthday soon.

He was there so Gladio wouldn't see it since Ignis wanted to surprise him, together with their friends and family. They had also agreed to make their relationship public after Gladio's birthday.

“Yes?” Ignis asked after he closed the oven.

“Is everything alright?”

Ignis raised an eyebrow clearly confused about that question.

“Of course,” Ignis said, not hiding his confusion.

Ronan watched him for some seconds before he continued talking.

“We had a meeting but you weren't there so I was wondering if you're sick. It's not like you to not show up.”

Never in his life had he missed a meeting. Not once, since he put his duty first, always. All color left his face as he pulled out his phone to check his appointments and there was a meeting with the council saved.

“I…” he began but he couldn't find the right words and there probably were none to excuse his absence. He looked at his uncle, feeling sorry and confused. “I don't know how that happened. I'm sorry, I hope the King isn't disappointed.”

“Hey, calm down. Nothing happened. We were just worried, okay?” His uncle smiled and waved his hands.

How could he smile and play it down as if it weren't one of the worst things that could happen.

Because for Ignis it was and he never felt that way nor did he know how to deal with it.

How and why, were the only two things he could think of.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes... There is angst ahead. Lots of angst.... and I know you love the angst ;)


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